“Is my concern valid if my girlfriend’s ex-husband is moving in due to financial issues? Is this a breakup situation? What should I do? #relationshipadvice #exhusband #financialissues #breakup #concernvalidity
If you’re in a similar situation, you may be feeling a mix of emotions. Let’s break down your concerns so you can navigate this tricky situation with clarity and confidence.
### Validity of Concern
Is It Normal to Feel Insecure?
– Feeling insecure in this situation is completely normal and valid. It’s natural to feel a bit apprehensive when your partner’s ex is moving in with them.
– Trust your instincts and understand that your feelings are valid, no matter what anyone else says.
– Communication with your girlfriend is key. Talk openly and honestly about your concerns and try to understand her perspective as well.
Is It a Breakup Situation?
– While it’s a challenging situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a breakup. Every relationship is different, and it’s important to communicate openly to understand where both of you stand.
– Discuss boundaries and expectations with your girlfriend regarding her ex-husband living with her. It’s crucial to set clear boundaries to protect your relationship and your feelings.
#### Moving Forward
Seeking Support
If your concerns persist and you’re struggling to cope, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools to process your emotions and navigate this challenging situation.
Self-Care
Focus on self-care during this time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Taking care of yourself is crucial, especially during tough times.
Remember, every relationship has its challenges, and communication is key to navigating them. Keep an open dialogue with your girlfriend and work together to address your concerns and move forward in a healthy and supportive way.”
If you want to part ways, part ways.
You don’t need to give a reason for a break up. Better than resentment and insecurity
If she were emotionally invested in you (more than him), she would have talked to you before offering him cozy arrangements, and respected your feelings.
Take an indefinite break…
Nothing is stopping you from walking away
Personally I think it’s too weird for an ex husband to want to move in with their ex wife for an indefinite amount of time and it is weird that your girlfriend is ok with this. She should have at least run it by you.
You’re not overreacting. Friendly contact with an ex with an intimate history is a red flag, his moving in is a mountain of flags. Add alcohol and/or a fight with you and infidelity is definitely possible. You need to set the boundary and split up if she refuses. By the way, she should define her responsibility to any ex. It’s zero.
That’s a deal breaker no effin way. The truth is and will continue to come out in cribs and drabs. First a couple days now indefinitely. Next they’re affectionate (having sex like bunnies) then they ask you for money, etc., Break up and let her go, it’s a total shit show of disrespect and lack of consideration. At least your not married or moved in so a clean break is easier, sorry
I would definitely break up with her. Normal, well adjusted people, don’t do this to their bf’s. She’s treating you like the side piece.
Hell no to indefinitely. Her obligation is to her kids, not her ex. I’d break up bc who knows what she may suggest in the future
> he has forced himself on her once
So am I the only one who noticed this little bit? That the guy has raped her in the past?
That casts their relationship in a whole ‘nuther light. I’d be upset too, but I’d probably be more upset that she was putting herself in the way of a known sexual aggressor, not so much that she’d cheat or go back to him. There’s a dynamic at work in her relationship with her ex that adds the possibility that she’s considering letting him move in because she’s scared of him on some level. I would seriously be worried he’d assault her again.
I’d probably make a worry for her safety the main priority, and express concerns and feelings about it from that POV. Ultimately she’ll decide what she wants to do, and then you can go from there.
Yeah id be out. Theres a lot about this post thats unfortunate but it speaks badly about where you both are in this relationship that you would say youre afraid that hed force himself on her and that you are worried that she wouldnt tell you. So much wrong here. Time to move on
Updateme!
It’s time to break up. Even if she is completely innocent, she’s in a messy situation that you don’t want to be attached to.
Plus he raped her in the past- according to her which means 2 unstable adults with children under the same roof.
Yeah, break up.
Your thoughts are valid. There is no chance I’d be with anyone living with the ex.
She’s letting the guy that raped her move in with her? Run.
Dump her.
Are you sure his parents kicked out, or is it possible he’s lying to gain sympathy?
Ummm, no
This is a trial cohabitation. Seeing how well they’d get along again to see if it’s worth restarting the relationship.
If you’re put in a position where you’re constantly worried about trust issues, that’s probably a sign this relationship isn’t for you. Find someone without all the drama.
