“Am I Wrong for Asking My Baby’s Father to Leave the Hospital Room? Here’s What Happened:
[h5] Background Story: [/h5]
I (19F) recently gave birth, but the relationship with my baby’s father (21M) ended due to infidelity. Despite this, he’s been involved in prenatal appointments.
[h5] What Happened at the Hospital: [/h5]
– Baby’s father brought TV and PlayStation to the hospital without a car seat, leading to an argument.
– He left when my family visited due to the hospital’s visitor policy.
– After my family left, he returned with the TV despite my objections.
[h5] The Conflict: [/h5]
– He insisted on keeping the TV in the room, saying he had a right to be with his son.
– He refused to comply, leading to me asking him to leave.
[h5] His Response: [/h5]
– He accused me of denying his rights and threatened legal action for custody.
[h5] Question: [/h5]
Am I the jerk for making him choose between the TV or leaving?
NTA. Who tries to bring a TV and a video game console into the hospital room where their child is being born? EDIT: Unless it was agreed upon, in which case that’s fine.
NTA. YOU are the patient here, you get to choose who can be in your room or not. He doesn’t get to make it cozy for him and bring entertainment : his hobby right now is taking car of his newborn.
Those L & D nurses are sharks, don’t piss them off. No, he shouldn’t be there wasting both of your time. NTA.
Ngl. If i was giving birth i might like to play some video games, but the fucking audacity of occupying space in the hospital room where someone has just given birth to your child while not only not helping them, nor spending time with the child but being obsessed with how YOUR gonna be entertained? No. NTA. Bring a book and a bookmark cuz you’re gonna need to put it down a lot to help the patient to the bathroom
NTA – I am without words to describe his immaturity. Bringing his video game set up into the recovery room is beyond stupidity and you were right to throw him out. He’s selfish and honestly, just tag him for child support and supervised visits only.
NTA no means no, plus he should prioritize his child’s safety over a game console
This is why they invented the switch. Portable, without the need for a whole TV 🤦 you’ve dodged a bullet. Congrats on your bubba
NTA
That’s your hospital room for you to recover from the birth. It’s not his hang-out space. *No one* should be in there that isn’t helping you relax and recover.
The fact he still brought in his TV and PlayStation and tried to make it about himself and his video games after you said no is enough evidence that this is NOT someone you want in your childs life.
NTA
NTA. He can’t respect your requests after giving birth to his child. Also I would be concerned if he thinks spending time with his kid is playing on a gaming system.
>”I (19F) just had a baby 1 day ago. His father (21M) and I have not been together since November due to him cheating.”
All I needed to read. NTA. He cheated.
Yeah just so you know, he’s gonna be a bad father lmao. But I’m sure you know that
NTA. Speak only through a designated parenting app from now on, even after custody & child support details either mediated or court ordered. If you’re feeling petty you could ask how he thinks playing video games would count toward spending time with his new son.
Nta you said no and it’s you giving birth. You’re the priority.
NTA.
He clearly has no actual interest in being there for his son if he can’t actually * be there* instead of playing effing video games.
Nope, NTA. If he wants to be involved with your son, he needs to pay attention to your son.
A hospital is a place of quiet. Playing video games is generally not a quiet past time.
Contact an attorney to set up custody and child support agreements. In my state, Oregon, all I had to do was contact the District Attorneys office. Their child support enforcement group will work with you to get everything done.
NTA. Don’t engage and save all those texts.
NTA
Heres a fun short story for you. I went to a friends birth, she wanted me to film it for herself and her family. The babys father sat in the chair THE WHOLE TIME back towards her playing video games. I was very pissed at him, I still find it disgusting and immature, he was in his 30’s. Do not let him in that childs life, he is not mature enough for it.
Better keep that human away from you, he’ll be disappointing your child on a daily basis. NTA, who worries about getting bored when their child is about to be born?
NTA. It’s absolutely mind-boggling that anyone would think it’s okay to turn a delivery room into their personal gaming station instead of being present for such a monumental time. Good riddance and good luck with all the legal stuff. Holding firm on your boundaries now sets the stage for the future, and it’s clear your top priority is the well-being of your child. Stick to your guns, and definitely make sure all this is well-documented for any future custody discussions.
