Is speaking my great grandmother’s native language in public attention seeking? How can I tell if I’m overreacting or not? #BoyfriendIssues #CulturalHeritage #LanguageStruggles
Have you ever felt judged for speaking your native language in public? I recently had a conversation with my great grandmother in her native language, and my boyfriend accused me of seeking attention. But how can I determine if I’m overreacting or not? Let’s dive into this issue together and explore some ways to navigate cultural differences and communication struggles in relationships.
##Understanding Cultural Differences
Seeking Attention or Expressing Heritage?
– Is speaking a native language in public really attention seeking, or is it a way to honor our roots?
– How can we educate others about the importance of preserving our cultural heritage through language?
##Communication in Relationships
Open Communication is Key
– How can we have a constructive conversation with our partner about cultural differences and boundaries?
– What are some strategies for addressing misunderstandings and finding common ground in a relationship?
##Self-Reflection and Validation
Trust Your Instincts
– How can we trust our own feelings and reactions without doubting ourselves in situations like this?
– What are some methods for self-validation and self-assurance when faced with criticism from others?
Remember, your cultural heritage and identity are important, and it’s essential to feel validated and respected in your relationship. Trust your instincts and have honest conversations with your partner to navigate through these challenging situations successfully. #SelfLove #RelationshipAdvice
If he is too narrow minded to understand language differences I’d run far away.
Overreacting isn’t a thing. You’re reacting and your feelings are real and valid.
>it’s so attention seeking
I really don’t understand how speaking to someone in the language they understand is attention seeking.
This is absolutely a him issue. Really weird.
>he thinks they’re too revealing
You’re an adult and he’s not your parent so feel free to tell him to do one.
>when I’m with male friends and he thinks I’m trying to make him jealous.
So he’s an insecure and controlling as well. Sounds like a real winner.
>he has no reason not to trust me
He’s controlling. He’s displaying very toxic behaviours. This isn’t something you’ve done wrong. You’ve done *absolutely nothing* wrong. But you need to be careful, because this could be the start of an abusive relationship.
Is he okay? What a bizarre thing to say and get annoyed about. All I can think is he was worried that you were shit talking him in a language he couldn’t understand, but that’s a huge reach, and is obviously insane behaviour. Does he usually get annoyed about weird things like this? Sounds like way too much drama and immaturity.
When I read the headline I assumed you two were speaking in another language in front of him which can be considered rude if everyone has a common shared language. A phone call with another person by its very nature doesn’t include him so it doesn’t matter what language you are speaking since you are not speaking to him.
Your GG is old. There’s no way to know how much time you have with her. Don’t include people in your life who will ridicule you for supporting her needs, even if that involves an occasional phone call in another language.
Your boyfriend sounds immature and with some complex regarding you two, either he thinks deep down you are out of his league or you can always find something better. Or he could just look to control you because reasons none of them good.
Confront him head on enough playing nice he is pushing quite a bit from you wrote, no reason to not draw some boundaries and air out what you don’t like about it.
You did nothing wrong. Your boyfriend sounds immature.
He is the one overreacting by being the language police.
He is narrow-minded or a racist.
Eather way, dump him.
He’s like a dress from 8th grade: cute, but you’ve outgrown it. You’re more mature now and you want something better.
This isn’t about you seeking attention, it’s about him being insecure and having low self esteem. He feels the need to bring you down to his level. I wouldn’t put up with this.
I promise you there is someone out there who will celebrate the things that make you *you* and who will not try to shame you or diminish your light.
He’s insecure, embarrassed for whichever reason and he’s projecting on you. This goes for both, the language you speak and the way you dress. There’s nothing wrong with speaking Russian in public (though you might get a few weird looks because of the war) and i’m pretty sure you dress just fine. The fact that he ‘s uncomfortable in your company is his problem, don’t let him get to you. You can ask him why he’s so uncomfortable when clearly no one else is and that in future you don’t want him to blame you for his low self esteem and confidence issues.
Doesn’t sound like you have any interest in leaving and making a better life, but oh wow I would not tolerate that man for five minutes
It isn’t about the phone call.
It’s about him being an insecure, little prick in general. I would leave him. I cannot stand insecure people. & I don’t trust them to be mentally stable.
Imagine living in Europe and getting upset about hearing a foreign language spoken.
Imagine being multi-lingual and getting upset about hearing a foreign language spoken.
You did nothing wrong. He’s not worth your time.
So:
Boyfie is a xenophobic/racist twat
Dump
Your boyfriend suffers from inferiority, is insecure, and projecting. Ironically, if he knew a second language he would use it in public just to get attention. Criticizing your ‘revealing’ clothes means that he doesn’t trust you, because he deep inside he doesn’t trust himself to be good enough for you (for a good reason). Thinking everything you do is against his is another sign of insecurity, because he assumes that everything do is somehow all about him. Read up on psychology of insecure people, and the more you learn the faster you will decide to break up with him. (Pay attention to the relationship development arc: next comes putting you down to make himself look higher; manipulation; gaslighting; and ultimate misery)
Danish myself, and I think his behaviour is pretty weird. It’s not attention seeking speaking another language in public, though it will attract curiosity naturally, but a lot if people speak foreign languages in Denmark in this day and age, so it’s not really that much of a problem. 🤷♀️ he’s overreacting and needs to deal with why he’s so insecure about it.
My husband is Dutch. My father was German, my mother was American. Growing up and raising my children, we spoke 3 languages at home and in public, whatever the language of the day was. It’s insane to think other languages do not exist or aren’t spoken out of the country of origin.
And not everyone who is multilingual is a brain trust…just sayin.
Tell him to shut up.
Your BF is an insecure jackass. Nothing here is wrong other than a poor taste of BF.
” Attention seeking ” by acting like the majority of Danes. 58% of Denmark speaks more than one foreign language.
This guy sounds incredibly insecure. If he’s accusing you of being attention seeking for such minor things then he doesn’t trust you and is trying to control your behaviour. I assume you are fairly attractive and he probably feels intimidated by every person that glances your way. You need to have a serious talk to him about this, and don’t let him gaslight you into thinking that you are the cause of this, because this is solely a “him” issue.
And I just wanna say you are awesome for being so open to helping your great-grandmother.
>It sounds bad but my family isn’t actually Russian.
Why does that sound bad? What am I missing?
As a danish guy myself, let me tell you this. Your boyfriend is an insecure cityboy who Is on the verge of being controlling. It is in no way attention seeking to speak a different language in public considering most Danes speak more than 1 or even 2 languages anyway. He is probably just insecure about not understanding Russian and feeling left out like the child he is.
This is definitely a him issue. He is upset that your attention is on someone else. He sounds immature