#TrustIssues #Communication #RelationshipAdvice
Hey everyone, I’m feeling a bit anxious about my situation and could really use your thoughts. 😊 So here’s the deal: I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. While I genuinely have no reason not to trust her, my past experiences with cheating have left me a little on edge. In fact, the way she’s been bringing up her ex a lot has me comparing myself to him, and it kind of gnaws at me.
Recently, I went on a business trip (talk about bad timing!), and right around the same time, she was communicating with her ex. From what she told me, she had messaged him about needing to let him go to move forward with us. It was really nice for her to share that with me, and I appreciated it—it felt like a gesture of trust. But here’s where it gets confusing:
- She turned off her location for a few days while I was away, not just once but twice.
- During that time, our communication felt distant, as if she was pulling away.
- Things eventually normalized, but it left me feeling a bit uneasy.
Now that I’m back and about to see her, I’m torn. Should I ask her why she turned her location off, or would that be crossing a line? 🤔 Here’s what I’m really wrestling with:
- Past Trauma: Having been cheated on before, these feelings of insecurity can surface easily.
- Communication: Open dialogue is crucial, but I don’t want to invade her privacy either.
- Trust Building: I want to build trust, but I also need to express my feelings without putting her on the defensive.
What do you all think? Is it okay to bring this up as a way to clear the air, or should I just let it go? Have any of you faced similar situations? What strategies worked for you to navigate trust and communication without making things awkward?
Looking forward to hearing your experiences! 💬
Talk about it all in person (not text) but make a decision from the conversation about whether you actually trust her or not.
If you don’t then break up. Don’t keep dating with doubts.
She’s still not over her ex. She’s still in communication with him. Have some respect for yourself buddy. She’s not committed to you. You’re a rebound.
If you don’t have confidence in the relationship move on and forward.
The fact that your girlfriend talks about her ex a lot after being with you for half a year already is the real red flag.
Sure you can mention to her that you noticed her location was turned off and were wondering if there was any special reason. It’s not an invasion of privacy…dating is all about finding out more about a person.
The fact that she keeps bringing up her ex is a red flag.
You should be straightforward and ask her if she’s over her ex or not. If she’s not, then she shouldn’t be with you because it’s not fair to everyone involved.
You deserve to be with someone who loves you, and if your girlfriend isn’t sure, then you both should let each other go.
Hey OP! Im just gonna add on here from most of the comments I read and I just gotta say, trust your gut friend. If she isn’t over her EX it’s not worth the time. And from your past, it’s just gonna add more worry, and negative emotions for yourself and the relationship. End of the day, YOUR not the problem, its her. This has nothing to do with YOU, it’s her and she’s the one at fault for being in a relationship when she hasn’t moved on from her past.
Shame on her for stringing you along, when she shouldn’t even be in a relationship. Anybody would be furious, done or leave the relationship being in the spot your in, if not then eventually they’d regret not doing it sooner. Hope this helps. Remember its not you thats the problem or done anything wrong…
I genuinely do not understand the sharing of locations….seems a little possessive to me, but I guess I am getting old
Anyone who talks about their exe a lot can’t quit thinking about them. When my ex gf was doing that she was telling me how much she hated him right up to the time she slept with him. You should absolutely bring up her turning her location off. Also ask why she needs to reconnect with her ex. No, I’ll never be in a relationship with somebody who wants to bring her past into our future. Leave that crap behind.
You can ask but she probably not going to tell you the truth
You already know why she turned it off.
Just be straight up with her let her know how you feel. If she doesn’t respect it then kick her to the curb simple as that. When a person keeps bringing up their ex that’s a big turn off, know your worth!
Have some respect for yourself and leave her because what she did was disrespectful and untrustworthy.
She turned off location services so you couldn’t see what she was up to (lying) and was actively communicating with her ex.
Do you trust her now? Betting the answer is no so why would you believe anything she says now?
Don’t stay with someone who will openly lie to you, shield where they are from you the moment you have to leave town for a few days.
Go through her phone messages/calls. Then look through her social media messages.
Updateme after you let her know that you respect yourself enough to not be rebound.
dump her, she banged him
When somebody shows you who they truly are, believe them the first time
Honestly, Im not a fan of location sharing to “prove” you are being faithful. Either you trust someone, or you dont.
In your particular case, there are two things you need to think about:
1) You have been cheated on in the past. That has zero to do with your current girlfriend. If you are still worried about this because of your ex, get therapy before dating someone new and dont get into a committed relationship with someone you dont trust.
