#LPT #desexualize #hobbies #addiction #mentalhealth #selfimprovement
Addressing the Problem:
I became addicted to porn, and I find myself thinking about fantasies many times. I want to undo the destruction I did to my brain. I quit porn, but my hobbies contain sexualized elements like TV, YouTube, anime, games, movies, etc., making it difficult to maintain that state. I get a sudden impulse, and I am letting it win.
Solutions to Desexualize Your Brain:
If you’re struggling to desexualize your brain while partaking in hobbies with sexualized elements, consider implementing the following practical solutions:
1. Limit Exposure:
Reduce the amount of time you spend engaging with content that triggers sexual thoughts. Set boundaries and create a schedule to limit your exposure to TV, YouTube, anime, games, and movies.
2. Diversify Your Hobbies:
Explore new hobbies that do not contain sexualized elements to distract your mind and redirect your focus. Consider activities like hiking, painting, cooking, or reading.
3. Seek Support:
Reach out to a therapist or join support groups to receive guidance and tools to overcome addiction and desexualize your brain. Surround yourself with a supportive community that understands your struggles.
4. Practice Mindfulness:
Engage in mindfulness meditation and deep breathing exercises to become more present and aware of your thoughts. Practice self-awareness to identify triggers and redirect your focus in a positive direction.
Conclusion:
Desexualizing your brain while most of your hobbies contain sexualized elements may seem challenging, but with dedication and perseverance, it is achievable. Implementing the solutions mentioned above can help you break free from addiction and regain control over your thoughts and behaviors.
By taking proactive steps to desexualize your brain, you can create a healthier mindset and cultivate a fulfilling life free from destructive impulses. Stay strong and committed to your journey of self-improvement and mental well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and there is support available to help you overcome obstacles and thrive. 🌟
Whatever you do, don’t get too deep into the whole nofap bubble. Bunch of losers with questionable views who will not make you a better person. The best advice is to go do something tangible in your physical environment when you don’t want to think about sth like that anymore. Tasks, chores, physical world hobbies, etc.
Generally, it is not “destruction to your brain”. Even if it’s an addiction, it doesn’t damage your substance and you can get over it. If it’s just arousal, then that’s absolutely normal and not shameful like the prude evangelists and wacky carnivore nofappers propagate to lure in lost ppl
Honestly: get some hobbies where you do real things with real people, you’ll soon realise there’s more interesting things than animated pixels. Also hanging out with female friends and just treating them like people worthy of respect helps a lot.
Recognize also there is such a thing as healthy sexuality. Just start from a clean slate, surround yourself with people who you receive joy from without the desire for sex dictating your want to be with them, and if you’re a genuine and sincere person: things fall into place.
You’re making it a lot more difficult for yourself. If you’re already addicted to that kind of imagery then those neuro-pathways are going to be triggered every time you see something in a show or game that’s explicit.
It’s not very daunting to limit your media consumption so as to remove that stuff. I’d say to fast-forward through inappropriate content, but if you’re already struggling with addiction then you’re not going to have the willpower to do that. So just cut it out. There’s plenty of anime that are pretty PG. And if you can do it for anime, you can do it for anything.
What’s even better is to find new hobbies to take up some of that time. Find a nearby park and go on a walk when the weather is nice. Find a craft you’ve always wanted to take up and start watching a tutorial for it. Find a topic you’d like to learn about and pick up some audio books to listen to while you clean or walk on an elliptical
The most helpful thing you can do? Therapy. Strong addictions like that don’t just happen. It’s usually an internal response to some kind of emotional discomfort
Good distractions are essential for breaking bad habits
If you are interested, the Buddha provides a systematic way to doing just that in the Vitakkasanthana Sutta, here it is paraphrased:
“When these unwholesome thoughts arise you should first apply your attention to something wholesome, just as a skilled carpenter might knock out and replace an old peg with a new one, you replace the unwholesome thought with a wholesome one.
If that does not subside them, you should examine the danger in them thus:
‘These thoughts are unwholesome, reprehensible, and result in affliction.’
Just as a person would be horrified if a deadly snake were being wrapped around their neck, so too, you should throw off these thoughts.
If that does not subside them, you should next try to ignore them, just as a man would shut his eyes or look away, you should forget them.
If that does not subside them, you should examine the origin of the thoughts thus:
‘What is the cause? What is the cause of the cause? … (Etc.)’
Just as a man walking fast might think:
‘why am I walking fast, what if I walked slowly?’
And then walking slowly, he thinks:
‘… what if I stand still? … what if I sit down? … what if I lie still?’ And so he would gradually substitute each posture until his body is still, so too you can gradually still your mind.
Finally, you can try to crush mind with mind, with teeth clenched and tongue pressed against the roof of your mouth, you should beat down, constrain and crush mind with mind. Just as a strong man might seize a weaker man and contrain him, so too you can constrain your mind, to abandon unwholesome thoughts and become steadied internally, composed, unified, and concentrated.
You would then be called a master of the courses of thought, and think whatever you wish, and not think anything you do not wish to think.”
Try and read books that don’t include those themes! Mystery and sci-fi books can be great for this
I’ve been there and It’s definitely hard. (Married now so it’s a slightly different situation now) and others give the great advice of making friends and see them in person and try to set up boundaries to minimize exposure to more overtly sexualized parts of your hobbies.
To add to that: Ask yourself questions as to what triggers it at a root cause. Limiting exposure can go a long way but its just a symptom. It’s it loneliness and isolation? Is it driven by curiosity? Then try to take steps to address those root issues.
