#StepdadClaimingSonIsHisBiological #ConfusionBalletClass #ExSidingWithStepdad
Hey everyone, so I need your opinion on something that just happened. So, I took my son Sasha to his ballet class last weekend, and to my surprise, some parents there thought I was his stepdad. Apparently, his stepdad Todd has been telling people that Sasha is his biological son! 🤯
I know, right? I was absolutely baffled. I mean, how does this even come up in conversation? 🤷♂️ And to make matters worse, when I called my ex to tell her about it, she actually said she thought it was a good thing. Like, what? 🤨
I just can’t wrap my head around it. I feel like Todd claiming Sasha as his own is not only bizarre but also disrespectful to me as Sasha’s dad. I mean, I have full custody according to the family arrangement order, so technically, I shouldn’t have to deal with this nonsense.
What do you guys think? Am I overreacting here, or is this situation just as strange as I feel it is? Let me know in the comments! 💬 #StepdadDrama #BiologicalSonDebate
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! 🤔
Definitely weird. But it’s not like your son doesn’t know which is which. It just indicates that your ex and her husband are nut jobs.
As a stepmom, I can’t imagine overstepping like that. When my husband was deployed for a year and I had the kids full time, many people asked if I was mom but just said nope, stepmom. 🤷♀️
Keep an eye on your son. Don’t quiz him but be careful. It may be his mum and Todd are trying to cancel you and gradually convince your son not to stay with you so they can play happy families. That’s why they didn’t want you going to the ballet class and spoiling the narrative.
This creeps me out.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my step-dad, so much so that I asked him to adopt me when I became an adult.
He doesn’t need to lie and pretend to be my bio-dad, and if he had, permanent damage would have been done to our relationship. I already had one.
It’s especially weird to me since you appear to be still alive and in the picture.
Funny. I just found an Instagram with this same story only the genders were reversed…
This creeps me out.
But also, why do you have full custody of your son in which she has no visitation rights? Either she is a bad person who couldn’t get custody or something else weird is going on.
If she’s not a bad person and wants custody, she should go through the courts and get it eaten so she doesn’t need permission from you.
NO! That is not okay at all. I would be speaking to a lawyer if I was you about this ASAP. Out-of-pocket and out of line 100%. This is a form of parental alienation.
It is as weird and as concerning as you think.
First I would have a private conversation with your son and find if your ex and Todd are pushing their “dad” agenda on him at all.
When they get back from vacation, I would go to ballet class with your son’s birth certificate and show the other parents in front of Todd. Say you brought it along to clear the air.
I would do it in front of the other parents AND Todd so Todd can’t deny it. Depending on how Todd reacts you can then take the conversation private or keep in front of witnesses.
That is super creepy. I’m a teacher and have dealt with all sorts of odd family dynamics over the decades. I’ve had a lot of “might-as-well-be-mine’s” but no one trying to claim a child with two living parents already. That seems like they are trying to push you out which would be alienation.
The kid doesn’t know, which at least means they aren’t trying to fill his head with that nonsense, but it is not in his best interest long term.
You may want to make sure he hasn’t tried to file any paperwork with doctors as such as the father.
Undereacted. Another man is claiming to be the father of your child and lying about who you are with the blessing of your ex.
Fuck that, you should be having words with him.
This is definitely concerning and I don’t have any advice for how to deal with your ex and her husband. But be sure your kid’s school and extracurriculars know that you are Sasha’s legal parent and that Todd is not authorized for pickups. Maybe contact medical providers too and put a code word on your kid’s info so Todd can’t call claiming to be Sasha’s father
Hard no.
Your ex-wife is disrespecting your title as his Father.
It is weird. Very much so. You should put that behaviour on file with your lawyer and / or the case worker of your custody agreement.
You should also make clear with the ballet studio that you are the actual father and the one with sole custody of your son in case something happens. Take the birth certificate and the custody agreement with you – it’s very likely that they have different things on file already.
Updateme
I think you should go to the next ballet class while Todd is there and make it clear to him, in front of the other parent’s, that you don’t appreciate him lying about your son’s parentage.
I don’t think reducing their time with your son after this is controlling, but smart. I would first try and talk with both your ex and Todd. I would ask him directly why he think’s it is okay to lie to people and essentially try and usurp your role. Anything short of an apology and him setting the record straight, I would reduce their time with your son. That is not okay, and it could be confusing for your son.
