#SexualSatisfaction #RelationshipAdvice #IntimacyIssues #SexualDissatisfaction #SexualIncompatibility
Are you feeling sexually unsatisfied in your relationship? You’re not alone. Many couples struggle with mismatched libidos, difficulty in achieving orgasm, and overall dissatisfaction with their sex life. It’s important to address this issue in a compassionate and understanding manner, as sexual satisfaction is a crucial aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
In this article, we will explore some common reasons for sexual dissatisfaction and provide actionable advice on how to improve intimacy and sexual connection with your partner. Additionally, we’ll draw insights from the Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Hindu scripture that offers wisdom on love, relationships, and personal fulfillment.
Understanding the Root Cause of Sexual Dissatisfaction
Before delving into potential solutions, it’s important to understand the underlying reasons for your sexual dissatisfaction. There can be a variety of factors contributing to this issue, including physical, emotional, and psychological elements. Here are some common reasons why individuals may feel unsatisfied sexually:
Physical discomfort or pain during intercourse
Mismatched libidos
Difficulty in achieving orgasm
Unresolved emotional issues within the relationship
Lack of communication and understanding between partners
Pressure to perform or meet unrealistic expectations
Once you’ve identified the root cause of your sexual dissatisfaction, you can begin to address these issues with your partner and work towards finding mutually satisfying solutions.
Potential Solutions for Improving Sexual Satisfaction
Improving sexual satisfaction in a relationship often requires open and honest communication, patience, and a willingness to explore new ways of connecting with your partner. Here are some actionable steps that you can take to address your sexual dissatisfaction:
1. Open Up a Dialogue with Your Partner
Initiate a candid and non-judgmental conversation with your partner about your sexual needs and desires. Express your feelings openly and listen to their perspective as well. Avoid placing blame or making accusations, and instead focus on finding common ground and understanding each other’s viewpoints.
2. Explore Different Forms of Intimacy
Sexual satisfaction isn’t solely dependent on physical intercourse. Consider exploring alternative forms of intimacy, such as sensual massages, cuddling, or engaging in shared activities that promote emotional connection. Building intimacy outside the bedroom can often lead to improved sexual satisfaction within the relationship.
3. Experiment with New Techniques and Strategies
Incorporate new techniques and strategies into your intimate moments with your partner. This could involve trying different positions, incorporating sex toys or other accessories, and experimenting with sensory stimulation to enhance arousal and pleasure. Be open to exploring and discovering what works best for both of you.
4. Seek Professional Assistance
If you and your partner are struggling to address sexual dissatisfaction on your own, consider seeking the guidance of a certified sex therapist or counselor. Professional intervention can provide a neutral and supportive environment to address underlying issues and develop a plan for improving sexual satisfaction.
Wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita on Love and Relationships
The Bhagavad Gita offers timeless wisdom on love, relationships, and personal fulfillment. While not explicitly addressing sexual satisfaction, the principles found in this ancient scripture can offer valuable insights for navigating the complexities of intimate relationships.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna emphasizes the importance of selfless love, compassion, and understanding in all aspects of life. Applying these principles to your relationship can help foster a deeper sense of connection and empathy towards your partner, creating a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership.
One of the key teachings from the Bhagavad Gita is the concept of “karma yoga,” which encourages individuals to perform their duties selflessly and without attachment to the results. Applying this principle to your intimate relationship can help you approach sexual satisfaction with a mindset of mutual giving and compassion, rather than focusing solely on personal desires.
Final Thoughts
Addressing sexual dissatisfaction in a relationship requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work towards mutual satisfaction. By openly communicating with your partner, exploring new avenues for intimacy, and seeking professional assistance when needed, you can take proactive steps towards improving sexual satisfaction and building a more fulfilling relationship.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not necessarily work for another. Be open to experimentation, adaptation, and ongoing dialogue with your partner to cultivate a deeper sense of intimacy and satisfaction within your relationship. With time, effort, and a compassionate approach, you can navigate the challenges of sexual dissatisfaction and build a more satisfying and fulfilling connection with your partner.
