#FamilyDynamics #ParentingChallenges #BathroomEtiquette
Hey everyone! I’ve got a bit of a situation I’m hoping to get some opinions on. So, here’s the deal:
I’m a 15-year-old girl, and during this family trip, I’ve been sharing a house with my older cousin (she’s 31) and her two boys, who are 5 and 7. Now, here’s the problem that’s been bugging me 🥴:
– **Bathroom Habits**: For the past five days, I’ve noticed that her kids seem to have no clue about flushing the toilet after using it. I mean, I’m constantly walking into the bathroom, ready for my skincare routine or a quick bathroom break, only to find… well, let’s just say, the toilet’s been left as a not-so-fun surprise from the previous user. 😳
– **Talking It Out**: I’ve tried talking to them, asking them to flush when they finish, but it’s like talking to a wall sometimes! And when I bring this up to my cousin, she just shrugs it off or gets defensive, saying “they’re just kids,” or that it’s not my problem since they’re not my children. But honestly, it affects me when the bathroom smells awful and we are sharing the space with a bunch of other family members!
So, I can’t help but wonder if I have the right to feel frustrated here or if I should just let it slide because, well, they are just kids after all. 🤔
**Possible Solutions**:
– **Gentle Reminders**: Maybe setting up a fun reminder system for the kids could help? Something visual, like a chart or a colorful poster in the bathroom, teaching them to remember the flushing step!
– **Talk to My Cousin**: Perhaps I need to have a more serious chat with my cousin, explaining how we’re all sharing the space and how spinning this into a fun learning moment could actually benefit everyone.
But I’d really love to hear from you all! Have you dealt with similar situations, either as a kid or a parent? What did you do? Do you think it’s unreasonable for me to expect her kids to know how to flush the toilet by now? Let’s discuss! 😊
NTA lmao. That sounds nasty and she should probably teach her kids before someone other than you gets annoyed at her for it. 💀
if she wont somebody needs to! at 5 and 7 they should easily be able to do that themselves its simple laziness from her end in my opinion
NTA. Ewww lol Transitioning to using the toilet should entail learning to flush. It should be a habit almost immediately.
NTA! I knew how to flush toilets before I hit 5. By 7, kids should definitely know how to flush toilets. Willing to bet his not flushing when he’s going to the bathroom at school has been commented on, but not dealt with because no adult knows it’s him or otherwise can’t prove it’s him just yet.
What’s funny is it’s your cousin that is leaving the chili to marinate. NTA people should be housebreaking their toddlers especially when they have started using the toilet.
NTA idk why her kids don’t flush. Flushing was the best part of potty training for my son. He loved flushing. I wouldn’t let him unless he actually used the toilet. It was decoys motivating factor for him.
Some moms just have very low expectations for boys, which turns into a self-fulfilling prediction.
The problem with “they don’t know better” is that she’s the parent and it’s her job to teach them. NTA, mamma’s gross.
# OP, if you really think making this post questioning if your the asshole, I seriously feel sorry for you…
**NO! YNTA, PERIOD!** Your family should know better than to let their kids leave a mess like that! If my family or their children kept doing this in my home, they’d never be welcome back, no exceptions. There’s no excuse for it!
NTA. What the hell? That is so disgusting. The whole reason they don’t know better is because she never instilled it in them. This should have gone hand in hand with the potty training. It’s literally just 1 extra step. Those kids are going to be labelled as the gross kids in school as soon as the other kids realize it’s them that aren’t flushing. You are not having high expectations, these are plain expectations you would expect from a civilized human being.
NTA
WTF is wrong with your cousin…. i have a close friend whos 3 and knows you need to flush…doesnt mean she can do it herself but certainly knows the concept of flushing and always washing your hands
holy geez
NTA
Crazy, but true.
I was visiting neighbor when his adult son (34-35) stopped by to take a shower.
I went to the bathroom after he left and he hadn’t flushed.
It was so shocking to me that I instinctively said, “WTF”.
My neighbor walks in, flushes it and acts like it totally normal a grown ass man didn’t send his #1 and #2 down the drain.
NTA. I’d start asking them every time I saw them leave the bathroom “did you flush?” “did you wash your hands?” “with soap?” I’d be loud enough that cousin could hear me asking too. Some kids don’t like the loud sound of the flush but they can learn to get over it. It needs to be done.
NTA
“They’re kids, they don’t know any better”
As the parent, it’s literally her responsibility to be teaching them. 🙄 5 and 7 are old enough to flush a toilet.
NTA. If they are not flushing, I doubt they are washing their hands after. This is just lazy parenting, and the mother is setting the kids up to failure and shame in the future when they are older and someone will say something publicaly and humiliate them.
5 and 7 year olds are perfectly capable of flushing, but they’re also good at forgetting. But this should be automatic – you go, then you wipe, then you flush. One wonders whether they’re also skipping the wipe.
NTA
Go ahead and get them the Daniel Tiger Potty Time! Interactive Board Book. Based on an episode about this. Works great. When you are like 3.
Super NTA. This is part of living in civil society, that you meet basic expectations (and raise your children as such) and hygiene in shared spaces is high on the list of those.
NTA. Flushing should be taught during potty training. It’s potty, wipe, flush, wash hands. Simple. Call the boys, both of them together, when this happens, and then tell them to flush the toilet. Ask them of they wiped when they last went potty too. And ask them to wash their hands. The last part is for a just-in-case thing but also because kids get into gross stuff all the time anyway. But make it a habit for them. You know their mom is too lax about it, so you start. I know it’s not your job, but it needs to be taught and quickly. The boys will also be more likely to do it if there’s a fun soap for them to use every time or they get a sticker for a “reward notebook” (if they collect x number of stickers, they get ______). It’ll take their brains back to potty training patterns and they will pick it up quicker. Honestly, the 5yo probably is only a couple years past full potty training at best. Boys are slower at picking it up in general (I don’t know why but boys statistically are 1-1.5 years older than girls when then become fully potty trained). Another thing, I have 2 sons, 15 and 16, and they still forget to flush sometimes… I’m glad the have a different bathroom than ours. But they are only here half the time (blended family) so sometimes we don’t know about it until we happen to pass by their bathroom, which is on the opposite side of the house 🤢. My husband also doesn’t flush #1 if his goes in the middle of the night because he thinks flushing will wake me up… 🤢. Boys are disgusting all around! As a girl, you will learn this (they also don’t clean the underside of the toilet seat when they clean the bathroom… 🤬 ).
NTA
Kids that age are completely capable of learning to flush. She sounds like she doesn’t want to parent.
NTA. You are right to be disgusted. You typically learn to flush while being potty trained. Next time call the boys over… “hey 7yr old come here, follow the me, you forgot to flush. “ every time they don’t flush make them do it.
NTA. Start texting her pics of it if she doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal.
NTA. I don’t know why but some kids just suck at it and need constant, loving reminders. My youngest, wipe, flush, wash her hands, routine, clock work, no reminders. Other one, I have tried reminders, signs, and consequences and we are sitting around 80% consistency. I would not bat an eye at someone reminding them and would appreciate the reinforcement.
NTA.
I teach kindergarten in my schedule. Kids are 4-5. As per provincial law, kids have to be able to use the toilet independently to attend public school.
Your cousin’s kids have definitely missed that milestone. The cousin needs to get on that ASAP.
NTA. If they don’t know any better it’s her fault, that’s her job to teach them. Suggest random treats or outings, but only if the loo is flushed. Oh no, it’s not, I guess no treats. Also if they don’t flush they for sure are not washing their hands.
Your cousin ridiculous. Ask another adult to speak to her and the boys.