#RelationshipAdvice #CelebrityCrushes #MonogamyStruggles
Hey, everyone! So, I (25M) have been officially dating my girlfriend (22F) for about six months now. We hit it off really well, and I find her super cool. 💖 But I recently stumbled upon something on her TikTok that’s been bugging me a bit, and I wanted to get your thoughts on it.
I follow her on TikTok, where she shares a lot of funny videos. However, I noticed she has a whole bunch of reposted clips, including those where she’s thirsty over celebrities—like actors and Olympians. Honestly, it gives me a weird feeling. 😅 Here’s why:
– **Monogamous Mindset**: I consider myself pretty monogamous. I don’t follow models or celebrity gossip, and I don’t watch porn or slide into DMs. For me, being in a relationship means focusing solely on my partner, you know?
– **Different Views on Attraction**: I understand that finding someone attractive is normal, even while you’re committed. But sharing videos that gush about other people feels off—almost like crossing a line.
– **Conflicting Values**: This makes me question if my perspective is too extreme or if she’s just being her authentic self. 😬
I haven’t brought it up with her yet because I wouldn’t want to come off as judgmental or possessive. At the same time, I can’t shake off this discomfort. Is it unreasonable for me to feel this way? Does my idea of monogamy seem unrealistic? 🤔
Would love to hear your thoughts on this! Here are a few questions you could help me with:
– Have any of you ever faced similar feelings in your relationships?
– How do you communicate about what feels acceptable or unacceptable when it comes to celebrity crushes or flirting?
– Do you think it’s healthy for couples to have boundaries on sharing content about other attractive people?
Your insights could really help me navigate this! Thanks for sharing! 🙌
What about your girlfriend’s celebrity crushes are “unacceptable”?
Do you think making a video saying you think a celebrity is hot is the same thing as watching porn or sliding into someone’s DMs to flirt or cheat?
It’s not weird to be uncomfortable with:
* your partner having crushes on other people whether they’re fictional, celebrities or people you know
* your partner watching porn/specific types of porn
* your partner dressing revealingly
* your partner going out to bars or clubs or whatever
* your partner checking out random people
* your partner having a bestie of the opposite gender
* your partner being in contact with their exes
* your partner liking thirsty posts or following e-thots
None of these things seem like a particularly big deal to follow anyway, dont feel bad for feeling uncomfortable homie
Hey . I’ll try give my best opinion on the situation, to be honest I think it’s perfectly normal to maybe see celebrities that way but reposting it is disrespectful to you and your relationship . Maybe talk to her about it and ask her not to repost them. It just depends what your relationship is like because in my past relationship I didn’t like when I got shouted at for liking a video of a celebrity, so she might find it accusatory but just try to be chill. I get where you’re coming from though, and I’m sure she isn’t doing anything bad that u don’t know about like DM things. You’ll be ok
I think you’re being a little insecure, but that’s besides the point: you have a right to conduct your relationships as you see fit, and you have the right to ask your partner to conduct herself as you see fit. However, you don’t have the right to expect her to *know* your expectations without you actually telling her them out loud. If this is a boundary you want to set, set it, with words, in conversation.
(You also don’t have a right to expect her to *follow* your boundaries. If she decides they’re too restrictive, she’s allowed to do that. You’re wouldn’t be wrong to set them, but *she* wouldn’t be wrong to find them incompatible with her lifestyle. And if you aren’t wrong and she isn’t wrong, the only thing the two of you can be is wrong *for each other*.)
Talking about celebrities that you fancy and sharing videos about them isn’t cheating. And it’s not the same as watching porn, which is also an okay thing to do in a healthy monogamous relationship once you’re both in agreement about it. Different couples draw the line in different places, but sharing celebrity videos isn’t a normal place to draw it.