But also (and I needed to hear this) give yourself grace. It’s hard and you will slip up occasionally don’t dwell in it and don’t beat yourself up or feel guilty about it, that’s just another way you are giving it headspace. Looking back I wish I did more (after all struggling to perform on your honeymoon is embarrassing) but I am also thankful for everything that I did do. Your future self will thank you for any steps you take right now, but it’s also very hard. It’s like trying to screw in a screw when all you have is a pair of pliers, not impossible but also significantly harder than if you had the right set of tools. Absolutely do what you can now, but you won’t have the right tool until you are in a relationship.
>tv, YouTube, anime, games, movies
I wouldn’t really call those hobbies.
Find not non-sexy version of those things
Damn all your hobbies are looking at a screen? Sounds like you don’t really have hobbies
Be present with the feels and question them when they appear. Be mindful. Its what you do with your feelings that defines them.
dont watch anime with fanservice in it. I always just stop anytime i see it. Thats gonna be a big part and then there isnt really anything to do, no pill to take or trick. You need to work on yourself to think different until its automatic
Start Yoga. The real kind, not just stretching, but a yogic lifestyle. Find peers that do this. There will be ups and downs but I bet you, do this for 40 days and there will be tangible change in your experience of life.
You are a body and one of your body’s core functions is sex, along with eating, defecting, breathing and more. There is a healthy amount of thinking about sex just like there’s a healthy amount of thinking about food.
Allow yourself some freedom to think about sex without judgment.
You should be concerned only if those thoughts are translating into harmful action. Things like objectifying people, putting off work/community to think about sex, or being violent to yourself/others.
In that case, don’t try to desexualize your brain. Try to desexualize your actions.
get outside and do a “real hobby”. Older generations love to say get a real hobby but what I mean (and what they should mean) is that you need a hobby where you sit calmly and work for hours and concentrate. It makes your mind free and opens up your horizont because your hobby is so easy. Cleaning your bicycle or car? Well its so easy that your brain is relaxing and now can become creative after a while.
I would suggest doing this additionally to what people suggested: Get outside and meet people, see the nature and do some sports.
People act like we are machines, but we are very close to our biochemical reactions and balances in our body and brain. These are the things that can fix it and improve your mental and physical health
So you want change without changing?
Therapy, and look into fresh new interests, for time time being maybe don’t consume the type of media you currently do, just put it aside for a while, you can revisit them back later
Try to find a hobby where you create something rather than just consume media made by other people.
You need actual hobbies that aren’t on a screen. You need hobbies that help you socialize and connect with real people. Porn addictions can happen when you’re trying to dissociate from real life bc real life isn’t as great or trying to avoid certain negative feelings. Make your actual life fulfilling and you’ll naturally spend less time focusing on porn. It’s likely the main source of “pleasure” for you rn. Learn to find pleasure and joy and connection outside of a screen
Literally just go outside, touch grass, walk, talk to people, find new hobbies. Live bro.
Screen time is the enemy of most humans
This is a very simple tip, you have too much free time at home, since all the stuff you mentioned is related to entertainment.
The solution is to go outside more and make something with most of your day so that you minimize time spent thinking on sexual stuff.
Being sexual isn’t bad tho keep that in mind
Make alternative accounts your algorithm is all horn dog.
Use your main- fecky horndog algorithm for whatever.
Make alternative accounts and keep it clean put safe search on for a bit if ya want.
Edit: ignore the assholes saying touch grass. That shit can be stressful if all youre thinking about is sex.
Take small amounts of time outside but also make diff accounts with safe search find some hobbies you were gonna look in to on main and do it on safe sexless account
Honestly, change your hobbies away from non reality based visual depiction
Those aren’t hobbies, they’re just media you’re consuming. A hobby is something you DO.
Find a hobby. Learn to draw or write, cook, bake, hike, volunteer at an animal shelter. Learn to code, to paint, to something, anything. Ideally it would involve real people and going outside your house.
There was a post a while ago where a guy said he hated doing stuff outside. Wanted to change.
When asked about his hobbies, it was literally pc gaming, anime, porn, and ordering door dash once a day with an order large enough to feed him for 2 or 3.
When I suggested, “Go outside. Take a walk. Bring earbuds and listen to music or a podcast. Look up a YouTube video on a food you like, actually make it instead of buying it. Try a hobby that doesn’t include sitting down in front of a computer. Read a book on the subject of a game you like (Sci fi, red dead westerns, fantasy).
In the end he rejected every suggestion. Why? He was asking for ways to be more instantly gratified. Cooking? Takes time. A walk? Too far to go somewhere nice. A new hobby? Would rather update his GPU.
There’s no simple answer to weaning yourself off of sexually related subjects. In the end, it’s an interest of yours. Some people make their entire livelihoods off sexuality.
I’m honestly in much the same way as far as sexualization goes, i do consume a lot of media on these subjects. You just need to be able to switch it off when appropriate.
I concur with other sentiments though. Meet people. Talk to and socialize with people. Learn to treat people as humans with thoughts and feelings like yours, and not just a secual representation of a fantasy.
All by design. You have to unplug from certain media entirely to avoid it at this day and age.
Those aren’t hobbies, man.
You kids are fucked in the head.
Interact with real people.
Take a woodworking course at your local community centre.
Consume content that is less sexualized…? I play games and most of the games I play are not remotely sexual. I’ve been enjoying Dave the Diver. You catch fish and run a sushi bar.