#RoommateProblems: Giving back my roommate’s energy 😤
Living with roommates can be a lot of fun, but it can also come with its fair share of challenges. A few years ago, I rented a house with two other women, and we quickly realized that living together wasn’t always going to be smooth sailing.
##The Dish Dilemma
We were all in our mid-20s, working full time, and with various social obligations. The three of us kept the house tidy, though sometimes a dish or two was left in the sink for later if we were running late. Nell, one of my roommates, called a roommate meeting and said we should all wash our dishes when we’re done using them. No problem, right? That’s what we mostly did, except for the rare occasion when somebody was running late.
##The Post-It Note Fiasco
A few weeks after the meeting, I came home to find my other roommate, Petra, standing in the kitchen looking annoyed. Above the sink was a post-it note reading, “Per our previous conversation, please don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink.” In the sink was a coffee cup, small plate, and spoon. Petra had missed her alarm, and I guess Nell came home during her lunch break, saw the mess, and left a note. But here’s the thing: this was the first time Petra or I had left anything in the sink since that conversation. Nell, however, regularly left her dishes in the sink until the next day.
##The Passive-Aggressive Notes
Fed up with the double standards, Petra and I decided to fight back in the only way we knew how – with passive-aggressive notes. The next night, Petra and I came home after Nell was asleep. She had left a cup in the sink, so Petra ran to her room, grabbed a pile of sticky notes, and wrote, “Per our previous conversation, please don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink.” I asked if I could leave a note, and it spiraled from there.
Between the two of us, we left every step for washing a dish: a note on the soap (“Soap is your friend!”), by the sponge (“Use me to scrub away dirt!”), the faucet (“You’re almost there! Rinse here!”), and the towel (“Last step! Dry, then put away!”)
##The Outcome
I was the first to leave the next morning. Upon returning home, the sink was empty, and a single post-it remained: “I don’t appreciate the passive-aggression.”
After our little note war, we all sat down and had a conversation about the issue, which ultimately led to a clearer understanding of each other’s expectations and a more harmonious living situation.
##Key Takeaways
Living with roommates can be challenging, but it’s important to find ways to communicate effectively and address issues as they arise. Here are a few key takeaways from my experience:
1. Clear Communication is Key: It’s important to have open and honest communication with your roommates about shared responsibilities and expectations.
2. Be Open to Compromise: Living with roommates requires compromise. Understand that everyone has different habits and preferences, and be willing to find common ground.
3. Address Issues Promptly: When issues arise, it’s important to address them promptly and respectfully. Passive-aggressive behavior only leads to more tension and conflict.
4. Find Solutions Together: Instead of engaging in a back-and-forth of passive-aggressive behavior, work together to find solutions that work for everyone.
Living with roommates may have its ups and downs, but with open communication and a willingness to work together, it can be a rewarding experience. Remember to address issues as they arise and find solutions that work for everyone involved.
FAFO perfectly played!
LOL since she used a post-it herself, if it had been saved, could have used her own note as well. The extra notes were hilarious!
Really? I mean what was that when Nell left a note. My my she seemed to have virtually no self realization!
Great job OP and Petra. You rubbed this point in well. Or should I say that you soaped it in?
Hahahaha! I bet she will think twice before leaving another petty note!
What goes around comes around
Holy, grow up.
In the immortal words of Commander Lawrence “Do you have an irony deficiency?”
Leave a note ‘i don’t appreciate your hypocrisy’. (This advice is not intended to make your relationship with them better.)
Haha, I love how you handled this! Funny and friendly reminders 😅
Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it!
That’s not revenge, we call that “returning the favor.”
It sounds betterer.
You should’ve added a last sticky note to hers: _Please keep using sticky note as the primary way to voice your grievances!_
Thanks. Made me chuckle
if you can’t take it, don’t dirty-dish it!
Learning how to nicely give negative feedback to others is truly a life skill that people are terrified to learn.
Nell got Nell’d!
Hey Nell go Nell yourself! 🙂