#Pregnancy #RelationshipAdvice #CoParenting #NonCustodialParent #Childbirth #LegalAdvice
Hey there! First of all, I want to say that I’m really sorry to hear about the tough situation you’re going through with your pregnant girlfriend. It’s definitely a lot to handle, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed. I can imagine how stressful it must be to be in a situation where your girlfriend doesn’t want you in the delivery room for the birth of your child. 🤰
Here’s some advice to help you navigate through this challenging time:
Understanding the Legal Aspect
It’s important to seek legal advice in a situation like this. Given the complexities of the relationship and impending custody issues, having a lawyer on your side can provide you with the necessary guidance and support. Here are a few points to consider:
– Consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights as a father and your obligations regarding child support.
– Discuss potential custody arrangements and visitation rights to ensure that you have a clear understanding of your legal options.
– Document all interactions and communications with your girlfriend regarding parenting arrangements, financial support, and living situations to use as evidence if needed.
Dealing with Emotions
It’s completely normal to feel a range of emotions during this time, including anger, frustration, and sadness. Remember to take care of yourself and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. Here are a few tips for managing your emotions:
– Allow yourself to experience and express your feelings without judgment.
– Practice self-care activities that help you relax and unwind, such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.
– Surround yourself with positive influences and seek out people who offer encouragement and empathy.
Advice from the Bhagavad Gita
In times of adversity, it can be helpful to draw wisdom from ancient texts like the Bhagavad Gita, which offers guidance on navigating life’s challenges. Here are some valuable insights to consider:
– Focus on fulfilling your responsibilities without attachment to the outcome, as stated in the teachings of karma yoga.
– Stay grounded in your values and principles, even when faced with difficult circumstances.
– Seek inner resilience and strength by connecting with your spiritual beliefs and finding peace within yourself.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a complex situation like the one you’re facing requires resilience, patience, and the willingness to seek support when needed. Remember that you’re not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this challenging time. Stay strong, take care of yourself, and consider seeking legal advice to navigate through the legal aspects of co-parenting and custody. Wishing you the best as you move forward on this journey. 🌟
Remember, the advice in this article is not a substitute for legal guidance. It’s essential to consult with a qualified attorney to understand your specific legal rights and responsibilities in this situation.
My guy, you get a lawyer and a paternity test and if that comes back negative, you need to cut her and her kids from your life asap. This whole situation actually sounds insane.
Lawyer up but don’t expect much
It seems like things are rough with your girlfriend, especially with a baby coming. You might want to talk to a lawyer to know your rights as a parent. They can help with stuff like custody and child support. Remember to focus on what’s best for your child and take care of yourself too.
You need a paternity test ASAP….you don’t have to wait until after birth or after court orders it. Do not sign birth certificate until this is determined and do not start child support until paternity confirmed
You seem to have dug yourself a pretty deep hole. You saw so many red flags but decided to ignore until it was too late.
You being in the room is her decision. You have no say. Just have to get used to that. You will need a lawyer to find out if you can even see the child in hospital without the mother’s permission. Get a lawyer regardless. This will get messy. Everything needs to be to the letter of the law and documented. Do not lag on this or you will regret it later.
Whew… Paternity test ASAP… she’s just trying to live off child support my guy….
Being on the birth of a child is the least of your problems.
You need to sort this.
1st – Is the child yours? Do a paternity test
2nd – Do you want to be in this person’s life. Decide and then act accordingly – she doesn’t look like someone that values you
Yes, get a lawyer and a paternity test
What a mess.
* First, break up with her. It sucks about the kids, there are shelters that will help her.
* Get a paternity test. Doctors use the first date of the last period to determine how far along someone is in their pregnancy. So, as an example, it is possible that she’s 10 weeks along if you had sex 9 weeks ago, because the 10 weeks is determined based on her period, not when actual conception occurred.
