Are you struggling to save your marriage from your spouse’s destructive behavior? Feeling lost and unsure of what steps to take next? Is there any hope left for your relationship? #marriageproblems #relationshipadvice #savingamarriage
The Situation:
– My wife (29F) is causing issues in our marriage
– I (29M) am feeling lost and unsure about how to move forward
The Question:
– What can I do to save my marriage?
– Is there any hope for us?
Identifying the Problem:
– Communication breakdown
– Trust issues
– Lack of intimacy
Seeking Solutions:
– Counseling for both partners
– Open and honest communication
– Setting boundaries and expectations
Moving Forward:
– Take small steps towards rebuilding trust
– Make time for each other
– Remember why you fell in love in the first place
By addressing the root of the problem and actively working towards a solution, there is still hope for your marriage. Don’t give up just yet – seek support, communicate openly, and take positive steps towards rebuilding your relationship.
You’re not at a total loss, you can always ✨divorce✨
Marriage counseling. Maybe she needs to hear it from someone else.
Be grateful you’re only 29 and divorce her. Get YOUR life back on track and live YOUR life. You can’t make her.
It seems you know what to do, get out of it she is not good for you
She seems to want a storybook life without putting in the effort. Sounds exhausting. Sorry man but she is really all about herself. She isn’t interested in a future where she might have to change something in order for you to be happier. That would defeat her whole purpose in making you do whatever she wants whenever she wants with no expectations of reciprocation.
This woman fundamentally does not want to be who she is and wants someone to make her life completely different for her without putting in effort herself.
You can do it, man. Leave.
Sounds like you’ve put in a lot of effort and it’s not only not reciprocated but leaving you feeling empty and unseen. That’s no way to live. I’m sure her anxiety is hard for her to manage too but choosing not to take meds is one thing, choosing to do nothing at all to manage your symptoms and expect your partner to just suck it up is an entirely different story.
Go out, do things that fill your tank. Be clear with her and take some time to sort out what it is that you want. If divorce is the clear want on your end then speak to a lawyer and get the process started. Seems like your sobriety might also be at risk if you keep living this way. Make choices that help bring you back to the “happy go lucky” guy you once were.
I would have initially said to communicate with each other honestly. Tell her what you said in the first paragraphs of this post.
However, if the love is gone, just divorce her. Youre young, you can find someone else
Considering that your post is mainly getting everything off of your chest and doesn’t have any real question; that means you already know what you have to do. Believe what you see and do what needs to be done. Best of luck.
You sound like me, but I’ma woman. I was in a relationship for 8 years that was… going nowhere.
Get a divorce.
I didn’t even meet my husband until I turned 30. You have many great years of life ahead.
I married my husband because he made me laugh and he organized fun social events.
Sometimes he complains – and I call him my Eeyore – but I’m a pretty perpetually happy person so most people have more down times than me.
Focus on the gym and rebuilding yourself after being with this energy drain.
Can you afford to stay in an AirBnB for a few days (even if younstay in town) or with a friend for a few days? I think getting away from having to go home every night for a few days, even if you go from the AirBnB to work the next day might be thr final breakthru you need to just end it.
You’re young and have plenty of life ahead of you.
If you’re not happy and you don’t care anymore to make it work then leave.
Get a divorce, but if you do decide to do that please be upfront, honest, and RESPECTFUL with your wife. She can’t be happy either, and maybe she lost herself in this relationship too. Choose your words wisely and don’t be mean.
OP, you do not need anyone’s approval to end this relationship. Marriage is a 2-way street. One cannot always be the giver and never the receiver. When this happens, the love dies, just like it has for you. It sounds like you have been more than accomodating, but she hasn’t and has remained self-centered and negative.
One statement really hit home. A few months ago, someone said that when you pull into your driveway, are your happy or sad when you see your partner’s car? If you aren’t happy, then thats a sign this relationship is over.
Talk to a lawyer, get your ducks in order and file for divorce. I wish you all of the happiness in the world. Go out and make the life you want as a single man.
Bruh…. Hate to say this but before I got married to my wife who I absolutely adore, I’ve been in your situation in a previous relationship…. Minus the marriage part. Same schtick with that ex. She wanted all the things you mentioned but when i tried she didn’t care at all. And she never tried herself to improve things. Took me a while to realize that she DID want those things, just not from ME. Not only that, we were fundamentally incompatible and it made us both so miserable even tho we cared so deeply about each other.
