#parenting #stepdad #medicalbill #responsibility #accident #financialstress
Facing the Dilemma
Last week, I found myself in a tough situation that left me questioning if I was in the wrong. My 8-year-old son and his stepdad ended up in the ER due to a playful accident that resulted in injuries. While my son needed stitches on his forehead, his stepdad broke his ulnar, leading to a hefty medical bill of $3,000 for the latter. As someone who had already met my deductible, my bill was only $50.
Embracing Financial Responsibilities
When my ex-partner asked me to cover $1,000 of his husband’s medical expenses as I supposedly “taught” our son that jumping on people is acceptable, I hesitated. Despite being financially stable, I couldn’t wrap my head around being held accountable for what seemed like an unfortunate accident that could happen to anyone living with an energetic 8-year-old boy.
Setting Boundaries
As a parent, it’s crucial to understand the fine line between taking responsibility for our children’s actions and being unfairly burdened with unforeseeable circumstances. While accidents are an inherent part of life, it’s essential to establish boundaries and communicate openly about expectations, especially in blended family dynamics where roles and responsibilities may vary.
Practical Solutions
- Engage in constructive conversations with all parties involved to address concerns and find mutual solutions.
- Consider the financial implications and communicate transparently about individual responsibilities to avoid misunderstandings.
- Seek support from legal or financial advisors to navigate challenging situations and make informed decisions.
Remember, being a responsible parent means prioritizing the well-being of your children while also advocating for your own rights and boundaries. No one should be made to feel guilty for an accidental mishap that could happen to anyone. Stay true to your values and beliefs, even in the face of external pressures.
INFO – is it true that you taught your son to jump on people this way? Also, what’s your custody arrangement?
YTA for teaching your kid to do dangerous, stupid bathroom tricks. You really let your kid climb on the bathroom sink while wet? You really encourage him to jump on people? That is some seriously hardcore irresponsible parenting.
It wasn’t an accident. You caused this by recklessly and stupidly treating your child as a cute pet instead of a human being who needs to learn socialization skills.
YTA for teaching him to jump off the sink. His step dad had no idea and was totally caught off guard. YTA for your nonchalant attitude. $1K is not even half of the bill. Pay it and quit being a pompous I’m doing quite well financially cheap asshole.
YTA, you taught a kid to do dumb shit and other people paid the price. Pay your share.
Info:
Did you teach your kid it was okay to get onto the sink (especially after a bath)?
If so, then YTA. Even if he didn’t jump, he could still slip and fall.
But this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t on the sink in the first place.
YTA, I’d be surprised if you still have a husband after this. He helps you take care of kids from some other man and this is how you treat him?
Ho-ly shit that’s dangerous. You’re NTA for not paying step dad’s bills hut you definitely are for teaching you kid to climb on bathroom fixtures and jump around in a bathroom after a bath. That’s so dangerous. He’s wet and everything is slippery and he’s climbing on sinks? Jumping around like a maniac? Head trauma is no joke and he hit his hard enough to spit his forehead open. This isn’t even a “he could have been seriously injured” he WAS seriously injured. I really hope the gravity of that hits you.Â
Also, get him to a specialist and make damned sure his squishy little brain is ok
I’m not sure about this.
NTA, because you didn’t cause the accident directly……but YTA, because what you do with your son ***is*** dangerous. Just because you catch him, doesn’t mean his Stepdad was even aware this was a game, or was even ready to catch him. Bathroom surfaces are an incredibly hard surface for an eight-year old’s skull to come into contact with. You seem pretty dismissive of the fact that your son could have been horribly injured.
I think you might have been better off restricting this game to just the both of you and somehow getting the message across to your son, that it’s your game and it is dangerous, and not to be done with anyone else. Or just ***not*** doing something that let’s face it, if you or he slip, will result in, your son probably cracking his head open and not just 10 stitches, like it was this time, luckily for him.
