#TripTrouble: My Fiance (24M) is trying to back out of a trip I (22F) paid for last-minute. 😒 Is his behavior as disrespectful as I feel it is? 🤔
Hey everyone, I need your opinion on this sticky situation I’m in! So, my Fiance has been unemployed for a while and I generously paid for a weekend trip we had planned together. But now, just a few days before we leave, he’s suddenly not so sure about going. 😑
I’ve tried talking to him about how it hurts my feelings when he backs out of plans last minute, especially when I’ve already paid for everything. But he doesn’t seem to get it! 😫
Do you think his behavior is disrespectful or am I overreacting? Let me know your thoughts, I need some advice on how to handle this situation! 💬✨
#RelationshipDrama #UnemployedStruggles #LastMinuteChange #RespectIssue #NeedAdvice
leave him at home and go have fun. my ex use to do this and it drove me nuts
He doesn’t care that this is disrespectful to you. There are magic words that will make a disrespectful person see the error of their ways.
He’s done it before and will keep doing it. He doesn’t care if it’s disrespectful to you. Leave him and date somebody that respects your time and money.
And yet he is somehow still your fiance.
Does he suffer from “indecisive” syndrome? Sounds like everything he backs out from was from a decision he wasn’t sure with. And any little pressure may push him to become indecisive with his commitment.Â
This begs the question regarding you personally. Are you someone he will back out from? What about your child one day? What about backing out on your children’s plays, doctor visits, sports, extracurricular activity, and yours as well?
It was a shitty thing to do to you. You deserve better.
However:
>He has a long history of doing things like this, making plans with me and then backs out just before.
You know that’s who he is and what he does. You were not kind to yourself when you expected things to go differently.
In the realm of what you yourself can control, you can accept that your fiancé flakes on shit at the last minute and incorporate that information into your plans, or you can decide that’s a dealbreaker and break up with him. There’s no scenario where something you do fixes a problem he doesn’t agree that he has and isn’t interested in changing.
He seems like a selfish idiot why are you even with him if he has this pattern
Your boy is going through a lot, i would guess he is depressed about the whole thing, that said the time away would probably benefit his mental health.
This isn’t about you, stop making it about you.
You go, let him know you are going, and tell him if at any point he changes his mind, he is more than welcome to come.
Is your marriage another commitment he will agree to and then back out?
I think I’d have a serious talk with him about how this makes you feel. Is he aware why he does it? Is he willing to work on those reasons why so he’s better at not backing out on things in the future? Is there a pattern to what he backs out of or is it everything? Has this gotten worse since he’s been unemployed? It could be a number of reasons but I think your best bet is to try to help him understand that you want to work on this with him, to help him be able to commit to things he’s agreed to. If he doesn’t want to change and can’t see why this is making your life difficult then the choice if up to you to decide of this is something you can accept in the man you’re choosing to spend the rest of your life with.
I have a friend who does this, we will make plans etc just for her last minute to cancel.
What makes it more irritating is when she tries to make plans with me and she’ll try and schedule it 4 months in advance and then she cancels that to in a span of 24 hours LMFAO.
There’s a reason why we don’t invite her to things, and she has the nerve to be upset and complain no one wants to hangout with her, like yah no shit
Go without him. My husband has a thing of canceling things sometimes. Probably about 25% of the time we change our plans because of him. Right now we have a reservation for a cruise and he’s like what’s the cancellation policy? I’m like we can cancel up to a certain point but I’m not going to let him weasel out of it. But if he cancels and says he doesn’t want to go after the point where we can’t get a refund I’ll just go without him and if I have to I’ll change the reservation to one of my kids and the two of us will go instead.
He doesn’t care about your feelings and always backs out of things. Think about that. Why would you marry someone like that? Have some self worth and cut it off.
This guy is gaslighting you! What he did and has been doing by cancelling plans last minute is absolutely disrespectful! He is showing you he doesn’t value time with you and will easily pass up time with you to do something else. You are young! Stop wasting time with this loser who tries to gas light you when he messed up!
He lost his chance, tell him he is uninvited and honestly who cares if his feelings are hurt. You mention he does this all the time & you have communicated that it hurts your feelings too. He made his decision. Go and have fun with your parents !! & maybe find a girlfriend to do things with. Sad but oh well . I’m sorry girl.
You sure he won’t back out last minute on your wedding day? This would be annoying as hell. UPDATEME
You say he does this all the time, so I guess my question is “why the hell are you still putting up with it”?
I’m 62 and I’ve been married and divorced twice. The amount of crap younger women put up with from their so called fiancees is absolutely mindblowing to me.
Why are you with someone that plays these emotional games with you? He repeatedly says he will go places and then backs out at the last minute leaving you looking stupid cuz you told people he was going. You know he’s doing this on purpose because it’s a pattern! He simply doesn’t care to honor his commitments.Â
I wonder what else he does that with in life?
It’s just a manipulation tactic. Just letting you know he is the one who has control. This one is not bf material
If he does things like this repeatedly, why believe his words when you invite him? Why stay with him?
Go on the trip by yourself and ask if that’s what you want for the rest of your life.
He doesn’t want to go. He’s going to make sure there’s a fight and he doesn’t have to go. You go anyway. Have fun. This man isn’t the end all be all you think he is.
Hugs, love yourself more than him. Ho on vacation and leave him behind. Â
>He has a long history of doing things like this,
Why are you still with this flake?
> I don’t understand how to make him see how disrespectful this is to me.
He knows, he just doesn’t care.
Paid***** for.