“Is it wrong for me to have called my brother’s girlfriend ridiculous for thinking it’s creepy that my brother painted my nails? Should I apologize to her? #FamilyDinnerDrama #BrothersGirlfriend #PaintingNails #SisterlyBonding #ApologizeOrNot”
### I (33F) meeting my brother’s girlfriend (29F)
– Met my brother’s girlfriend at a family dinner
– Been dating for 6 months
– Things getting serious
– Brother painting my nails sparked tension
### Brother painting my nails “creepy”?
– Brother painted my nails as a bonding moment
– Girlfriend found it odd and creepy
– Tension at the dinner table
– I called her ridiculous for thinking it was creepy
### Should I apologize?
– Worried about crossing a line
– Considered reaching out to apologize
– Brother confused about girlfriend’s reaction
– Reflecting on our different family dynamics
Remember, it’s important to consider others’ perspectives and emotions, even if they differ from our own. #CommunicationIsKey #UnderstandingIsEssential
NTA. She probably thinks man painting nails is feminine and doesn’t like it. That is actually ridiculous, so you were right. I think it’s now up to your brother to talk to her and explain that there is nothing wrong with painting your sisters nails.
NTA
Nothing about this is creepy. It’s just a sweet siblings bonding moment.
And I don’t really care if her home life wasn’t as nice as yours growing up. She has no right to judge someone else’s family just because they have a different lifestyle than hers. And especially considering this is her first meeting with your family, she did not make a good first impression.
NTA. She should have asked him to paint her nails as well. As it is, she lost a golden opportunity to make use of her boyfriend’s steady hands.
NTA but don’t involve yourself. This is for your brother to sort out.
NTA. You are correct. She was being ridiculous.
NTA. So, I think one of two things, or maybe both, is going on here. 1) She is weirdly jealous of you, his sister, which is stupid, or 2) She thinks that your brother painting nails is either feminine or “gay”, which is also stupid.
Hopefully his next girlfriend is less stupid.
NTA. She sounds like a weirdo.
NTA. She was being creepy and ridiculous.
NTA It’s certainly an odd reaction and i don’t think you were rude to say it. I guess painting nails could be seen as intimate but it just shows you are close siblings. It’s not your problem to fix the GF needs to ask herself if you were sisters would it feel weird, which the answer would likely be no. Shouldn’t make a difference.
NTA.
I don’t understand how painting nails can be considered creepy.
Me and my littlesister painting eachother nails nothing weird about it, im 33M and she is 28F
my Littlesister got me into nails painting and i find it stress relaxing to paint nails so does she
Even our family thinks is cool and compliment our nails to family gatherings
NTA
NTA. This is interesting. I’d like to know her background. What her family is like that she thinks this is creepy. She definitely has issues. I mean, she would simply be homophobic. But it could be something deeper. No matter what, she didn’t leave a very good impression with your family.
Nta
She IS ridiculous
NTA. Painting nails is completely harmless. I’m assuming she wouldn’t have had an issue with it if it was 2 sisters instead of a brother and a sister. Probably some weird stuff that is related to gender roles. However, I wouldn’t get involved with it if I were you. Don’t talk negatively about her to your brother or parents. Just let your brother figure it out.
NTA
she sounds like fun! No internalized misogyny or sexism at all from this chick that might be a problem in the future at all!
NTA. It’s a siblings thing. When we all still lived at home my siblings and I did each others’ hair and nails. Your brother’s girlfriend is weird.
NTA. This sounds like a gender role gender conforming thing and she may be concerned about your brother’s sexuality. In my area many men are more amenable to getting mani/pedis or at least pedis. Many guys in my HS also had painted nails in their emo phase. It’s sad to see the judgment but it may have opened the door to a bigger issue he’s better off finding out about now.
NTA I’m like you I don’t have steady hands and if one of my brother or a male I know offered. I’d happily accept. This is her issue, probably to do with the male role or something stupid like that. The two of you were obviously raised in a very stable household.
NTA. Male nail techs are common place, it my area. She is being absolutely ridiculous.
Just because your brother was Goth does not mean that’s the reason he’s good at painting nails. Many of us goths sucked at painting our nails back in the 80s/90s/00s and still suck at it today. Some non goth men are great at painting nails too.
