“Should my husband quit his Aquatics Specialist job without a backup plan? How can he find a new job without a degree? Any advice for his mental health and communicating with his boss? #jobsearch #mentalhealth #careeradvice #jobstress #communicationissues“
The job market is pretty tough right now. If you are reliant on a dual income, then it’s better for him to find another job first before quitting to avoid any financial stress.
No it will not work. Keep applying
No he needs to keep applying. There are people who post who have been unemployed for 10 months or more , who actually have experience and are still finding it hard to find jobs. He needs to revamp his resume. And keep trying. Maybe you can do some Interview prep with him as well.
Absolutely not. Especially if he’s wanted a new job for years and haven’t acted on it.
He needs to work. You need the money.
Yeah I would not advise to to quit his job unless you have plenty of money saved up. I would think it would be best to look up trade schools and other accelerated programs to gain skills. There are online tests he can find and take which will help him determine jobs that might make him happy. Not perfect but a good starting point. Ultimately he just has to start researching and make a plan
My dad was doing on call fire and water restoration for about a year being yelled at by this one manager. He quit on the spot in 2012 and it nearly broke our family and made us homeless because he made enough to support us, my mom did not. Definitely never make a brash decision in depression cause it always blows up into something worse. Never quit a job without a backup unless you absolutely have to
From someone who is currently looking I would not recommend quitting at this time. It’s tough out there
Business veteran here.
Pretty sure a lot of the earlier answers didn’t actually read your post, because most are garbage.
What often happens on CareerGuidance is people ask questions that have some component of their jobs when they’re actually looking for information about LIFE guidance. This is such a post.
This is a mental health issue as much as, if not more than, a career one.
Unless it’s crazy-rare circumstances, nobody can go to work at 10:30 when it’s a be-there-by-9 job and get away with it for long. Further (and with apologies if this is presuming), your husband does not sound like he would easily pass a different interview and reference screening process for an Aquatics Specialist job.
He needs to do something else that doesn’t involve being responsible for other peoples’ lives because it’s aggravating his depression.
>He has no clue what he wants to do.
Both you and he need to start looking at some reality here and asking what CAN he do, not what does he WANT to do.
You say you two need the money. Perhaps he can take a stockroom job or be a labourer for a bit and realize that there are better options that he could train into.
Does your area have any sort of financed training programs that he can enrol in?
*Start looking down as well as sideways.* You may not have a choice, and perhaps there’s some motivation in doing something brainless and less stressful and more compatible with his autism, or perhaps that might even make him happier.
Best of luck.
I’m on disability for a physical condition. But a lot of people on disability have autism and are sent to the state vocational rehab. They specialize in helping people with conditions like autism identify what they would be good at and help get them hired or trained to get hired. I’d definitely have your husband look into that rather than blindly applying to jobs he either doesn’t really want or isn’t qualified for
Two people on 45k will be devastating. Not recommended
That’s a horrible idea.
If you think his mental health is bad now, imagine what it’s going to be when you guys can’t pay bills and end up with an eviction on your credit.
No. There are other ways to improve mental health that should be addressed first. Most likely his mental health issues did not stem from this job and are coming from other areas of his life and experience. Work on improving those areas, things like exercise, better diet, taking walks/going out into nature, etc. A lot of people hate their jobs and continue to show up on time and excel at what they do despite that, because they are not generally depressed. The two of you should work on improving his mental health first and then work on finding a better job. If he quits now in his state he will probably not find another job and things will only get worse for the two of you as you deal with financial issues on top of trying to find a new job while he is depressed and struggling. You mentioned he hasn’t even tried finding another job…
Don’t quit without a new job period. I burned my entire LIFE up in 6 months and had to go back home in my 40’s and they live far away from everything so getting back has become pointless and impossible it seems. Even a shitty salary is a salary and once you spend a few months away from people you start to become afraid which is an entirely new level in anxiety. Then comes the guilt and the self doubt and your fucked by then. I would go back to my job with a 50% pay cut if I could.
No. He is a grown, married man who chooses not to better himself or improve his situation. He needs to suck it up until he finds a different job…but guaranteed he will act the same in each job.
Never quit without a new job lined up.
