Is my 24-year-old girlfriend lying about cheating on me (29M) when we both contracted chlamydia? #relationshipdrama #cheating #chlamydia
The Situation
My girlfriend is denying that she cheated on me despite us both testing positive for chlamydia. Should I believe her?
Looking for Clues
1. Have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about the situation.
2. Consider getting more information from healthcare professionals about the transmission of chlamydia.
3. Trust your instincts and any evidence that may suggest infidelity.
Conclusion
Before jumping to conclusions, gather all the facts and communicate openly with your girlfriend to determine the truth behind the situation. Trust your judgment and seek support if needed.
A pap smear does not test for STDs. Perhaps she had an STD panel done on top of her routine checkup.
If she only had a pap done at her appointment before you guys started dating, it’s possible she’s had it since then. It’s also possible that you had it prior to getting together. Im pretty sure not every case is immediately and/or always symptomatic, but you’d have to double-check that.
When was the last time you were tested? And have you slept with anyone before your relationship with her? Did you get tested every time after being with the previous person? And then 3 months after?
Yes, chlamydia can lay dormant in your system for several years. Does that mean she wasn’t cheating on you probably. I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it because it is completely likely that one or both of you already had it before you got together. However, I would get a full panel for all STDs in case she has been cheating on you.
When last time you and her were actually tested?
Have both of you got std tested before going without condoms?
Chlamydia [can be dormant](https://yoursexualhealth.co.uk/blog/how-long-can-chlamydia-lay-dormant/) in the body for several years without any flare-up to trigger a symptomatic infection. This means a person could live with Chlamydia for many years without knowing because the typical symptoms don’t appear. The Center for Disease Control estimates that 50% of men and 75% of women have Chlamydia. In addition, 40% to 96% of people with Chlamydia show no symptoms of this disease. Please tread carefully with any accusations to your GF. Either of you or both could have had it way before your relationship.
Whens the last time either of you got tested? Have either of you, until this point, been tested in this relationship?
The weird thing is that she just randomly got an std test after supposedly only being with you the last 3 years. A routine Pap smear does not include an std test. You have to ask for one and it’s done with a separate swab.
It’s the fucking koala!!!!!
So … chlamydia actually can be dormant for years.. mostly in men though. And they typically find out because their female partners get it and end up showing symptoms lol my friend who’s a sexual health nurse talks about this a lot. My question would be to consider if you’ve actually had it for a while. I know that’s not the answer you want to hear but have to consider that if you have never tested prior to the relationship it could equally be you. I know people who had it dormant for years (as in had sex and went without sex for years and had it) It’s not BS or a liability issue.
Did either of you get tested before you became intimate? It’s actually prettt common for men to be completely symptom free, and unfortunately a lot of women don’t even know what to watch for because our healthcare system sucks and so does our sex ed.
Not sure if this helps but I got STD testing after I was SA in 2019. turned out they didn’t do ALL STD testing at the time. So 2020 comes and im in a new relationship (first person im with after that incident) and retest myself. I had a STD. It wasn’t my partner because his test was negative. So maybe possible her past check ups didn’t include all STD testing??
Since y’all are asymptomatic it probably came from a previous relationship of one of yalls. After all, women only get Pap smears every 3 years (your relationship has been only 3 years) so that would check out if both of y’all are being honest. I know a couple that also were asymptomatic and it turns out that it came from one of their past relationships. But one of them had it for years before the couple even met and didn’t know it because they didn’t have symptoms. So it took longer to treat it, it didn’t go away with the one dose of meds so that sparked an argument. But after the stronger dose it’s stayed gone. Neither of them cheated.
This happened with my bf and I. I never cheated but now we both have this disease (different then yours)and he blames me. It sucks dude, cause it can be dormant for years so it could have been either person, no one will ever know. Yet I’m still at fault and we just don’t talk about it anymore.
Dont jump to the cheating conclusion my friend had chlamydia that had been dormant in her for 2 years! It is very possible it has been sitting with her for that long.
Chlamydia is usually symptomless, and can be for years. She might not have accused you of anything because she’s more informed about STDs than you.
Obviously neither of you bothered getting tested and discussing your results at the beginning of your relationship or any time in the last three years, or you would’ve mentioned it, and there would be no ambiguity here.
So you do not know if either of you had chlamydia when you started this relationship. Which means either of you could have been infected before you got together.
