Are you worried about not having relationship or sexual experience at 28? Seeking advice on overcoming feelings of being a loser?
Struggling with Lack of Relationship and Sexual Experience:
- Not having had a boyfriend or sex at 28
- Feeling like a loser due to lack of dating confidence
Dealing with Societal Pressures and Media Influence:
- Concerns about societal expectations around virginity and relationships
- Fear of being judged based on lack of dating experience
Approach to Dating and Romantic Relationships:
- Seeking serious relationships, avoiding casual sex
- Waiting for emotional connection before engaging in sexual activity
Current Efforts and Worries:
- Attending social events to meet potential partners
- Anxiety about aging and missing out on youth
- Concerns about being perceived as undesirable due to lack of experience
Mental Health Support:
- Currently receiving therapy and psychiatric assistance for anxiety and depression
- Struggling with suicidal thoughts related to relationship and sexual inexperience
#relationship #dating #sex #societalpressure #mentalhealth #datingadvice #selfesteem #youth #anxiety #depression
You’re not a loser by any means! Not to mention, the advantage of being a virgin is that it can help you avoid certain types of guys who see virginity being claimed as a prize. Plus there are a lot of men who see the lack of experience as a green flag. Don’t give up hope on finding someone, and don’t let the lack of dating experience and knowledge be a determining factor on how you perceive yourself.
You are so not a loser. I wish I had waited for meaningful emotional connections instead of the casual sexual encounters of my past. There will be someone who is so excited to get to know you and be with you, regardless of your past experience. Hang in there.
I can understand wanting something you never experienced but it’s really not all that special. You won’t believe me until you experience it then you’ll see that you could have lived without it.
No you’re not a loser – I’m a 23F who’s never been in a committed relationship because guys didnt want to commit and have had lots of sex and now I’m a single mom. Lol.
At least you’re not used and left facing things alone
Is the Grand Canyon a loser for not having 300 foot tall redwood trees? Is the Mariana Trench a loser for being underwater instead of on land where people can admire it? Is the cottontail bunny nibbling outside my window a loser for not being a bigger, faster jackrabbit?
You are you, and it’s a miracle you’re here. It sounds like you’re doing the mental and emotional work to get to a place where you can be happy, open, and supportive in a relationship. While there aren’t any real guarantees in life, the steps you’re taking give you a great chance of finding what you’re seeking.
Definitely don’t feel suicidal. You’ve chosen a path others couldn’t have walked. Expect to be alone until you find someone who also walks that path.
You’re fine.
I’m glad you’re making an effort to date and look for people.
I’m very very happy that you haven’t caved and gone for some guy just because of loneliness and desperation.
Be patient and keep your self-esteem. You’ll find someone who loves and cares for you for you. Just keep looking and exploring.
If you were a guy it would be bad. You’re fine, if I had to guess statistically it’s probably a plus tbh.
It’s only a bad thing when you’re a guy. A guy wouldn’t judge you for it, maybe some mean-girls would, but a guy wouldn’t. Plus sex won’t make you feel better, companionship will. Thats probably what you really feel bad about, so go out and meet different people until you find one that’s special to you.
It’s not a red flag at all. I failed to land any good matches that resulted in LTRs until much later in life, but I don’t regret having high standards and self-respect. I don’t regret the pain of isolation either because the one time I compromised being true to myself, the resulting high of being in a gratifying relationship was nullified by not being able to be me and the resulting therapy required to bounce back.
You have to completely ditch the notion that you’re behind. You’re not. You’re not!! Focus on action, and never say “yes” to a bad match out of desperation it will only work against you, but don’t beat yourself up if you fail.
No you are not a loser. It’s your body and you have every right to make every decision for it. Period.
Also on the other side, sex is not that big of a deal as well. It is as much a part of a human ‘being’ as eating, shitting and sleeping.
Unfortunately, due to so much conditioning around sex makes it a psychological thing while it’s related to our body and energies.
I would ask you just released this sexual tension via healthy ways and keep on searching for your version of ‘perfect partners’.
Ugh, I could have wrote the same thing. Except I don’t have a good career, money, or education which is why I haven’t really dated much. I want to work on myself and achieve those things first. I have a lot of the same feelings you do though.
You’re not a loser, for context I’m 25M and have never held hands with a girl – also dealing with anxiety like you but for other reasons. As long as you are making progress in at least ONE area of your life you’re doing just fine – it’s a marathon not a race, taking it slow is a tactical decision. Something that has helped me is asking myself about my motivations, e.g. what do I really want and why do I want them? Writing and making a list of my priorities in life/narrowing them down to the most important has helped a lot to put my life and my choices in perspective.
Personally, I don’t know if I believe in a “special someone”, let’s say I’m only compatible with 1% of all girls (girls that I like and who would like me back) – that leaves 10 million English speaking women I could hit it off and be happy with. Even for a picky dater, there are likely hundreds of thousands/millions of potential suitors out there, meeting them is a combination of a numbers game and a little bit of luck.
I’ve also come to a personal realization that celibacy is a wholesome thing – lots of people who are angry/despair over their lack of success dating don’t even understand WHAT they actually want (and many of them also engage in unhealthy forms of coping/escapism like pornography/erotic novels – so stay clear of that stuff if you’re engaging in any of that). Letting go of the (dangerous) idea that I need someone else to be happy has helped me a lot – embrace your virginity, it rocks 😀
You talking to a therapist/psychiatrist shows that you are already taking the most important step which is improving YOUR OWN HEALTH+SANITY over chasing a relationship. As you know relationships are 50/50, if you are out of whack, any relationship will also suffer. If you are able to find peace/happiness within your own self instead of things external and out of your control (like other people), that will be a superpower that will literally carry you through life. On the flip side, if you base your own happiness on the external world/finding a mate – you’re making yourself liable to a world of hurt cause things always change (especially feelings).
Also, if you really are worried about finding romance as you get older, don’t – most eligible bachelors prefer older women (and you wouldn’t want to date the ones that don’t anyways)
Please don’t entertain suicidal feelings, it won’t fix your problems – it’ll only make them permanent.
The only one in life you are in a race with is yourself so stop comparing yourself to the world. I’m sure you’re a great person it’s best to work on yourself before trying to be in a relationship because even if the other person is great the baggage you bring into the relationship will ruin it. Keep your head up, keep moving forward, live your best life, and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
Just go to a country western bar lol!
Don’t tell anyone your sexual (in)experience. There are certain things that are ok to keep private.
Yep.
You’re not a loser, you’re fineee! 🫶🏻
No. Not at all.
Loser is harsh but you definitely have issues. Find some friends. Hang out. If you like someone share your situation and ask if they might take it slow ….
You are going to make a guy very happy one day.
No you are a diamond in the rough. No guy cares if you haven’t had sex, majority of guys would love to marry a girl that hasn’t been with many or any sexual partners. Just start moving forward with meeting people and going on dates. Do not rush into having sex!
Yes
No you’re not a loser
Please keep doing what you are doing and your future partner will greatly appreciate that! Having sex before forming a strong connection will not magically solve your goal, so keep trying.
This is a copy pasta at this point
Hey OP there are plenty of male
Incels on the internet who could help you not be a loser with your sexual experience problems.
Times ticking find your love and keep your head up