#inheritance #familydynamics #propertydispute #moralobligation
Do you find yourself torn between protecting what’s rightfully yours and being guilt-tripped into sacrificing your hard-earned inheritance for the sake of family ties? The situation you’re facing is undoubtedly challenging and emotionally charged. You’re not alone in grappling with the conflicting emotions and moral dilemmas that come with such a predicament.
## The Weight of Inheritance Disputes
Inheritances can often bring underlying family dynamics and tensions to the surface, especially when it comes to dividing assets like property. In your case, the disparity in your and your sister’s life choices and financial situations only adds complexity to the situation. It’s understandable to feel conflicted between honoring your mother’s wishes to keep the house in the family and securing your own financial future.
### Emotions vs. Finances
The emotional aspect of inheriting a family home where memories are deeply intertwined can cloud judgment and prompt feelings of guilt or obligation. However, it’s essential to separate your emotions from the financial practicalities of the situation. Your sister’s reluctance to take decisive action in buying out your share or selling the house indicates a sense of entitlement rather than a genuine desire to uphold your mother’s wishes.
### Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-care
While family bonds are important, your financial well-being and future stability matter too. It’s crucial to set clear boundaries and prioritize your own needs in this situation. Engaging in open communication with your sister about your intentions and concerns can help navigate the conflict while asserting your rights to your rightful share of the inheritance.
## Practical Solutions and Moving Forward
### Seek Legal Guidance and Mediation
Consulting with a lawyer to explore your legal options and potentially involve a mediator can provide clarity and unbiased support in resolving the inheritance dispute. A professional mediator can help facilitate open dialogue between you and your sister, ensuring that both parties’ interests are heard and respected.
### Consider Financial Alternatives
If your sister continues to stall or push for emotional manipulation, it may be necessary to explore alternative solutions, such as selling the house and dividing the proceeds equitably. Your financial stability and independence should not be compromised by sentimentality or guilt trips.
### Self-care and Mental Health Support
Navigating family conflicts over inheritance can take a toll on your mental well-being. Remember to prioritize self-care and seek emotional support from friends, family members, or a therapist to cope with the stress and emotional burden of the situation.
In conclusion, standing up for your rights and maintaining a firm stance on securing your inheritance does not make you the antagonist in this scenario. Your sister’s expectations and attempts at emotional manipulation should not dictate your decision-making process. Remember, it’s crucial to prioritize your own financial future and well-being while navigating the complex dynamics of family inheritance disputes. Stay strong, seek legal advice, and trust in your right to claim what’s rightfully yours.
NTA and her free ride is over. She has 2 options and she better hurry up and pick. The monthly bills will force her hand soon.
NTA
Talk to the attorney. Ask to move forward with selling the house.
NTA- Your sister has to get her shit together. She clearly hasn’t her whole life. This is just another byproduct of that.
Second, you say of course she drives a mustang. Honestly, this sounds like Big Altima Energy to me.
NTA
NTA. Chances are that she probably can’t afford the house as it stands, and you may be on the hook if she doesn’t pay (e.g. taxes).
Give her one final deadline. Tell her that if she doesn’t have a fixed plan and a bank loan by the end of April, you’ll force the house sale.
NTA You’ll have to go to court to force the sale before the house gets trashed and you have to sell it for peanuts. Hire an attorney and move forward. Your sister won’t qualify for a mortgage, no point in dragging this situation on and letting the house get run down. Meanwhile, make sure the taxes and sewer and water fees are paid, if applicable. Also make sure the attorney does a title search to make sure the property hasn’t be liened.
NTA.Â
Sell the house. Do not let her buy on contract — she’ll never pay.
NTA your sister has proven many times that she cannot get her life together. I don’t believe that a bank is going to give her a mortgage. Time to get the house on the market, just let the guilt roll off your back. She doesn’t care about your equity, why should you care about her house?
She might expect it, but that doesn’t mean you have to comply. You’re entitled to your half of the house. Keep working on getting the sale going and look into what your options are if she keeps stalling.
NTA
I can promise you that she isn’t going to be able to get a mortgage.
Call your attorney and hand him or her get the ball rolling on forcing a sale.
NTA. Do not enter into a contract with your sister, or you will be drawing out the aggravation with her for years. She can buy you out (not likely), or you can force the sale. You know what you need to do, sad nephew notwithstanding.
Work quickly to sell the house before sister and her son mess the house so that no will buy it and sister and son can continue to live in house for free . Happened to a friend.
NTA – Your mother wanted you to have equal shares, if your sister wants a part or all of your share she needs to pay you in a manner you both agree to.
PS- If the area the house is in has local taxes, waterbills and/or other maintenance stuff you can be liable for all if it if your sister doesn’t pay. Creditors will come after any involved party if they don’t have any luck with another.
You are down to 2 options. She gets a loan or you sell the house. She needs to move out because it is easier to sell a vacant home and you can do any small repairs it needs. A new coat of paint and some freshening up makes it more appealing. Don’t let her guilt you. Me and my sister were in the same.situation, i sold my house and bought her out. She used the money to pay off her mortgage.. Before my dad passed we both had homes we owned with similar mortgages but she didn’t want my parents house. My house had an HOA which was driving me crazy and my parents house was older with no HOa and big yard, way tiny house, though, but it worked. Don’t let her guilt you. This has to be fair and her living there is not fair. Her doing a contract with you will cause drama when she can’t pay. Give her a deadline to get the money or get out so you can BOTH collect the inheritance.