As a woman, I feel the same exact way about this. It honestly restores my hope a bit that there is a man out there who thinks the way you do, I respect it a lot and I can honestly only hope that I’ll find a partner with your outlook on this. I would express to her that it makes you uncomfortable and is disrespectful. If she apologizes, unfollows, and takes it off her socials and doesn’t do it again then I’d move on from it. But if she picks a fight, it’s not worth it.
Most people, including people in happy, monogamous relationships, sometimes experience attraction to other people. Relatively few people post about it in public or go on about celebrity crushes in front of their partners.
How would you feel about saying something like “Could you stop posting thirsty videos about people? It’s fine that you think they’re attractive, I just don’t want you going on about it where I can see it”
Have you spoken to her at all about this or her perspective? It’s not porn, it’s celebrity garbage videos on Tiktok. Sounds like you might be incompatible based off of that but you need to talk to her first before you jump to conclusions and start calling it porn.
just tell her how you feel
edit: ive been in this situation. my bf was a big fan of one of the twice (kpop girl group) members and he has like tons of her photos saved in his instagram account. i told him that it makes me uncomfortable bc this woman is like cute and dainty or whatever which is not so me so i communicated it and let him know what i felt and told him do what he want or what he thinks will make me feel better. and he did. this was like within the first year of our relationship and we are now 5 years together.
Just because someone is in a relationship does not make them dead and monogamy does not mean ownership. Your insecurities about her having a few celebrity crushes say more about you than her.
Now you can talk to her about how you feel but she is under no obligation to stop what she’s doing. Its pretty harmless. I mean, is she sending these celebrities love letters? Sending them messages about wanting to hook up? Getting restraining orders served against her? Then it’s fine.
At the end of the day it’s you she’s with, thats all that should matter.
Yes you are weird
Nope. Obviously people are allowed to have different standards in relationships, but there’s a HUGE difference between finding other people attractive and actively thirsting/posting about it/liking thirst traps/etc etc
and I’m sick if people normalizing that.
Personally I love your take and it’s restoring my faith in men.
I also think a lot of women just assume men are drowning in porn so feel some need to “have their thing too”
Otherwise it’s embarrassing for us to be like “I saved everything for just him… and he watched other women’s sex tapes every day”
My advice: Explain to her what your ideal relationship would be.
I think it’s fair that each couple has a different line of what they’d call “cheating” or “not ok” but I also think it’s impossible to deny that relationships are better when it truly is just two people sharing their sexuality/intimacy with each other and not including all their favorite sexy internet people
You’re very reasonable and I wish more guys were like this
Hmm at first I thought it was a bit insecure but than I thought if my bf did the same, reposting thirst trap vids, I’d be upset lol so I totally get where you’re coming from
Sounds kind of immature. But she is 22.
you’re allowed to feel how you want about it, but me and my friends who are around your age wouldn’t really consider that weird at all
I’ve actually been thinking about the same exact thing recently in my own relationship. She wants to get a flag of a shirtless celebrity on her wall for her room. It irks me quite a bit but when I express that it makes me uncomfortable she says that she can have a celebrity crush and shouldn’t have to feel bad about it.
Having “celebrity crushes” is already a red flag on it’s own. Sure you can have celebrities you like or find attractive, but calling them “crushes” is just disrespectful to any partner. It’s similar to let’s say, “work husband/wife”.
Being a celebrity doesn’t make the exception, it could be Steve or anyone she knows and the effect is the same, she has a crush on someone that isn’t her partner. Is just disrespectful no matter how much someone will try to spin it.
I can’t say that the way you feel is wrong, you feel how you feel, but my opinion is that you may be overreacting. However everyone is different.
Those people will never even know she exists.
