#EmergencySituationOnPlane #Doctor #FamilyVacation
Imagine being on a long flight, looking forward to your vacation, when suddenly a medical emergency arises on the plane. You hear the flight attendant desperately calling for a doctor, but no one responds. What do you do? Do you stay quiet, or do you speak up and try to help?
In a recent scenario, a Reddit user found themselves in a similar situation. Let’s delve into the story and discuss whether their actions were justifiable or if they crossed a boundary.
### The Scenario:
During a family vacation with his sister and her spouse, our Reddit user found himself faced with a critical decision. Two hours into an 8-hour flight, a medical emergency occurred onboard. The flight attendant asked if there were any doctors on board, and without hesitation, our user identified his sister’s wife as a doctor.
### The Dilemma:
Upon waking up his sister’s wife, who happened to be a general surgeon, our Reddit user faced unexpected repercussions. She was visibly displeased with being disturbed from her sleep and made it clear that she just wanted to relax with her family during the flight. This led to tension between them for the remainder of the journey.
### Evaluating the Situation:
Now, let’s break down the key points and assess whether the Reddit user’s actions were justified in this scenario:
1. **The Urgency of the Situation:** In any emergency, especially a medical one, time is of the essence. The flight attendant’s call for a doctor indicated a critical moment where immediate intervention was required.
2. **The Availability of Medical Assistance:** Despite the inconvenience it caused, waking up the doctor on board was a necessary step to ensure that the passenger in distress received prompt medical attention.
3. **Balancing Personal Needs and Responsibilities:** While it’s understandable that the doctor wanted to rest during the flight, the duty to provide medical aid when no other professional stepped forward raises questions about prioritizing personal comfort over potential lifesaving assistance.
### The Verdict:
In this situation, the Reddit user’s actions can be seen as both well-intentioned and necessary. When faced with a medical emergency and a lack of immediate help, it becomes a moral obligation to seek out individuals with the skills to assist, even if it inconveniences them momentarily.
### Final Thoughts:
Reflecting on this scenario, it’s evident that the decision to wake up the doctor on the plane stemmed from a genuine desire to aid someone in need. While tensions may have arisen due to differing priorities in the moment, the overarching goal of ensuring the well-being of others remains paramount.
In instances like these, it’s crucial to weigh the urgency of the situation against personal preferences, understanding that certain circumstances may require us to set aside our immediate comforts for the greater good.
So, in conclusion, was the Reddit user in the wrong for waking up his sister’s wife during an emergency on the plane? The answer may vary depending on individual perspectives, but ultimately, prioritizing the well-being of those in need can often outweigh temporary inconveniences.
Remember, when faced with situations that demand swift action, don’t hesitate to lend a helping hand – even if it means disrupting the peace momentarily. Your willingness to assist could make a significant difference in someone’s life.
YTA – you shouldn’t have volunteered her without asking her first.
YTA
You should have asked her before volunteering her!
Even Doctors are allowed time off!
NTA. I work as a Registered Nurse Associate in the UK and I’m currently a student mental health nurse. I have to follow the Nursing and Midwifery Council code of conduct, and I’m also never ‘off duty’. I see an incident which I can (safely) help, I have a requirement to do so. I assume the same for doctors too, and if you choose to peruse a healthcare career, then you have to care off the clock too.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been out and my boyfriend has volunteered me to help in incidents I hadn’t even noticed, but I wouldn’t ever be mad at him. I have the ability to help, and potentially save a life, so why wouldn’t I?
NTA. If I read your post correctly, you waited to see if someone else would identify themselves as a doctor. And when no one else did, you told them about your sister. I would have done the same thing. What if it had been a life or death situation where her help might have saved a life?
YTA don’t volunteer somebody without their consent.
YTA. You could have woken her up and told her of the emergency without volunteering here.
NTA – look, at the end of the day, it might’ve saved someone’s life it was an emergency. This feels like a classic trolley problem with your sister’s sleep on one track and a whole human life on the other. It’s a utilitarian calculation. I would risk my sister being a bit grumpy at me if it meant someone received emergency medical care. You did the right thing
YTA. You don’t get to decide whether or not your sister is going to do something. What makes you think she’s comfortable doing something outside of her specialty, with zero notice, after being woken from a nap, in a freaking plane??
