#RelationshipIssues #LowSelfEsteem #BoyfriendComments #EmotionalWounds #Insecurities #SelfConfidence
Hey there! I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time right now and my heart goes out to you. It’s never easy to hear hurtful comments from someone you care about, especially when it comes to your appearance and self-worth.
Let’s break down your situation and provide some advice that might help you navigate through this difficult time.
**Clumsy Words and Hurtful Comments: Understanding Your Boyfriend’s Perspective**
First off, it’s important to acknowledge that your boyfriend seems to have a pattern of being “clumsy” with his words. From commenting on the attractiveness of other women to comparing you to a “sock”, it’s clear that his communication style can be hurtful and insensitive.
It’s also important to take into consideration that sometimes these comments come from a place of insecurity and not necessarily malice. Your boyfriend’s past experiences and self-doubt could be contributing to his thoughtless remarks.
**The Impact on Your Self-Confidence and Relationship**
These comments have understandably taken a toll on your self-esteem and have left you questioning the future of your relationship. It’s completely natural to feel hurt and upset in this situation, but it’s also important to remember that your worth is not determined by someone else’s words or opinions.
As for the future of your relationship, it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether you’re willing to work through these challenges together or if it’s best to part ways. However, before making any decisions, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend.
**Finding Hope and Healing: Steps to Consider**
1. Communicate: Schedule a time to sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart-to-heart conversation. Express how his words have deeply impacted you and discuss the future of your relationship.
2. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what kind of language and behavior is acceptable in your relationship. Let your boyfriend know that his comments about other women and hurtful comparisons are not okay.
3. Seek Support: Consider seeking out counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple. A professional can help both of you navigate through these challenges and work towards a healthier dynamic.
4. Self-Care: Focus on nurturing your own self-confidence and self-worth. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself and surround yourself with positive influences.
**Finding Strength in the Bhagavad Gita**
It’s interesting to note that the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Hindu scripture, offers valuable insights on self-worth, resilience, and the power of overcoming challenges. The teachings in the Bhagavad Gita can provide you with a sense of strength and guidance as you navigate through your current circumstances.
Remember, it’s okay to feel hurt and uncertain right now. Take the time you need to process your emotions and make decisions that are best for your wellbeing. Ultimately, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and loved for who you are.
I hope this advice provides you with some comfort and direction as you navigate through this challenging time in your relationship. You are deserving of love and kindness, and it’s important to prioritize your own wellbeing above all else. Take care of yourself, and know that you have the strength within you to overcome this hurdle.
He sounds very childish. The way he’s acting is definitely not “respectful, affectionate, super funny, or kind”. I would break it off
If it’s not deliberately cruel, it’s probably the most stupid and insensitive thing I’ve read on here. How could you be with someone who thinks so little of you?
Trust me, this says a LOT about him, and nothing about you. I’m sure you’re beautiful and you’ll find someone who treats you like a human being. I can’t believe the nerve of this guy.
Yeah, that’s not likely to get better.
Good luck.
I would break it off asap. Firstly because he is obviously lacking some serious self awareness and doesn’t give a shit about your feelings. Your partner should make you feel like the only woman in the room. And SECONDLY in my opinion the age gap is too significant… older men typically date much younger women because women their own age won’t put up with their bullshit and behaviour like your bfs… walk away babe.
Leave the guy. Who compares a girl to a sock and then expects to ever get laid again?!?
Find someone who thinks you are beautiful as you are… And whose attraction to you only grows over time.
My husband has witnessed me gain 60lbs during pregnancy (hormone-related, nothing I could do to stop it), and then lose 80lbs.
He loved before, during and after the weight gain. Heck, last weekend was tough and I only was able to shower once… And all he could do was tell me how beautiful I was over and over again.
Hint: I was not beautiful, but I was plying with our children… He could hear us giggling and laughing and came upstairs just to kiss me!
Be with someone who thinks you are beautiful for who you ARE. I can promise you that after decades of marriage that is all you will see when you look at the other person.
Insulting your partner’s looks is straight out of the pick up artist playbook. The idea is to break their self esteem so they seek the small praises the man offers and become more submissive out of a desire to earn the praise. It’s quite gross.