* Depending on the paternity test, if you are the daddy, you need an attorney to help with time sharing. This won’t impact whether or not you can be at the birth, but you 100% can visit and spend time with the baby even if the mom nurses instead of using bottles. Your attorney will help you to iron out the details.
* If you are NOT the daddy, run away. And use condoms for the rest of your life.
You can’t force your way into someone else’s medical treatments.
You can petition for a paternity test and assert your parental rights once the kid is born though.
It sounds like this romantic relationship is over. She gets to decide who she wants in the delivery room, that’s not up to you. Get a lawyer and get a court-ordered custody agreement. Decide whether you want to pursue joint custody (which will still probably not include the baby spending nights with you until she’s done breastfeeding) or whether you want her to have primary custody and for you to pay child support and have more limited visitation. Do not try to handle this arrangement yourselves without a lawyer or court. Everything about this relationship so far has been a chaotic dumpster fire, and any agreement you make between yourselves is likely to fall apart. Get a legal custody arrangement in place.
Go home. Let her throw a fit and “move out” to get friends couch again. Change the locks. She’s mentally abusive with this BS and she’s definitely using you and your LETTING her! Ask for a DNA test today. It’s a thing. Call a lawyer and tell him everything. Most importantly, don’t let her come back in your house!
To put it bluntly, you’re a fucking doormat for letting it get this bad. Seriously what the f is wrong with you? Wake up or your house, car, and assets will be gone and youll be on the streets. Get a paternity test and a lawyer. She’ll put you on the birth certificate and demand child support for a child that may not even he yours. Also why the hell are you playing father for her kids and letting you live in her house while she does nothing? Seriously you’re honestly an idiot.
Do not sign a birth certificate until you get the results of a paternity test. Consult an attorney immediately (many offer a brief but free consultation). You want to ensure that, if the baby isn’t yours, she doesn’t become a squatter.
Definitely get a lawyer to establish paternity and your rights. But as for being in the delivery room? It’s not your call at all. It is completely her decision who’s in there with her, and there isn’t a judge alive that is going to force her to let you be in there with her.
You can’t legally force yourself into her birthing room, but you can file for custody right away pending a positive paternity test. She doesn’t get to dictate at what point you get to have the child in your care, the court does. The breast feeding argument isn’t often considered anymore since pumping is an option, take her to court.
You can’t be in the delivery room if she doesn’t want you there.
Establish paternity. If it’s your child, hire a lawyer to help with custody, visitation, and child support.
Use condoms.
I went through this with my brother. You can get a lawyer, but they are going to tell you this, too. Unfortunately, you don’t have any rights to be at the birth of the baby or see the baby at the hospital after the birth. Birth is a medical procedure, and since she is the patient, she and her medical team make that decision. Even if you were married, this would apply. My ex-husband was upsetting me during labor, and my nurse threatened to throw him out because it was stressing me out and raising my blood pressure.
Father’s rights don’t start until after the baby is born, and she puts you on the birth certificate (with you signing an acknowledgment of paternity) or after a paternity test is done and you are declared the father legally. It sucks but this is the way it works in every state that I am aware of.
As to you not even seeing the baby until after she’s done breastfeeding, uh, no. Once paternity is established, there should be a temporary custody arrangement, and usually 50/50 custody is standard unless one parent is dangerous or on drugs. You need to have a stable living situation, or you may only get supervised visitation, though, so you need to get off your friends couch. Let her stay with her busy body mother. The baby will likely not be able to do overnights if they are breastfed unless she produces enough extra milk that she can store a bunch up, but you should be able to get day visits. There are legal aid places, but they have waiting lists, so get on that ASAP if you can’t afford a lawyer. You don’t have to wait until after the baby is born to start making a plan. You will need to get your own baby stuff at your house also because if she is this difficult, she likely won’t want to share what she has. Don’t buy any baby stuff new. You can get anything you need free or really cheap used on FB Marketplace or garage sales. If you have any specific questions, let me know and I will try to help.
Hahahaha omg wow… the second some random chick you hooked up with said she was pregnant you moved her in and it turned into a shitshow? You don’t say?
