#RelationshipSecrets #CommunicationInRelationships #KeepingSecretsInARelationship
🤫 What is something you can’t tell your partner? 🤫
In every relationship, there are often things that we keep to ourselves or choose not to share with our partners. While honesty and open communication are essential in a healthy relationship, it’s also natural to have a few secrets or private thoughts. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons why people hide things from their partners, the potential impact on relationships, and provide some tips for navigating this delicate territory.
## Why do people keep secrets from their partners?
### Fear of judgment
– People may have concerns about their partner’s reaction if they reveal certain thoughts or actions.
– They may worry about being judged or criticized, leading them to keep things to themselves.
### Protection of privacy
– Individuals may have a need for personal space and privacy, which can result in keeping certain things private.
– Boundaries are essential in relationships, and maintaining some level of privacy can contribute to overall well-being.
### Avoiding conflict
– Some people keep secrets to avoid potential arguments or conflicts with their partners.
– They may believe that certain topics are not worth discussing to maintain peace in the relationship.
## Examples of things people may keep from their partners
### Financial matters
– It’s common for individuals to keep financial secrets from their partners, such as credit card debt or overspending habits.
– They may feel embarrassed or guilty about their financial situation, leading them to keep it hidden.
### Past relationships
– Some people may choose not to disclose certain details about their previous relationships or romantic history.
– They may fear that sharing this information could create feelings of jealousy or insecurity in their current partner.
### Personal struggles
– Individuals may keep personal struggles, such as mental health issues or insecurities, to themselves.
– They may worry about burdening their partner or facing rejection if they reveal these vulnerable aspects of themselves.
### Small white lies
– Whether it’s about liking a partner’s cooking or their taste in clothing, people sometimes tell little white lies to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings.
– While these lies may seem harmless, consistently hiding one’s true feelings can breed a lack of authenticity in the relationship.
## The potential impact on relationships
### Breach of trust
– Keeping secrets can lead to a breach of trust in a relationship.
– When one partner discovers that the other has been hiding things, it can cause feelings of betrayal and a breakdown in trust.
### Communication breakdown
– Secrets can create barriers to open communication with your partner.
– When individuals are not forthcoming about their thoughts and feelings, it can hinder the intimacy and connection in the relationship.
### Building resentment
– The partner who is kept in the dark may start to feel resentment towards the other.
– Being excluded from important aspects of your partner’s life can create feelings of hurt and disappointment.
### Impact on decision-making
– Keeping important information from your partner can also hinder the decision-making process in the relationship.
– It can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of alignment in shared goals and plans.
## Tips for navigating secrets in a relationship
### Honesty and transparency
– Strive to be open and honest with your partner about your feelings and experiences.
– Create a safe and non-judgmental space for each other to share without fear of repercussions.
### Respect privacy
– Understand and respect your partner’s need for personal space and privacy.
– It’s essential to have boundaries while still fostering trust and open communication.
### Seek professional help
– If there are deep-seated issues or secrets that are causing distress in the relationship, consider seeking couples therapy.
– A professional therapist can help facilitate healthy communication and address underlying concerns.
### Address underlying issues
– Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, address underlying issues that may be prompting the need to keep secrets.
– Understanding the root cause can help foster a deeper connection and resolution.
### Empathize with your partner
– Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective.
– Empathy can go a long way in fostering understanding and compassion in a relationship.
In conclusion, while keeping secrets from a partner is a common occurrence, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to open communication. By creating a safe and non-judgmental space for each other, couples can navigate the delicate balance between privacy and transparency, ultimately strengthening their bond.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and it’s important to find what works best for both partners when it comes to sharing personal information and maintaining trust.
I can’t tell them that I am not as attracted to them as they are to me. Our level of desire for one another is unbalanced but I love them for 1000 other more important reasons. Sometimes I wonder if I’m cutting myself short by not being with someone I’m lustful over and other times I think he deserves to be with someone who is equally into him.
I was cyber stalked by my ex for years. Don’t want him to think I’m nuts, or deal with him not believing me
That I feel really lonely. For context, I am going through my second pregnancy and we just found out that his sister has breast cancer. He’s really stressed out and focused on his family, as he should be and I try to support them as much as I can by handling everything at home (toddler, work, household). During my first pregnancy my husband had a huge accident and then fell into depression after the baby was born. I was hoping this time for a happy birth/ post partum.
My SIL chemo is scheduled to end when I give birth, so if the news isn’t what we hope for, I am so scared of how he will take it.
And I feel super selfish for feeling like this when SIL is the one who is sick and suffering so much more.
So I can’t tell him, because it wouldn’t help anyone, just make everyone feel so much worse.
I don’t trust him at all anymore and don’t see a future together, which will bring anything good for both of us and that i want to get a divorce. It’s not like I haven’t discussed divorce, but he thinks that it always happened in a fight, so it’s something i said in anger and not something I actually meant.
I can’t tell my husband that he is a fictional character.
That his own friends told me to stay away from him
I dont want to marry into a religious family but i want to marry my partner. They are not religious but family is important to them.
We have been together for some time and neither of us want to end the relationship. I guess we both know we enjoy eachother too much and want it to last as much as it can.
Edit: grammar
That I’m afraid he’ll never be emotionally available enough for me.
He’s trying.
I know it’s probably extremely weird to say but : how much love and appreciation I have for him. Our relationship isn’t at its best shape at the moment and there’s so much I would love and sincerely wish to stop on experiencing from him that expressing all of that would have a negative effect of him taking it for granted, therefore stopping the efforts I am heavily requesting him to do. A part of me just want to straight up tell him to make me fall back in love with him because the love is still here, the problem is that I’ve been hurt and deceived so many times by him that as part of my coping mechanism I unconsciously suppress my feelings to protect myself from any potential hurt. So, I’m extremely vocal on everything that needs to stop/improve but when it comes to expressing my love, it’s been a while I had stopped on doing so.
