Hey there! 🌸 I’m so sorry to hear about the tough situation you’re going through. Dealing with pregnancy, a long-distance move, and now a concerning incident involving your partner and your dog must be extremely overwhelming. Let’s dive into this and try to provide you with some guidance!
First of all, hashtags like #NeedAdvice and #ToughChoices come to mind when discussing such a serious matter. It’s important to keep your well-being, as well as the well-being of your baby and your furry friend, at the forefront.
It’s concerning that your partner has exhibited aggressive behavior towards your dog. 🐾 This incident is definitely a red flag and should not be taken lightly. While it’s true that stress can affect people in different ways, it’s not an excuse for harmful actions. It’s crucial to assess whether this behavior might escalate towards you or even your child in the future. Safety is always the top priority!
The lack of financial support for your prenatal care is also worrisome. 💰 As an expectant mother, you deserve the utmost support during this journey. It’s crucial for your partner to take responsibility and contribute to the expenses related to your pregnancy, including medical care. While it’s not fair for him to expect your family to shoulder all the financial burden, it’s worth discussing this aspect with him to gain a clearer understanding of his expectations.
Living in a new area without a strong support system or experiencing depressive episodes can make every challenge feel magnified. It’s essential to prioritize both your mental and emotional well-being during this crucial time. Reach out to resources available in your community like therapists, support groups, or even online counseling if that’s accessible to you. Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by positivity and understanding.
Now, the big question: should you leave and have the baby back home? 🏡 Only you can make that decision, but it’s definitely worth considering alternative living arrangements that offer a more supportive environment for you and your upcoming arrival. If your family and friends back home are understanding and willing to provide the support you need, it might be a good idea to explore that possibility. Having a strong support system during and after pregnancy can make all the difference.
Ultimately, you deserve to be in a safe and loving environment for yourself and your baby. Trust your instincts and don’t hesitate to seek advice from professionals, such as counselors or therapists, who can provide a more personalized assessment of your situation.
Sending you immense strength and positive vibes during this challenging time. Remember, you deserve happiness, safety, and a fulfilling life surrounded by love! ❤️
He sounds very emotionally immature and if he can’t handle a dog barking he will absolutely not be able to handle a baby. Because once the baby comes youll both be under much more pressure, no sleep and exhausted and you cant take out your frustrations on the baby. Honestly If you have a good place to go I would do it, I would not trust my baby with someone who loses it so easily and already says he didnt want the baby. He is not up for the job and not supporting you or your medical care shows that. Having a baby is 10x harder when you have to fight your partner. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE BEST TIMES OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU WONT GET IT BACK, dont be in a place you are uncomfortable or unsafe.
You have a right to be concerned. He doesn’t even want the baby. I don’t see many upsides to staying with this guy to he honest. What are the relationship positives?
Honey, if he hits your dog, he will hit you/baby. That’s how it starts. Leave ASAP. Please.
You need to run, this is a HUGE red flag for future physical abuse of you and your child. He’s testing what he can get away with now. I encourage you to contact an abuse hotline for help, as the most dangerous time is when you leave. They can help you make a plan to keep yourself, your baby, and your dog safe as you escape.
Anyone who would hurt an animal is super dangerous for a baby. Take your pup and get out of there!!
Hard yes, be in a different jurisdiction than his assignment. Talk to his commander after you leave.
You are just seeing red flags now????? Girl, that parade started a long time ago. Leave now. Patient and gentle, my Aunt Fanny. NTA.
I don’t see this guy as ‘gentle’ or ‘patient.’ He sounds like a miserly person and someone who’s resentful of you, in fact. Due to him, you’re living in a very expensive area.
You need to go back home to your parents, and take your poor dog with you. He can’t force you to go back where he’s at and if he’s violent, contact his commander.
Why don’t you have health insurance? You are not married???
You need to call your family to pick you up since I doubt you can fly.
You have been blind going like “it’s fine he is not paying pre-natal care” “it’s fine I have nobody and pregnant and no money” and now you are here, when he hit your dog. He will kill your dog or get rid of your dog when you are busy in the hospital or with the baby.
Open your eyes ffs. Get out.
Definitely leave. You need to pack yourself and your dog up and go home to your family. This man does not truly love you, if he did he would whole heartedly be willing to take care of you and his unborn child. He will absolutely become physically abusive with you and the baby when you’re facing sleepless nights and all the stresses that go along with an infant. I turned 23 a month after having my first and was in a similar situation but packed up and left well before my son was born because I could see the writing on the wall. Please please have strength for yourself and your baby and get out of there now!!
He is financially abusing you and is now abusing an animal. You are in a domestic violence relationship and he has isolated you from everyone.
When he is at work, pack your things and your dog and go home. Never go back
Take your dog and run before baby is born. I’m so so sorry
Why are you trying to start a family with a man who has made it clear that he doesn’t want one? You, your dog and your baby need to be safe so yes, go back to the family who can help you.
anyone who abuses an animal is a monster.absolutely inexcusable.leave him and run i am surprised that u did not hit him back. i will not spare anyone who hurts my baby
Your entire post is just a massive red flag.
Oh my god there’s 500 red flags in this wtf. PLEASE LEAVE HIM. Return home with your family and raise that child yourself. Put child support on him.