When I was younger, I might have been very “honest” when asked about how attractive a woman was, though I’d like to think I was never that cruel. Eventually, I stopped being a high school student. At 32, he really should have at least a vague idea that a woman doesn’t want to hear that he’s only with her because he’s not much of a catch himself so he wanted someone not even at his level, or have your girlfriend’s looks constantly compared to total strangers.
I don’t think there’s any recovering from this quite honestly. My advice? Dump him and let him reflect on his choices, assuming a modicum of self awareness on his part, then treat yourself to something that makes you feel hot. Some expensive yet not bank busting clothes, get your hair done, whatever. Don’t worry about what other men might think, just do something for yourself that makes you feel hot to wash away his bad aftertaste.
If you still want to continue being with him then be prepared to hear a lot more of that from him. You choose.
As is always the case, he’s 32 years old and dating a 23 year old because women his age would never put up with this shit.
Just, one month in. One month, and his very best foot forward is this. What a worthless sack of shit he is.
Yuck—this dude is just drooling over women and tripping through life and expects to build his confidence by putting you down?
You are pretty. This guy is pathetic, dump him and never look back.
Dude it’s only been a month. Cut your losses and bail. He can’t be “the one” if hes treating you so poorly.
He’s not being “clumsy” with words. Who the fuck uses “sock” to describe someone without trying to be purposefully hurtful?
I won’t even touch on the age gap because I know someone else will… please have some respect for yourself and leave. If he’s already making you feel this way, it won’t get better.
Good luck
This was not a mistake, misunderstanding or clumsiness—this dude is NOT socially ready for a relationship and you are suffering because ofmhis cruelly and immaturity.
He won’t grow out of it. You need to dump him yesterday.
The most charitable interpretation is that he’s 32 with the emotional intelligence of a sock. Nobody’s that thick, he’s negging you. The crushed confidence is the point, so that you’ll accept even worse treatment.
The most charitable interpretation is that he’s 32 with the emotional intelligence of a sock. Nobody’s that thick, he’s negging you. The crushed confidence is the point, so that you’ll accept even worse treatment.
He is acting like a clueless 13 yr old.
Respect yourself and dump him
You are 23 and far too young to waste your precious youth on this waste of space. Block his number and ghost.
This isn’t ‘clumsy’ with words. This is just a straight up absence of common sense, empathy, care, or basic human etiquette. This is naive to the point of being dangerous, a guy that will trample all over you that you’ll feel obliged to humour because ‘he didn’t mean it’ or whatever.
Or it could be a 32 year old that uses a bunch of classic negging tactics has targeted a girl a decade younger and is laying all the groundworks for an abusive relationship.
Or it could be both.
Regardless, you want an adult relationship. He isn’t capable of one. I think there is a calculated nature to what he is saying but even there isn’t, even if it is just that he is stupid, that still makes him a negative presence in your life.
You’re one month in. The reason people say to wait to decide if someone is right for you is precisely so you can spend more time together and expose stuff like this. You thought you found the one, you were wrong, that is okay so long as you don’t sunk cost yourself staying just because you got your hopes up.
You have been dating a dude for one month, and he said to you the phrase “compared to other girls you look like a sock”?
EJECT THIS LOSER INTO SPACE.
There are infinity dudes less “clumsy” with their words than that. Please waste no more of your time with this one.
Please drop this jerk asap.
How he behaves is enough to show you he is careless, lacks empathy, is immature.
Work to build up your confidence. You may not be conventionally beautiful, like millions of other women aren’t, but forget conventions. Your personality, some of your features -that are unique to you- the way you carry yourself, will make you lovable
A gut who makes you cray after a month isn’t worth it. He is also too old for you
He doesn’t get a pass because “he’s a guy”. You barely know him, it’s been a month. Cut him out, you don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. A girl like you would never
What an A Grade wank stain. Please dump this Negging drop kick ASAP.
Sounds like bf chose a much younger woman to see how many boundaries he could successfully push.
OP you deserve better. Leave this loser and find someone who treats you right.
You’re in love with this fuckwit after only one month?
Why?
A man who drools over other women and tells you that compared to them you look like a sock? This is the guy you’re in love with?
You might want to consider therapy, to raise your sense of self-worth to the point where you won’t allow yourself to be treated like shit.
He’s clearly negging you. Dump him and don’t believe his lies. I’m sure you are pretty.