I understand you say you have incorporated toys, but is it just vanilla sex or are you guys getting “freaky” for a lack of better words.
Are there certain fantasies you have ? Incorporate them to your bedroom and It may help you get off quicker
Have you always experienced delayed orgasms?
Yeah I’d be getting checked out for medical issues
oof. Following this. I am the same. It takes me so long even though my husband does everything right, and I feel so bad about it. I hate being this way.
Dyslexic, will be errors
Honestly I dont think social media is your answer here. Your first stop should be a medical practicioner who specialises in delayed orgasms. Possibly there is a medical issue or there is a sexual switch you have yet to discover. It could be a psycological block, your stressed about the hard time to orgasm which makes it tougher. I could mention a whole list of things to try, but honestly. Go see a professional because you need to know what to do so you can tell your partner. Everything else is guessing, and guessing is going to be more frustrating.
I precondition my brain for sex by listening:/ reading to smutty romance novels before we have sex. It has helped. A huge part of responsiveness is your brain being in the right frame of mind.
Go as long as possible without masturbation or sex. I think you may just be desensitized. Go a few weeks with no stimulation down there, then boom you’ll be able to orgasm much quicker! Trust the process. Just explain it to him. In the meantime try different things with him to keep him satisfied while you recalibrate
I’m sorry you’re going through that. If I may suggest, perhaps, you may both try being silly and playful (in a mild and non-hurtful way) for the whole day, to build up tension for freaky time. Here’s what works for me and my girl:
– Don’t take sex seriously. Being silly and playful is what will get you in the mood and past the finish line.
-Learn mom and dad jokes. They don’t have to be funny, just clever and mildly sarcastic.
– Add some mild sarcasm and silliness to your compliments. (Disgusting. You should go to jail for looking this pretty!
. I am offended by how sweet you were to help me carry table to the other room ).
– Connect by sharing how you overcome the little insignificant inconveniences you had during the day, everyday.
– Insert sexual wordplay/puns/metaphors/ innuendos into your normal convos and daily routines whether in person or over text. Be silly and playful about it and don’t take it seriously. E.g. Put (whole or carved) fruits that look like sexual parts around the house.
– Be physically playful with each other as if you both are children.
– Look up new sexual games (food play, or sensory play, card games.. etc ) and get mildly sarcastic and silly about putting your spin on it.
– Read smut jokes and books.
All the best bro!
Golden champ works on you for 20-30 min in foreplay.
Title is worng: You are not unsatisfied with your BF … you are unsatisfied with yourself. Its in your head and subconscious. You need to work on that with someone. If you go into sex with mindset already set on “I hope this time it will manage” then it wont manage or with difficulties.
Your head can affect your sexlife more than you think. I am talking from experience … I am in good phys. shape and sex was always something, which I felt confident in and objectively was good at …. until my Ex broke up with me. I was mess and coudnt perform, and even year after when I thought I am over her … it was still there … and without help it would probably be there still, ruining my life.
You’re not unsatisfied with your bf, you’re unsatisfied with yourself. Don’t be blaming him
My wife tried one of thc based lubricants. She cums in minutes multiple times now. She doesn’t smoke weed.
Leave him out of it. It’s a you problem. Not him. By your own admission he is great every other way. In fact even when it comes to sec he tries “so hard”…. But you want more. You cannot blame him for being tired. And faking orgasms only perpetuates the problem. Again that’s on you.
It drives me crazy bc if you were a man saying this, the responses undoubtedly would be to stop watching porn and quite using the death grip during masturbation.
That may or may not be the problem. But the reason why that can be the problem is because the body gets conditioned to a certain type of stimulation to a point where it only responds to that kind of stimulation. For men that can be death grip. For women that can be sex toys. So you have to disassociate from it and let your body gradually start to reconnoiter forms of stimulation.
But none of these things are necessarily your problem. Maybe or maybe not. For women more so than men, the brain plays a bigger role… generally. And that’s a whole different realm. So the easy thing to say is be in the moment. Shut your brain off to everything else. Focus on what’s happening etc. Maybe. But also easier said than done.