Not in this job market. It would be career suicide.
Source: I am a recruiter.
Never quit a job before you have another lined up. It signals to prospective employers that you are desperate.
>he hasn’t acted on it.
>He has no degree, no experience in anything besides serving
>He never took SATs or ACT tests
>College is not really an option. He wouldn’t do well and it would be a waste of time and money.
>Technical college is a possibility but he has no clue what he wants to do.
>He really struggles with communication and asking questions
Good lord. I’m sorry if I sound rude but what does he have going for him? Does he like _anything_? Is he working on his communication?
>There aren’t many jobs near us anyway besides fast food or other crappy part time jobs
If they pay at least however much he makes today, I would switch. At least he’d get more experience on a different field. He could move up to manager etc.
Lifeguard is actualy a pretty chill job.
No he needs to grind, and suck it up. Search for another job or go to college, while working his current shit job. Or take a gamble on a apprenticeship in the IBEW OR PIPEFITTERS.
You both need to accept this : no one is going to come save you.
If technical college is an option, then I’d schedule a meeting with the guidance counselor there. Sometimes we just need to see what’s possible, what training is required, what the job market is like.
Can’t make peace with boss until/unless he starts showing up on time and staying until the end of the day. If you need the second income then do not quit without something else lined up. Especially in your area.
Nothing wrong with fast food until he gets things figured out. I did and I loved it (granted it was in a beach town and everyone was on vacation and happy, but still I loved the work).
Get him to a therapist for the depression asap
I only read the title and ran here to say:
THE JOB MARKET WILL EAT HIM UP
Been unemployed (without choice) for almost 4 months and I finally got a position that is a severe pay cut compared to the last 2 jobs I held..
This job market is atrocious. DO NOT quit a job without something else lined up. My suggestion would be to urge him to go back to serving in some capacity (nearby restaurants, maybe barista jobs, maybe even a cashier position) so that he is making some sort of money and he can leave his job AT his job. Then decide what he wants to do next. Technical training sounds like it might be a good fit but it’s also not free, so you need to make a plan.
No, he shouldn’t quit. I highly doubt that his mental health will be much better when you’re both living in poverty. Unless he’s got enough savings to support himself for a YEAR+ without income while he’s looking for new work, then no. He shouldn’t quit.
There’s a lot of “he can’t” in this. Start with what he can do. If that’s stocking the grocery store at night, working in construction, or getting licensed in something then he should do that. Just try *something*. It’s not like he’ll be married to whatever decision or new job he takes.
He might have the same problem with a next boss, so no, he should not do it
If he has true depression then a new job will only excite him momentarily then it creeps back in. Work on depression and looking for other opportunities while working is only way to go. I wanted to retire 4 years ago but had to wait for wife to start Medicare as my retirement only fully funds my healthcare. I’ve been depressed over it but in 4 months it will be over finally. I’ve had crappy jobs over the years but taking care of family was my no.1 job.
I recently up and left my job, because I hated it and it was killing me. It has been about a month and a half and I have gone on dozens of interviews (sometimes 3-4th stage) and I still haven’t been offered a position yet. I am an administrative professional with 15+ years of experience if that gives you any insight. Thankfully my partner makes enough money to support the both of us and I am appealing my unemployment claim (there is more drama to this story ;)) but I am getting worried that it might take me some time to find another job that pays well.
I would say he should do what his best for his health. If you can swing it financially, lots of community colleges offer free HVAC training and a few other types of free programs Java/SEO etc. The public library also offers a lot of free adult continuing education courses as well. He would probably be a lot happier selling secondhand goods on eBay/etsy or working PT in retail or the like. That ways he could do some free training courses and bring in some income but not feel like dying.
> College is not really an option. He wouldn’t do well and it would be a waste of time and money.
I don’t mean this to be rude, just speaking frankly. College isn’t hard, in many ways it can be easier than high school, particularly if you pick a major you’re passionate about. Money is certainly a factor, but barring mental health issues or learning disabilities, it is within any publicly educated American’s ability to graduate from college, and even then if the motivation is there many people with disabilities can and do overcome their limitations and graduate. 9 out of 10 times, in my experience, a student fails due to motivation or attitude issues rather than outright inability or incompetence, and that’s a fact that many bad professors fail to recognize. That said, motivation and attitude problems don’t exclusively affect academic performance, a poorly motivated employee is going to underperform and eventually fail at work as well. In general, outside of unskilled or menial labor, if a person questions their ability to complete a college degree, I’d question their ability to hold down a steady job, and most employers tend to agree with me on that!