You need to divorce her man. Get a divorce and find someone who loves you for exactly who you are while encouraging your growth as a person. Trust me there is definitely someone out there who is a much better fit for you, and likewise for her. Yall just aren’t compatible and don’t mesh well together. I know it must be so hard, but seriously consider moving on and taking the whole experience as a life lesson for any future relationships. All the effort you put in is for naught, because you are not what she wants/needs and now she’s not what YOU want or need. So please consider doing you both a favor and ending it
Divorce b4 it gets too late
If she isn’t willing to work the way you are willing to work then u should strongly consider leaving
She’s in therapy, yet has turned to drinking and pot.
You are making strides in your sobriety and health. She is back sliding.
Ask her therapist about a couples session. Explain all this. You’re on the brink.
If you done everything you can do, then it might be time to call it quits.
I don’t like ultimatums, but in this case it might be all you can do. Tell her she sobers up, gets into couples counseling, or you’re out.
Good luck.
Seems to want all the zen and calming stuff, tantric etc yet depends on weed n booze to close her eyes….and possibly forget.
I say this can only end one way….and it’s not a good way.
OP, I don’t know if I have any advice to give that you aren’t already aware of or hasn’t been commented by a dozen. I’m just sorry that you’re going through all of this – I have been in similar situations in the past. Feel free to shoot me a message if you need someone to talk to.
If you’re so miserable go see a divorce lawyer. Get all your financial stuff together. Tell her you don’t like the person she’s become, the person she’s making you become and you’re filing for divorce and do it. Do it before you have kids do not get her pregnant. Just stop having sex all together.
Dude, she is clearly just using you as a flesh and blood adult toy, please value yourself and get out of this, people like her rarely change, if they really do, they change.
I can only share one thing… when I started dreading coming hime, that was near the end for me. I would sit in my car longer than needed. I’m not sure why other than I did not want to go in. I left, I wish I left sooner. No one should dread coming home. That’s your sanctuary, safe place in life.
Similar situation with me, but she left me. After months of feeling down and wanting her back, I drew the same conclusions and reasonings you have. If you have already had this conversation, give an ultimatum with a timeline. If you don’t see improvement by a certain date, give her the D.
Here’s the thing about mental health issues, they don’t go away on their own not even with therapy by itself in most cases. I am bipolar so I sympathize and relate your wife but the difference between us is that I take medication and even when I’m upset or having issues I still try to work with my partner.
She can’t expect to be woo’d and have amazing sex and want to put in no effort. I haven’t met many normal, healthy men who woo women who aren’t interested and don’t engage. She can’t expect you to do all work while she does nothing.
Many others told you to help her get help. No. That’s her job. You help her in a crisis you don’t help her on a Monday because she won’t take care of herself. That’s ridiculous and it won’t help anyway she needs to want to get help. Both for her mental health and addiction issues. I saw you say she said meds numb her? No. I take anxiety meds plus antipsychotics and you know what numbs me? Weed. I do smoke a little to go to sleep per my doctor’s suggestion but I smoke right before bed. There’s plenty of anxiety meds and yes some have side effects but she is using it as an excuse.
I think you need to leave at least temporarily. She needs a wake up call.
I think that you definitely deserve better. if your love for her is gone, it’s probably in your best interest to end the marriage. It’s also not fair for her to expect you to please her sexually meanwhile she doesn’t do the same. I’m sorry this is happening to you and I wish you well 🙁
>I’m at a loss for what to do.
You know EXACTLY what it is you need to do here: drop the dead weight, the quicker you do it, the better you will be
Lawyer up & Divorce
That’s what we call a Narcist. I hate it when sum women say they want to be worshipped & desired but dont give us a damn reason to I mean do they seriously think having a vagina is enough?
I can tell you’re genuinely distraught about the dissolution of the relationship and not just the lack of sex. So many guys come on here and whine about how “she just won’t fuck me!” You’ve brought a lot more information here and it’s clear y’all aren’t compatible anymore. The stark contrast of how carefree you are and how pessimistic she is paints a very sad picture. Partners are supposed to be good for one another and for whatever reason, self sabotage/mental health issues/falling out of love, it seems like you’re both wrong for each other. She’s devolving back into bad habits and you’re a shell of the person you loved being.
29 is so young, though! You have so much time ahead of you to fall in love with yourself and life again. Best of luck to you!