Knowing that you are this way puts a lot of pressure on and even your partner. Erectile dysfunction for men is a symptom of this problem and this also what’s happening to you.
Have you always been this way?
If not, was it this way in the beginning of your relationship?
What turns you on?
In the past if there have been times where you were satisfied in a relatively shorter time, why did it happen those times? What was mental state? What was the physical situation and feeling?
My point is there is so much to consider. You can decide to give in, turn off your thoughts and genuinely be prepared to be ok with whatever happens. Enjoy what your partner is feeling and loose yourself in that. It means no pressure on you to achieve anything. Sometimes you find yourself getting there too.
Stop faking it. He thinks you are satisfied. The only person who truly suffers from that is you. Yeah he might have a bruised ego but he’ll try harder, as long as you’re not blaming him. And rightfully so in this case. He’s ego will be hit harder when he finds out that you’re faking.
At first it sounds like you’re saying he finishes too quickly “and then he’s done” but then you say “it starts to get sore” which means he he’s been going for a while. After that you want him to use say a dildo and he does it less and less. Well probably because that’s a sign that he wasn’t enough. When truly it’s not him. So don’t blame him. Reverse that scenario. He generally does not finish but you are and so he asked you to use his flashlight masturbator and this happens all the time. You wouldn’t like it either after a while.
Another option would be to see a therapist who specializes in these sort of things. Maybe by yourself or with him. But professional help can be just what need be this is a real issue for men and women but the reasons vary so drastically per person.
Good luck whatever you do!!
What makes you think someone else out there would be as willing to go down on you for an extended period of time as your boyfriend of 3 years?
Don’t assume they grass is greener on the other side.
Go see a specialist maybe. It sounds like You are not satisfied sexually in general and Your partner choice has little to do with it…
Anti depressants does that. May be you want to change that.
What’s your idea of foreplay? Is it licking here, sucking there, nibbling everywhere? Try a sensual massage. Somehow massaging my thighs always lead to him massaging other things. Also one commentator said you may have overstimulated your clit and I agree. I used to have to tell my husband not to focus on the clit but massage the lips too. It’s the build up, the excitement that sends me over the edge.
Not sure if you’re into getting high or not but a couple hits off of a vape before hand makes both of us way more sensitive. It’s out of this world good!!
Sounds like a you problem? Also don’t fake orgasms, so dishonest and disgusting to lie to a partner like that.
This Might be a redundant question, but have you guys tried using lube? It was a game changer for us.
Also, sex(intimacy) is more about the mind than the body. Are you sure you are completely in the moment while being intimate with your bf? We tried therapy, and that helped her open up to me, and we were able to enjoy the process more together. Maybe if you can afford therapy, this is something you can consider doing (my wife went for individual therapy).
Are you on antidepressants? They make it much less sensitive down there..
Either way there is a gel you can buy for before. It makes things way more sensitive. Should be able to get it at any adult shop.
Read come as you are by Emily Nagoski. Life changing
What do you fantasize about?
What helps you feel emotionally satisfied?
I’ve dated a variety of women, some needed a laundry list to get off (hand sanitizer, no roommates, blinds drawn, low lights, before eating, and more) while others can get off 10-12x in one sitting.
My current gf typically gets off once reasonably quickly but gets overly sensitive and doesn’t want to go for more.
If you’ve been doing the same stuff forever, maybe try new stuff. Maybe try more foreplay. Maybe dress up for him or vice versa.
I used to have this issue but I realized I can finish a second time a lot faster than I can finish for the first time. Sometimes before sex I’ll get myself off first so then when I actually get to the act I can finish faster.
I don’t think it’s entirely your bfs fault, maybe he’s just as frustrated as you. Having to constantly put in work each time and not having any success can get mentally draining even being a giver and lover of sex. We’re human. Fingering, eating or sucking after a long period especially if your going 30 min with constant stimuli, it can get very tiring/straining. Even when I masterbate for a long time and can’t get there I’m wiped out lol honestly practicing being in a different head space (watch erotica or read erotica before), more foreplay (teasing, touching, kissing) maybe stop masterbating for a bit? Maybe try different positions. Try to create a sexy environment (music, low lights).
