#WeddingDrama #FamilyFeuds #KidsAtWeddings #WeddingEtiquette
Are you grappling with the dilemma of whether you were in the wrong for not allowing your nieces and nephews to attend your wedding? The struggle between maintaining peace within the family and asserting your boundaries can be a tough one. Let’s dive into the situation and explore some practical solutions to navigate through this tricky family dynamic.
## The Problem:
You (26 F) and your husband (27 M) recently tied the knot, and you made a conscious decision to have a kid-free wedding. Your sister (32 F) with her husband and their 5 kids violated this request by showing up to your wedding, causing tension and conflict on your special day.
### Emotional Rollercoaster 🎢:
– Feeling disrespected by your sister’s disregard for your wishes.
– Balancing your desire for a stress-free wedding with family expectations.
– Navigating the fallout of confrontation and estrangement from your sister.
## Practical Solutions:
1. **Open Communication** 🗣️:
– **Express Your Feelings**: Sit down with your sister and share how her actions made you feel. Be honest but respectful in conveying your boundaries.
2. **Set Clear Boundaries** 🚫:
– **Establish Expectations**: Clearly outline your boundaries regarding children at future family events to prevent similar conflicts.
3. **Family Mediation** ⚖️:
– **Seek Mediation**: Consider involving a neutral third party, like a family therapist or mediator, to facilitate a constructive dialogue between you and your sister.
### Real-Life Example:
In a similar situation, Sarah shared her experience of confronting her sister about bringing her unruly kids to her wedding. By addressing the issue directly and setting boundaries, Sarah was able to salvage her relationship with her sister while maintaining her peace of mind on her wedding day.
## Final Thoughts:
It’s essential to prioritize your mental well-being and assert your boundaries, even when faced with familial pressure. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your needs and happiness, especially on your special day. By addressing the situation with honesty and empathy, you can navigate through family conflicts while staying true to yourself.
In the end, the key is to find a balance between honoring your boundaries and maintaining family relationships. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being in all situations. Stay true to yourself and communicate openly to find resolution in challenging family dynamics. 🌟
NTA – this is why Bouncers are a must-have in any wedding budget – especially childfree. Though I will say straight up calling the kids grotty was kind of a dick move.
You’re NTA but your sister is for pulling this shit. She knew it was child free but thought them showing up all fancy would make you change your mind, or not want to cause a scene and let it slide. She learned otherwise.
NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Glitter glue ban stands strong.
NTA, but your sister and BIL are. How selfish of them to barge past the rules.
UPDATE: so i messaged her because at the end of the day she is my sister. I said its unfortunate she had to ruin it for herself by doing that move because she could’ve came. She got my parents to message and talk about other ways i couldve said it to me like i was 7 again. Not sure what to do now
NTA
It’s your wedding and you’re allowed to invite or not invite anyone you want. It may cause hurt feelings, but it’s still your decision.
You told your sister children weren’t allowed. You told her specifically HER children were not allowed.
She brought her kids anyway. Intentionally because she likely thought you wouldn’t have the spine to send her away if they were already at the venue.
NTA.
She decided to roll over your boundary, and you held firm.
Classic case of FAFO.
Wait, did they show up with the kids and then you said no so they left again?
That’s kind of awesome.
NTA. You and your spouse get to decide who isn’t invited to your own wedding. You said “no kids” and it would have been unfair to make an exception just because your sister assumed her kids should get an exception.
NTA. Your wedding, your rules.
Your sister is TA for trying to force her children on your wedding. That’s a level of manipulation one doesn’t see very often. She could easily have gotten a sitter and chose not to. Total AH move on her part and she got what she deserved.
NTA.
You set a perfect boundary-managing example. You set a clear boundary, communicated it, and then held your ground.
Your sister is a complete ass-hat.
WHY would anyone want to bring 5 kids to a wedding at all? AND all dressed in pink floral? It sounds like she was trying to steal the show at your wedding, between the pink kids and her being preggers!
Doesn’t “but not MY kids” sound just a little bit entitled?
You’re NTA people have childfree weddings it their choice, you sister should not have brought her kids.
Some people see weddings as family affairs, others see it about just the bride and groom. It seems like you and your sister view weddings differently here and it was always going to result in hurt feelings.
I have to know though did you require everyone who attended your wedding to wear Baby Blue? I get saying formal attire but requiring everyone to buy baby blue suits and dresses is crazy.
I think you need to have very serious words with your parents, as well as your sister.
The fact that she went running to Mummy and Daddy when you messaged her after the event tells me she did the exact same thing before, too.
I wouldn’t mind betting they suggested she just turned up & probably told her the pink floral would be fine too.
Also, why couldn’t their Dad have them for the day so she could attend without having to pay for a babysitter?
She’s the golden child, right?
NTA – Your wedding, your rules!
NTA
NTA. You told her no kids. You told her that her kids were NOT the exception. She showed up with them anyway. She’s the AH here, not you. I hope you made them leave.
NTA
Just curious: Did EVERYONE have to wear baby blue to your wedding? I look horrible in baby blue.
NTA. As someone else said, if she can afford a brand new outfit for the whole family she can afford a babysitter. Point that out to your parents. Ask how much those cost. At the end of the day it’s your wedding. Your sister hasn’t realized the world doesn’t revolve around her kids.
NTA. Kids weren’t invited.
NTA
I already said this in another comment but don’t take less of an apology from someone who was supposed to give you more.