NTA. I would be so out off by this comment. I didn’t grow up with my brother painting my nails but I think this is so sweet. I would never see that and think “creepy”. So clearly there’s something else going on. My guess is she doesn’t like the perceived femininity of him painting your nails. Or she doesn’t like the bonding between you two. Idk. That’s just my take.
NTA! I used to help my sister wax her legs, funny story one time I griped the thing you’re supposed to pull off and I slipped and punched myself in the face. Knocked myself out for a couple minutes. 🤣
NTA, every family’s “normal” is different because every family is different. She needs to understand that and respect it. He may go to her house and find something she does or doesn’t do with her family uncomfortable, but that’s her family’s norm.
He’s painting your fingernails, not giving you a Brazilian wax job. He needs to think about whether this chick is worth any more of his time than the six months he put in because she’s just going to be more possessive as time goes on and it’s going to wreck his relationship with his family. NTA
NTA
Your brother is a good soul. He chose to paint your nails for you because of your shaky hands. The girlfriend *is* being ridiculous.
That’s such a cute way to bond. NTA and not creepy
NTA – but am I crazy to think this is a little weird? Like it’s fine and cute and wholesome and all, but it’s not crazy that the GF thought this was weird. Like, nail polish is fine, but cutting into the introduction night with an impromptu sibling nail painting is kinda weird.
You didn’t go too far by saying she was being ridiculous because obviously the vibe was that everyone was having fun, but come on it is kinda weird. Maybe the GF didn’t know your brother was into make up, but it’s kinda hard to believe he’d be so comfortable bringing it up and painting your nails if it wasn’t something she knew about. Maybe it’s just the him painting your nails that felt intimate to her? Idk I’ve got a bigger gap between my siblings and never did things like this.
Either way, this is between him and her now. You shouldn’t concern yourself with it or your comment. If it’s a problem between them then it was always going to come to a head.
NTA
You said she was being ridiculous, you didn’t call her a b!tch or a c_nt. Also what she considers a normal family life is not going to be normal to everyone else. There is never going to be a family where she is going to think absolutely everything is normal unless it’s her own and she wants to be her own Aunt. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say she doesn’t have many gay friends or friends with gay siblings cause I painted my younger sisters nails more than a few times growing up and even helped my stepmother with hers on one or two occasions so she’d likely find our family “creepy” as well; or she may be one of those people that would say it’s ok because it’s a gay guy but a straight guy can’t do it. Either way you did nothing wrong, she was actually the one who was in the wrong especially since she was a guest in y’all’s house. The way you responded was reasonable and honestly I know people who would’ve said way worse in that situation.
>perhaps her home life wasn’t as nice as ours growing up.
True. I’m always surprised at how some siblings fight each other because we were never like that. So I can imagine you bonding with your brother might feel like a culture shock for his gf. But she didn’t have to be so rude, and even after that she must have read the room saying “no, it’s not creepy, you’re the odd one here for thinking that” and apologize or shut up. NTA, she was being ridiculous **and** a disrespectful guest.
She lost attraction too him in a major way in that moment, doesn’t like the femininity in her partner
NTA, but as a favor to your brother I’d apologize anyway.
Tbh, I think there is a time and a place for everything, and painting ur nails at the table doesn’t really fit well with meeting his new gf. I wld feel disrespected if I was a guest and this happened, but she shldnt have said it like that or expressed it at that time… Both AH..?
NTA.
Calling your boyfriend’s family “creepy” the first time you meet them is …intense…
As someone who grew up with older brothers who did their best to insult me when they weren’t ignoring me, I would have KILLED to have a relationship with one of them like yours.
Don’t feel bad. Enjoy your relationship with your brother and don’t let anybody tell you it needs to be different. Ever.
And don’t apologize to her, or at most apologize for using the word “ridiculous” (though it was a perfect descriptor for her behavior). Do not apologize for letting your brother do your nails or for being offended that she got weirded out by it. This is a her issue that she needs to resolve. It doesn’t bode well for her or your brother’s relationship with her that she can’t see a previously-goth brother doing his sister’s nails without pouting and withdrawing.
I highly doubt that they’ll last as a happy couple if this is the way she behaves and thinks. I hope your brother dodges that bullet before it explodes in his face.
Umm.. did he ask before just getting up and getting the nail polish? That part seems weird to me