Barring disasters, children grow up. And they do so in the blink of an eye.
Untruths, abuses and neglectfulness that people believe they are inflicting upon a *child* are, in reality, imposed upon tomorrow’s adult.
Stick to your guns. Speak the truth. Tomorrow your adult child will ask why he was lied to.
> she told me he can say whatever he wants on *their* weekends.
NOPE, he most certainly cannot.
this could very well fall under “parental alienation”, consult your lawyer.
It’s weird
Start taking him every weekend, if they ask why tell them they cannot be trusted with telling the truth to others.
What if one of those parents call the police on you or something
NTA
You did not overreact. If your son likes ballet, then keep taking him but cut back on his time with his mom and her husband for a while.
Tell her you can bring baby pictures and a custody agreement for the next class if he continues and you’ll show up whether it’s your weekend or their allowed weekend.
Bring baby pictures next week and ask where Todd is? Ask why you were in the picture and Todd couldn’t be found in a picture until X age and that Todd is out trying to diminish your role in your son’s life.
Tell them next week you can show a custody agreement where the real dad has full custody and they only have every other weekend because you allow. Ask why a step dad would be granted that.
No more unsupervised visits.
This is parental alienation. Go back to court and have her visitation removed.
Have you spoken to the teachers at the ballet class? I don’t know how their process is but I’d make sure you’re the one they have as Sasha’s father in their records, same with any other places he takes your kid to often.
Him telling everyone he’s the bio dad and you’re just the stepdad is not only very creepy but severely disrespectful to you and a huge violation of basic boundaries. You mentioned in one of the comments Sasha didn’t know this was happening, how does he feel about it now that he knows?
I’m curious though, how come you have full custody and your ex has no visitation rights? Clearly there’s something weird going on her side and talking to a lawyer about this situation could be helpful. Better safe than sorry and again, stepfather’s comments are very creepy. I get you want your kid to have both parents in his life (assuming as per your “empty threat” comment) but it might be necessary to start considering supervised visits and a new arrangement where the creep is not allowed to take Sasha out on his own
No this is weird as hell and I’m getting bad vibe alerts
If you have a therapist I would ask for an appointment with all the adults to discuss why this is not ok for the child and why it must cease immediately. Also, who else has he told this lie to?
I would bet that step dad will be too embarrassed to take the boy to dance class or attempt to make you look like a liar. Since your kid loves the class please find a way for him to continue without step dad screwing it up. Honestly, he shouldn’t be alone with the kid until he apologizes and exhibits self reflection and sincere remorse.
Todd sounds creepy as fuck. If I were in your shoes, I’d stop letting my son be around him. Tell your ex that from now on, she gets supervised visitation only, and Todd is not welcome.
Missing his ballet classes puts him out of step (excuse me) with the other students. They put on dances, right? Everyone needs to be at class and rehearsals or it’s just an exercise class you could take at a gym.
This is weird. I’m a stepparent and would never disrespect my stepchild or their biological parent by saying that’s who I was. “He’s my stepson but I couldn’t love him more than if he was mine” sure, but to lie? Nope
Info… how does your son feel about this?
Personally I find it creepy
That’s super weird, please talk to your son and see if Todd is doing anything else. Honestly I can’t imagine that being the only time he’s told this lie, he probably also made your son go along with it which I think is a good reason to stop the visits.
That’s weird af.
You’re not overreacting. It’s really weird. Honestly, I’d be livid in your shoes.
When I was a kid, I loved my step-mom, and she treated me like one of her own (she had two biological children), but I would have been really weirded out if she ever claimed I was her biological kid. It would have also been ridiculously disrespectful to my actual biological mother.
But she’s not weird, so she would have never done that.
I’d be turning up at ballet every weekend.
You have every right to be weirded out, especially as the custodial parent
This is really weird and creepy thing to peddle to people. I think you should have an honest conversation with your son about how he feels about this. Also, show up to ballet on the ex’s weekend and establish your role as his actual biological dad. Maybe stepdad will be embarrassed enough to not keep spewing his creepy nonsense. I would seriously consider limiting their contact with your son, because I’d be saying this to school, doctors, etc.