#FindingYourPath #PurposeInLife #SelfImprovement
Hey there! It sounds like you’re feeling a bit lost and unsure about what to do next in life. I totally get where you’re coming from, and I know it can be really overwhelming to think about finding your path when you feel like you’re starting from scratch. But the good news is, there are so many things you can do to start moving in a positive direction and finding your purpose.
First off, don’t worry too much about not having a degree or savings – that’s not the end-all, be-all of finding your path in life. There are plenty of successful people out there who didn’t follow the traditional path of going to college, and you can absolutely find success and happiness without a degree. It might take some creativity and resourcefulness, but it’s totally possible.
One thing to consider is exploring different career paths that don’t necessarily require a degree. There are plenty of trades and industries that offer on-the-job training or certification programs that can lead to stable, well-paying careers. Maybe you could look into apprenticing with a skilled tradesperson, or exploring options in fields like healthcare, IT, or construction.
You mentioned that you live in the middle of nowhere, and I know that can make it tough to find opportunities for personal and professional growth. But don’t let that hold you back! There are still ways to connect with people and learn new things, even in a smaller community. You could try reaching out to local community organizations, volunteering, or even taking online classes to expand your skills and knowledge.
It’s great that you went to therapy and are starting to work through some of these feelings. Finding a purpose in life can be a really important part of feeling fulfilled and happy, so it’s awesome that you’re taking steps to address it. Your therapist is right – finding your purpose or a path is key, and it’s totally okay if you’re not sure what that looks like yet. It takes time and self-discovery, and it’s okay to be in that process.
As for the pressure to travel and try all kinds of things in your 20s – I get that too. It can feel like everyone is off having these amazing experiences while you’re stuck in one place. But the reality is, not everyone has the means to travel or the freedom to drop everything and go on adventures. It’s okay to take a different path and find your own way to explore and experience life.
If you’re feeling passionate about music, that’s a great place to start! Even if you don’t feel like you’re very good at it right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t improve and find fulfillment in pursuing it. Maybe you could look into taking some music lessons, joining a community choir or band, or even just spending more time playing and practicing on your own. Music can be a powerful source of joy and purpose, so don’t underestimate its potential to bring meaning to your life.
Feeling like you don’t have a good work ethic is tough, but it’s something that can be developed over time. It’s all about finding ways to motivate and challenge yourself, and setting small, achievable goals to build up your discipline. For example, you could start by making a daily to-do list and committing to completing at least one task every day. It might be something as small as doing the dishes or going for a walk, but building up these small wins can help you start to feel more motivated and disciplined.
In terms of finding new interests, have you considered exploring different hobbies and activities? Sometimes, trying out new things can open up unexpected passions and opportunities. For example, you could look into joining a book club, taking up hiking or gardening, or learning a new craft or skill. You never know what might spark your interest and lead to a new sense of purpose.
Don’t be too hard on yourself for feeling unhappy and stuck. It’s totally normal to feel this way, especially when you’re in a period of transition and uncertainty. But it’s important to remember that you have the power to create positive change in your life, and that you’re capable of finding your own path to happiness and fulfillment.
Ultimately, finding your purpose and your path is a journey that takes time and self-exploration. It’s okay to feel uncertain and lost, and it’s okay to take small steps towards figuring it out. You’re not alone in this, and there are so many resources and people out there who can support you along the way. Keep seeking out new experiences, learning about yourself, and pursuing the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. You’ve got this! 🌟
A lot of people on this site hate what I am about to say but it worked for me. Join the military.
I was a lot like you when I was 20, I was a shit student with no discipline and failed out of college just because I got lazy. I always wanted to travel, and be in the military so I did it. Your income is pretty much 95% expendable so you can realistically save up 4 years of income. You get 4 years of job experience and you can choose whatever interests you. Join the Marine Corps Band, or choose an IT job, an Intelligence gathering job, be a Medic, be whatever slightly interests you and you get 4 years of experience and you can get your degree simultaneously or afterwards. Plus you get to travel and it will help you form an idea of what you want to do and it will help with your discipline and improve your work ethic, it did for me.
Imagine going to a therapist and you get the most basic advice of all time. Holy shit. A decade of school and that’s the advice they give.
Find a job, any job, and save as much as possible (stay with parents as long as possible). As you accumulate savings, more options will open up. And you’ll probably learn quite a bit on the job from colleagues about your industry and various skills, all of which will help you in finding what you want to do with yourself.