Personally, Hugh Jackman really turned my GF on and we had great sex after, I call it a win 🙂
It’s normal to have the occasional bout of physical attraction to another
It’s not appropriate to actively thirst over them, shove it in a partners face, or make it a central part of one’s personality
>i havent talked about it
Talk to her about it.
i don’t understand celebrity crushes.. my past friend’s ex had celebrity crushes and would constantly call them attractive in front of this friend. which caused him to become insecure about his body and looks and overall made him feel ugly and undesirable if he didn’t look like her crushes
is it cheating? no. but it 9/10 times makes the partner feel shitty and if you need to communicate to her about this. it’s harsh but if she cares she’ll stop. it’s no longer a matter of if having these crushes is okay or not, it’s a matter of if she’ll take your feelings into consideration or not.
personally, i don’t get thirsting over celebrity crushes when you’re in a relationship. because you’re talking about crushes in a relationship? and why is that normalized? it’s fine if both parties and fine with it, but if you’re not okay with it you should talk to her about it and why you don’t like it
Tell her how you feel! Maybe she doesn’t realize it. Celebrities are just people like us who more people know about. I’ve known people who have hooked up with lower tier celebrities so it’s entirely possible it can happen. That’s why in my own relationships I won’t thirst after famous men because I love the man I’m with. Every relationship has its own rules so some people won’t mind it and some do. Just be honest with her and see if she can see your point of view.
Even if it was “weird,” it wouldn’t matter. What matters is that its what you feel; which means either you need to respond to those feelings internally and choose to disregard them, she needs to change her behavior to accomodate those feelings, or you need to leave her. Choose whichever is possible and feels the best for you.
I think many people would find her behavior embarassing and demeaning to their partner, and some would find it no big deal. I dont think either position is rare enough to consider “weird.”
I’m going to let you in on a secret. A lot of people in relationships have celebrity crushes… It’s harmless, these celebrities don’t even know they exist
If you want to draw a line in the sand over this, by all means but I personally wouldn’t care
You can’t relaly help people feeling attracted to others, in luding your own partner in a relationship. The posted thirst videos are weird though, especially if she’s still doing it. Have a conversation with her about it
You can’t stop her from reposting things or following celebrities. That’s just controlling as fuck!
Most people follow celebrities that they either admire or have a crush on – or both!
But most partners aren’t **that** insecure to basically say that their boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t allowed to follow celebs.
**You can make the decision for yourself** not to follow celebrities, but you **can’t make that decision for her.** You don’t own her, and you can’t expect her to live by the same standards that you set yourself.
Jesus, you’ve only been with her for 6 months and you’re already this controlling and jealous?
I think she is who she is. If you do not like it, leave.
That’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable with that. It’s also normal to not feel uncomfortable, but it’s about what you feel. This is a relationship between two people if you’re uncomfortable then you’re uncomfortable. The same argument is completely OK from a woman’s perspective so it’s OK for you.
Talk with her about how u feel. Thirsting over anybody during relationship is not okay , tell her that u feel bad about it , but tell it to her with love, not possessiveness. Thirsting is not okay, but I think having small crushes on celebrities is okay and normal. Everyone has it lol. It’s not like celebrities are coming after normal people like us
I have a boyfriend who I love a lot and I am extremely loyal to him. Yet I have a huge crush on Lee min ho (Korean actor) since teenage years and still love him a lot as a fan lol , it doesn’t mean I love my bf any less. He’s my celebrity crush only
Even my bf has a crush on Jennifer Lawrence , but it’s just a normal crush on celebrity. Nothing to worry about
Celebrities usually aren’t a threat bro
Yes. It is weird, as in not a mature well adjusted feeling.
But, it is how you are. And that is okay.
Communication is key here – you have every right to feel what you feel and no obligation to hide the fact that something makes you uncomfortable. Don’t judge. Just express how that makes you feel.
Once you let her know, you may feel better just as a result. Hopefully, it leads to a discussion. Hopefully it leads to a stronger relationship.
I promise you, in 30 years if you two are together, you won’t begrudge her celebrity crushes. My wife knows full well what I think of Salma Hayek. 🤤
Just set up some boundaries about this stuff, I bet she don’t like you giving likes to half naked women on IG right? Well, same thing. Communication is key big bro! If she can’t compromise, why would you?