She is your sister for goodness sake! She should not have pulled this stunt and now that she has NO REASON not to full on ask for your forgiveness.
She is wrong. Period.
There is zero wiggle room on this.
NTA but I loathe the “if you can afford…you can afford…” argument. No you can’t money is finite. It doesn’t self-generate. That’s not what “spend money to make money means”
If you are paying money for one thing, e.g. food for five children you can’t then spend that same money on a babysitter.
What your sister could have done is leave them with their father or not come herself.
I get that not everyone has kids at weddings, for whatever reason. My cousin got married several years ago and said no kids. Now we live 3k miles away from the venue. I wasn’t about to fly there by myself for the wedding and I wasn’t going to fly there with my family and the kids not be able to attend. So I chose not to go. Simple, no hard feelings. I was sad not to attend, but I respected her decision.
NTA – she couldn’t afford a babysitter for one day, but could afford to buy coordinating pink floral outfits for all 5 kids? Hmmm…
NTA for the no kids rules, especially since your sister kids have a history of being destructive.
However you are an AH expecting all the guests to dress in baby blue.
Easy NTA – no kids means no kids.
NTA – and call her out on her shit. And then maybe have a 1 on 1 with her and tell her “look I don’t hate your kids. I love my nieces and nephews. But I don’t like how they behave and how there are no consequences after. I strictly said no kids at my wedding but you brushed it off which shows me you don’t respect me and I’m quite hurt by what you did”
Aw hell no, your wedding is your wedding. Your rules, not hers. NTA
NTA for not allowing kids in your wedding, but YTA for requiring guests dress up in baby blue. It’s a color that flatters almost no one, and it’s very rude and entitled to expect ppl to buy an expensive outfit they might never wear again just for this wedding.
Your NTA, but your sister is a manipulative, entitled one.
She knew you did not want the kids there, but brought them anyway because she figured you would never say no in front of them. She not only disregarded your wishes, she blatantly went against them and dressed them purposely out of dress code to make sure they stood out at YOUR wedding. One of the most common sense rules for wedding attires is to not outshine the bride or stand out and take away attention from her. By your sister dressing all 5 in the same pink color, she was all but shouting, “look at my kids and not the bride!”
The wedding should be about you and your future spouse, but she made it clear that she was not even willing to even give you that one day to shine and be the
center of attention.
Your sister was not only TA, but was even toxic enough to try to set you up to look like the villian rejecting her “innocent” babies if you did not let them in. Even though your parents fell for her act, I am hoping most people see through her behavior and get a good insight into what kind of a person she really is!
NTA. Parents are so entitled these days when it come to weddings.
NTA. You made it clear, no kids. You can’t allow an exception for her, and then for no one else.
If they can’t afford a babysitter, then what are they doing having six kids? (the 5 they have and one on the way).
No kids is no kids. It’s a MAJOR AH move to bring 5 uninvited, and unaccounted for people to a wedding. What was your food cost per plate? Mine was $65 in 2022. Like, that’s over $300 in extra food cost to you. NTA at all, OP. Sis drama aside, how was your wedding??
NTA – I love my kids. I’d be bummed if they weren’t invited to a close family’s wedding. I’d also parent them and not let them destroy someone’s house so they’d be wanted and earn their place. It’s always been your call, but having horribly behaved kids loses her any level of appeal
NTA becasue no kid weedings are fairly common anymore and it’s your wedding you can set what rules you want. Your sister totally new what she was doing with that glitter glue and slime though. Those both ruin things as a matter of course and your sister would have known that when she visited you, something to think about.
Can we also step back and talk about the kids destroying your couch?
What idiot thinks it’s appropriate to do arts and craft at someone else’s place? The mess alone from that would be hell to clean up. Unless you suggested the idea OP. That in itself is an AH move.
Now the main topic: it’s your wedding. You said no kids. She even tried “confirming” whether or not she was an exemption. You said no.
She’s entitled. 5 kids and can’t find somewhere or someone to dump them for a day or two? What’s your BIL’s parents up to?
As much as you love your nieces and nephews, your sister seems to be pushing some boundaries on what she can get out of you. I’d be drawing a very firm line between you and her and set boundaries on what you’ll allow.
If she can’t handle 5 kids, she shouldn’t have had 5 kids.
ESH mostly your sister and her husband but SERIOUSLY you made everyone wear “baby blue”. YIKES ON BIKES
NTA i dont even need to read the post. In the middle east all wedding invites come w a ps that says childrens heaven lies at their homes meaning they should stay there and ppl who come w their kids arent allowed to enter. You arent supposed to tolerate kids at your own wedding tbh they ruin everything
NTA – but your sister is.
Your wedding, your rules.
You also had a valid reason.
NTA lots of people have child free weddings now, I don’t know why it still turns into a big thing with so many people. She bought them all new clothes but couldn’t afford a babysitter? They also could have asked a friend or her husband’s family.
Anybody who so rigidly dictates the color theme for a wedding is automatically the asshole (black tie being the exception, though somewhat still obnoxious)
NTA. That said a baby blue themed wedding – each to their own and all that. 🤮
What are the odds the kids all in pink were supposed to be a gender reveal?
ESH. You have the right not to have kids at your wedding. But I cannot abide your commandments that everyone weae baby blue. They are your friends and family, not dress up dolls.
NTA about banning the kids but YTA about that color specific dress code nonsense.
NTA for the kids, but mild YTA if you actually told everyone to wear baby blue.
YTA.
April Fools!! 😜😜😜