You need an attorney for two things. First, to sort out the housing situation. If your name is on the lease, you get to live there if you want to. If her name is on the lease, same. And if both names are on the lease, you are both equally responsible for making sure the rent gets paid in full. If one of you pays half and the other doesn’t pay at all, you’re both going to be listed on the eviction paperwork. Who is actually inhabiting the place doesn’t matter one bit. You need an attorney to figure out how to disentangle yourself from that issue. It may seem like a good idea to just skip paying and wait for eviction, but that will make it *extremely* difficult for you to rent in the future, and will likely either restrict you to slumlord properties or have you paying far in excess of the already ridiculous market rates just to convince someone to rent to you.
And second, you need an attorney for establishing paternity and custody. After a paternity test (which can be done now, with zero risk) if the baby is yours, your attorney will help you to establish a custody schedule and child support. Yes, breastfeeding may play into the custody. No, you have no right to be present during a woman’s medical procedure and a lawyer won’t (and can’t) help you with that.
You need:
1. A paternity test
2. A lawyer (if it’s positive)
3. A therapist
a lawyer is not going to get an order to allow you to be at the birth. I don’t know what state you’re in but in Oregon you have to wait until the baby is born then file a custody order and sue to establish paternity as soon as you hear the baby is born. If she doesn’t put you on the birth certificate, since you won’t be there to sign it at the birth, there will be a process to establish your rights, it will prob take a couple months. Then they will want you to attempt mediation to establish a parenting plan before the custody hearing. Since she’s planning to breastfeed, you will likely only be granted visits during the daytime until the baby is around 6 months old, maybe longer. And yeah you will have to pay for child support the whole time.
You should get a lawyer, but don’t expect that it’s gonna result in you getting 50% custody and not having to pay any child support. Thats not how it works.
>girlfriend (23f) doesn’t want me I’m at the birth of my child
It’s a medical procedure. No court would say that you have the right to be there against her wishes. You need an attorney for a paternity test and a custody order.
As the mother, that is her right. There are married women who will not let their husbands in the room even if the relationship is good. The mother has every right and expectancy to allow who she wants in the room and to deliver the baby in a stress free environment. But as far as everything else, fight for your rights. Yes, get a lawyer, because that’s the smart and responsible thing to do. You need to work out custody and visitation with her and a lawyer will be your best bet. You might also want to petition for a DNA test just to ensure the baby is yours.
Yes, get a lawyer.
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That said – you are not entitled to be at her medical procedures – and no court will force that. The birth is her medical procedure.
Second – this is nuts. Dude. Come on. Stop letting her do whatever. Even if the child is yours there is a 0% chance that you are going to make this relationship work with her. Focus on getting your own life sorted and let her deal with her own messes.
And you can get a paternity test done while she is pregnant – the sooner the better in this case!
I only managed to read a few sentences, but if you want an amicable relationship with your child’s mother, you might want to lose the attitude. She does not have to allow you to attend her medical appointments, including the childbirth. If you are doubtful about paternity, you ask for a test. Ask the court for one if she doesn’t agree voluntarily. Next steps depend on results of the test. If you are at the point of doubting paternity, she is likely to become your ex-girlfriend regardless of results, so best get used to that idea.
“DO I GET A LAWYER.” LOL
no you can’t sue your way into watching a woman you impregnated have a medical procedure.
first of all, you can’t force your way into the room while she delivers.
second, why haven’t you made any effort in actually figuring out if this child is yours?
third, after you understand / do all of the above, please start setting boundaries and build your self esteem man. you’re letting her walk all over you. you’re just going to end up miserable and with only yourself to blame if you don’t start valuing yourself.
Nobody can do anything about her not wanting you in her birthing room (as it should be).
After the baby is born you exert your parental rights if you want to be in the kid’s life. You might want to try to get a prenatal paternity test.
No doctor will allow you in the room *if she doesn’t want you there*. You have no legal recourse. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.