Should I Have Waited for My Wife at the Subway Station? #AITA #SubwayDilemma
Are you wondering if it was reasonable for me to leave my wife behind at the subway station while rushing to catch a train? Let’s dive into the details of this situation.
## Rushing to Catch the Subway
### Context:
– Heading to a brunch with parents
– Already 10 minutes late
– Parents expect punctuality
### Scenario:
– Train approaching as we reach the escalator
– Urged wife to hurry
– Managed to board, but doors closed on her
## Communication Barrier
### Challenge:
– Lack of cell service underground
– Unable to communicate with wife
## Arrival at the Restaurant
### Outcome:
– Arrived solo at the restaurant
– Parents inquired about wife’s absence
– Wife arrived 20 minutes later
## Wife’s Reaction
### Response:
– Wife expressed anger at being left behind
– Uncomfortable tension at brunch
– Gave silent treatment on the way home
## My Perspective
### Justification:
– Both knew destination
– Parents value punctuality
– Did not see waiting as necessary
In hindsight, was I wrong for prioritizing punctuality and assuming my wife would find her way to the restaurant? Share your thoughts. #SubwayEtiquette #CommunicationBreakdown
You “*knew my parents are easily irritated*”. Update: your wife is too.
Figure out your punctuality, and your priorities.
YTA
YTA – nah, you ditched her. You absolutely knew she didn’t get on the train and didn’t have a chance to. You had so many other options then leaving your wife alone on the subway platform.
Yta
You left your wife still looking like the bad guy, but as long as your parents weren’t waiting on YOU because you showed, that’s fine, right? Are you and your wife not a package deal, why didn’t you wait for her?
Honestly, YTA
Even if you didn’t leave the next stop you should have waited for her at the last stop, before going to the restaurant.
YTA. You shouldn’t have even gotten on the train without confirming she was with you. You knew the doors were about to close, it’s not difficult to turn around and check that she’s behind you.
YTA – good thing you didn’t upset your parents. Now you have a fucking seething wife. Worth it.
YTA. Bro left his wife stranded at a subway because he didn’t wanna upset mommy and daddy by being late to brunch? Newsflash genius, you were still late. The brunch was supposed to be with you, your wife, and your parents. If the whole party isn’t there I.e your better half…ding ding… YOURE LATE! So you left your wife at a train station AND brunches agreed upon meetup time wasn’t honored anyaway. Was it worth being in the doghouse with your wife? Next time leave early
YTA
Of course you made the train and she didn’t, you were already ahead and then raced to get there. I bet you would have ran around her if she were on the escalator ahead of you. You didn’t even try to grab her hand or pull her along. You could have just waited for the next train together and called/texted your parents that you would be late. Not to mention automatic subway doors won’t close if they’re obstructed, so you could have blocked the door for a few seconds to let her catch up. But you didn’t. You ditched her and made HER look bad when you were BOTH running late.
YTA – should’ve waited at the last stop and gone to the restaurant together. Seems like you were more worried about irritated parents than a now irritated wife
Why get married if you’re parents will always be more important that your partner? I mean you straight up ditched her instead of calling your parents and explaining you’d be late.
YTA and have shitty priorities
Is that subway in any way dangerous that it was problematic for her to be a woman travelling alone?
YTA here– not for not getting off at the next stop and getting on the next train (unless the train was dangerous) but because you should have waited for her at the station of your destination and walked to the restaurant together.
YTA. You prioritize your parents over your partner.
You should never jumped on that train. I would have cancelled lunch if I was her. You don’t respect and value your partner. Would you leave a friend behind? Child? Coworker?
YTA.
New Yorker here.
First, cell phones work on the subway at stops, so you could have texted her at any of the stops along the way and came up with a plan together. You probably even had time to text her while pulling out of the station where you jumped on and she didn’t make it.
Second, you say your parents are easily irritated when YOU arrive late- so do you think just having your wife be late solves that problem? Is she so inconsequential to your parents that they don’t notice or care that she is late but care deeply that you are?
Third, if you worry so much about being late, don’t be late. Leave earlier and plan better. I’m currently getting ready for brunch in NYC, the subway ride should take 30 minutes, so I am adding 10 minutes to my travel time because I have a reservation and if I just miss a train, I don’t want to stress.
Finally, you and your wife are a team. I’d argue any group of people traveling together are a team. You ask us why “would I have gotten off the train to wait for her unnecessarily?” Well, because it was necessary. You were traveling to a destination with your wife, the only reason you got on and she didn’t is because you were in front of her on the escalator, you failed to even try and communicate after this happened, and you also could have diffused the situation at brunch by like ordering her a drink and being really apologetic when she showed up. Instead, you put YOUR punctuality to look good in front of your parents in front of your wife being your partner and teammate.
Oh, and everyone knows you hold the door. You heard the ding, you jump on and turn sideways while looking back to make sure your other person gets on. You didn’t even attempt to ensure your teammate made it through, and that makes you a giant AH in NYC.
