#GrievingAtWork #CompassionInWorkplace #HandlingPersonalCrisisAtWork #SupportiveWorkEnvironment
Yesterday, I received devastating news that my family member had passed away. The shock and grief were overwhelming, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Despite my best efforts to stay composed, I had a panic attack at my desk and had to step outside to catch my breath. That’s when my boss came out to check on me and offer some support.
Feeling Unsupported and Misunderstood
I mustered the courage to ask my boss if I could leave work early to be with my family during this difficult time. She hesitated but finally agreed, asking if I could stay until 3:00 pm instead of my usual 4:00 pm. Grateful for her understanding, I stayed until the agreed time before leaving to be with my grieving loved ones.
The Unexpected Consequence
However, to my shock and dismay, I was later written up for leaving an hour early on a day when my world had shattered. Not only was I reprimanded for a decision made under extreme emotional distress, but I was also told that missing even the funeral was not an option.
Finding Support and Solutions
Dealing with personal crises at work can be incredibly challenging, but it’s important to know your rights and seek support when needed. Here are some practical solutions for handling such situations:
1. Know Your Rights
- Be aware of your company’s policies regarding bereavement leave, compassionate leave, and personal emergencies. You have the right to take time off to deal with a family member’s death.
2. Communicate Clearly
- Communicate openly and honestly with your employer about your situation. Explain the circumstances surrounding your need to leave early and seek their understanding and support.
3. Seek Employee Assistance Programs
- Many companies offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that provide counseling, support, and resources for employees dealing with personal crises. Take advantage of these services if available.
Conclusion
It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and emotional health during times of personal crisis, even in a professional setting. While facing challenges like being written up for leaving early due to a death in the family can be overwhelming, remember that your mental and emotional well-being should always come first.
Seek support, know your rights, and communicate effectively to navigate these difficult situations with grace and resilience. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this challenging time.
time to quit…
Let them write you up. Let them fire you. GO TO THE FUNERAL. Make a point to get a copy of the obit, and death certificate so you have ammo to claim unemployment if they try to fight it.
Don’t miss out on the funeral just for a shitty employer.
Don’t know where you are in the world, but this sounds… illegal (or at least, it would be here). You were having a medical emergency (panic attack); punishing you for being unwell is illegal in any civilised jurisdiction.
I’m sorry for your loss and I’m sorry you’ve got that boss.
go to the funeral. your job and boss can deal with it.
Please go to the funeral! You will regret not going to the funeral much more than you’ll regret missing a day of work – even if they fire you for it!
i’m sorry for your and your family’s loss. whatever you do, do not miss the funeral. tell your boss you will be attending, and will use any time available (bereavement or vacation).
Quit
A funeral only happens for someone once. There are 39 more hours in the week.
My sister was told her step son had been found dead and she tried to call into work that morning. She is a teacher and they said that she would have to come in because they couldn’t get any subs. She spent the whole day crying in front of her kindergarteners and a year later still regrets going in that day. Do what you need to take care of yourself. In the mean time try to find a job that cares more about you as a human.
Don’t sign it and tell your boss to go F herself for being insensitive. Just go to the funeral and let your boss deal with it.
Tell me you want me to quit without telling me you want me to quit.
Had an employer tell me I couldn’t have time off for my father’s funeral, and I walked out on the spot. To this day, it’s been the best move I have EVER made for my mental health. Years later I still have nightmares about being forced to go back to work at that place
Fuck them. You’d be well within your rights to quit and then report their ass for unfair labor practices.
It is just a fucking job 😂 screw them
Go to the funeral.
You can always find another job but you’ll never get that last chance for closure again.
Your manager is power tripping and you should definitely keep track going forward of your interactions in case they decide to retaliate.
Was it a close family member? Just saying because that does seem kind of extreme but I know employers that don’t care if say, your aunt died or something. Even though she was important to you, they may not consider her to be immediate family.
With that said, I think this is one of those situations where you quit. It’s one thing to warn someone about that not being a good reason to go home early but writing someone up over a provable death in the family just goes to show that employer doesn’t actually care about their employees.
Cannot stand these bosses that try to push people into staying at work when they’ve just had some bad news, or to not go to funerals. Have they gone mad?