You’re not overreacting but you’ve been together 8 months and she was married to this guy and has his kids. I’d say the unfortunate reality is that for the foreseeable future she will always put him ahead of you and you’ll need to decide if you can cope with it or not (not saying that unkindly – I know I’d be out)
Why are u even asking this question. What the hell is wrong with you men. Dump her.
Take a break. This is just wrong on so many levels. Ask her how she would feel if your ex asked to move in with indefinitely, bet she would not be so accommodating
I would be outta there so fast it would make the road signs spin around like it’s Looney Tunes….
A warning. This happened to me. His ex was getting kicked out and needed a place to stay until she found another one. They have a kid together. He felt bad and said yes. She found out about me and never left and he couldn’t afford another apartment.
It’s inappropriate
Your GF is an adult.
She is responsible for her own decisions.
Any Man or woman having an Ex live with them for any amount of time would be an issue, for the other partner.
If she decides to go down this road, just believe that she has considered how you would feel. Her final decision will show you how she values your relationship.
If she decides to let her Ex move in, you can simply tell your GF you need a break from the relationship. You don’t have to offer any more of an explanation or timeline.
Part ways she is probably still banging him, it will be worse if he moves in, he wont move out. He sounds like a loser
The fact that she agreed to it without even talking to you first would definitely be breakup-worthy for me.
Dude just cut your losses. I can understand if she said he had to stay there during the weekend because of the kids and she’ll stay with you so he can get his parenting time but is a hard no. Agrown ass man with kids got kicked out of his parents house for a reason. Don’t stick around to find out why
This is a weird situation and I wouldn’t put up with it. Good luck
Dump her. Cheating on you
Can she stay with you while he’s there? Or maybe you can sleep over when he’s there?
Leave her. I’d give my ex a box and an umbrella before I let him step foot in my house, and he never even tried to sexually assault me. If it’s really just for a few days, he can rent a hotel room or stay with a friend. The fact that he’s going straight to your girlfriend is shady as fuck.
My best friend’s ex wife moved in “for a few weeks” because she was about to be homeless. That was a year ago. Just food for thought.
Break up there’s no point in prolonging this train wreck
Break up with her, unless you enjoy sharing her with her ex husband. This relationship is done. UpdateMe!
Spare yourself the headache and future stress and just end it now. This is completely not normal behavior.
End it and be glad its a GF and not a wife. I wouldn’t put up with this drama.
Ya I’d break up with her
Um, the fact that she’s even considering allowing a man who is a sexual predator to live with her is troubling and indicative of a woman who “isn’t all there” in the head. You wanna be with someone who make questionable choices?
I’d lay it out for her clearly first.
“I understand why you want to do this, but it’s important for you to know that if he moves in, that’s the end of us.”
If she moves him in after that, she has made her choice.
Run homie. Run as far and as fast as you can. I’m still reeling from a very similar situation. No move-in but just an overall complete inability to set boundaries with an ex husband.
Your only option is to insist, here and now, on hard boundaries with the ex, including no moving in. If she’s on board, great, if not, walk. Yes it’s an ultimatum. They’re not inherently evil like some people would make them out to be.
Offer to let him stay with you
Tell her you cannot control her decision making process, but you CAN decide to no longer be with her for any reason whatsoever.
Then you hand her all of her shit.
So your soon to be ex gf is going to live with her ex husband and baby daddy. Read that again. Dude just end it.
Nah. If she was so in love with the man she woulda never divorced. Some couples just have this bond. So when one is down and out . They will do what they can for them
If the guy has forced himself on her and she still feels like being his roommate for an indefinite amount of time, then I’m sorry to break it to you, you’re not a number 1 priority in her life.
She didn’t check with you first and she isn’t making sure you feel comfortable with the situation even after the fact. She actually did the switcharoo, with the “Don’t you trust me”.
She needs therapy, I get the guy is the father to her kids, but a man who attempted to rape her, shouldn’t be let inside her home as a welcomed guest. Massive red flag.
A break seems like a good idea and if it leads to a break-up then that’s unfortunate, but better that, than constantly feeling insecure about what happens in that house.
Since they are on again, off again and given the fact that she slept with him only a month before you we’re together would give me an insecure feeling too. I wouldn’t be open to their living arrangement. She didn’t even bother talking about it with you first. They have children together which means they will be a cozy little family for a while (probably longer). Just walk away and let her do what she needs to do. It’s better it happens now rather than later down the line.