So, picture this: you finally find the perfect roommate, your absolute best friend, and everything is going swimmingly until… she decides to bring a bird into the mix.
I mean, come on, I explicitly told her NOT to get a bird because I can’t handle loud, ceaseless noise. And what does she do? Buys a budgie that can screech for hours on end. It’s like living in a wild jungle instead of a cozy home!
Now, here I am, avoiding the kitchen and contemplating heat stroke just to escape the squawking. And to top it off, she’s considering getting the bird a companion to keep it quiet. Newsflash: two noisy birds are not better than one, folks.
But, here’s the kicker – she’s convinced that surrendering the bird would be a tragedy because it needs a pal for happiness. I get it, I really do, but what about OUR happiness⁉️
So, please, help a friend out. How do I handle this bird bonanza diplomatically before I lose my marbles completely? Drop your thoughts below and let’s figure this out together! 🐦🚫 #BirdNoMore
You need to tell her that the living situation is going to change because you will not live with the bird. Who is on the lease?
They’re not meant to be alone as a single bird.
She needs to rehome the bird or move.
Is this even allowed in your lease?
I couldn’t live with a noisy bird. Try talking some reason to your friend. Good luck
I think at this point the soft-touch is unnecessary.
“Look, we told you not to do this and you did it anyways. We hate it, it’s ruining ‘being home’ and that’s, any way you slice it, fucking unfair. As far as I’m concerned, you not only created this problem, but did in about as disrespectful way as you could manage. Now you’ve imposed on my peace and happiness in my own home and are trying to make me guilty for expecting you to fix it? That’s absurd. You have to fix this, and quite frankly, you have to fix it yesterday. We’ve been patient, we’ve been kind, but at this point you’ve full on decided that what you want is more important than what we want, your happiness here is more important than ours, and you either need to address that right-fucking-now or we need to make plans to go our separate ways because I will not live with or tolerate that level of self-righteous disrespect.”
Make clear that you are mad, disappointed and hurt. Make clear that her actions had a direct effect on you, that you warned her they would, and that “inconsiderate” is about the kindest way you could possibly put it. There’s no compromise here, there’s no “but what about my feelings”, she was out of line and she doesn’t get a seat at the bargaining table until she gets back the fuck in line. Get rid of the bird.
Are you willing to commit theft? Steal and regime the bird and pay her the value of the bird.
I feel for you. I will tell you her bird does need a companion. Does she keep a radio on for it during the day? Or television? Even very softly it’ll give the bird something to interact with. I would suggest that she looks up a woman on Instagram. Or even you for the matter. Her handle is @thegreenbirdbrigade
I could be spelling it wrong and there may be some dashes in between.
Please whatever you do do not surrender the bird or kidnap the bird. The bird will not be able to live outside on it so. I spent two months last year in the cold fall trying to catch a budgie. The budgie didn’t know how to come to me and finally the day that I was so excited he landed and I thought he surrendered to me was the day that he died on my cold lawn. I requested the help of many people it’s very hard to catch a bird that has been in captivity once it’s let out into the wild they get freaked out and they don’t know what to do. So please promise me you won’t do anything to hurt the bird. I’m not saying that you will hurt the bird but part of my language. You’re very sweet and kind for putting up with your friend. It should have been asked before the bird was gotten to do so. I know what times it can be very ear piercing. But there are things that can be done to interact with the bird. I know it’s so expensive now to even survive on our own anywhere without having a roommate or multiple roommates it’s ridiculous even if you find a place that is in your budget, the cost of food, electric, car payments, gas, clothing, keeps going up understand you’re not alone. We’re not supposed to work our entire lives. But seems like that’s what the man wants us to do. And I’m not talking about anyone in particular I’m talking about the system. It sucks. I’m 39. I will never own my own house. If I even get financed for one I will never own it myself and then the state will take it. It’s ridiculous that’s what happens to my Nana she lived to be 100 the state took her house to pay for her nursing home. Which is insane because that was also to be paid for in my grandad’s pension because he was in the Navy for life. Forgive me for getting off track. I’m also using talk to text so then I start blabbing.
Don’t ruin your friendship. Friendship is very hard to find now. Loyal friend are very very hard to find. Now a loyal friend was being selfish and got a bird. But I do believe that from what you said the bird does help her emotionally. And they do. They’re amazing we have a little guy that We rescued he is the love of my life besides my husband. He’s so happy every morning when he wakes up he brings so much joy and he calms us.
Our baby can be loud at times, but he is the smartest, most loving, little guy that I’ve ever met with feathers. I grew up with English budgies as well. Check out that Instagram page. The green bird brigade. I think she also has a tic tok page as well. She’s very kind and I don’t know what area you live in but she can give you a lot of training help. Also advice. Hang in there so sorry for writing a novel.
I had several budgies when I was growing up and I don’t remember any of them being particularly noisy. They were very sweet birds.
Canaries, on the other hand, sang at the top of their lungs frequently until they reached some kind of pitch that resonated with my brain. It was unsettling. When my dad couldn’t take it anymore, we gave one to a neighbor, but we could still hear him down the street. (Good ol’ George.)