You make no mention of your son’s condition after the accident. Like was he, okay, was he shaken? How is his stepdad doing? Or was your deductible at the forefront of your mind?
If the 1K is no hair off your nose, why not pay it? Instead of risking becoming persona non grata to your ex wife and her husband? Won’t that complicate things for you? Because you ***did*** teach him to do that? It’s not like he left his toys in the hallway and his Stepdad tripped. ‘Shit happens’ applies to a situation like that. But y***ou taught him jumping from a sink was a game***…
INFO: Do you intend on stopping this game now that two people have been hurt?
so it would be no skin off your back to help, but you’re choosing not to because you don’t give a shit about other people. got it. yeah YTA and not the brightest for teaching your son to do this and sounds like he’s not making the smartest choices either. that poor man, damn. you really suck lol
Why is an 8 year old climbing cabinets and jumping on people? They’re too big for that and old enough to know better.Â
You are such YTA. Pay the bill, you taught him it was okay to jump. Basically your kid damaged something, that something being a person. You are responsible for your child’s actions
I am stunned that you taught your kid that it’s okay to jump from a height in a room with hard surfaces and water. Are you *trying* to crack his skull?
You owe both an apology
For teaching your son to jump off of sinks, you’ve got a coveted YTA prize. Shit happens when you live with an 8yo boy, and when you don’t teach the 8yo boy reasonable limits for behaviour.
He’s 8 and can learn, but the real question is “can you?”
YTA pay it and be done with it! 1,000 is nothing compared to his stepfather taking care of him when YOU are not!
Here’s the thing, regardless of you teaching/encouraging your son (in) this wildly unsafe practice, as one of the parents of the child, you are liable for damages. He could sue you (and feasibly mom) for the bills and it could get real nasty if you add in pain + suffering. Instead of going the litigious route, they are offering you a sweet deal for just a portion of the actual bill. It would be in your best financial interest to simply pay that out (ask for a written agreement for the purpose!) and then call it a day. He has every legal (and reasonable!) right to sue you for damages. This could end up being an awful court battle for a hell of a lot more money than $1000-not to even include the reasonable risk you face in custody court because you are the instigator of this kind of dangerous behavior pattern with the child. You could stand to lose a hell of a lot more than 1k here if you continue to be a shit about it.
YTA. What you taught your son to do was a disaster waiting to happen the first time someone was unprepared for the jump.
This shit is fake af or you are one delusional dad!
YTA. Your son injured another person. Period.
You owe it to them to help pay for their medical bills. It’s the kind and right thing to do. Especially when they were taking care of your child. And especially when you can afford it!
If someone accidentally hits your car don’t they have a responsibility to pay you for damages? And on top of that YOU allowed your kid to do this very dangerous move with you. So yeah just help out geez.
This is very dangerous and I am sure kid learned his lesson. But seriously, I do think parents should split the bill. Step-dad is now going to have a long recovery over something that should not have ever been allowed. This is not normal behavior. Anyone who allows a child to get away with this is an idiot and caused their child a significant I jury and step-dad is now injured also.
You’re kidding, right? It’s not a lot of money to you, but shit happens? Too bad, so sad? Your kid jumped on a grown man, broke his arm in a fall, and that’s your reaction? And you’re married to the guy whose arm was broken? You can’t even pay a third of his deductible? You can’t be real. YTA.
YTA just simply if a child causes someone injury the parents should split the cost of care so that would be you and mom paying $1500 each. If the situation was reversed and you guys were paying 3k for your son and your ex asked you for half I am most certain you would say stepdad was acting irresponsibly so he should pay, would you not?
YTA.
And I hope stepdad is a bigger and better man than you…bc if I were in his position I’d be tempted to go totally hands-off with your feral kid.
INFO: does stepdad pay any bills for your son? If so, you’re doubly the AH.