I joined the Air Force at your age. I only planned on doing 4 years for the education benefits. Ended up doing 20 years and retired. It paid for my degree with TA and my wife’s degree with my transferred GI bill. Best decision I made, and it wasn’t out of patriotism. I met some great people and traveled a lot (not always to the best places). Anyway, I enjoyed the structure it laid out for me. And now I enjoy the pension and VA benefits while working for a second retirement as a civilian employee. I would look into the Air Force, Space Force, or Coast Gaurd if you want to be treated better and learn a trade that transfers to civilian life. BTW, I joined at 22, retired at 42 with plenty of life left to live. I wish you the best!
Bro look into welding or plumbing you’ll be good
Consider joining the US military. You would learn a skill and earn money for college. If you damage your body in service you would get monthly compensation for it.
Air Force
Air Force: 1-800-423-USAF (1-800-423-8723)
Air Force Reserve: 1-800-257-1212
Air National Guard: 1-800-TO-GO-ANG (1-800-864-6264)
Army
Army and Army Reserve: 1-888-550-ARMY (1-888-550-2769)
Army National Guard: 1-800-GO-GUARD (1-800-464-8273)
Coast Guard
Coast Guard and Coast Guard Reserve: Chat with a recruiter
Marine Corps
Marine Corps and Marine Corps Reserve: 1-800-MARINES (1-800-627-4637)
Navy
Navy and Navy Reserve: 1-800-USA-NAVY (1-800-872-6289)
Space Force
Contact the Air Force to join the Space Force: 1-800-423-USAF (1-800-423-8723)
Go Military, wont regret in terms of personal development opportunities
You really don’t have many options except for the military man. They’ll set you straight for sure, and it’s generally a safe environment. Otherwise, I’d argue that you can fix every single issue that you listed by going to a gym or playing some sort of sport, if not both. Workout at least 3 days a week and hold yourself accountable for it, social skills will come along with. After that, you should consider a trade like becoming a carpenter, electrician, plumber, etc… They require no degree and if you join a union they’ll likely pay for your schooling so no savings needed really.
Everyone is saying military, but what if you cant join the military due to allergies or something else that disqualifies you like a previous broken bone in your medical history? Yes, meps looks into this stuff. I was disqualified just because I was allergic to peanut butter…
Dont just suggest military, people. Although it can help you a lot what if op does not want that life, or cant qualify.
I suggest working in a store like walmart thats pays for all of your college if you dont want to join the military or cannot. Some other stores that pay for some of your college or most of it are target, starbucks, kfc.
I would start with a job that pays for you to get your degree. Im working for walmart overnight while they are paying for all of my college. Getting a degree might help better your life financially, and then with all that money you can focus on other things you want to do in the future. You could just go to college with debt but i suggest looking into fafsa financial aid. You have to pay back the debts and grants is money you do not have to pay back.
I suggest first finding out what degree you want for your future career. Try taking a future career test to see what you are interested in.
Job Corps is sorta like military up to 24 years old. If I were to do it all over again, I’d go military. They got some cool ass jobs you get into. Rank up, take classes. That’s what I would do son, look into the military and don’t look back.
If only you were a woman.
Work ethic is a choice
Go get some vocational training that will stir u in a direction what your interests are
Enlist in the best service you can and prepare yourself physically. Practice for the ASVAB fee ar your local library. Best to worst services: USSF, USAF, USN, USCG, USMC and USA. But any of them would do. You can get out and become a police officer, join Border Patrol or learn all sorts of STEM shit and find your purpose. Avoid children and supporting women for a loooonnnnggg time and stay off drugs and the bottle. Just beer in moderation. Also fuck the reserves or NG before doing time on active duty. Go bi or go home.
The service will erase your old shitty self and will transform you into a disciplined, self sufficient, goal oriented, formidable and indestructible human being.
Sincerely,
USAF Veteran
It’s a tough spot, but I think your priority should be to take care of yourself financially first. How about picking up a trade or skill? Just to share my experience, I started out with no experience or budget and took a year to teach myself graphic design through YouTube and library books.
One of the best benefits of being a freelance graphic designer is that clients don’t really care if you have a degree, your portfolio is all that counts. So if you have the skills it’s definitely possible for you to make money online. You can work from home so it doesn’t really matter if you don’t have any social skills, and once your freelance career is stabilized you have the choice of working while traveling as a digital nomad.
In your case it’s about having the discipline and motivation to decide on what you want to do moving forward. If you’re interested or have any questions please let me know and I’ll do my best to help.
Work for an airline or peace corps
Work in a different country as au par or volunteering with underserved community in exchange for housing
If you’re Jewish, you can take a free trip to Jerusalem
Try a physical job like working in a garden, on a ranch, in a plant nursery or construction.
