#neighborissues #propertyrights #fruitnet #neighborconflict #communityrelations
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Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation with your neighbor over something seemingly trivial? 🏡 Maybe you put up a tree net to keep your fruits from falling onto their yard, only to find yourself in the middle of a heated disagreement? 😬 Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Dealing with neighbor conflicts can be challenging, but there are practical solutions to help navigate these tricky situations.
### The Dilemma: Property Rights vs. Community Relations
**The Situation:** You inherit a house with a beloved guava tree that provides you with extra income by selling its fruits. To maximize your profit, you install a tree fruit net to prevent the fruits from falling onto your neighbor’s yard. However, your neighbor perceives this as selfish behavior and confronts you about the situation, leading to tension between you and your neighbor.
**The Emotions:** You may feel conflicted between asserting your property rights and maintaining good relations with your neighbor. Guilt, frustration, and confusion can arise when faced with such a dilemma, especially when it involves a neighbor with whom you’ve had a positive relationship.
### Finding Common Ground: Practical Solutions
**1. Open Communication:**
– **Discuss Your Intentions:** It’s essential to communicate openly with your neighbor about your reasons for putting up the tree net. Let them know that your decision was not intended to upset them but rather to maximize the use of your property.
– **Offer a Compromise:** Consider offering your neighbor the opportunity to purchase some of the guavas if they express interest. This gesture can show goodwill and help alleviate any perceived selfishness.
**2. Boundary Maintenance:**
– **Respect Property Lines:** Ensure that the tree net is installed within your property boundaries to avoid any disputes over encroachment onto your neighbor’s yard. Clear boundaries can help prevent misunderstandings and maintain a harmonious relationship.
**3. Neighborly Gestures:**
– **Extend Kindness:** Despite the disagreement, continue to be polite and considerate towards your neighbor. Small gestures of kindness, such as greeting them warmly or offering assistance when needed, can help to mend any strained relations over time.
**4. Seek Mediation:**
– **Involvement of a Third Party:** If the conflict escalates and communication becomes challenging, consider seeking the help of a mediator or community mediator to facilitate a productive discussion and reach a resolution that satisfies both parties.
In conclusion, it’s crucial to address neighbor conflicts with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to find common ground. By navigating the situation with patience and practical solutions, you can manage the dilemma effectively and maintain positive community relations. Remember that open communication, respect for property boundaries, and neighborly gestures are key elements in resolving conflicts and fostering a harmonious neighborhood environment. 🌳🤝
So next time you find yourself in a similar predicament, remember to approach the situation with a level head and a willingness to find a mutually beneficial solution. Don’t let a tree net come between you and your neighbor – build bridges, not walls! 🍃✨
NTA Pretty clear. It’s your fruit. Do what you want with it, including controlling where it lands.
Report him for letting his dog in your yard.
YTA
I think this is pretty petty if you ask me. If the tree isn’t over on his property how much fruit is actually falling over there?
Edit: your edit doesn’t change my response and frankly feels like you only put it there because not everyone is siding with you. Maybe you did this to generate extra income for a hospital bill, but I still refuse to believe a couple fruits picked off the ground is going to make much of a difference.
Nta put video cameras report the dog situation
NTA ~~INFO~~
> We realized that while the branches weren’t exactly hanging over our neighbor’s lawn, sometimes guava would either fall over or buck against the fence at the right angle and end up over there. So me and my wife purchased a tree fruit net for the side of the tree that was closer to the neighbors yard.
So just to be *crystal* clear here:
The net itself is **entirely** within your property? It’s not suspended in the air over part of your neighbor’s yard?
NTA… It‘s your tree, your fruit and your yard. But since the kid likes it, it might be nice and neighborly to bring some fruit over to them every once in awhile.
I’m going to go w/ a very gentle YTA. Are you within your rights to keep all the fruit? Most likely YES (check your municipality code/law to be sure). Are you a good neighbor who would GIVE some of the fruit to their neighbors because it’s a nice gesture and DUH – neighbors!? No. Do better. Yes it sucks that they are now encouraging their dog to poop on their lawn (they’re an AH too) but this all could have been avoided if you’d share a few damn pieces of fruit like a kind person.