People who are prone to abusing animals will start on you next. You need to leave
Getting rid of her because he can’t regulate his temper – just wait until the baby is crying and he can’t regulate his temper there. I’m disgusted – no man will ever hit my dogs and be around long enough to apologise. Violence to pets makes me so angry – hitting is never ever ok
Yes, leave as soon as possible!!
It sounds like your family is supportive:
Have a favorite member or two fly out, rent a car/truck/van/uhaul/whatever you need to fit your stuff, pack up and GO.
I would literally drive you home myself if it meant keeping you safe.
Please update us.
Jesus Christ. Just leave. What more do you need? He is already being financially abusive and he hit your dog. Get off the internet and go home. Leave him and be safe.
You just listed not one but like 10 red flags. Leave. Immediately. He will continue to take his stress out on you and baby and dog. Are you waiting for something worse to happen? Why are you even with a man who doesn’t even want a baby with you or to marry you or to provide for you financially? Not to be mean but it sounds goofy sis. Go where you are actually wanted. You have family to support you during this time you need love the most.
A baby NEVER makes life easier. It doesn’t save a relationship or calm stress. It doesn’t metamorphosis someone into a better person.
Almost always it will bring out the worst in a person. Stress, noise, lack of sleep. It will make even the happiest person grumpy.
If your boyfriend is starting out so “grumpy ” he’s hitting a dog multiple times — It will absolutely get worse.
Any cracks a relationship has, any flaws, a newborn will turn them to holes. Into canyons. Into crevasses with unknown depth.
(I mean, I love babies. I love newborns. Obviously many couples get through it. But something like 80% of married couples report a decrease in happiness and marital happiness the first years of having a child. The difficulty is REAL.)
And when did you think getting pregnant was a smart move?
It’s also his fault..don’t wanna be a daddy? Wrap it.
I should leave the guy who doesn’t want the kid is not gonna get better just because the kid is there
Go home. You say he’s cranky but never violent. But he has just been violent. Your family are paying for everything anyway, so you might as well live with them and be safe. It was not a good decision to have a baby with this man, though.
In the nicest way, why the fuck did you get yourself pregnant by a guy who doesn’t want a family and why thr fuck did he get you pregnant? To shut you up or something? You guys should have never ever been together, I feel so sorry for that kid and the dog.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. This is an abusive relationship, and you should leave for your own and your baby’s sake. Neither of you are safe with a man who has:
1. Isolated you from your friends and family
2. Tried to make you have an abortion (what makes you think he will treat this child well if he didn’t even want to keep it?)
3. Financially abused you, controlling the money that you have access to
4. Refused to support you and your child’s healthcare during pregnancy and post-partum
5. Demonstrated violent behaviour
What would you tell your daughter to do in this situation?
If you’ve already had some depressive episodes since being in this situation, you’ll be at a higher risk of post-partum depression and you and the baby need to be around people who you trust and who can support you.
The military will cover your prenatal care so he’s not only avoiding paying for it, he is not letting his command know that he has a baby on the way. Contact his command and get on tricare for the baby. He should have done this already and he’s going to get in trouble when you contact them so you might want to move somewhere first. If you live in a high cost of living area off base, he receives a Basic Allowance for Housing that covers living in that area. So he’s holding back money intentionally that is meant for him to live on, once he has a baby on the way and if you all get married he will get money for that as well. He knows this and is choosing not to do it/not to tell you. He’s abusing you. Report this asshole to his chain of command and get the resources and care that he is denying you and his baby. Time for him to step up and the military will absolutely punish him until he does. They will also punish him for abusing you or the baby when that time comes and if you decide to stay. He is taking advantage of your age, and your distance from family, assuming you won’t do anything. If you can’t get in contact with someone on his base try [military one source](https://www.militaryonesource.mil/)they support military families.
Exactly why are you there? Your bf has told you he doesn’t want this baby and he isn’t going to contribute any monies toward supporting the baby. He is miliary. If he had married you, all the expenses associated with prenatal care and delivery would have been covered under his military benefits. This speaks volumes to me. He has no intention of ever marrying you.
He is annoyed by your dog and he beats the dog. What do you think is going to happen with a crying baby? You need to leave and go home to your family. Again, I am puzzled as to why you stay.
Not to be dramatic but..what is wrong with you? You are with someone who does not want their child, pulled you away from family, won’t help pay any hospital care etc and you’re concerned that they hit your dog! What do you think will happen when a baby starts crying.
Run and don’t look back
Go home. Go home. GO HOME.
Someone who is patient and gentle doesn’t refuse to support their partner financially and keep them in poverty, deny them access to health care.
He really didn’t want this child, and all of these things are his way of punishing you for having a baby he doesn’t want. He hit your dog- you and your child will be next. I’m sorry if that sounds dramatic, but ask me how I know…
Go home. Get away from him. This isn’t going to get better, he isn’t going to magically change into a wonderful husband and father once the baby is born. From his perspective, you baby-trapped him as a way to force him to marry you. This isn’t going to get better.
Pack your stuff today, and go home.
I’ll take my downvotes
I truly cannot understand how someone sees their partner act violent and still even considers keeping their child in that home
He doesn’t want you, your baby, or the dog. Leave. You’re putting yourself and them in danger and your baby and dog deserve to have a safe environment