#CareerAdvice #MentalHealth #EngineeringJobs
Hey everyone, I need some advice for my brother who just graduated from a top university with a high paying job offer. He’s dealing with some serious mental health issues and is finding it hard to even think about going to work. Here’s a little background:
– He has struggled with depression for a while
– He has concerns about the work environment and commute
– He has an offer for a great salary but is unsure if he can handle it all
Do you have any advice for him? Here are a few possible solutions I’ve come up with:
– Encourage him to prioritize his mental health and seek professional help if needed
– Consider talking to his employer about the struggles he’s facing and see if there are any accommodations that can be made
– Look into alternative job opportunities that may be a better fit for his mental well-being
Any other ideas? Let’s help him out together! 💪🏼 #SupportEachOther
Honestly he definitely shouldn’t take it. I’m in a relatively high paying job out of college but also super depressed and isolated. Tell him to do something simple like join the military or go work for a government job. Life’s to short to sell yourself for $
I would suggest that he see a therapist ASAP.
It’s a real catch-22. Turn down the job, and he runs the risk of exponential failure. Take the job, and he runs the risk of things getting even worse. Talk to him about his expectations–if they are low enough, then perhaps he would be comfortable giving up on the opportunity.
If he passes this offer up and potentially doesn’t get an offer in the years to come and has to settle for a job outside of his career then do you think he would be more depressed?
Will he be working with people on site? A new job may help him feel more confident. It may him feel more connected being around people. The first few weeks are not going to be hard. The commute sounds terrible, however.
Could you ride with him? He can always quit.
ETA- I’ve been severely depressed before. I’m still on antidepressants.
There are worse jobs out there. Hope he finds happiness outside of work.
Depression is gruel exhaution and tiredness deep in his soul and spirit. He looks successful but it is not worth it. Money could take care of his health and all but it is the health care industry that will gaslight him for suffering they don’t actually help or support people.
Look into peer support groups to chat because he will have people with relatibility of hardships and struggles. Try to look for other students or those of same age, do not look for health care personnel unless you want to risk malpractice.
Regret might be more painful down the line.
He should consider medication. And it’s likely that he’ll remain depressed even if he declined this job offer. And who knows, maybe a job will keep him distracted from other problems?
He should go for it, and then decide to quit if he doesn’t like the job.
Seek a therapist and maybe get an apartment closer to work. Jobs eventually get mundane years gone by no matter how passionate you felt at the beginning. What important most is that it supports the fun and hobbies you have outside that 8 hours a day.
Be depressed and rich
when I have nothing to do and have no responsibilities I am also depressed and do drugs. He should take the job and try his best, at minimum he gets some job experience and can quit at any time.
There’s usually a long ramp up time for new grads at companies, that will buy him time as he recovers. The company’s health insurance could be helpful here in paying for therapy.
As the brother, don’t blame yourself if he doesn’t take your advice. You have a huge heart, it’s very evident from your post, but you can’t force him into a decision. Take care of yourself too during this challenging time
Maybe he can negotiate to have a hybrid schedule? Few days in person few at homev
That way it’ll at least reduce the burden of commuting
I think he shouldn’t take the job. Health is most important and a high pay doesn’t mean anything when you’re suicidal. I’d like for him to avoid the worst case scenario which is getting stressed and depressed by the job and killing himself. I think he should continue with therapy and find what makes him happy in life and be comfortable with a lesser paying job.
Money doesn’t fix being depressed. But as my history professor once said; “I would much rather cry in a Lamborghini than on a bike.”
What is a high paying offer in your opinion? If it’s less of the amount that it takes to cure his depression then it’s not high enough for him. Let people live their own lives
Is it possible for your brother to move closer to work to cut down on that commute? I agree he needs therapy…I do NOT think he should pass this offer up. It’s a ROUGH job market right now
All my jobs have been boring for the most part so I’m taking both degee and non-degree courses to keep myself busy. If he likes to study then that’s an option. Pursuing hobbies and interests outside working hours can also help.