I understand why you told them she was a doctor – there was an emergency and help was needed.
However, next time wake her up to quietly ask her if you can volunteer her. After all, if you volunteer her they will wake her anyway so you waking her quietly at least gives her an opportunity to decline and fall back asleep.
I assume in most cases where there is an emergency, most doctors or nurses or police officers or firefighters will want to help. However we live in litigious times. What if she had consumed a couple of alcoholic drinks thinking she’s on vacation and off the clock, and then got sued by the person she was helping (even if any bad outcomes were not her fault).
I assume you didn’t intend any harm but it is best to check first.
YTA, but it wasn’t out of malice.
There are a few things to consider in a situation like this.
First off, most physicians (and other medical professionals) like being able to separate their professional and personal lives. It should be up to each person to decide if they get involved while off-duty, especially while on vacation.
Second, if she was exhausted, had been drinking, etc, it puts her in a very bad spot.
Finally, from the legal side of things, things can get really tricky for working off duty, out of jurisdiction, etc.
If I was sleeping (or even awake) on a plane and somebody I was with volunteered my medical service, I would be PISSED.
I would apologize. You’re in the wrong here.
I would apologize to her
YTA. Don’t volunteer other people’s time and effort, especially when there is the potential for liability.
YTA. Yes, your instinct was wanting to help. YOUR instinct. So go on, help. What you cannot do is volunteer someone else. You also seriously need to see it from your sister’s point of view. She is a general surgeon – probably coming off a long shift on call; finally on holiday with her family! Part of that holiday, that vacation, is being without the pager, without the incessant need to constantly be helping everyone else – and having a nap! And as someone else very astutely pointed out – maybe she was exhausted and felt herself unable to help – and you just put her in the liable spot of now being the doctor. The girl just wanted and needed a nap on the holiday she very kindly invited you on. I appreciate and admire your wanting to help the poor person with the emergency – but unless you yourself are the doctor, keep quiet when they ask for one.
NTA – Emergencies don’t come with a Do Not Disturb sign. You did what felt right
Soft YTA. I’m in the medical field. My mother volunteered me on a plane once for a woman possibly miscarrying. There was absolutely nothing I could do. We have no drugs. No equipment. We are lucky if the plane has a decent first aid kit and an AED. Yes, I would be willing for CPR but that’s my choice. Most medical professionals are tired and stressed and burned out. You need to ask before you potentially make someone liable and/or risk themselves by being exposed to whatever to happening.
You know… I honestly wish, that all the people who call OP an AH, would stuck in this situation as a person, who needed help.
And people who was able to help them, simply refused. Because they “dOn’T mIx WoRk aNd LiFe”.
I’d be curious to know – if all those who voted Y-T-A had something like that happen to them, where either themselves or a loved one were faced with a health emergency, and someone who could potentially save their lives was present but decided to keep relaxing instead of helping, would they be as understanding and cool with it? Because I have a feeling they would be singing a different tune.
NTA
I’ll say NAH. You wanted to potentially save a life. I see why you did what you did. I can see her being annoyed.
I do think her giving you the cold shoulder was way too much. My SO is a doctor, and he would have probably been surprised if I *hadn’t* woken him up. You meant well.
I wouldn’t want her as my doctor no matter how brilliant she thinks she is. She’s the asshole.
You should apologize. I recently had this conversation with a friend of mine who is an ER doc who was explaining why he didn’t stop on the road at an accident site after a night shift when he was on his way to have a fun day with friends. I didn’t realize this before the conversation, but he explained that as a doctor if you stop and help, you are then liable for that person’s care until you can hand them off to someone of higher or similar care ability (so for him, another ER doc). That meant that had he stopped to help, he would have had to travel with any people he was treating in the ambulance all the way to the nearest hospital, and then do a handoff there. After a full overnight shift when he had other plans he was looking forward to, and being about an hour away from the nearest ER, he wasn’t willing to do so when he knew there was already other emergency personnel on the scene who could do just as much as he could. He also told me this is why he always drinks immediately when getting on a plane, so that he can say he is impaired if any emergencies come up and isn’t liable for taking someone off the plane to the nearest hospital, ruining his trip for himself and whoever he is traveling with.