I missed a funeral of a close dad’s friend because my job wouldn’t let me miss half a day for it (I was in training for a new position there). It was the first day of training of things I knew already. The job dropped me like a bag of potatoes later with a mass layoff. Even if I were still working there, I wish I would’ve just called in and missed the training and went to the funeral.
Include this story in a review of the company. It’s such an inhuman and monstrous response to another hurt person. They don’t see their employees as people.
Go to the funeral. Your boss will still be alive to treat someone else like shit. This is absolutely cruel and nasty on their part.
FUCK THEM. I honestly wouldn’t go back. Adios. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
I took a week off of work unpaid, to go drive down to my grieving BFF after the death of her fiancee. THAT should be the standard.
*agree with everything they say*
**dont do any of it**
fuck them
go to the funeral ffts
I’m a manager, I don’t care if there’s zero coverage whatsoever at work, if something like this comes up while you’re at work, LEAVE. You’re unwell, you’ve lost a family member and you’re having a panic attack? Get to your family no questions asked. Family ALWAYS comes first before anything work related. The stories I read in this sub are bonkers, I’d never dream of treating people like this.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope you find another job quickly where you’re treated as a human being.
Let the bastards fire you. And when they fight unemployment, hit the fuckers where it hurts.
If you’re still there for the foreseeable future, remember your manager will unfortunately have a loss to grieve. Respond how you prefer, but I’d dunk on them, “Sucks, doesn’t it?!”
My grandfather died about about a month ago while I was at work. After failing to hold the tears back at my desk, I went to my boss and explained the situation. He said, “Go spend time with your family, I’m so sorry for your loss. Please take as much time as you need, and I will take care of the bereavement paperwork.”
I mean, seriously… how “productive” could you possibly be for that last hour of your day OP? She should have told you to go home then and there, not coerce you into staying at work. Forget your boss, go to the funeral, be with your loved ones, and get the closure you deserve.
Well depending on your state, that’s illegal.
> Is bereavement leave mandatory in California? Yes. As of January 1, 2023, **California law requires private employers with at least five or more employees to provide up to five days of bereavement leave**.
You can always find a new job. You’re only going to a family member’s funeral once.
If you are in the US, remind your employer of the FMLA. I would also report them for violating the FMLA by demanding you stay and I would report them if they do it again. Then I would find another employer.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla
This reminds me of when they held an unscheduled absence against me the day after my dad died suddenly at 59. I had not had an absence in 2 years. Changed my whole commitment.
What a disgusting company
Write them up for writing you up! Fokem!
Sorry but your manager is fked in the head. Good thing the owner is with you on this one. Don’t even think about missing the funeral for work. Sorry for your loss.
Literally what the fuck kind of work is so important, so essential that you couldn’t leave a few hours early for a death in the family. Were you actively performing open heart surgery or something????
I’d write up my boss and send them 1 written warning
In comparison, I got news my mum was on palliative care. This was after six or seven false alarms where I had bolted out of work.
My managers reaction? Go. Just go. I worked from home for the three-four weeks it took her to pass and I had a week off after. Then the day of the funeral. No questions asked.
That’s supportive management. Your boss? Shams on them. And go to that damn funeral.
Check into bereavement leave, that is a thing at least in the U.S.
Oh my god. When I was a manager, the only question I had in situations like that was, “can we do anything for you?”
take the write up document and set it on fire in front of the boss.
Why would you work for such a POS?
That is really shitty. Where I work, we consider this to be a “moment that matters” to an employee. How they are treated by their employer at a time of grief and trauma will feel amplified to the employee, whether positive or negative. So why not take the opportunity and respond positively to a person who is clearly grieving the passing of someone close?
Hopefully at some point soon you’ll find yourself an employer that has these kinds of values, who would choose to make life easier for you when life kicks you in the nutsack (or lady nuts), rather than make a bad situation feel worse with their shitty response to your circumstances.
I’m very sorry for your loss, it sounds like it was shocking and unexpected. Virtual hugs from a virtual stranger.
I’m sorry for your loss. That’s a horrible manager.
Go to the funeral. Don’t even think twice about it. Best of luck to you and very sorry for your loss.
Here, let me up your write-up with “I quit.” Now kindly fuck-off.
CAN YOU TRY AND STAY? WHAT THE FUCK NO I CSNT FUCKING TRY AND STAY YOU EMPATHYLESS CAPITALIST WHORE