Nta
File for custody right away.
NTA
NTA. This guy sucks. I’m sorry you’re going to have to deal with him for at least the next 18 years.
If you’re in the US, you’re in the hospital about 24 hours or so. I remember the first few days being a blur of pain, constant feedings, trying to rest in between. Zero “downtime.”
I noticed he made the entire ride TO the hospital about him. As well as after the birth. Not the baby. Not you. Him. The nurses I know have zero patience for that and I bet they were cheering for you standing up for yourself and baby.
He was either desperate to be the center of attention himself or trying to put up a wall between you and the baby and him. None of the possible reasons are good ones.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby and for being a great mama already.
NTA
NTA. And don’t worry about the custody thing. Even if he sticks around, no judge is going to give the person who cares more about a tv and PlayStation than newborn baby.
NTAH his rights to his child don’t start till your discharged courts won’t side with him or call it parental alienation. Legally he was allowed to be kicked out by your care team.
Nta – it’s unfortunate but I’ve read that once people show you who they are, you should believe them.
This is him without being so sleep deprived he’s hallucinating?
He can’t leave his video games at home to take care of you and your child?
Who is going to be doing all of the baby care? You I guarantee it.
Congratulations on your new child. I hope you’ve people in your life who will help.
Stupidly, he thinks spending time with his son involves watching tv and playing video games.
NTA
NTA
NTA – there are not enough words to describe his immaturity and stupidity that he has shown so far. If I were you, I would start making plans to move on without him because you do not want to live with someone who has the maturity of a block of wood.
I cannot believe that he brought the entire set up to the hospital room – did he think he was going to sit there like it’s his loungeroom and play games? Sets the precedent for how ‘present’ he will be in your child’s life doesn’t it! I hope he takes that to his lawyer – ‘I showed up to the hospital with my gaming set up and was told to leave. No I didn’t bring a baby seat as requested to take my child home. There was no room coz I took my tv and it took up all the space. Yeah but I’m mad that I don’t get to spend time with my child…’ good luck buddy.
I am sooooo sorry to hear that you’re locked in with this asshole. It’s going to be a long ride.
NTA. And DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate.
NTA.
And give your child *your* last name!
I could kinda understand someone throwing a handheld like the Switch in their bag just in case but a whole-ass TV and PlayStation is ridiculous. Play something on your phone if there’s that much downtime.
NTA
NTA, this was your birth experience, and it is necessary to be in a state of calm as much as possible for yourself and your baby. Congratulations, and I hope that you and the baby are well.
>He starts yelling at me saying that I don’t make the rules
Pretty damn funny. It’s your hospital room. You sure as hell make the rules as to who is going to be in the room.
Guess the nurse taught him that lesson.
My condolences to you. You’re in for a rough ride trying to co-parent with someone who acts this entitled and selfishly.
NTA
There are no rules to bring his TV and PlayStation….. Well in my hospital it is because it could be a fire hazard if the equipment is faulty. It’s also rude because buddy is going to cause a ruckus. So I would be happy to send him and his toys away. Yes I’ve been called all the names, but the patient usually love me when I throw out their rude, thoughtless, loud asshole visitors NTA
I’m afraid you’ve got two babies to deal with.
i don’t think a day old baby can play video games quite yet… so that throws the “spending time with him” excuse away… it sounds like your sperm donor is a piece of work. nta
If he does battle you in court for custody, it’s unlikely he’ll have full custody considering that a) you literally have a child a day ago, so needs proper nursing, and b) his constant cheating which doesn’t make him a good role model.
So uh, nta.
NTA and today I learned through this thread that the expectations for soon to be fathers are even lower than I thought. When I gave birth, my husband passed the time trying to distract me from the discomfort and pain. We chatted and he attended my every needs. Good on you for showing healthy boundaries at your young age! From now on concentrate on yourself and your baby, don’t spend too much energy on this immature moron but also don’t let him off the hook concerning child support.