I’ll share my advice from someone in the opposite position
Me(m34) currently dealing with death grip from years of masterbation and got out of a 10 year relationship where sex was horrible I had to do every a very specific way and don’t touch most places or it would cause problems.
I’m in fairly ok shape and because I am so attentive I am able to get whichever woman I’m with off at least 2 times. My current girlfriend(f34), I think the most was 10+ during a 2 hour session one night. Ironically we have a baby together now and she tell me after sex every time “I’ll stop taking my birth control right now” 😂.
Due to my masterbation habits and I can assume it is my horrible relationship with sex with my ex I am unable to come from sex.
My advice is
1- you need to sit and talk to your man about your issue and come up with a game plan.
2 – stop faking, your ticking your man into doing things you dont like, also us guys are not dumb we will catch on. Cum tastes different and multiple squirting is a thing
2 – I would say remove toys from sex completely and add lube understand you’re not gonna cum for a while.
3- Both of you need to start working out. 20mins is nothing.
How I applied the advice above.
I sat with my girlfriendand explained that I knew she would like for me to naturally cum inside her from sex and I want to also. So I decided to not masturbate anymore or watch porn, I asked that she help me a bit more with getting used to her touching me vs me doing it.
One time I was crazy horny and she was scrolling on the Internet I asked if she could give me a hand job, she started giving me one while scrolling for like 2mins and sucked it a bit(of course I didn’t cum). The goal isn’t to cum but to get used to her touching me vs myself. We are both on the same page and she is helping over this issue.
Talk to your man and get more involved in sex with him. Idk figure out if you’re a sub or a Dom. Unless your lying about something the problem is with us, and your partner is willing to work with you so work with them. We don’t support pillow princesses only good girls and mommies.
So your situation is common based on my past experiences and a few friends I have. There are just some women that take a long time to get off and there really isn’t a solution to shorten the time it takes.
Stimulation is strictly on you and it’s just like men, there are some men who need an hour to get off and then there’s some that can finish in 1 minute.
What’s frustrating is when two people are the opposite and it creates the situation you’re in now. The things I’ve done to address it in the past when I’ve been with women that needed an hour or more to get off is constant stimulation even before clothed came off. I’m not a three pump chump, but an hour or more no I either will finish or dick goes soft because it’s not enough stimulation for me at that point so intimate touching, caressing, etc was what I did to get it started. Outside the bedroom too to help heighten the mood, ya know driving and my hand would rub and provide clit stimulation over leggings or under a skirt. By the time we got home then fingers inserted or going down on her, etc.
The fact that he’s sounding like he’s giving up creates a new challenge because he’s probably getting to the point where he feels defeated. 3 years and he’s needing to put in more work to get you off has him feeling inadequate so he doesn’t want to try anymore.
Are you struggling with libido? I honestly don’t think it should take that long with and without your partner to get off. I would get your hormones checked by the doctor.
Along with that maybe try something new to make the intimacy different along with getting yourself in the right space. I saw other commenters suggest reading smut beforehand. You can also look into different kinks maybe?
Do you exercise? You may want to start adding 30 mins at least every other day so you have plenty of blood flow going on.
For me it helps if he gives me a massage first.
Maybe you aren’t sexually attracted to him anymore (or never really were?). So even though the mechanics are there, it’s not happening.
31 and calling himself old, lol.
Go see your doctor, that isn’t normal.
In my first relationship and as a guy this literally destroyed my confidence for years until i found out that it wasn’t me at all. I haven’t had any issues satisfying any woman since, and my insecurity actually made me very very good at it because I made myself get better in every respect. I guess I’m not really helping I just understand the nightmare your partner must be in. If you’re gonna stick it through together you should at least make it understood that it’s not his fault. Maybe then you can at least work together toward finding a resolution. Or see a doctor or an expert. The position you’re both in is unfair to both of you. Wish you the best.