My suggestion would be to try it. If it’s really not what he wants then he can go to another company later. Aside from a few months of sacrifice, there isn’t much to lose.
Taking the job is a no risk call.
If he somehow likes it, great. And there is a chance of that, even if it’s small.
If he hates it he leaves. No worse for wear.
But if he doesn’t take it he potentially only loses out on an opportunity that he might like it.
He should take whatever measure he can to try to minimize his stress. If that means renting a basement apartment right next to work, do it.
That’s it. Simple logic says, take the job and give it a shot. All other paths have no chance of happiness or success.
Just remind him life is what you make it. We are depressed with little opportunities like this. He is getting a way to live better than the average person. In time he can ditch the commute, get his own place, or even just travel during vacation time, have an opportunity to buy things that can fill his life with a bit more happiness than most. Being depressed is such a heart breaking thing I know, but he has legs to get up and a brain to use his degree, maybe life is offering him a chance to make things better for himself. He just needs to get up and try. He knows this is right thing to do so if he does it and it sucks well he can go back to being just like most of us. Broke and depressed. But if by some miracle he can make this work then he will be 20 steps ahead of us in no time.
There are 2 reasons I can think of that would make s man depreseed:
1. External factors- Money, Family problems, etc
2. Internals factors- Lack of self satisfaction & enjoyment, not having a goal that excites you, life feeling repeatative
Here 1st factor seems to be sorted so that leaves us to deal with only 2nd, which can be Easily achieved by developing a HOBBY and a sport would be the best option.
It will give your brother something to look forward to and make everyday unique in some sort
It will also be good for his morale and physical fitness, which further increases one’s confidence.
Honestly, I think it might be best to let go of the offer. Mental health is really important, and there are always future opportunities. Last year, I found myself in the same position and took the offer (IT help desk role). It really took a toll on my mental health. I would always have bad dreams about work and anxiety about my performance. After a month, I cried on my way to work and realized I should quit and look for something else. Now, I’m currently in school focusing on a different path and am way happier than I was at that last job.
Take job, use health benefits to go see therapist.
He needs to take the job, getting some experience which will possibly help get a less mundane job in the future. I assume the job offers health insurance as a benefit, which will make it easier to seek therapy and possibly medication if they decide that’s best for him. If the job is a disaster and ruins his life or whatever, he can always quit (though he should really try not to). The long commute sucks but he can always keep an eye out for something closer or remote. Nobody will care or ask about his GPA ever again once he has work experience.
Your brother needs to get his mental health addressed: therapy, medication, exercise, etc.). After that, every thing else will fall into place.
No job is worth feeling depressed and suicidal over. He needs to leave asap.
Get the job earn money buy a pc and play games and enjoy food, life is not all flowers for any one.
would you rather have a rich and dead brother or a happy but poor brother?
money can’t buy happiness
depression can be a very scary thing.
please do something about his depression before it’s too late.
He needs professional help. Get him to a doctor / psychiatrist / psychologist immediately. When someone says they are suicidal take them seriously.
I’m sorry but the solution is your brother needs to grow up and suck it up. It’s harsh but it’s real. He can throw away the amazing opportunity to instantly jump onto the top 1-5% of earners worldwide, or he can suck it up and do what everyone else has always done and take his job and learn how to deal
Depression is not hating your job/not wanting to work. I went through similar “depression” while being in college, you can either let it take you over or you can make a decision to take life for what it really is.
Maybe your family situation would allow him to fuck off and coast and not take the job. Guess what that won’t do tho? Cure his depression. If he is actually clinically depressed, no amount of taking it easy or therapy is going to get rid of it. He will have to learn how to live with it and continue to build himself, or let it take over and destroy his life.
People actually would and do kill other people for a 90k income. Maybe he truly has a chemical imbalance in his brain, but I bet he is just coming to the realization of what adulthood means, it means working a job for 40 hours a week.