#RelationshipDrama: Two fights in a week – involving my ex wife – is my relationship doomed? 🤔
Hey there friends! So, let me paint you a little picture of my current dilemma. The first fight with my girlfriend involved a school playground, profanity, and my ex wife needing help to move some stuff. The second argument happened when my ex mentioned she would be at the same event as my girlfriend and me. Drama, drama, drama!
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. My ex is a certified hot mess – abusive, drunk, fist fights with her mom, the whole shebang. My girlfriend, understandably, despises her and doesn’t want her anywhere near us. And to top it off, my girlfriend has had her own share of manipulative and abusive exes.
I love my girlfriend, I really do. But all this emotional baggage from both sides is starting to take a toll on me. Should I work harder to set boundaries with my ex, or should I take a step back and simplify my life for a bit? Help a brother out here! đź’”
So, what do you think? Should I stay and fight for this relationship, or should I throw in the towel and enjoy the single life for a while? Cast your vote below and let’s figure this out together! 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #RelationshipAdvice #ToxicEx #GirlfriendDrama #HelpMeOut
> . My gf legitimately hates my ex and doesn’t not want her to be anywhere near us. Her last husband’s first wife was also manipulative and abusive.
Despite being a toxic person, this woman is still the mum of your kid….. does she have supervised custody? Does she respect the agreement? Is she in therapy/treatment for her issues to provide a safe environment for the kid? Are you communicating through a parenting app?
How long have you and your gf been dating? How much has happened in the past for her to react this way?
Not yet time to move on buddy.
Apparently you live in the same town as your ex, and you will run into her from time to time. Your wife has to go over it and should be able to at least be near her.
However, an abusive jealous girl, is not way better that an abusive drunk.
Work on yourself also, to include your wife earlier when anything includes your ex, but I would continue fighting over it because she’s still the mother of your child and you’ll have to have some kind of relationship with her and you broke up with her, you’re not flirting or anything.
Dude, you are terrible at picking women. This one sounds like she has a supremely short fuse.
As a business owner, I’m sure you have your share of stresses plus you are a single dad. Remember, if she isn’t bringing you peace at home, she is useless to you in a relationship.
You get that your girlfriend is abusive too, right?
My husband and I are your age and both previously in long-term term marriages. However, we are child free by choice. My ex-husband didn’t want children until he did…it was an amicable divorce. We parted as old friends. Since we didn’t have children, it was an easy split.
I found myself single at 40 yrs old. I knew that if I was in a relationship with a man who had children, it wouldn’t be fair to the children. I have no interest in being a parent to my own children. I can’t imagine being involved in co-parenting someone elses. I love kids… but not enough to deal with an ex-wife.
She has to accept that you have a past. You have children, and they come first. She’s has to accept that their mother will be at all of the children’s functions and milestone events… including adulthood like weddings and baby showers. You will be assisting your ex-wife now and then… It’s going to happen because it’s in your children’s best interest! Besides the fact her stuff is at your house. My ex-husband stored things at my house until I remarried. We were together 20 yrs… we had a lot of shit. Your gf is way too old to not know these things.
I’m curious does she have children? If so, what is her co-parenting relationship like? She has very little insight and empathy for her age. Your ex-wife is in a bad place right now… I don’t understand why your gf is so threatened by her.
You seem to have traded one abusive relationship for another. Your gf, who is 45 and should know better, yells obscenities in front of children. She loses it because your ex will be in the same public space. Is this fun for you? Do you really think this is a person who should be around your child who’s already been through the wringer?
Do NOT let your gf move in. In fact, you should probably break up with her. Kindly, stay single for a while and get some therapy for you and your child. Figure out why you like to be with women who are, for lack of a better word, not very stable.
You need to be single for a while.
 Your child and their mother will be a part of your life forever. Â
 Unless you dont want to attend your child’s college graduation, wedding, birth of your grandchildren or any other milestone event that occurs after they turn 18.Â
  Helping your ex move sets a good co-parenting example for your child. Once again, the mother of your child will be in your life forever. It does no one any good to be antagonistic and unhelpful.Â
  Your ex gave you a heads up that she would be at an event. That was her being courteous. Your ex does not need to decline invites because you and your gf will be at the same event. Your gf can decline if she is uncomfortable. Â
Honestly your gf seems a little unhinged/very insecure with her reactions.Â
In these instances, your GF is the problem. Both of you could use individual therapy as your past experiences make it harder to see what’s happening.
Helping your ex move things is good for your son to see so long as your ex is doing better. When possible, it’s good for your kid to see his parents peaceful with each other. The event thing was also unreasonable. You can’t ban your ex from a public space because it makes your GF anxious.
If your GF can’t get a grip, then yes you’ll need to move on.
Your girlfriend’s decision to go full Jerry Springer on a playground was totally out of line. But maybe next time, run it by your girlfriend before you play moving man for your ex-wife who, by your own admission, comes with more baggage than an airport carousel.
So you left your ex because she was an abusive drunk… but are still doing favors for her? Buddy, I’m with your girlfriend on this one. If she wants to move something from your house to hers, she can do it herself with her own means. What kind of man in a committed relationship is always rushing to the aid of his former abuser? That’s just crazy to me.
I dated, and eventually married, a man who had children and an ex-wife. While I didn’t care for the woman in the beginning, she was the boys’ mother. She was going to be at all the school events. She was going to be calling my guy to talk about things with the kids. She wasn’t ever going to just disappear.
You know how I handled it? I learned to deal with it. This woman was no threat to me. They were divorced for *reasons*. My guy came as a package with his children, and their mom was part of the package. I learned how to accept her, and respect her, and treat her civilly, and eventually welcome her presence.
Your GF is doing none of those things. She is abusing you in the process. That would have been a deal breaker for my husband, and I think it should be a deal breaker for you. You deserve better – and your kid deserves better!!! Think about how this all must make your child feel, to see you screamed at just because he has a mother. Seriously.
Unpopular opinion: I am assuming you’ve been with your gf a while, but you didn’t mention it. I think she’s exploding now bc of your lack of boundaries spanning the entire relarionship. OP, she is sick of your ex- your ex has no reason to be in your lives at all. You have sole custody even. It is reasonable your gf doesn’t want you to do favors for your AH ex wife, or be around someone as bad as what you’re saying.
Was she wrong for exploding? Of course- but being a gf constantly watching your man cater to the ex gets to be a little much- I believe that’s the case here to elicit such a strong reaction . Correct me if I’m wrong? You have never have an argument about boundaries before ?
Watch your relationship flourish when you leave your ex in the dust where she belongs.
Maybe set boundaries with ex first see how it goes I do see what you’re gf is upset ex can find someone else to move her stuff that’s not your responsibility also she could be thinking your ex going to the same places as you as her trying to start stuff in your relationship
She is just as bad as your ex. She has the audacity to scream and yell at you for even speaking or seeing your ex at an event bc you didn’t talk to her about it. On the playground, come on. She isn’t going to get better bc you will have to deal with your ex for the next 9 years.
Every time your ex’s name is mentioned, she is going to freak out and yell and scream that you are inconsiderate. Damn you are with her, and not your ex isn’t that enough? Also, is your son around when she unloads?
Please think about the next 9 years and if this is the woman you want to be your son’s SM. She seems to be the one who is going to talk crap about your ex within your son’s earshot. Think about it!