NTA, but maybe you should talk to someone about your grief and the anger that is seeping out of your post. You deserve support
NTA
Family situations can always be rough, but you do not want to co-own this house with your sister. Since you can’t afford to just gift her your half, you need to give her a deadline for a loan to buy out your half, or a realtor will be through to start the listing. Though, if possible, I’d get an accounting of the current state of the house, so she can’t just run off with all the copper wiring and leave you with a substantially less valuable shell.
NTA. Talk to an attorney about a lawsuit for partition.
NTA! Great, so she can refinance (I work in the mortgage business and typically, that’s how you buy out the other people the house was left to) and her payoff will be whatever half of the house is worth. If she can’t afford that, her son can co-sign if he loves the house so much. If that isn’t an option, you have to sell.
NTA force a sale. The 21 year old is old enough to get a job and help his Mom buy you out if they really wanted to. Maybe forcing the sale will make her get her act together and she actually will buy you out. Waiting on her to do something first is a mistake.
NTA she can’t afford to buy you out. Tell her it will be sold and you will split the money. She needs to find somewhere to live.
Get your lawyer and force the sale.
Your sister has never really learned to adult.Â
You’re not kicking a poor single mom out on the streets. She’s been supported and bailed out her whole life.Â
Her son is 21 and plenty old enough.Â
Force the sale immediately. She’s going to drag this out. In the meantime no telling what condition the house will fall into.Â
The choice you give her is by me out or we sell the house. Hard and fast suspense.Â
NTA
She should be paying fair market rent rent to moms estate each month. And you can ask the court to order the sale – she’ll either buy it herself, or have to move.
You’re NTA.Â
>her son is sad because it’s the house he grew up in
So what? Is he plan on living there rent free with Mommy for the rest of life? I guess the apple doesn’t rot far from the tree.
Is the house paid in full? If so, your sister only needs to get a loan for 1/2 the value. That money goes to you. It might be possible. If not, talk to your attorney about forcing the sale.
If your mother wanted her to have the house, she would’ve left it to her, alone, in the will. Force a partition sale and let your sister buy a cheaper house or condo with the proceeds. Don’t get sucked into a contract with her. I also wouldn’t wait around for her to get a loan.
NTA
Have the lawyer force the sale and move on.
NTA. Force the sale. Don’t enable her. Sounds like your Mom enabled her, as parents will do(no judgement). Do NOT step into your Mother’s shoes. There are three adults living there, if they cannot make do that is on them.
Yes, you are supposed to feel sorry for her. But help her fill out the loan paperwork….
NTA – Get your lawyer to force a sell through probate if sister doesn’t to do anything on the other optiuons and live in the house free. You owe her nothing at this point and her personal problems with her son are hers and not yours. Get this entitled boat anchor off you so you can move on. Sorry for your loss.
NTA
Find out from the attorney what to do in case of this type of stall. Point out that you can hold out longer. Or at least have the attorney point out is lawful in that jurisdiction.
NTA. Even if – **IF** – you gave up your half of the house to your sister, how long do you think she’d be able to keep it? Do you have any confidence that she’d keep up on the property taxes? Or homeowner’s insurance? What about maintenance? What if a major repair was necessary, (i.e., roof, a/c, furnace, plumbing, electrical, etc.)? Home ownership is expensive.
No, take the money and run. Force the sale – either she buys you out or it goes on the open market. Don’t let her guilt trip you. She’s a big girl, it’s time she learned to stand on her own two feet.
Your sister is stealing from you rn. You are not the AH for stopping that.
NTA
NTA. You’ve worked your entire adult life. Your sister is a freeloader who scammed (and tormented) your mother. Now her ADULT son is doing the same. Sell the house with zero guilt. Enjoy the rest of your life. You’ll be doing your sister & nephew a favor so they’ll need to figure out “life” like the rest of us.
Sell now before the house needs expensive repairs— you know she will not maintain the house.
Get a lawyer and sell that house before she ruins it
NTA.Â
Your mother left you half of the equity in the house. Your sister has 2 choices – buy your interest in the house or the house is sold.
Do whatever you need to do to ensure you get what your mom left to you.
NTA. You’re also entitled to have feelings, and those sometimes depend on your financial situation. Consult with the lawyer about a deadline after which tou’ll force a sell.
BUT, you’re kinda an AH in this post, in comparing your lives with way too many irrelevant details. We get it, you don’t like her, but that’s irrelevant.
Can you guys sell it and split it 50-50?
My sister expected the same after our parents died. My brother did, too, until I explained how she could not afford it. They were all about how sister did so much for our parents, and how our mom wanted her to have the house. I pointed out to my brother how he would be on the hook for any extra expenses that came up. We could see it now and share the profits, or we could put the house in her name and then she would sell it once it was all settled so she would get all the profits. He saw the truth in my words.
Do not give into the easy way out for her. You may have to make a couple of trips to the home state, but it will be worth.
OP. Go ahead and force the sale. Sis will never buy out your share.Â
Tell son to get job and pay the rent his mom doesn’t… wtf is wrong with you people
Do NOT SELL to your sister on contract!! 100% guaranteed she will not pay you…. Make her get a mortgage, or sell the house and split the proceeds. NTA
NTA
It’s ok to want your equity.
However you are a bit of an AH for all the other stuff you said.
You keep tearing her down, and talk about how you are accomplished, better, made better choices, bla bla bla, yet being 6 years older you’re both still without a house of your own.