#ParentingDilemma: AITA for picking up my daughter from a sleepover without telling her friend’s parents? 🤔
Last weekend, my daughter Emily went to a sleepover at her friend Amanda’s house. It was Amanda’s birthday party and things took a snoring turn for the worst. Emily called me around 10 PM, feeling bored and unable to sleep with Amanda and other girls snoring away. I rushed to pick her up, but Amanda’s parents were sound asleep. Left a note, texted them, the whole nine yards.
Fast forward to 5:30 AM, Amanda’s mom freaks out about me taking Emily without letting them know. She claimed it was rude for Emily to sneak off. I suggest Emily could’ve slept anywhere else in the house, but Amanda’s mom wasn’t having it. Now, they’re not inviting Emily to sleepover again.
My husband thinks I should’ve just woken up Amanda’s parents, but I felt like Amanda’s mom overreacted. What do you think? AITA for trying to save my daughter from a snore fest? Sound off in the comments! 💬 #ParentingDilemma #SleepoverDrama #AITA
Well in all fairness, if you were hosting a sleepover for your child and a child went missing wouldn’t you freak out too? I realize you tried not to be intrusive but, I think you know your were YTA. I know I’d rather my sleep be disturbed than worry something nefarious happened to a minor child in my care.
Sorry but YTA. I would freak out if I woke up in the night to check on the girls, did a headcount. And lost one.
You should have woken the mom up and said you were taking Emily home. Better yet, Emily wakes mom and says you were coming to get her so mom can lock up behind her.
YTA-Of course the parents were going to freak out over a missing kid! Not all people check their phones first thing. The parents probably woke up, went to check the girls and found one missing!! You owe the parents a huge apology!
Well I guess it’s a good thing you daughter feels comfortable enough to ask you for help. Even if it’s for the lamest reason imaginable.
Going against the grain NTA, because you did your best to contact the parents without disturbing them.
NTA. I would never walk into some kid’s parents room, and wake them from a dead sleep to say I’m leaving. They probably would have yelled about that, too. Also, maybe my age is showing, but they didn’t check their phone before going downstairs to check on the kids? That’s the first thing i do if i wake up at 5:30am. They would have seen your text and you’d have been covered. Now, i could see them being mad off Amanda has woken up in a panic that her friend was gone, but that didn’t happen.
YTA. It probably also felt like a huge violation, although in this case you were the parent of a child there, imagine knowing someone had entered your home and removed a child without your knowledge? It probably was a scary moment to wake up and realise.
I agree that there were probably alternatives to coming to pick Emily up. Like moving to another location as Amanda’s mother suggested.
NTA. You called, texted, and left a note. It’s likely they saw at least one of those before they ever even realized she was gone. I think she was just pissed your daughter left.
NTA – you called the parents and left both texts and a note explaining what happened. I know I would’ve been freaked the fuck out if an adult who wasn’t supposed to be there started knocking on my bedroom door in the middle of the night.
You should be applauded for teaching your daughter that it’s okay to leave a situation where she’s uncomfortable without having to worry about offending other people. This is an extremely important life lesson that doesn’t get reinforced often enough.
**NTA**
You left texts and a note on the counter. Their suggestion that you should have entered their bedroom and woken them up seems bizarre to me.
I’m going with NAH since this is a crappy situation and it sounds like you did your best. You should have still apologized to the parents though, so I hope you did. I had sleepovers with friends all the time as a kid and would have felt extremely uncomfortable going into their parents’ bedroom. I also can’t imagine going into someone’s bedroom as an adult when they didn’t know I was in their home.
I think ideally Emily should have woken up Amanda to talk to her parents. But I assume she was probably just trying not to bother anyone.
NTA
You were taking care of your child. That’s your responsibility. The other parents should have had at least one of their phones not on do not disturb.
They have other people’s children in their home, they leave something available for people to reach out.
And you don’t say what state you’re in, but I would never walk into someone’s bedroom in the dark, at night, to try and wake them. You have no idea whether or not they have a weapon, PTSD or anything else.
YTA.
Of course they would freak out. Not everybody checks their phone right away.
Also, this has to be the lamest reason I’ve ever heard. Somebody go pick up their child from a sleepover. I’m glad that your daughter is comfortable calling you and she’s uncomfortable. But if you’re coddling her like this, You’re going to be picking her up from her job when she’s in her thirties because someone there refuses to change the thermostat to her liking.
Nta. no reason for them to freak out on you considering you left a note and texted them both. I can understand initially being worried but maybe check your phone before you harass em and drag it out for no reason
A slumber party of teenage girls who were all asleep by 10pm? 🧐
NTA. You left note and SMS. You would have been an ssshole to wale them up to tell them.
I mean a voicemail should suffice if the parents cant be reached by phone
NTA. You tried.
NTA You left a note, you called, you texted. After reading your note/text all she needed to do was check in and make sure Emily was okay. There was literally no reason for her to freak out on you.
NTA. You called them they didn’t answer. You left a note and sent text messages. They could have checked their phones.
NTA. After seeing a voicemail, text, and hand written note, she should have been able to deduce what happened. You did more than enough to communicate. It was rude of her to call you from the same phone she received your messages on and pretend like she didn’t know.
NTA you did everything you could. I’d argue the parents would be a lot more upset if they were suddenly awoken in the night with a man standing over their bed.
NTA – I think I’d have been embarrassed not angry that a child in a sleepover I was supposed to be supervising managed to unlock my door, let you in AND for you to have been in the house long enough to gather your daughters things and leave a note in the kitchen and I heard nothing. Maybe Amanda’s Mom is upset at that and taking it out on you who knows but if I were in her place I’d be looking to myself to figure out how I can be better aware of what’s going on at my house especially when I have a group of minors gathered there that I’m responsible for.
I guess I’m in the minority, but I firmly say NTA! If you had just taken your daughter in the middle of the night with no attempt to contact those parents then you’d be in the wrong, but calling, texting and leaving a note was your due diligence. I highly doubt they woke up and saw your daughter was missing without seeing the missed calls and texts on their phones. They weren’t worried, they just wanted something to be mad about.
YTA
Yeah I would never invite your kid back. Although you’re the parent but letting you just inside is weird af. Leaving because people are snoring and your kid is bored is weird af.
Good for Amanda’s mom not to tell Amanda because I def would have done that.