I’m in the US and idk what laws are everywhere (I’m sure they are different) but I would bet the general rule applies. Doctors that volunteer are then obligated to follow rules and laws that could severely impact them and those they are with, and they should get to decide for themselves what they are willing to do.
NAH. I’m a physician and have volunteered under similar circumstances. You obviously had good intentions, but your SIL also has the right to autonomy in terms of whether to help. You should have woken her up to notify her of the emergency and let her make her own decision.
I think your mistake was in doubling down and defending yourself when she was obviously upset. An apology is in order.
YTA. She’s allowed to be angry. She did what she was asked and helped the person who needed it. Why did she need to do it with a smile on her face when you volunteered her for something while she was asleep? I’d be angry too
YTA I think in your mind you think she has an obligation to help when she doesn’t. I think part of you will also thinks that doctors are just waiting for that opportunity to jump up and help. The long and the short of it is it wasn’t up to you to make that decision for her or put her in that position.
YTA, but not exactly for notifying the the flight attendant that Elizabeth was a doctor. Ideally you would have woken Elizabeth up so she could have volunteered herself, but I can see how you might have reacted quickly when you heard there was an emergency. When Elizabeth told you why she was upset, however, you didn’t apologize – you got defensive. You doubled down and further told her it was wrong of her for being exhausted and wanting a break from work. An “I’m sorry, I’ve learned from this and it won’t happen again” probably would have helped a lot.
NTA everyone is upset at you for “volunteering” her help, but you didn’t actually volunteer it. The flight attendant asked all the passengers if there were any doctors on board and stated there was an emergency- you said yes there is. SIL chose to walk to the back with the attendant- if she wanted to ignore a potential emergency to catch some wink eye she could have declined to help. What were you supposed to do? Stay tight lipped and pretend you didn’t hear them saying there’s an emergency on board? Potentially let someone die because you don’t want to disturb your SIL’s nap? She’s selfish as hell, what if it was her child and she wasn’t on that flight? Would she want any hypothetical doctors to ignore the calls for help? Sure clearly this time it turned out to be less than life threatening but how were you to know that?
YTA
It’s not your place to volunteer anyone for that situation. She’s not protected by Good Samaritan laws because she’s a licensed professional. You put her in an impossible position AND you woke her up.
I wouldn’t want to spend another moment around you if you did that to me. It’s a total violation.
Gentle YTA. I’m a nurse practitioner. After too many times of having loved ones volunteer my services on vacations and at parties, I’ve made it VERY clear they will invoke my wrath if they do it again without my consenting to it first. I know they mean well, but my off time away from my job is very valuable to me. I believe I generally have the right to decide when and if that’s interrupted.
Edit: I also hardcore second what people are saying about liability concerns.
NAH. What you did was not ‘wrong’ in any meaningful sense but your sister was entitled to feel that she was off the clock and it would have been her decision whether or not to assist. That said, I am kind of leaning towards your sister’s perspective. Every time a doctor gets involved in assisting someone, she opens herself to some form of legal liability. You put her in a position where she couldn’t really refuse, risked ruining her holiday (even surgeons need to take a break before they become dangerous to themselves or others), and put her at risk of legal liability.
NAH. You didn’t do this out of spite or malice. You were genuinely trying to help the person who was in an emergency. You didn’t know that Elizabeth would get upset about being woken up. At the end of the day, it wasn’t that you woke her up to take care of someone’s vanity project, it was a genuine emergency and we all do what we can to help in such a case
YTA NEVER volunteer someone else. NEVER do it. No where no how just don’t do it. Last vacation you’ll be invited on. Instead of arguing you should have apologized and then apologized again.
Look I don’t think anyone is the ah here. I understand your response, truly I do. But as an ex ER nurse, I can tell you there is a plethora of reasons why docs and nurses don’t always jump in to help in these situations. The reason she gave you is one, and a good one. The other reason is, that we can be held liable for anything that goes wrong. As we are not classed as just a Good Samaritan but as a professional. So imagine being exhausted and out of your element and then someone volunteers you to help in a situation you maybe aren’t comfortable with, then something goes wrong (or it just doesn’t completely go right) and suddenly your practicing cert or medical license is at risk.