If you can swim, you can become a diver. Work on an oil rig. Try a trade like being an electrician or plumber. Work for UPS. They have good benefits. Could help with more ideas with more info
You like music so go in that direction. You won’t get better if you quit. Do it like a job. Commit to 30 minutes. Start a YouTube channel so you’ll be accountable. Look for other people to play with. Join a choir. Write songs even if they suck. Sing/play instrument at a local bar. Time will pass anyway and the way anyone gets good at anything is to log the hours. Listen to motivational podcasts so you can gather the energy to do it
Transportation Security Administrators hires security screeners and the like at airports around the country.
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is a unit of the US Department of Homeland Security.
The TSA regularly hires airport security screeners throughout the country. This is a link to their current job postings: [https://www.usajobs.gov/Search/Results?j=1802&j=1801&a=HSBC&hp=public&p=1](https://www.usajobs.gov/Search/Results?j=1802&j=1801&a=HSBC&hp=public&p=1)
I did two years with AmeriCorps in my twenties and it was also transformative. My first year was with NCCC. Lol it up. You’re welcome to DM me questions.
Trucking might be a good starting point. There are companies that will pay for everything.
[https://www.bls.gov/ooh/](https://www.bls.gov/ooh/)
The Occupational Outlook Handbook (OOH) provides information on what workers do; the work environment; education, training, and other qualifications; pay; the job outlook; information on state and area data; similar occupations; and sources of additional information for more than 300 occupational profiles covering about 4 out of 5 jobs in the economy.
The OOH is broken up into clusters of similar occupations. In order to find an occupation, browse the occupation groups of interest on the left-hand side of the homepage, or use the A–Z Index if you know the specific occupation. You may search for occupations by using the selector drop-down menus on the OOH homepage. Select by pay range, entry-level education, on-the-job training, projected number of new jobs, or projected growth rate. If you know the specific occupation you are interested in, you may enter a job title into the “Search Handbook” box on the top right-hand side of the homepage. In addition, you may browse by clicking any of the four links titled “highest paying,” “fastest growing (projected),” “most new jobs (projected),” and “field of degree.”
Although hundreds of occupations are covered in detail in the OOH, BLS publishes information on additional occupations for which the required education, training, median wages, and employment projections are prepared but detailed occupational information is not developed.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re young enough to make these mistakes now and recreate a life that you will be proud of. A lot of people will tell you go do x,y,x but the truth is you need to work on discipline and self confidence however you want. In my early twenties I was like you, maybe a little worse tbh. Would find job after job just to get let go because I couldn’t get out of bed on time.
It took reaching rock bottom, and a job that was challenging and required lots of discipline, to get to some form of stability. You’re not going to be perfect, but you get to decide how bad you want to be a reliable and successful adult. Finding purpose doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment or identity. This particular job I found in healthcare felt good to me at the end of the day. I was helping others and that opened the door for other opportunities, and continued “purpose” because people would call and ask for my help specifically.
What I did: got myself into therapy (tried several people until I found one I liked), took an SSRI for a year and a half, started working out at least 3-4 x a week, got into a routine (sleep/wake up same time daily, worked 9-5, school 6-10 or online or weekends, workout on non school days), and started holding myself accountable. I wasn’t always perfect and I’d fall off the track sometimes. But I never gave up. And even as I type this for you, it’s also reminding me now not to give up. This life is full of ups and downs. It’s the grit and determination to get back to the up that counts.
Can’t change everything at once….slow the process down. If you don’t listen to my advice, you will be stuck in neutral forever. Therapy 2x week is a very good option to talk with therapist
Convert to Islam. You need the real God in your life.
Bro fuck all the feds saying join the military that is literally the option offered to people about to be sent to prison for decades.
Get out of this rat race concept. Your life isn’t going to be the same as your peers in school since you aren’t the same as your peers so kill that idea right now.
Find the things you enjoy and pursue them. Wanna travel? Travel! Wanna learn music? Go play instruments!
Wandering aimlessly towards what fulfils your soul is light-years beyond a Faustian bargain with the military industrial complex.
If you fail in every aspect and are in your 30s THEN JOIN THE ARMED FORCES. That’s a reasonable trade there my guy. Not while you’re just starting out in life.
Eat right, exercise, challenge your mind, and above all else give yourself time to grow. Military is last option at all times not something to weigh against other things. They will take ANYONE.
don’t feel the need to rush. 22 is young! people change their plan all the time. slowly get into a routine and add to that. find what you have time for and make the best out of it. with some forward progress, things will fall into place.
