What are the implications of giving my new baby my ex-husband’s last name? #Parenting #BabyNames #CoParenting
Have you ever wondered about the awkwardness of naming your child after your ex? As a 29-year-old mother, is it strange to consider giving your newborn your 27-year-old ex-husband’s surname?
Let’s delve into the surprising complexities and emotions that come with this decision.
OK, let me be clear, he had a vasectomy? Like a real vasectomy or just a pretend one? It is possible for the vas to grow back, but that takes a long time and in the last 20 years, mine hasn’t. Regardless of who baby daddy is if there’s no father in the picture and you can give them whatever name you want.
If you wanted to be nice would recommend you still check with him (x husband, not the x fiancée) again (if you have a good relationship with him) to see if he would be weirded out. And even if you didn’t, I personally would not say that it’s weird. That’s YOUR last name now, too.
It would be *way* weirder for you to go back to your maiden name and then change your child’s name back to your maiden name, *just* so that you could give the new baby your maiden name.
My ex-aunt did this. No one batted an eyelid at it, although it did confuse some distantly related geneologists!
> I kept my ex husband’s last name.
To clarify, the question is this: Would it be weird for your baby to use your last name?
Thats what is expected if you don’t want to give the child its fathers last name, and no reason to involve your ex husband it doesn’t impact him or have anything to do with him.
When my mother divorced my father she kept his name for the same reason you did, she kept it right up until she got remarried after my sister and I had well and truly left home. Dad never cared.
As for the new baby, I’d give it your surname! It is the name you go by, it is your identity now. You could definitely chat to your ex husband about it again. But ultimately it’s your choice!
It’s your last name. You never changed it back to your maiden so it is essentially your last name. Which means the baby would have the same last name as you. Just don’t go putting your ex husband on the birth certificate lol! jk
Many years ago, a guy told me he had a vasectomy and I got pregnant. He left me too because he had a girlfriend of two years and I didn’t know, but later I found out he didn’t even had the vasectomy and just lied to me because “I want you to enjoy sex without worrying about anything”
Yeah those were his words.
It’s still your last name too, so if not your current last name what would you use? Certainly not the guy that walked away and blocked you. It actually seems logical to me to use your current last name.
It’s legally your last name, I don’t see why you wouldn’t use your legal last name for your child.
If it’s your legal last name then you are fine with giving that to your new baby. The name stopping belonging to your ex the moment it became YOUR legal name b
My grandmother had two children with her husband (my mom and her brother). They divorced and her three children that came after all had her ex husbands last name. Your ex said it’d be fine. Also your last name is your last name, not just your exes so give the baby your last name.
Yes, it’s perfectly fine to name your new child with your last name. It’s your last name now because you kept it. Absolutely nothing weird with that. I sincerely don’t see an issue with this except that your ex-husband will have to clarify (but that’s his problem).
If it’s still your legal
Name I don’t think legally he could say anything . It would
Be weird to give him the exes last name but make sure the ex is on as the father not your ex husband
No problem. Your ex husband said ok.
He can ghost you all he wants but he will need to help pay for the baby he helped to create his name needs to be on the birth certificate too.
I don’t think it’s weird. Your kiddos will have the same last name. The last name that is yours too.
You’d be giving the baby your last name. You’re overthinking it.
Its your last name. No need to ask the ex. Give the baby your last name. End of story.
The new baby will have your legal last name, which is shared with your ex husband. It is fine, legal and not weird at all.
You are giving your baby, your current name.
Make sure to file for child support on the baby daddy.
Not crazy at all. It’s your name now. You don’t need your ex husband’s permission. Go for it.
And I’m so glad you got rid. Good luck.
It’s not your ex-husband’s last name, it’s fully *your* last name.
It’s your last name now, so it’s not weird at all. Make sure to get a lawyer and paternity test done as soon as you can so your ex can start paying child support.
Personally I think it would be a little weird, not gonna lie. But it’s your last name now, so do whatever you want, I see nothing wrong with it.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to name your baby anything you want. It makes perfect sense to give them the same name that you and your current kid already have.
You’re not giving the baby your ex husband’s name. You’re giving the baby YOUR name. The end.
My uncle has my grandma’s first husband’s last name because it’s her last name. I don’t find it weird
What last name do you put on documents? That is what the kid should have. You might give a heads up to your ex husband just to be polite. But honestly it is your business and no one else’s.
I think whatever you decide, I would recommend that it’s a choice that gives all of you the same last name. Also, why wouldn’t you go after this ridiculous ex for child support? He was the one that insisted that his vasectomy was ok, even though you all knew better.
It’s YOUR name now. Good luck with the addition ton to your family.
I mean however you acquired it, this IS your last name. It would be stranger to give your child a name that’s not yours, whether it’s a former name (like your maiden name) or someone else’s.
It’s not weird because it’s your last name too. That’s it, end of discussion.
Certainly not weird.
An alternative might be choosing a new, non-man-related name for your family to share.
You’re not giving the baby another man’s name. You’re giving the baby *your* name.
Make sure you put that moron on child support.
It’s your name now. Why would you want your youngest to have a different surname? Do it. What’s he going to do? Take you to court for… using your last name? 🤷♀️
It’s not just your ex-husband’s last name, it’s now yours. Your baby should absolutely have the same last name as you and you do not have to change your last name just because you are no longer married to him.
I can only speak for myself, but if my ex-wife kept my last name and she ended up being a single mother after we divorced, then I wouldn’t have any issue with her giving the child our last name. That is HER last name now, and she has a right to it by virtue of being married to me at one point.
I would also be glad that the new baby would have the same last name as their half-siblings.
The name is not your ex husband’s it’s YOUR last name now. So yes you would give your new baby that name
It’s your last name now too, you can give it to your child no problem
I think having the same last name for you and the two babies makes perfect sense. You just have to navigate what to tell the second one about their dad.
If it’s your legal last name, you wouldn’t even have a choice in the matter if you lived in my country. A child automatically gets the last name of their mother if there isn’t another parent in the picture.
So although I get why you feel a bit weird about it, but like others have said as well: this is your last name now. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with naming your child after yourself.
Congratulations on the pregnancy 🧡
Make sure to take the baby daddy to court and reach out to his family to let them know too. Some of them might want a connection and it’s always good to have support. 🤷♂️
Coming from a Family Law Attorney, if you did not legally change your name back to your maiden name, the last name is yours regardless of the divorce. So to answer your question it is absolutely not weird to give your new bundle of joy YOUR last name.
Congrats I hope you have a safe pregnancy with little stress💯
My dad’s ex-wife did just this over 50 years ago. I dint think my dad was thrilled but he understood the reasoning that all the kids would have the same last name.
Good luck however you decide!
I’m a woman who’s unmarried with no kids, but thinking about this from the ex husband standpoint, I’d be annoyed a kid who’s not mine has my last name, especially if the last name is rather unique.
Personally I say you give it your maiden name and change your name back. Can’t imagine why anyone would want to keep their ex’s last name
If you changed your name to Jane Smith, it’d be fine for your baby to be Baby Smith. This is no different. It’s not your exes name only, it’s your name too.
Is it still your legal last name? If so, then go ahead and use it.
I gave my middle son my married last name (NOT husband’s bio child) instead of my maiden because I wanted him to match me and my oldest. My son wishes I’d not done this.
It’s not weird. It’s your last name. Your legal last name. You decided not to change it back and that’s totally fine. Your ex husband doesn’t really have any say in it and it’ll be easier if both your kids have the same last name as you.