#ChangingMindOnKids #ParentingDecisions #FamilyPlanning #DecidingOnChildren
π€ Is it ok to change your mind about kids? π€·ββοΈ
Considering Different Factors
When it comes to making decisions about having children, it’s completely normal to go through a period of uncertainty or change your mind. There are many factors to consider, such as financial stability, career goals, relationship dynamics, and personal desires. It’s essential to evaluate these aspects before making a definitive choice.
Real-Life Examples
Here are some examples of situations where individuals may change their minds about having kids:
– A couple who initially planned on having children but realized they want to focus on their careers.
– A person who thought they didn’t want kids but later felt ready for parenthood after experiencing personal growth.
Embracing Your Decision
It’s important to honor your feelings and be honest with yourself about what you truly want in life. If you find yourself changing your mind about having children, remember that it’s okay to reassess your priorities and make adjustments to your plans.
Communicating with Your Partner
If you’re in a relationship, open and honest communication with your partner is crucial when it comes to discussing changes in family planning. Ensuring that you’re on the same page and respecting each other’s feelings is essential for a healthy relationship.
Seeking Support and Guidance
If you’re struggling with the decision to change your mind about having kids, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial. Talking through your thoughts and emotions can provide clarity and help you navigate this significant decision.
In conclusion, it is absolutely okay to change your mind about having kids. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and it’s essential to listen to your inner voice and do what feels right for you. Remember, your happiness and well-being are the most important factors to consider when making decisions about family planning. π
Nope not wrong at all.
But yeah some people (especially parents wanting to be grandparents) might not be immediately supportive
Edit to add: Just noticed someone else mentioned – do you have a partner? Things get complicated if you have a partner. Its still not wrong but its more complicated
It saddens me that you need to ask this…you’re allowed to change your mind on anything to whatever you want whenever.
Itβs your body, you can decide if you want to make a kid with it or not.
Do what feels right for you. If your family is giving you a hard time for changing your mind, tell them itβs none of their fucking business.
You shouldnt give a shit about what your family thinks. Its your choice, and only your choice. Do whats best for you
I’d say it’s fine to change your mind about kids until you have one. Then you’re stuck, for better or for worse.
Better to change it before you have them than after.
You don’t owe anyone kids. The only person that you should be open to about your change of mind is your partner since it affects them, but that could absolutely lead to a breakup if they’re set on wanting children.
But yes it is entirely fine to change your mind about this matter.
Adding food for thought: I wanted kids for a long time, until at the end of my 20s I realized: I never enjoyed kids, I never wanted kids to beginn with, I just followed along the standart plan of society which is, education, find a job, have kids. It might be similar for you? But even if it’s not, it’s not relevant.
If you notice that your only reason to not want kids is the fear of passing on your mutation, adoption is always a thing, but that’s likely not for you since you listed more reasons not to want kids anyway.
The planet has around 8 billion people on it, give or take. You don’t *have* to have offspring to carry on the species, and your body is your own. Do as you will, there are plenty of other humans, we’re not going extinct.
People have kids because they think that’s what they are supposed to do, they take care of them and do all the things, but the kids don’t bring them any joy. They don’t love being parents. What’s the point then? To fulfill other people’s expectations?
Be happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. People gonna run they mouths no matter what.
You belong to one of the first generation who grew up with the ability to choose. Even back in the 90s, it was expected you’d have your kids by 25. If you wanted to go to university the conversation was literally about chosing between having a family and a career. Wimen have come a long way. The narritive is changing. We have great birth control options and having kids late, or not at all, is more acceptable.
I’m sorry you’re having this issue with family. It would seem to me that all you can do is ask for respect on the matter. Perhaps have a conversation about how women have choices now and you’re glad for that.
There are 46000 kids in care in Australia, most in desperate need of fostering/ adoption, btw
My husband and I both had a few vaguely risky family genetics things, and i just didn’t want to have to put myself through pregnancies, so we decided to foster, then adopt our four boys. Best thing ever!
Sure, I got dopey comments from a few old relatives, as I was fertile, and we were happily married and well off, good-looking (” such a shame, such beautiful kids, such brilliant genetics, what bloodlines! Are you sure???” Yadayada).
But “my body my choice, our money our home our life” was my/our mantra on repeat.
The fact that you have a 50% risk..hell, that would be so instantly non- negotiable for me!
I would be totally appalled if any relative, knowing about this risk, even mentioned it, let alone pressured me!!!!
Not wrong
And why do you tell your family in a way they can make you feel guilty etc.? Or is it just you taking their thoughts into consideration?
Just asking cause people online are easily polarised on this subject. Theyβll assume the worst of the dynamics rather than the question itself. Donβt overthink it imho
From something I read once-
“βAnd sometimes, what you needed once isnβt what you need later, and itβs okay. Wanting something that you didnβt want before isnβt a weakness.”
> Is it wrong of me to change my mind?
No. In either direction.
Not at all. Family had best just get with the program and adapt. Or ignore them. Do what you have to do to be happy.
Your family is the problem, not you. They should respect your choices. Your body is not their incubator! Do not let them pressure you into having kids! Whenever someone gives me crap for choosing to end my genetic line (tons of health disorders, genetic mutations, generational trauma), I just say I’d rather regret *not* having kids than regret having them and messing them up (I won’t regret it, and I definitely won’t have kids just so someone will take care of me when I’m older… That one icks me right out when people bring it up). I’m lucky that my parents not only support me not having kids, they’re happy about it, for all the same reasons I have. I’m so sorry your family cannot see you’re making the best choice for YOU. π
Itβs your life you can do whatever you want. Remind those family member that unless they are willing to pay for food, clothing, housing, and medical expenses they can all shut up.