One thing that helped with the canary noise was covering their cages with a blanket. You might try that once in a while to get a break during work hours, etc.
I’m not a bird expert but a second bird may help. They’re very social and when alone they scream looking for companions. Our friends/neighbors did the same and the second bird actually calmed the first. They realized the squeaking was because the bird was depressed
As a bird “owner” (truly I think he owns me) this is infuriating to read. Your roommate went about this in the worst possible way. Birds are incredibly high maintenance, EVERYONE in the household needs to be on board when getting one. Teflon, perfumes, cleaning products, etc are all super toxic to birds, but I’m guessing none of you are getting rid of those things because you didn’t want the bird. And they are flock animals, they need companionship and to be let out of their cage at least 4 hours a day. Your roommate has put this bird in a terrible position by putting it in an environment where it cannot thrive. You’d think someone who had birds in the past would have done their research and been more responsible. It’s fucking sad.
Let the bird escape when she’s not home one day.
> but that seems to be telling her that my happiness is more important than hers
She has no problem putting her happiness over yours, her partner’s, and your roommate’s.
Stop just bending over and taking it. Stand up for yourself! Put yourself first for once!
You CAN NOT bring a bird into a shared home without everyone on board! Unless it makes the lightest, tiniest little squeaks, then maybe, but most birds are NOISY AS FUCK. And most birds make really annoying squawks! She needs to take it back were she got it or re-home it to a good home!
I LOVE birds and yet would HATE having one in my home!
Anyone who brings a non silent or not completely contained pet into shared home without everyone’s permission is an ASSHOLE.
Cute bird, would hate if something happened to it.
Maybe this living arrangement was a bit too messy? It sounds like you’re all in one polyamorous relationship, why not move out with the other quiet roommate?
Get a cat.
Move out
The most diplomatic way would be if the bird, one day, finds its cage unlocked and the window unlocked at the same time.
Parakeets/budgies are the worst. Messy loud and territorial.
I had budgies for many years. Sure, a companion will calm them down, but you will still hear them.
They sometimes will have a screaming competition. Plus they will have to be let out of their cage for a few hours and it might get loud for a little bit, until they just chill and are the cutest.
Honestly… Two will be likely better than one (if they get along…)
But frankly, your friends a jackass. I am so sorry.
Express your disappointment in how you didn’t expect her to make it so apparent that it’s just her home and she does as she pleases.
How can people be so inconsiderate and not get annoyed with noise. Today I couldn’t keep a bird. My adhd is too rampant.
I’ve raised budgies and had a flock of 11 of them. They chirped and sang but never screeched. If your budgie is screeching all day, it’s not happy. My birds had a huge aviary and were free to fly the entire room all day. They ate like kings with fresh vegetables daily and had plenty of toys. They had regular vet visits.
Does she keep it in a small cage? Does it get time outside of the cage to fly around? Does she feed it fresh vegetables or just seed? The bird is probably bored and lonely. If she’s only feeding it seed, it’s probably hungry and weak. She should have at least gotten it a friend, because birds are social animals and not meant to be alone. If the bird came from Petco it will be difficult to tame, so I doubt she has enough of a bond with the bird for it not to be lonely. She probably shouldn’t have a bird, because most people don’t properly take care of them. I feel so sorry for this bird.
I can’t stand bird owners. They claim to live birds but keep them caged in their whole lives and perpetual the industry of caged bird capture and breeding.
That said, you should hold a house meeting and discuss it and then vote. Democracy. If more people vote she rehomes the bird then she rehomes the bird. If she has an issue with it she can move out and find a new place for her zoo.
Budgies in particular do poorly without another bird, but that’s not really what’s important here.
Your friend went into this without any real planning or understanding of what it takes to own a bird. You absolutely CANNOT get birds without everyone in the household on board if for no other reason than birds are like flying hamsters with *slightly* more will to live.
Using non-stick baking or cooking equipment can kill them. Some perfumes can kill them. Most cleaning products will kill them. If it’s not an actual plant and you can smell it, it is probably bad for them. My mom gets a set of replacement filters for the air purifier in the bird room every summer because of the California wildfires. *We live multiple states away from California.*
Cats shouldn’t be allowed in the same room as birds as their saliva is very toxic to birds. Also, they stress birds the fuck out and birds can absolutely stress themselves to death.
I’m not particularly familiar with budgies, but most parrots need to be kept a fair bit warmer than most people. This can be extremely uncomfortable for human residents to deal with. Also, spring time means *war.* Gods help you if you don’t figure out how to let a horny bird down gently. I couldn’t and I still have the scar (literally).
All that being said, I do have one possible solution for her if she really, really wants to keep the bird: sound proof her room (or a separate room in/near the common area if there is one) and keep it there. This will require further financial investment on her part as well as changes to her living habits, but it is far better than keeping the bird in a common area and hoping that no one uses disinfectant spray when cleaning.
There are temporary soundproofing options that *should* work well enough to minimize or possibly even negate the noise problem.
Regardless, I think a level of direct honesty is more necessary here than gentle diplomacy. She made an impulsive decision and multiple living things are suffering because of it. That’s on her and it’s her job to fix it.