#RelationshipAdvice and #DatingQuestion: Should I Feel Bad for Not Wanting to Have Sex with My Date?
Understanding Your Feelings
As a 27-year-old man, it’s natural to have different feelings and desires when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s important to prioritize your own comfort and boundaries in any situation.
Discussing Consent
Consent is Key
Before engaging in any sexual activity, both partners should give enthusiastic and ongoing consent.
Communicating with Your Date
Honesty is the Best Policy
It’s crucial to have an conversation with your date about your feelings and desires, ensuring open communication.
Respecting Boundaries
Everyone is Different
Remember that everyone has unique boundaries and preferences when it comes to physical intimacy.
By approaching the situation with honesty and respect, you can navigate these dynamics with sensitivity and understanding. Remember, it’s always okay to prioritize your own comfort feeling.
Of course it’s not wrong that you wanted to stop. You can and should always stop sex if you don’t want to be having sex
She’s also allowed to have feelings about the ordeal, as it’s understandable that it made her feel a certain way, but there is nothing wrong with you stopping sex.
She stopped when you asked, right?
She was undressed when you asked to stop. She thinks you saw her body and noped out.
I think both parties acted accordingly. You wanted to stop, she did. She felt hurt about it, which most of us would. She probably thought you were messing with her head. If she totally moved in from you, you could understand that. It wouldn’t be nice, but understandable
She probably thinks you got an eyeful of something you deemed to be unattractive about her body and lost the desire to go on afterwards because of it. Sex is a very vulnerable and intimate act for a lot of people and it’s not uncommon for situations like this to lead to hurt feelings regardless of the ‘why’.
She’s not pressuring you into meeting up with her again though, nor do you have to justify your reasons for stopping or not wanting to see her (though you could’ve worded things a bit better during the text convo), but it sounds like you’re both reacting to the situation in a way that makes it seem like there’s been a miscommunication of some sort.
You said no, she stopped.
She later said “hey, when we were doing xyz earlier and you said stop, it made me feel uncomfortable because of zyx.”
You then went “sorry it wasn’t you it was me.”
Which she responded to with “well why didn’t you say what was really going on if that was the case?”
And now you are going “she’s not respecting my consent anymore.” Because you are perceiving it as an attack for saying no in the same way she thinks you are trying to dodge the topic whilst being dishonest about it.
It’s understandable that you feel like she’s not getting it, but your consent was and still is being respected. She’s not doing anything other than trying to get an answer that doesn’t make it feel like she did something wrong or is unattractive. You can either have a proper conversation about it to clear up the confusion or tell her you think it’s best to part ways and move on. You can’t keep acting like she’s a villain in the story you’ve made up in your head based upon your assumptions about her intentions.
I stopped before we started once. Went on a few dates and I just wasn’t super into her. So I put the brakes on things. Didn’t want to have sex with someone I wasn’t super into.
Both her and her friend called me up to call me an asshole. Fuck em.
My experience is that women don’t take very well being rebuffed, stop mid sex or when the guys doesn’t cum.
I’ve had reactions ranging from did I do something wrong to are you fucking someone else with I know I took some weight but come on.
You hurt her feelings, and it’s understandable that’s she’s insecure, but you shouldn’t do something you feel uncomfortable doing. Props for being open and honest
NTA generally, but you risk ending up dating an Eva AI sexting bot avatar
You are addicted to porn, mate
I think both feelings are valid.
It’s good that you stopped when you weren’t feeling it and that you were able to say so. But it is also valid that she felt disappointed and hurt. Nobody’s feelings need to trump then other’s and you are both valid to feel how you felt.
Lesson learned, though. Fantasies sometimes sound better than the reality of it
You were totally within your rights to stop, just like she has every right to be annoyed.
Neither of you are wrong.
You didn’t do anything wrong, but boy that’s a major mindfuck to inflict on a woman.
Broadly speaking, women don’t like being rejected when they’re offering up free sex. Even more so when it’s mid-coitus.
You in theory could not have predicted your emotions that resulted in this happening, but you really should try to do better in the future, because mid-sex rejection is pretty rough for anyone.
dude, you’re actions hurt someone. they have the right to feel hurt. She didnt guilt trip you or manipulate you, she just told you how you made her feel and now you feel bad for it. Sit in your discomfort, dont try to pass it off to her.
It’s not wrong, but don’t apologize if the shoe was on the other foot she wouldnt
Nothing wrong with that but also nothing wrong with her wanting to leave.
Isn’t consent a two way street?
I think anyone would be upset about stopping midway through sex. That’s a sucky experience that will naturally hurt anyone. You’ll wonder if it was really you, and the vague “turns out I don’t like hookups” will only make that feeling worse.
You saying your consent was violated is an insult though. Your consent wasn’t violated by her being upset or expressing her feelings after the fact. Something like her continuing to go, belittling you and pressuring you in the moment, or insisting you continue in the moment would be violating your consent.
No. Nothing wrong with it. And if anyone says any different, it’s a double standard. Her response was fueled by her ego. If she was emotionally mature, she would be able to empathize and understand.
Meh whatever. You have the right to not have sex with her, she has the right to feel insecure about it.
You both move on and forget it happened.
You did nothing wrong. Unfortunately society paints guys as these horn dogs who just want sex so whenever guys do skmething off, girls assume that they or their attractiveness are the Problem.
I also get your realization. Im M29, me and my friends talk about this where ONS we’ve had are fun but we end up realizing and asking iurselves what the point even was. Like it was nice while it lasted and we had fun but ONS are way more overrated then they seem.