I usually donβt enjoy other peopleβs kids but having my own feels totally different. I love them unconditionally. With that said, it is a ton of work and your life is completely changed. Worth it for me but I can see why not everyone would be interested.
If itβs related to the mutation, could you get medical help in hopes of not passing it on?
I said something similar in another comment, so here’s your mantra.
Repeat after me, “My body, my money, my β¨οΈdecisionsβ¨οΈ. Your opinion, not relevant.”
Chant this mantra to anyone who decides to be an asshole that day.
Edit to add, if you have a partner, though, please do discuss with each other. Both of you need to be on the same page. The caveat is that it’s still your body, so you do have the final say, and your partner can’t (and rightfully SHOULDN’T) force you to have a baby that you don’t want.
It would be wrong to be rigid enough that your mind isn’t open to entertaining different viewpoints.
Be curious, my friend! Question *everything*
For the average person, having a child is literally the most damaging thing you can do for the planet and everyone on it. The sheer amount of pollution and trash a single human creates is massive. The world is being overpopulated despite what billionaires that need a constant influx of humans to sustain growth say. There are tens of thousands of children that already exist that need parents. The list goes on and on, so no, you’re making the right choice.
Obviously not. Everybody should think long and hard about what it actually means to have children. And many more people probably shouldn’t have done it.
Better realize it now then have them and regret it. Family, even parents, have to just suck it up if they don’t like your decision. You need to have kids because YOU want them, nobody else.
I was the exact opposite. I wanted nothing to do with kids. I said the world was overpopulated, my genes were crap, I had my kids helping my mom and aunt raise their kids, etc. But now I’m wishing for a child. Do I still think the world is over populated yes are my genes crap also yes, but I want to help a child learn and have a good life whether that be my own or adoption we shall see. I might change my mind again in a couple of years.
What I’m trying to say is that it is not bad to change your mind until a child is actually in the picture. You have time yet to make that decision.
No because itβs your life
I think the decision to not pass on your genetics is a valid reason to not have children…biologically. If you still want kids, fostering and adopting are always an option still. I think when/if you marry, your spouse and you can decide what is right for your family. No one else’s opinion matters. It’s your life.
But ultimately, yes, you can change your mind. And you can change it back too. And you can change it again. It’s your mind and choice.
My husband didn’t want kids when I met him. His mind changed. Now that infertility has hit us, he’s devastated we can’t have kids. We are still open to adoption and may pursue that ourselves, but that is still a conversation we are having at the moment. And we may never have kids and I learned to be ok with that. I always wanted kids, but life sometimes changes that for you.
dont have kids to please other people. those other people dont have to raise them.
You have full say in anything you do even if your family doesnβt agree. Youβre allowed to set boundaries for yourself and not talk about it with them.
No. Trust me I was just like you. Right down to the cool child-free aunt thing. Then I had 2 kids. Love them to pieces and they’re both young adults now but it wasn’t worth the waste of my own future. I regret having kids even though I did the best I could by them. If you don’t think you want them deep down, ignore everyone else.
You’ll end up with a lot more money for your own future if you stay child-free. And no regrets.
Is it ok to make an educated decision based on logic instead of throwing caution to the wind and thinking βitβll work outβ while involving a helpless third party (a child)? Yes, itβs ok.
Having a child, even one that is perfect and 100% healthy, is a huge responsibility/burden/obligation that should not be taken on just because some people expect it of you.
If they want another kid running around why don’t they go have/adopt/foster their own kid? Surely if you ask them that they will say they shouldn’t have to take on that burden and then I encourage you to ask “then why the fuck should I?”
Can recommend being the cool aunt. Can also recommend getting a tubal and not telling people.π
Thereβs nothing wrong with it! Itβs a life-long commitment and some people seem to forget about that sometimes.
It’s not wrong at all. It’s your choice. Fuck what anyone else thinks. Tell them to have some more kids if they want em so bad.
Of course you can change your mind. This is your life and your decision. Parenthood is a very big life decision and not something to be taken lightly. People will often give other people grief when they choose a non-standard path. Parenthood is the default so when you choose not-parenthood, it can confuse or upset people.
Is the genetic mutation EDS? Because same. Itβs ok to change your mind, but if you feel your life is worth living with the mutation (assuming itβs a condition you have and youβre not a carrier) then your kids lives would be worth living too. If the genetics component isnβt the only reason, then totally valid and your family should accept your choice.
I donβt have time to type a an answer response, but you should be very mindful of the fact that everyone in this thread is saying the exact same thing, with exact same reasoning.
That should tell you that these arenβt genuine responses that people have spent time thinking about sincerely, but rather an ideology that all these people share.
And be very careful of that. Good luck.
Of course you can change your mind. Just make sure to be open and honest if you have a partner
I mean, it’s tougher if you’ve already had them …
“Is it wrong of me to change my mind?”
According to my calculations, the answer is no. Your mind is your own and you can change it on any topic, at any time, as you wish. Don’t allow other people’s wants and desires to be forced on you.
I also used to really want kids and changed my mind. It’s okay. It’s okay if you didn’t want kids and changed your mind and had some, too. Changing your mind isn’t a problem. I’m glad you figured it out before you had any!
One of the (many) reasons I don’t have kids is that I don’t want to perpetuate my genes. It’s totally ok.
Of course not. Whether you have children or not is 100% up to you and you can change your mind at any point in time.
Now, if you decide you donβt want kids after youβve got them, that would definitely be a shitty move. But before theyβre born? Whatever floats your boat.
You don’t have to have kids, just make sure to let your partner know if you have one. They deserve to have a chance to reconsider the relationship if they want kids
Itβs your life. Do literally whatever you want with it. If you donβt want kids, dont have em.