“Is it Okay to Announce Pregnancy at a Friend’s Wedding? #Etiquette #PregnancyAnnouncement #FriendshipDilemma
The Situation:
A 24-year-old woman, let’s call her Laura (23F), recently found out she is pregnant with her first child. At her best friend’s wedding, she decided to make an announcement similar to how her friend had made an announcement at her own wedding in the past.
The Dilemma:
After sharing her news, Laura’s best friend seemed upset, claiming that she had chosen her special day to overshadow her celebration. This has left Laura questioning her decision and her place in their friendship.
Background:
Laura and her best friend are very close, having shared many significant life moments together. They both married each other’s siblings, making their bond even stronger. Despite this history, the reaction to Laura’s pregnancy announcement at the wedding has caused a rift in their relationship.
Community Divided:
Friends and family are split on whether Laura was in the wrong for making the announcement at her friend’s wedding. Some see it as a sweet continuation of sharing milestones, while others feel the timing was inappropriate.
Conversation Starter:
What do you think? Is it acceptable to announce personal news at someone else’s wedding, especially when the news is already circulating among guests? How would you navigate a situation like this while considering the history and dynamics of the relationship?
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Ahh, weddings. The gifts that keep on giving! If she did similar, she set the precedent, so no, NTA. Apologise for upsetting her, but if she wants to drag it out into a massive thing then it’s on her.
NTA because she announced her engagement at your wedding. (I assume neither of you asked the other’s permission for your announcements.) Otherwise it definitely would have been Y T A, but she set a precedent that she thought this was all cool.
ESH. It’s understandable that you thought you were continuing a tradition, but the way that you did it was perhaps inappropriate. There is a big difference between confirming what the people around you are guessing, and doing it during a speech for all to hear.
Your heart was in the right place, and Laura should have seen that you were following her lead, but she didn’t. She may also feel betrayed that you didn’t tell her, your best friend, before you told everyone else.
Chalk it up to a misread on all sides. You can get past this if you are sensitive to her feelings, and the two of you clear the air.
AI prompt for sure.
Two sets of siblings getting married to one another and she “announced” her engagement at your wedding? As in everyone at both weddings were each other’s family but they didn’t know they were engaged?
Stop. Please.
NTa cos she did it first AND your case was more assumptions from others. That’s your sticking point (that SHE did it). In most cases these are never okay, even though my family has some exceptions. But she’s especially an AH for doing it and then getting upset at it happening to her.
INFO: when she announced her engagement at your wedding, was it like a full on, microphone, during a toast kind of an announcement? Or more of “some people noticed her ring and she told them she was engaged?” Announcement?
if people were whispering and you just told them, “yep,I’m pregnant!” That wouldn’t have bothered me at all….but during the toast does seem a bit inappropriate. But if she did hers during a toast then I could see why you thought it was ok.
You didn’t do anything maliciously so your NTA.
She set the tone that personal announcements at weddings were fine when she took the opportunity to announce her engagement at your wedding.
I would send her a message saying something like:
> I’m sorry that my pregnancy announcement caused you to think I was trying to steal the spotlight at your wedding. I thought it was ok since you shared your engagement announcement at my wedding. Again, I apologize if my actions made you upset, that wasn’t my intention at all. I hope we can get on the same page about this. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.
She might still think it’s a tit for tat thing (revenge since she did it at your wedding), but that’s not your problem. You can’t control her perception, all you can do is apologize and move on.
Laura gets to make announcements but not you.
Sounds like a Laura I used to know years ago, it was
always all about her. LOL NTA
Usually I’d say you are but she set the precedent, so NTA, also don’t apologize if she starts getting upset then tell her that first she needs to apologize for announcing her engagement at yours, show her and the friends that said it’s inappropriate this post and most of the comments agree with you.
NTA your SIL is a hypocrite. point that out and move on.
Lol NTA. I would NOT have been cool with her stunt at the wedding so I think the fact that you say you were is great. However, it’s pretty clear that she did it for attention…. otherwise she wouldn’t be so bothered by your announcement.
She isn’t your friend. You need to know that.
This is what everyone whose friend or sibling proposes at their wedding is told they should do. This wasn’t even out of spite and ordinarily I’d be iffy about it but given this history, NTA.
Why was she ok with announcing her engagement at your wedding but you can’t announce your pregnancy at hers?
I can understand why you thought the announcement would have been ok, but I would still say YTA. Announcing an engagement fits the wedding theme and is not overshadowing a wedding. Announcing expecting a child, which is also the first grandchild, definitely overshadows the wedding.
NTA. I guess I was skimming at first and totally missed the part about where she announced her engagement at your wedding, but that is crazy that she’s mad at you for doing something that you had no ill intentions when she did the exact same thing to you🤦🏻♀️ sounds like she has main character syndrome and you are just learning about it, I’m sorry this is gonna be real tricky since you guys are married to family on both sides😖
ESH. How on earth do either of you think making any kind of announcement without prior permission at someone else’s wedding is okay?
ESH I do think it was a strange decision to announce your pregnancy during a toast to the newlyweds, you say you didn’t think anything of it, but it sounds like you did it intentionally as retaliation for her announcement at your wedding.
ESH. She shouldn’t have announced at your wedding and you shouldn’t have announced at hers.
NTA I would have brought up ‘but you literally announced your engagement at my wedding so I thought it would be okay?’
ESH. I mean, you just don’t do you? You don’t announce huge news at someone else’s big event. I get why you thought it would be ok, especially as Laura had basically done the same at your wedding, but although you were fine with it, that’s quite unusual.
It’s basically wedding etiquette, don’t wear white unless your the bride, don’t start a screaming row with anyone, don’t make a big life changing announcement that overshadows the married couple. Man, it’s not hard.
NTA
Laura and your brother have no ground to shit on you for your pregnancy announcement. It’s okay for them to upstage your wedding with their engagement, but the announcement of your pregnancy which could’ve been blown wide open by someone in the wedding party because they noticed you weren’t drinking is not allowed? Are you sure she’s your best friend? Because it looks like one’s a glorified doormat for the other’s whims.
I’m not sure what stance your parents are taking, but I’d send this to Laura and your brother:
“Hey Laura and bro, I’ve thought this over, and I’d like to apologize for upstaging your wedding. It felt like a perfect scenario to announce since all of us were family, and I thought you’d be happy. Also I did it this way so that people wouldn’t blurt out the truth and ruin it further. However, it also gave me time to go over my own actions, considering I never said anything when you two upstaged my own wedding with your own engagement, and I was happy for you. It made me feel less, that my own feelings didn’t matter in comparison to yours. So I hate to say this, but I’m not gonna be including you in my baby’s life until you apologize. I realize my feelings also matter, and this is like a slap to my face.”
Oh, and check with your husband on his opinion before you send it to his sister.
You’re both assholes.
You are not Laura. Laura is not you. Just because you were OK with something does not mean she is. Should she have asked you first? Yes. Should you have asked her first? Yes. Did either of you? No. Now she’s mad, and you refuse to see why because ‘She made an announcement too’, which honestly does not matter. Next time, ask. And sit down with her, explain how you felt, apologize, and tell her that BOTH of you need to ask in the future if you’re going to share life events at the others party/celebrations.
Esh. You should always ask.
YTA – you took the spotlight. No, it’s not acceptable because she did the same to you.
When will people quit announcing your personal moments at someone else’s big event. This is never ok. Its tacky….its tacky to even ask someone if it’s ok.