He’s negging you. He’s too old for you as well. He knows what he’s doing and is trying to lower your self esteem so you will feel lucky and grateful that he even gives you a crumb of his attention, meanwhile making you feel so low that you feel unworthy of being loved by anyone.
Please leave him.
>I dont want to break things up over a silly misunderstanding or just because he’s a guy and he didn’t mean what he said.
>“compared to other girls well you look like a sock”.
Please, break up with him. He’s 32, he’s a grown man who knew what he was doing whan he opened his mouth and said this. It was an active choice. He knew exactly what he said.
Look up “negging”; whether consciously or subconsciously, that’s what he was doing.
Also for future, don’t give guys a pass when they make rude comments. Hold them to the same standards you hold yourself or other women.
> we’ve been together for one month.
Dump him. This is his *best* behaviour. It’s only going to get worse from here.
To be perfectly candid, your person isn’t going to have you crying your eyes out after only a month of dating. Please love yourself enough to move on from this asshat.
He’s an AH. I dated someone who was “clumsy” with words as well. Kept saying how I’d turn into a crazy cat lady if they hadn’t dated me. As if they’d done me a huge favour by asking me out. They also kept asking me, nearly everytime we went out, why I didn’t dress up like “her” (any well dressed, pretty lady who walked by) or why I didn’t buy lingerie for them (I did, but they always magically felt extremely tired the very day I would wear it, only to pressure me into wearing it when I didn’t want to, because they felt ready). You know what all of that did to me? F-ed up my sex drive and self confidence for a long time.
Life’s too short and too beautiful to be wasting it on a moron who can’t appreciate what he has. He’s not “clumsy”, he’s cruel, and if he’s not, then he’s too dense to see how damaging his words can be. Do you want to spend a lifetime chasing the validation of someone like that?
>I have to admit that my self confidence is not always 100% and he’s sometimes “clumsy” with his words.
He is not “clumsy” with words. He is deliberately cruel. He knows your self confidence isn’t the best and he is keeping you down.
> Is there any hope for our relationship to survive this?
I hope not. I hope you find a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who helps you build confidence instead of this loser who is deliberately eroding it.
Find someone who builds you up instead of someone who tears you down.
How cruel. The next time he snuggles up to you, tell him to go fuck a sock.
“He is respectful, affectionate, super funny, kind (…)” And then you tell us about the stupidest shit ever. I struggle to understand how can some posts here are real. If it’s real I’m so sorry. He’s just awful. But posts like this never make sense in my head. Like how fucking alien does this sound? I would attribute those qualities to my gf and I can’t even begin to process a world in which she’d 180° me so hard like that out of the blue.
OP, if this is actually real just leave him. How can it be worth to keep investing in this relationship. It makes 0 sense. You’re 23. It’ll be fine
Only a month together, that age gap.. he is putting out the feelers to find out how much abuse you can take
Your age gap plus this disrespectful and nasty behaviour this early into a relationship are just red flag city.
You say ‘for the first time in my entire life’ girl it’s been a month and you’re barely an adult. Take it from someone in their mid-30s, your ‘entire life’ has nowhere near happened. You’re too young to be in a relationship this bad.
This guy doesn’t want you or love you, drop him. He’s 32 but still insecure and hasn’t grown into himself and is taking it out on you. You don’t want to be settled for, so leave him and be with someone who sees you and your beauty. He’s dragging you along with no future plan, trust me.
Short answer: no
Long answer: noooooooooooooooo
Girl it’s been a month. You’re not in love with him, not really. You’re in love with the idea of him. “He’s respectful…kind…”?? No, he isn’t! He’s the furthest thing from it with the constant comments. You’re supposed to be his girlfriend but he speaks to you like you’re one of his boys…and then all but calls you ugly to your face? How fucking demeaning, demoralizing, and disheartening! The audacity to openly compare you to other women! These types of comments are a precursor to emotional abuse. He’s showing you who he is already, during the time he’s supposed to be on his best behavior! This is as good as he gets; do you really want to wait around to see what he’s like once he’s truly comfortable and thinks he has you locked down?? You deserve better than this…better than him. He needs to fuck all the way off.
Respectful, is that what you called him?
Of course you don’t look like a sock!
What “misunderstanding,” OP?
He said you look like a sock compared to other women. Whether that is true or false is not important, actually.
You dump anyone who says anything similar to that.
Anyone, EVERY SINGLE TIME.