Ever heard of that, you know, an old saying from an old book about a man leaving his mother and father and cleaving unto his wife? I never gave it much thought until now but I guess guys like you are the reason they put that in there.
YTA. As a wife, I’d be terribly annoyed you were more worried about your parents than her.
I’m not sure I would have expected you to get off at the next stop and then get back on..I mean how would you even know where in the train she’d be, but I’d for sure expect you to be at the your destination train stop waiting.
What you did is cowardly. So afraid to upset your parents you ditch your wife. YTA
YTA. Never get on before your wife. Make sure she gets on right ahead of you. Not only YTA but a bad husband too.
YTA You could even have waited for her at the stop where you were getting off.
YTA.
You literally abandoned your wife on a subway platform in order to not anger your parents who apparently can’t handle someone being a little late. And you’re not sure if you’re in the wrong? Really?
YTA I would be absolutely livid if my husband pulled this on me.
YTA how much y’all want to bet this guy lets doors slam in his wife’s face all day long
wow, if you were my husband i would have ditched the whole brunch and went home. props to her for still showing up. YTA
She was on the other side of the platform too?? Wtf, did you sprint away from her? YTA and a jerk
YTA and an idiot
Your mommy and daddy are more important than your WIFE?
Yah. Oooooh Yah.
YTA
YTA i think yta bc you didnt wait at the ending platform and leave the subway together. Youre supposed to be a team.
YTA
If my boyfriend ditched me at a train station knowing we were heading to the same place, I’d be livid. Also not sure where you guys are situated, but my main concern reading this is your wife’s safety. Is it safe for a woman to be alone at this train station? I wouldn’t know, where I’m from the subway isn’t very popular, but I can’t imagine I’d feel safe.
YTA. And unless you learn to approach your marriage as a team, in which you and your wife are together, and your parents come second, your marriage is going to be a short one.
Either shape up or I expect your wife will find a person who treats her with basic courtesy.
You not once communicated by cell phone? Because usually subways have cell service or wifi at the very least.
YTA. You don’t leave your wife anywhere if you’re supposed to be traveling together.
YTA…you didn’t give a crap about your wife. “OMG, mommy and daddy are waiting for me…screw that woman I made a commitment to”
That’s why she’s mad. Complete disrespect.
YTA. I’m a punctual parent married to the other punctual parent of our grown children who are all married themselves. If one of my kids did what you did to their spouse I’d be pissed at my kid. Why are you so worried about not upsetting your parents? I have one parent left and while I don’t go out of my way to upset them, I surely am not particularly careful about keeping them happy either. That’s their job.
YTA. If you were my son and left my DIL behind being late to brunch would be the least of your worries. Luckily I’ve raised my boys better than that so it won’t happen. What kind of man leaves their wife behind to appease mommy and daddy?
YTA. If I was your wife I would have turned around and gone home. You admit you would have been late regardless. You should have waited or better yet not get on the train without her at all. And for what it’s worth, subway systems are vastly improved when it comes to getting cell service underground so I don’t believe that you had no way of contacting her and coming up with a game plan.
Your parents didn’t think “much of it” that you abandoned your wife like she was your sibling and ran ahead to be the light of Mommy’s life?
Bro. Just… Your parents must be wealthy for you to ditch your wife and you’re making sure you don’t upset them? Ugh.
Major YTA. If you’re not sleeping on the couch for the next month or being served divorce papers I’ll be surprised.
YTA
First….For getting on the train without her but lets say you thought she would make it so it was an accident
You didn’t wait for her at the end of the stops so you could walk into the restaurant together.
You could have texted your parents to let them know you’d be running late. Instead you decided their feelings were more important than your wife’s. Your parents are TA for not teaching you better.
There was no point in getting off at the next stop to get another train together. But you absolutely should have waited for her at the final station rather than just leaving and going to the restaurant alone
YTA , not for not getting off at the next stop as you’re both adults who can use a train alone . But for not waiting at the platform for your wife’s train to arrive & instead rushing off to the restaurant , and also for rushing off at leaving her behind in the first place . You could’ve texted your parents saying you’re on way but running a few minutes late , rather ditch your wife .
I bet she got off at the stop and looked around everywhere for you assuming you were waiting for her to continue on to the restaurant. I’d be so mad if my spouse did this to me. Like, in the event of a disaster, will you also run ahead and leave her behind? YTA
YTA because put yourself in your wife’s shoes.
how would you feel if you saw her literally sprint ahead of you to catch the train . what’d you do, give her a little push to get her out of your way too? smh how’d you get so far ahead
then you don’t text her at any of the stops.
don’t wait for her at any of the stops.
don’t text her at the FINAL stop .
don’t wait for her at the final stop!
don’t text her or wait outside the restaurant for her.
you just had her awkward af-ly walk up to the table while you and your parents are already sat?? making her look bad ? where’s your God damn manners what if something happened to her on the subway? crime in the NY subways is at an all time high rn , is it not ? did that even once cross your mind ?? a gentleman would’ve had his woman on the train before him. held the door for her if need be. you suck.