NTA but it is petty.
Your dad seemed to have a decent relationship with them and letting them have fruit from the stuff that goes on their side.
If your business depends on this net catching 100% of it, it’s your right. But is it neighborly? No. Is it understandable why the neighbor is miffed? Yes.
NAH-Things change. Whereas your father was free giving and a bit more neighbourly, you see that fruit tree as a source of profit for you and your family. It’s different than what your neighbor was used to with your father, but everyone is different & that’s ok. He and his family must adjust to the new norm of how things currently are.
NTA. They can plant their own guava tree.
Ridiculous! It’s YOUR FUCKING TREE!
NTA
Doesn’t matter if it’s AH behavior or not, it’s definitely bad neighbor behavior, and if you don’t believe me, your neighbor’s response is all the confirmation you need.
Seriously, how many fruit were you losing to their side of the fence, and is that amount of extra income worth going to battle with a neighbor over?
When he talked you about it, it would have been the neighborly thing to offer him a box every year. It’s $5 by your accounting. Is a measly $5 worth the bad feelings between neighbors and a kid’s happy childhood memories of guavas from next door? Absolutely not. That’s why YTA.
Is what you’re doing legal? Yes. But is what you’re doing selfish and unkind? Also yes. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
If I were you, I’d stop by their house and apologize and give them a box of fruit. Tell them that upon further examination you realize you hurt their feelings by your unneighborly actions and let them know you will offer them a box every year going forward.
Bag up the poop with a note that says “Maybe you need a net too,” and drop it on their porch.
NTA BUT it is petty. Are you so hard up you can’t spare a few fruit? If that’s actually the case then you should say that. This is an easy fix, offer him a few fruit and call it a day, though only offer if he stops letting his dog poop on your lawn
NTA.
Your tree, your net, your fruit, your side of the fence. The y..t..a votes are silly as hell.
However, totally separate from whether you’re the AH, giving away a.few bucks worth of fruit once a year is probably the *smart* thing to do to keep the neighbors neighborly. The good will of the people who live next to you is often important in life.
ESH. You because you offered to sell him fruit for five dollars. *Five dollars?* You should have given it to him as a gesture of goodwill.
They suck for acting childish and letting their dog go in your yard. I bet they wouldn’t do that if you’d given them the fruit.
Unless there is high wind or an aberration in the local gravity, tree ripened fruit falls vertically. It is better to keep your neighbours as your friends.
Info: is there any reason the neighbour can’t plant his own tree?
Ima say NTA because lawfully it’s yours and neighbors shouldn’t expect things from their neighbors for free
I think the fact they approached you about it is a red flag on their part that pushes them to asshole territory*
YTA, but not for the obvious reasons. You spent how much on this net? Unless it was very cheap, the cost of the net would be exponentially more than what you could sell even a year’s worth of the guavas you’d catch in it for. You did it because you can’t stand the idea of even a penny of “your” money going to someone else. They shouldn’t have made a big deal about it but I understand why they feel slighted because you bought a big, expensive piece of equipment to offset a tiny amount of product loss for the sake of them not getting any.
ESH. I am not understanding how fruit from branches not hanging into your neighbors yard is getting into their yard. If branches hang over their yard then you are an asshole for the net. If it’s not and somehow magically got into their yard it could t have been much. But, the way they approached it was crazy too. And so nasty so they suck too. Feel bad for the kid though.
NTA
And take the dog poop and throw it at his yard!
NTA they can plant their own tree if they want one.
YTA and a bit of a dick. We have 26 trees in our orchard, some of the fruits fall in the neighbor’s yard, they love it and we’re great friends. If that $5 makes a difference in your livelihood, you’ve got more problems than guavas falling in your neighbor’s yard.
NTA. Fallen fruit could be a legal liability. It’s also weird that your neighbor feels entitled to free fruit.