Without other evidence of cheating, you should assume that this STI predates you getting together and not blow up a three year relationship over something that could have just as easily been passed on to her by you.
Lol if you haven’t been tested in three years or near the time where you became monogamous, who’s to say *you* aren’t the one that gave it to *her*..
You posted this yesterday, too. Hoping for different answers today?
It’s totally possible it’s been dormant in either one of u. Before u go off the handle and start accusing, just know it’s completely valid that one of u had it for a while and didn’t know.
Go talk to your doctor but from what I understand with chlamydia it can be in your body for years before you actually get it. So it’s quite possible and you’ve had it for a long time and didn’t know it and you have an outbreak of it and you gave it to her or that happened with her and she gave it to you and no one cheated on anyone. But I think that’s it like the only STD that this is possible. But I’m no doctor that’s just what I understood it doesn’t mean it’s correct though.
Some STDs can remain dormant for YEARS, and some don’t even have obvious symptoms. If you were tested before incubation period ended, a positive result wouldn’t show up. So it’s possible that either of you had it and didn’t know.
After an exposure to HIV at work (psych hospital, patients were fighting and blood ended up all over my face, including my eyes and mouth), I was told it could be up to ten years. Some people don’t even know they have it until their immune system is too weak to fight anything.
Also, STD panels don’t test for all. You have to specifically ask for some of them to be tested for. There’s also false-negatives and false-positives.
Chlamydia has an antibody test that lets you know if you’ve been recently infected or if you’ve been infected in the past. Do both.
Men can have an STD for years without symptoms. When were you last tested OP? My first boyfriend gave me an STD (I was a virgin before we got together), he definitely gave it to me. He had no symptoms. My doctor told me to tell him to get tested and he was positive. I was pretty annoyed but it went away with meds. You definitely could have been infected but with no symptoms so you’d never suspect you had it.
What I’ve always tried to do is get tested immediately before a new partner so you know what the sitch is. I’ve never had more than one partner at a time and during long term relationships I get tested every year just to see. Unless you are regularly getting tested or someone is showing you their test results and the dates there’s really no way of being able to pinpoint it like that.
It depends. How long before you guys got together did she have an STD check? If you are both asymptomatic and her check up was some time before you got together then she could have contracted it between getting her last test and you getting together. Speaking to the same conclusion, when was your last STI test? It may be that it was you who gave it to her. Depending on the timing of the tests and whether you’d been sexually active between then and getting together it could be that either of you could have got it and passed it to the other without any cheating etc.
Moral of the story: wrap it up dude!
It can lay dormant for years before appearing. This is why you get tested when starting a relationship.
chlamydia can lay dormant for several years.
Well seeing as men are usually symptom free it could have been you when’s the last time you got tested after your partner?
Do you live in or been to Australia in the last 3 years and have you petted any koala’s?
It is very possible she is telling the truth.
I believe it lies dormant for some time? If so then it definitely could’ve been a previous partner?
My wife had chlamydia and we only found out when she was getting tested before surgery for stage 4 cancer. There is no possible way my wife cheated on me as we were raising 2 small kids and were both at home working and taking care of the kids. Plus my wife is old fashioned Japanese girl. But sometime 10+ year earlier she got it. I was a BUddhist monk before I got married so I knew it was not me. It is common for chlamydia to go dormant and flair up during stressful times.
when was the last time you were tested
We didn’t know we had it until I got tested during pregnancy. Never once did either of us assume the other cheated.
What is chlamydia’s nickname? The silent friend or the invisible buddy. Lots of people have chlamydia dormant in their bodies, like shingles and stress will make that pop. So I’d be extremely careful with the finger-pointing. Until you’re super certain.
Let it go! There is no way to really tell who gave it to who at this point. This is why before you start having sex with someone without a condom you should both get tested. Just because things can’t readily kill you like they use to they can still cause infertility, cancer, and a whole host of other health issues. Be grown ups and get tested to protect yourself and others and so you don’t run into something this dumb again!
You could have been carrying it for God knows how long before you met your gf. It is not highly unlikely. A lot of times men are asymptomatic.
I wouldn’t go blaming your gf is she’s been trustworthy up to now.
Did you guys have a test prior to dating? Either person have a positive test ?
You admit you’ve had previous sexual partners and never been tested. It’s probably you. And you’re only replying to people thinking she cheated because you don’t want to own up to that possibility after putting it on her.
Most women have no symptoms until they’re trying to get pregnant and can’t. Only to find out it’s the chlamydia.