2) Your GF sounds like she went right from one relationship into another. Her saying she had to let him go is proof that she hasnt yet. How much time was there between the end of her previous relationship and her start of a relationship with you? Dont get into a relationship with someone who is newly broken up. Chances are, they haven’t fully processed the end yet, and you will be a rebound guy.
That’s sketchy. No such thing as a coincidence
Why would you even ask her lmao, she’s not gunna tell you the truth
Why is she turning it off at all? Might wanna do some further investigation, because if she did break your trust, what’s to stop her from lying to your face about it? Find more proof.
Checking her phone without her permission…if she’s doing untrustworthy things, she doesn’t deserve the trust you give. There should be nothing so important as a secret held in text messages from others that scream invasion of privacy…if you want something kept a secret, why the hell would you type it out and keep a record of it…tell them over voice…and if it really should be a secret, why the hell are you telling others about it at all?
Noone cares about normal conversations with friends. What people care about is the proof their partner has showing betrayal.
If you haven’t ask. You already know.
Turn your feelings off and look at this rationally. What does this look like. Take all your emotions out if this. Make the easy decision for yourself and your mental health
> She brings up her ex a lot and I feel like I’m constantly comparing myself to this person.
It sounds like *she’s* the one constantly comparing you to him.
It would be weird if someone never ever mentioned anything in their past, but bringing them up a lot (either to complain or to make comparisons) tells you where someone’s head’s at.
>Right after she sent him a message saying she had to let him go in order to move onto me.
Even if this is sincere, this just isn’t the verbiage you use with someone who’s cleanly out of your life while you’re in a relationship. This is, at minimum, an emotional affair.
p.s. location sharing is creepy and weird AF and it’s especially weird for someone you’ve been dating for only six months. Just, *why*? Does one of you have a medical condition that needs to be monitored at all times, or work in a remote area or dangerous urban environment?
That’s the thing about anxiety and cheating. Putting up all sorts of rules and demands and controls doesn’t work if the person is going to cheat. All they do is feed resentment on the part of the person who is being controlled, and feed the paranoia and anxiety of the person who’s imposing them. And as you found out in this case, it doesn’t stop the thing you want it to stop.
You know why…
Any relationship that is built on tracking each other’s position via phone rather than trust and communication is a relationship I wouldn’t want to be in.
You know, turn off yours. Then block her on everything.
There are three major relationship lies that shouldn’t be tolerated: Lies by _*omission*_, Lies by _*commission*_, and lies by _*exclusion*_. The first is when the thing left out intentionally has the potential for loss of trust and respect. The second is to divert attention from the shining gleaming evidence, and the last is to make sure that you don’t get access to the truth about betrayal.
Best next move? Find someone in whom you’ve so much confidence that your only reason for wanting to know where she may be is to go to her or send help if the circumstances indicate she needs it.
Yes bring it up. Dont accept non answers
Updateme!
Move on bro she’s stuck on this guy.
>She brings up her ex a lot
She’s not your gf if she has her exes name continuously in her mouth.
Especially if you’re 6months in (which is supposed to be honeymoon-esque). I’d leave. Let her be free to run back to her ex, and be reminded why they’re exes to begin with.
She went and said her goodbyes to the ex one last time to get it out of her system. You need to leave this toxic relationship and find someone not hung up on their ex.
” She brings up her ex a lot …”
What?! Why would a woman in a new relationship ever do that? Just based on that alone she’s cheating dude and clearly not over him.
You a weak man
Lmao 6 months and doing this? Cmon dawg.
Brother, the fact that you are checking her location 6 mos into a relationship by itself is enough to say just end it. But in addition, you have a communist rally of red flags here! It sucks when a promising new relationship doesn’t work out, but it’s even worse after years of commitment and, god forbid, children.
It’s plain to everyone here, and even you tho you’re in denial, that she’s not over her ex. Save yourself the drama and heartache and just end it when you get back.
Fake another time of you leaving town for a few days, then either you follow her or you hire someone to follow her.
She was just having some closure sex with her ex-BF. No biggie. Probably didn’t use condoms.
Anyways, time for you to have some of that post-breakup closure sex with her.
She probably still wants him but he doesn’t want her! So she not committed to you. The next guy will come a steal her away without you noticing.
> Right after she sent him a message saying she had to let him go in order to move on
This should’ve been done before you guys started dating. She’s clearly not over him, and I wouldn’t be the least bit shocked to learn she met up with him while you were gone.
No, you should trust your gut.
She went to Pound Town with her xBF. You are the rebound BF. Don’t even confront. Just drop her a text saying you know she is not over her xBF and that you are moving along.
Backs are getting blown
I’d say that’s a red flag. If she’s still talking to her ex, then she’s not over him most likely.
You are being played. Pop smoke.