YTA. In any other circumstance where your child injures someone else, you as a parent are liable for the damages. If you refuse, they have a lawsuit, definitely for more than $3k in this case. Stepdad has the same rights.
Alongside teaching your child dangerous behavior, you’re also modeling to him how to refuse to take responsibility for something you had a hand in. All in all, bad parenting.
The kid caused the accident which you taught. Stepdad was getting a towel for him so they have some sort of a relationship. Ex only asking for a third of the bill to help out which you say can easily afford. And you turn your back on them. Hmm…
YTA. You have a responsibility to teach your son safety. Your opinion on the matter is irrelevant since you chose to do the opposite of that. You should actually be sued for the stepdad’s entire medical bill since your poor judgment led to his injury. You would be liable for the entire bill if you broke his arm yourself, even by accident, and should be held accountable for doing so by proxy. They’re being lenient and generous by only asking for $1,000.
YTA because you taught and encouraged such stupid and downright dangerous behaviour.Â
You are 100% responsible for what happened and no it was not an accidentÂ
YTA for not teaching your son better.
I’m surprised your son wasn’t badly injured before this incident doing the same thing.
Anyway it’s time for you to tell your son that this game is over. A 8 year old jumping unexpectedly on someone is not a joke. His stepdad could have been injured fatally too, not just your son.
In future, do you really think you’ll be OK knowing that a kid and an adult suffered a fatal accident just because you were stupid enough to not teach your kid basic safety?
YTA for so many things here, Jesus it’s insane an adult would even need to have this explained, what a fuckin ass.
YTA. I don’t know why you put ‘taught’ in quotes. That’s exactly what happened, you taught your son to do a stupid, dangerous thing, and he hurt someone (as well as himself). Pay up, this is the consequence of your shitty parenting.
YTA. YOU taught him that stupid shit. If a parent teaches their kid something and the kid does it, you can be damn sure the parent will be held accountable. Here you are bragging about your money and being an irresponsible parent… Even if you catch him, he could injure himself while trying to reach the sink. Or one day you could lose your grip. Or fall. How about you just teach him better, apologize and offer to pay a part since IT’S YOUR FAULT. Poumpous ass.
YTA. And I can see why you are an ex. You taught your son to do something very dangerous and then he tried it repeat with someone else. HE then harmed his stepfather due to your negligence. Pay the whole bill and be glad that your son was not make injuried
YTA. You can afford it so you should pay the $1000 at least. Also, your son is the one that caused his injury. At least he is not asking you to pay for the whole bill. If you are doing all the parenting and teaching, and the stepdad is just there, it is definitely on you to take some responsibilty.
YTA for teaching your son that it was okay to take such huge risks with his and other people’s safety. They both could have been *killed* if they fell a certain way. Your son was injured severely. And your attitude fucking sucks.
And you know what? “It isn’t a lot of money to me” means *you can afford to help*.
“This is what happens when you live with an 8yo”.
No, this is what happens when you live with an 8yo *with an asshole for a father*. You endangered your child. Your child injured someone.
You should pay the bill.
YTA-You taught your son incredibly dangerous and stupid behavior. He doesn’t know better but you the adult who taught him this absolutely do. You caused it, you fix it.
YTA. Just help them pay it. Your kid hurt his stepfather over a dangerous game you play. If I could afford it, I’d do it to keep the peace, and you taught him this was okay. They seem to have a good relationship, and I’d be grateful and try to make things easier on them.
YTA and uhm… I’d be more worried about the mother calling DCS on you for being an irresponsible parent. But that’s just me
Who the hell teaches a wet kid to climb on slippery bathroom fixtures and then jump on people.
YTA
It was a accident but it was caused by bad behavior your parenting encouraged. YOUR actions put him in that state AND harmed your own child and you are this flippant about it?
Now wether you should pay or not is a differant story but I know what my conscience would do.
I hate parents like you. My gf has kids. Their dad is another knuckle head like you. No wonder your wife left you.