NTA I mean to each their own cuz I probably would let them fall that way out of neighborly fun. But if it’s such a big deal… plant your own tree dude.
NTA
NTA. You are selling the fruit. You don’t know these people
NTA. It’s your tree. Do what you want with it.
The tree net will kill birds. We put up a couple to try and keep the crows off our apple trees and they killed several small songbirds before we could get them down.
Nta, what your dad did for them, was a nice gesture, but, the entitlement is what’s threw me off.
When a house changes owners, it’s normal for the new owners have different rules on their property.
ESH
Him for expecting the fruit and going about this in a confrontational way, and now passive aggressively talking to his kid about you and letting his dog leave you presents.
You for offering to sell him a box. Seems condescending.
NTA but how about a compromise?
Why not see if the neighbours kid would come help “harvest” these fruits for you to sell, you can pay him in fruit and you will probably become good friends with both the kid and your neighbours. As others have said it’s only 5 bucks and could be a nice learning experience for the kid
Get a fence stop the dog going in your lawn
NTA. Don’t feel guilty instead take the dog poop and throw it in their yard. It’s their dog anyways
NTA; nothing is stopping that neighbor from buying/planting his own fruit tree.
Which do you value more 4-5 pieces of fruit or a peaceful neighborly relationship?
You’re gonna have seconds and waste that is perfectly edible, but unsellable.
I’d regularly offer them gifts from that.
Maybe don’t take down the net since it’s up and the fight already happened, but giving away a few servings once or twice a month would be a huge gesture.
The comment section did not passed the vibe check.
OP, do NOT feel bad about this. NTA! The tree & the fruits are literally your property, and you can do whatever you want. Tell the kid the same thing, that it is YOUR tree, and your dad gave the tree to you as a gift after going to heaven (kids are smart, they’ll understand).
Also, a chaotic advice: hose down the dog every time it comes to poo on your lawn. If the neighbour gets offended, tell them you were just watering your plants. It’s their fault for letting their dog loiter around your property, & the dog is not your responsibility (it’s just water, so won’t harm the dog). As we know, there’s no bad pets, just bad owners.
Throw the poop back over the fence and you can be the poop fairy 💩 🧚♀️
Capitalism had broken people’s brains
Kind of petty. How much fruit actually ended up on the neighboring property?
NTA and honestly love how you phrased it, “We want to maximize the fruit that falls”. No targeting or lies, and totally clear. If I heard this I’d just think, “oh so this clearly isn’t about me. That makes comolete sense”. The guy is just feeling a bit entitled but also leeway because he may not have initially been. It’s just something he and his kid got used to and suddenly it is gone. Now dad has to deal with kid saying “I miss the fruit. Can you go buy me a fruit” that he’s never had to pay for in the past.
The neighbor can plant his own guava tree. You can buy them ready to fruit too.
NTA
My neighbor had a garden bordering my property. After they went into a care facility, no one picked it. I mentioned it to their son when he stopped by to mow the lawn. He told me I was welcome to pick. Later that his dad was happy I was using it. The dad and I used to chat while both gardening. I had a few plants but he had a larger plot. It was awesome for quite a few years to have as much asparagus as I could eat.
Then the house sold. I noticed the new neighbors weren’t picking it. (It was on the edge of my property where I walked daily, but behind their garage.) I asked the new neighbor. He said they didn’t like asparagus but he’d ask his wife. Later said that they had a friend who wanted it. Fine, it was theirs. Even when it wasn’t picked (quite often) I never touched it.
I just bought asparagus at the store when mine wasn’t enough. And didn’t turn my pet loose on their lawn either.
YTA, and I am curious how many of the people saying otherwise are from the US with their extreme variant of individualism. Query if enough fruits were falling on their side in a whole year to make up for the financial cost of the net (not to mention the cost of ruining a neighborly relationship). I concur with others who have suggested the net was about “keeping everything for yourself” rather than you really needed every fruit to make ends meet. I really hope you think about the consequences of a world of people acting so selfishly.