#FamilyLaw #ChildCustody #LegalAdvice
Hey there, I’m so sorry to hear about the difficult situation your brother and his family are facing. It’s heart-wrenching to see a child, especially one they have cared for and loved for so long, potentially be taken away from them. 😔 It’s completely understandable that they would want to fight for the little girl they consider a part of their family.
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like the situation is incredibly challenging, and it’s natural for your brother and his family to seek legal recourse. The prospect of losing a child they have nurtured and raised is undoubtedly distressing. However, navigating the legal system in child custody and adoption cases can be complex, and it’s essential to approach it with a clear understanding of the applicable laws and regulations.
In cases like these, it’s crucial for your brother to seek professional legal advice from a family law attorney who has experience in child custody and adoption proceedings. Consulting with a knowledgeable lawyer can provide your brother with valuable insight into the legal options available to him and his family. Additionally, a family law attorney can guide them through the specifics of their situation and outline potential strategies for fighting to maintain custody of the child they have grown to love and care for.
It’s important to note that family law varies by jurisdiction, so the specific laws and processes that apply to your brother’s situation will depend on the state or country where they reside. The regulations surrounding adoption, parental rights, and extended family members’ potential claims to custody can differ significantly from one location to another. Therefore, seeking tailored legal counsel that aligns with the relevant legal framework is essential for your brother’s case.
When engaging with a family law attorney, your brother should be prepared to provide all the necessary documentation and evidence that supports their role as caregivers and potential adoptive parents for the child. This can include records of their interactions with the child, documentation from child welfare services or social workers, evidence of the child’s well-being and development in their care, and any relevant communication with the biological parents or extended family members involved in the custody dispute.
Moreover, it’s important for your brother and his family to maintain open and ongoing communication with the child welfare authorities overseeing the custody process. While navigating through the legal channels, demonstrating their commitment, love, and stability as caregivers for the child can be influential in a court’s decision-making process. Building a solid case that outlines their positive impact on the child’s life and well-being is crucial for strengthening their position in the custody battle.
In some cases, options such as mediation or negotiation with the extended family member seeking custody might be explored as a means to reach a resolution that prioritizes the child’s best interests. A family law attorney can provide guidance on how to approach such discussions while safeguarding your brother’s legal rights and the child’s well-being.
It’s worth noting that the “best interests of the child” is a fundamental principle in family law cases involving custody and adoption. Courts typically prioritize the child’s physical, emotional, and developmental needs when making decisions about their placement and care. Factors such as the child’s bond with their current caregivers, stability in their living environment, and continuity of relationships with familiar individuals can all play a significant role in determining the child’s best interests.
Ultimately, while it’s undoubtedly a challenging and emotional time, it’s important for your brother and his family to approach the legal process with diligence, determination, and a thorough understanding of their rights and legal options. Exploring the available avenues for legal recourse, seeking professional legal guidance, and advocating for their role in the child’s life are essential steps in their pursuit of securing the well-being and happiness of the little girl they have embraced as a part of their family.
My heart goes out to your brother’s family during this incredibly difficult time, and I sincerely hope that they can find a resolution that brings them peace and allows the little girl to thrive in the environment where she is cherished and loved.
Edit:
Thank you to everyone who offered counsel, encouragement, experiences, and help. I would have preferred a little less hostility from those who don’t agree with other people’s perspectives, but it’s everyone’s right to speak their peace. I can logic on both sides and will go a little wiser to help my brother through this process.
No they are foster carers . Not a permanent placement. If they wish to be considered for adoption they need to go through that process.
It depends on their location, and how long the child has been in their care. Generally, foster care has a primary goal of returning a child to their parents if that can be done safely, a secondary goal of placing the child with extended family members, and if neither of those is possible finding a safe permanent home for the child.
Long term, a child who is placed with extended family members and maintains a connection to their birth family / culture has better outcomes on average. That said, in some locations foster parents who have cared for the child for an extended period can be considered “fictive kin”, and have the status to petition for permanent placement.
I’m sorry, I’m sure your brother’s family is crushed, but this is how foster care works. It is repeatedly explained to prospective caregivers that placements may be temporary. If/when the parent(s) get their act together or a suitable relative steps forward, foster care is no longer necessary. Keeping children within the extended family is the preferred outcome. ETA: As far as Child Protective Services or your local equivalent is concerned, 6 months is a relatively short duration of time. Had the child been with your brother for years, he’d have a stronger argument that remaining with him would be in the child’s best interests.
The child’s best interest is to be with family, when they are safely capable of raising them. If your brother, and you, truly love this baby you will want what is best for them. You should help transition the baby to their family so there is as little trauma as possible. It should never be about what the foster carer wants. Don’t be selfish.
Former Caseworker here. In the state I worked, foster parents were set up in multiple categories. Those who wanted to adopt were called “legal risk” homes. They had already done the work to adopt children from foster care. Are they a legal risk home or whatever that is called in your state?
Another factor is how long the child has been placed with them. If it’s been two years for example, they’d have more standing to claim familial bonding than if the child had only been placed for a few months.
The preference will always be to place with family first, as long as they are safe and can provide a suitable, stable home. That doesn’t mean your brother isn’t safe, suitable, and stable; it’s just that there is a strong push to place with biological family first.
>My brother is losing his adoptive child
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>They had planned to adopt her as the mother is an absolute disaster and is about to have her parental rights terminated.
Those two statements are completely different.
Your brother was a foster parent. A foster parent has no legal rights over a foster child, those rights are held by the state, and exercised by contract and oversight from the state.
>It doesnt seem right to me but I know family gets “first dibs” on a child when they are removed from the parents.
You know wrong.