> My husband has been working as an aquatics specialist for about 2 years.
I’m very sorry to hear that your husband feels stressed out by his workflow, that’s an uncomfortable position to be in regardless of the job, and especially if you feel that you can’t take responsibility for the safety of the people you’re tasked with keeping an eye on, I can absolutely see that weighing on someone. That said, 2 years in, lack of training is absolutely not an acceptable excuse for poor performance by any metric. I know it does happen, but if a worker hasn’t figured out what they’re supposed to be doing after working 40 hours a week for over 100 weeks, there’s something wrong with the worker, not the trainer. This ties back to my previous point, I could absolutely see someone clicking in, clocking out, collecting a paycheck, rinsing and repeating for 2 years and not really knowing what they’re doing, but that’s not working. If you’re not mentally present, you’re not working, and that’s a motivation issue. You’d expect that the dozenth time your husband ran into a task he didn’t know how to do he’d ask a coworker or his boss for help rather than fumbling through with no clear picture. That approach does nothing but make the situation worse for everyone involved including the worker, who is unnecessarily stressing themselves out and gradually burning through their plausible deniability.
> he leaves home at 10:30 and gets back at 4.
Respectfully, if your husband is spending a maximum of 5 hours at work every day, that’s on him not the job, and I would not expect the situation to improve by switching to a new job. Truthfully if this has been happening for a while I’m shocked that he hasn’t been fired yet. I can understand dreading going to work, and I can understand tuning out mentally at an unfulfilling job, but actively avoiding work is a failure of responsibility in his personal life, not just his professional life. Work is hard, sometimes it’s so hard that it’s painful, but working adults have a responsibility to provide for themselves and their families. Mature adults get up in the morning and force themselves out the door regardless, it’s just what you do. If your husband is so miserable that he’s incapable of doing that and on top of that also hasn’t been able to bring himself to apply to new jobs, it’s a problem with his mentality, whether that’s anxiety, depression, lack of discipline, general laziness, it could be any number of things, but it’s not just the workplace and workflow that’s causing this, it’s the “work” itself, and for someone in that position, getting used to not working is maybe the worst possible thing for them. If you take away a negative stimulus and don’t replace it with a positive one, they’ll have zero motivation to return to what was impacting them negatively.
TLDR. From a professional and personal perspective, quitting without having a job lined up is a terrible thing for your husband, and he should seek therapy or mindset counseling.
He needs to address his mental health issues before he decides to make any changes because he might just end up miserable is another job and discover the job’s not the issue, his mental health is.
Also, realistically, you need both incomes.
Baby steps but he has to want to take them. If he doesn’t, nothing will stick. If he quits his job without another lined up, he’ll likely not look for another job and then you’ll be dealing with a depressed unemployed spouse and having to cover all expenses on your salary alone because all he does is sleep all day. And, your mental health decline with the extra stress.
Quitting his job before he has another lined up with absolutely no degree or experience in his current role is the absolute number 1 worst thing he can do.
Even for the sake of mental health- I imagine it will get so much worse when you’re both struggling to pay bills and he’s trying to find a job at the same time.
The best thing you can do in this situation is be a support system and help him find a new job that’s a better fit.
I am actually quite confused.. is it not a requirement for aquatics specialist to have CPR and AED certifications, and if not a lifeguard certification at least being a good swimmer, or be able to use floating boards or hooks to save people? I am thinking of safety workers at like a water park and I don’t think they are this stressed, because they are equipped properly (life ring, rescue tube, life hook etc) such that saving people would not be an impossible job?
If he feels he didn’t have enough training or there are insufficient safety policies and equipment, he should bring it up with management either directly or through the union? Instead of worrying can he not try to proactively improve the situation, both for his own sake and also for the organization? If they are unethical and really couldn’t care less about safety then at least there is good justification for quitting.