Again, there’s really no way you could know all this, and I’m guessing if she’d been awake and didn’t volunteer herself you probably wouldn’t have done it on her behalf. I also understand why she was grumpy in the moment. I say just apologise and that you have now become aware of some of the nuance in the situation, and absolutely see where she’s coming from, that it won’t happen again.
YTA. You don’t volunteer medical personnel. She might have drank alcohol and be slightly under the influence. She might have take medication that inhibited proper thinking. She might just be dead tired. And while I think your SIL might not be dealing with that (please I hope not), I can’t imagine anything worse in life than being voluntold to provide services when you are battling severe mental health problems and you really need that break.
If Elizabeth makes a mistake, she gets the blame, and not the people who voluntold her. She might not have felt like refusing to cooperate was an option – not everybody wants to explain why they want to refuse.
Apologize…. Don’t ever “out” a medically trained person, ever.
You don’t know their mental space…. they could’ve had a drink or taken a med or just fucking exhausted…. our license isn’t worth a fuck up because we “have to help”. Yes, we can refuse and depending on the situation, we can be sued because we did. Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t.
Lastly when we’re off the fucking clock; we’re off the fucking clock and whether or not we chose to “help” is at our discretion. Most of the time we won’t risk our license by jumping into a bad situation with no winners.
Why on earth would you not just wake her up and let her decide whether she wanted to be involved?
Why on earth would you volunteer that there was a doctor on her behalf? Like, it seems you didn’t even know she was asleep, so without even looking in her direction you just volunteered her despite her not saying anything?
Yeah, what you did was wrong YTA.
NTA and I cannot believe the people who are voting otherwise. She is unquestionably the AH and the people voting otherwise have no compassion or empathy. What if it was a heart attack? Or someone choking? Or someone having a stroke? or a seizure?
How would anyone here feel if their loved one died and someone who could have saved their loved one’s life but didn’t even bother to try because they were sleeping? I know I would be utterly devastated.
Even if she came back and said it ended up being nothing you didn’t know that at the time. I still go back to, what if it was something?
You are not the AH even a little bit and everyone here who says otherwise is devoid of empathy.
The theoretical counterpoint to all the Y T A’s here is, OP says nothing, the person dies in midair, then both he and SIL have that on their conscience for the rest of their life.
I can be convinced either way here.
NTA
I really REALLY don’t get why a person’s right to sleep/rest/volunteer themselves trumps the right of another person not to die in a medical emergency. If a person can help, why in the name of all that’s holy wouldn’t they? Make her own decision? There should be no decision to make.
Whatever happened to the Hippocratic oath:-
I think votes are going to keep being split by country:
– From the US: Y T A because of that dystopian cultural thing of people being eager to sue anyone, in addition to general individualism/selfishness.
– Anywhere else: NTA, you were told that it was a health emergency and your sister’s sleep (in a plane, not particularly good quality sleep) is way less important than the potential consequences of not helping. It’s punishable in other countries for a reason.
NTA. The detail about her laughing at the end just scared the shit out of me, i mean, now i’ll know that if i need some emergency help, there is a big risk that the people who can help me won’t, and then they’ll laugh about it. Damn humans man 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Personally, I’d say NTA. Until today, I didn’t think it was controversial that doctors and nurses should always help if they can. Apparently, it is, but you’re not the only one who didn’t know that lol
What I don’t understand: If she was so tired why didn’t she say that? Tell the flight attendant that her ability to help is compromised because she is too tired and they have to find someone else. That would be a valid reason, wouldn’t it?
May I ask what exactly the emergency was? If you know? Maybe she was pissed because it turned out to be nothing serious? That wouldn’t be your fault, but maybe she feels it wasn’t worth waking her?
Unless you’re gonna die yourself. Not helping when you’re the only one who can is an asshole move. There’s nothing more too it. Whatever your reason is an asshole reason. And if you want to be a asshole then be one but you should not be in a career position that requires you to not be one.
NTA. If I or a loved one were in a medical emergency on a plane I would expect a doctor present to assist even if they were napping before.
NTA, it could have been a life or death situation so I don’t blame you for immediately saying yes there is a doctor on board. From that point it’s up to her whether she wants to help or not. I don’t know why people are blaming you for what any of them would’ve probably hoped for if their life was at risk.
I’m finding this comment section wild…to everyone saying he’s the AH, would you say the same thing if it was your loved one in need of medical attention?