When a child is removed from the home, the state has an onus to make *reasonable efforts* to place the child in the *least restrictive* placement, and act in the child’s *best interest*. The least restrictive placement goes roughly in the following order:
1. At home with their parent (if removed, this is reunification)
2. The non-custodial parent (if removed, this is also reunification)
3. With family (if the child is part of a tribe, then with Native family first)
4. Foster home
5. Residential placement
Notice that your brother is step 4, the extended family is step 3.
>My brother and his family want the little girl
This is irrelevant to either prong under consideration.
>and they are the only family she knows.
I notice you do not give the age of the child, but the state is required to pursue permanency (such as adoption) after 15 months out of home within any 22 month period. If the child is 1 or 2, this is not the biggest consideration.
>In fact all of the family is smitten with her.
This is irrelevant to either prong under consideration.
Adoption with someone from father’s family is, under the law, less restrictive than with no one in either family, and is in the best interests of an infant or toddler who will at grow up with their natural extended family. If your brother wants to maintain a chance to adopt, then they need to work with the authorities, and stay patient. Should the placement not work (which happens quite often), your brother is likely the first backup option.
The child is not “his adoptive child” as an adoption hasn’t happened yet.
For a foster child, the goal is virtually always reunification with family. Your brother was made aware of this and should be supportive of the process rather than fighting it. That’s part of being a foster placement.
As heartbreaking as it may be for those who have been caring for this child, it is generally seen as in the child’s best interest to be raised by family. It’s not about getting “first dibs” – it’s about maintaining biological/familial bonds for the child first and foremost. We have strong evidence showing the importance of prioritizing that children be raised by their family. And the family court/foster care system (generally) follows that, at least when it comes to adoptions.
This is not a commentary about your brother’s parenting or the bond he and his family have developed with the child. This is about prioritizing both short and long-term well-being of the child.
That said, yes, there are certainly cases where it’s deemed that it’s in the overall well being of the child to be adopted by someone who is not their family (like foster parents). Should your brother really want to pursue this, he will almost certainly need to work with his own attorney.
This is foster care, that’s how it works if the extended family member is approved
No. A child is not a commodity anyone calls dibs on. Adoption is incredibly traumatizing and every effort should be made to keep a child with their biological family. Your brother should make every effort to ensure the baby has a smooth transition and every effort is made to ensure the people gaining custody of the baby have all information and two sources they need and your brother can provide.
Foster parent here in another state.
Reunification is always the goal and if not possible then biological family almost always gets first dibs. Throughout the entire process and at any point. They can get a lawyer and fight this but the odds are incredibly small that they can win.
It’s his foster child not his adoptive child. People shouldn’t go into being foster parents with the expectation of keeping the child. The state wants to keep birth families together.
The absolute best outcome for this child is to remain with family. It’s so wonderful that an extended family member will be adopting her. What a great outcome for a terrible situation. As far as your brother, he and his wife should seek therapy.
If there is a viable family member, reunification is always the first choice. It is because of my experience as an adoptee separated from my family and siblings that I have as an adult rabidly fought to keep the kids in my family within the family when there have been troubles. Two of my family members were later unfit to raise their kids, but I was and I did. I absolutely had them placed with me. Reunification is always the goal unless that becomes impossible or unsafe. I am that extended family who will pull out every stop and exhaust every resource to keep or return a child to my family, though. I have also had to return a child to their family. It hurt because I loved him, but he had a family that wanted him and was prepared to raise him. It was a hard adjustment for everyone, but the right thing to do. Hard adjustment periods even for children are no justification for denying them the chance to be with their families.
It is completely unethical to try to block a child from their own family. It sucks to lose someone you have become attached to, but that child already has a family. That is just a part of fostering.
I’m a foster parent and this is what foster care is.
It’s a temporary solution, with the primary goal of reunifying the child with their family.
This is what makes foster parenting difficult, especially when you do it well. You will bond with these kids. You will grow to care for these kids. You will love these kids and want them to be in your life forever. They will feel like a part of you. And then it feels like they’re getting ripped away from you and you’re losing a part of yourself.
That’s what foster parenting is. That’s what makes it so hard. That’s why emotionally it takes a heavy toll on people.
My oldest foster kid has been with us over 6 months and is about to turn 11yo. He will almost certainly be with us another 6 months at minimum and likely longer. In his case, bio-dad was never in the picture, bio-mom is likely going to prison and/or getting deported within the next year, and despite being in and out of the system for almost 3 years now no extended family has come out of the woodwork to seek a kinship placement.
If he were to become available for adoption we would absolutely adopt him without a second thought. But we also accept that circumstances could change and he could also be placed somewhere else.
We are doing everything we can to be friendly towards bio-mom, mostly because it’s just the decent thing to do. If she somehow beats the charges against her, avoids deportation, kicks her substance abuse problem and is able to provide a safe home for her son, he could theoretically move back with her. And that would be what’s best for him.
Would it be incredibly hard for us? Yes. Especially considering if that happens it means it’s probably been 1-2 years he’s been living with us. We love this child so much. We’re only going to grow closer and bond more as time goes on.
So yeah, if that happens, or a kinship shows up out of nowhere, it’s going to be tough. Very tough. But we’re not going to fight. We’re not going to complain. And we absolutely are not going to express any doubt to the kid that this is anything but a good thing.
OP is dealing with a baby that’s been in the home about 6 months. This baby cannot talk, and will not remember literally anything about any of this. Moving homes can be traumatic, but when they’re less than a year old, that’s when it’s the least traumatic time to move them.
If these people cannot bring themselves to say goodbye to a baby, they might not be cut out for foster parenting. Because it gets way way way harder to say goodbye when they’re older and have been with you longer.