That I don’t like his kids
That I think his penis is small. But it doesn’t matter, he excels at other “areas”
How much it hurts to hear my SIL and MIL’s comments and criticisms, especially after the fact. They tell him things but I never know about it until later, when he decides to bring it up. I’m questioning whether or not I even want to go to Christmas this year with what they’ve said and assumed behind my back. I may play sick.
Please note that he doesn’t bring it up to use against me. It’s often when he’s complaining about them.
That I mourn our sex life. It’s barely there and when we do actually have sex it sucks due to his issues going on. I love him more than anything just very sad our wild and good multi position days are really over.
That he’s not my ideal partner. We differ in a lot of things. And I mean a lot. Food, music, movies, priorities, marriage, love language, social activities, views on different topics.
We’ve broken up before. I told him that we’re just too different. We’re trying now I guess but I still feel in my heart that we’re just not compatible and there’s this sadness about it in my heart that I can’t get over.
He is a good man. He’s gentle, kind, patient, loving, never shouts, but just, different…
That I am mostly lonely and not sure if I still want to be with my partner. But love is still there, however, its just not enough to get us by.
That I don’t believe him entirely when he says we will be able to have kids one day. I’m 31 and am beginning to really want children, but my husband’s job (I’m working too) is so unpredictable sometimes that I’m not sure having children, from a financial standpoint, is the best thing to do. He tells me we will have them one day, but I’m afraid that will never happen. It’s hard to envision bringing a child in the world with him sometimes. I just pretend to believe him. It’s so depressing for me because becoming a mother is something I have always longed for. Maybe we will be in a completely different spot in the next 4-5 years, who knows.
That he could have been a father but I didn’t ask for his opinion, as I was pretty sure he wouldn’t have supported me
That I know that he doesn’t really love me. He loves that I look good on paper. He loves that I have helped him grow into what is probably the best version of himself and I have helped him heal. But he doesn’t actually love me even if he can’t admit it to himself it’s very obvious to me.
That I feel like an imposter most times and he could be with someone so much better than me.
That I’m attracted to/want to sleep with other people now after he had an affair. It’s a new feeling for me. I’d never even looked twice at someone in the 9 years we’ve been together.
It’s weird- but a part of me is jealous that he was able to go and have that impulsive experience and I’m unable to because I saw first-hand how soul destroying it was.
We’re fine now, mostly. He’s done a lot of work to make things up to me and he’s honestly a better partner than he ever was before. Really I just miss feeling so 100% devoted to someone.
That more often than not I’m struggling with suicidal thoughts.
I’m childfree by choice, never wanted kids. When my partner and i first got together I made that very very clear. If he wanted kids then we shouldn’t date. He said he’s always been 50/50 but the more he thought about it he was fine not having kids and has come to value what being child free means for our life. However he’s made a few comment over the years that has sprinkled doubt for me and created a fear that one day he will wake up and either resent me, or want kids and we’ll have to break up.
I’m about to leave. What you’ve done recently isn’t something we can tide over ever. You have broken my heart and I’m going to go now
It’s a very complex situation. I’ve outgrown the relationship. And I’m conflicted now by the way it started. Hindsight that he as an older man had no business talking to me on the cusp of womanhood. And me being naive and with such low self-esteem ran headfirst thinking I was being wild and rebellious like Cathy from Wuthering Heights or something. But reality now that I’m mid 40s hits different and I am at a loss at times.
The lack of sex is destroying my self esteem. I can tell he’s losing attraction. I’m not stupid. I crave attention outside of the relationship because no matter how many times I’ve expressed wanting more from him he never tries. I wouldn’t mind if he leaves. I’m ready to be alone.
I catch myself self sabotaging our relationship when things get too good cause I don’t believe I truly deserve happiness or if happiness comes to my door something will happen and I will have it then loose it.
That the amount of weight he has put on over the last several years really bothers me.
That I absolutely hate living in this bum fuck rural town and it wears on me everyday. To be here, I left my family and friends, and WFH everyday. It’s lonely. I’m a city girl. I don’t want to drive 25 min to the closest Walgreens that closes at 5pm.
His own mother who passed away earlier this year, warned me of how selfish her son can be, and is. Ooof, she was right but, I’m still with and love him dearly. Love is a hell of a drug.
That I feel disconnected and lonely and like he’s not interested in me anymore. 😔
That he doesn’t turn me on/make me cum/make me wet. That I wish someone else was fucking me ALL the time. I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. Been together nearly 2 years. Outside the bedroom he’s everything a girl would want: loyal, attentive, constant compliments, do anything for you ect. He makes me feel safe(emotionally)and I’ve never had that before. He’s the first person that isn’t toxic and I’m 1000% myself around him. In the bedroom he’s very willing and will do whatever I ask but he just doesn’t do it for my lady bits. There’s past lovers that would just touch my arm and I’m gooey lol I’m used to having more male dominated partners that would fuck the shit outta me and and eat my fucking soul..he’s so soft and gentle and although he loves to go down…I just can’t get there without a toy involved. No matter how much I tell him do this do that! I still can’t cum from him. He’s more submissive and although he tries, it don’t feel natural. If this is what having a healthy non toxic man means then I feel fucked up for wanting the latterðŸ˜
What I’m buying him for Xmas as I want it to be a surprise
Everything else I can share with him
most of these replies are things people SHOULD tell to their partners.