I felt the same in my 20’s. Keep pushing through your mental fog.
Nothing changes if you don’t change.
You should focus on one thing at a time and start there. You have no money? Pursue something whether its college or a trade and get in a position to make money. Slowly work on the others as you make progress.
After just one session, your therapist doesn’t know you. Yeah, his advice is fairly generic, but accurate.
Have you ever journaled?
So let’s look at music for a second. Are you taking lessons? Practicing?
What interests you more specifically about music? Making it, listening to it?
22 is very young. People don’t have their shit sorted out at that age. The lucky among us *start* getting it sorted out around 30 at the best. A good chunk of people are still iffy on their “path” well into their 50s. So, don’t throw in the towel over your age.
Your therapist sounds garbage. See a different one. Right now you have a path, and it’s just basic feeling good and enjoying the everyday. Find a therapist who can help you on that path.
You can do basic cognitive behavioral therapy for yourself, too. I liked the book “Feeling Good” and it started me off well.
You need to work on being disciplined to have a good work ethic. If you are not willing to work hard, you will be in a similar situation in 10 years. Don’t listen to all the stuff you see online about all these people in their 20s who go on all these cool vacations and are constantly spending money on all this material stuff…. It’s fake, and they are racking up credit card debt, or are funded by their parents. I know you shared that you live in the middle of nowhere… but if your library is linked to hoopla or Libby (online e book and audiobook app) you can access it for free. There is SO MUCH free information out there now than before. You will be able to find your way! Whatever you do… always live below your means, and if you are Christian, read your Bible! It has so many good nuggets of information on how to live your life. I decided to read the New Testament and it’s been eye opening. You got this!!
Hey I feel you. I’m also 22 and am starting nursing school soon! Seems interesting and rewarding to me 🙂
My best advice would be to journal every day and write about your day, yourself, and the things you want. Journaling as helped me a ton. Good luck friend
Go to church, join the army, or get an interest (you don’t have to like it at first, but it will grow on you).
Those are your three paths.
One thing I would start with is your mental health. Figure out if going to this therapist is worth it. Or see if it’s time to change therapists if you believe that something you still want or need because, from what it sounds like, they aren’t that great. Second of all, you said something about depression and add it in the comments. Work on that. If you work on your mental state, it will change your entire outlook on life or how you live your life.
Another thing would be your physical as well. Another thing that can change your life is if you start working on maintaining a healthy weight and eating right. That will improve your mental state as well. And your ability to do things in general.
After that, decide what it is you want to do. Look into your options. For example, is going back to college a thing, can you do a trade, etc?
I’ve seen many of the comments suggest going into the services. That sounds like an excellent option, but for many, that’s not always feasible. See what is possible for you. See what options are available to you, then go from there.
Have you thought of attending community college or applying to colleges with scholarships? I didn’t know what I wanted to do until my senior year. But college was a very exciting and enriching place to be. It was the best decision I ever made. You meet cool people, learn how to see the world differently, and live somewhere new.
You’re thinking about too many things and it’s going to be overwhelming. Baby steps!! Start with a job, save and go on from there. If you’re low income you can apply for fafsa and it’ll cover your degree if you’re interested in doing that
find a warehouse nearby. find a labor job. something with ridiculous long hours. find something that’s constantly 60 hours a week. i know most people can barley handle 40 but try the push, the paychecks come out fat and you’re too busy to remember your depressed since now you have an excuse to not be doing fun things.
once you save up some cash move out. you say you like music, go to a city known where you know your favorite genre is big in. you’ll meet more people like you.
you can tried medications and stuff but all the really do is give you a little extra push to make some changes. start writing ridiculous ideas down and commit to them. find your weaknesses and overcome them.
Lastly give up. give up so you know what rock bottom feels like. give up to get the full depression experience. compare yourself to everyone else’s fake social media selves. feel the pain. sometime it take the absolute worst to know that you need to get the fuck out and start making some changes. know the feeling that you never want to feel actual and think of it as a blessings because it’s the toughest of times that have the strongest turning points
David Goggins
Nietzsche haha
I hate to say this. But I was lost at your age and I tried praying sincerely. The arrogance of our times teaches young people that they don’t need God. Or that it’s weak to have a God centered life. But I find it to be the center of all strength.
Cybersecurity. It’s so much fun it feels like play instead of work lol!
What do you want to do? What would your life look like with no limits in 5 years. What would your dream day look like. Then build it one step at a time.
Bro, read the compound effect. Work on improving small habits… if you want to gain weight… slowly eat more