#BoundarySetting #Friendship #Relationships #Respect #PersonalSpace
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a friend or acquaintance just doesn’t seem to understand the concept of personal boundaries? It can be frustrating and challenging to deal with, especially when you’ve clearly communicated your needs and yet they continue to disregard them. That’s exactly what one Reddit user is facing in a recent post, where she shared her dilemma about her boyfriend’s friend who come over every day, despite her request for just one day of privacy.
🤷♀️ What do you call someone who ignores a simple request for one day out of seven? It’s a perplexing situation, but one that many people can relate to. So, let’s delve into this issue and explore some possible solutions.
## The Situation
The Reddit user, a 55-year-old woman, shared that her boyfriend’s 65-year-old friend comes over to their house every day from late afternoon till late at night. Despite her explicit request for just one day – Sunday – where he doesn’t come over, the friend continues to show up regularly. This has understandably left her feeling frustrated and seeking a way to address this ongoing issue.
### 1. Lack of Respect for Boundaries
It’s clear that the friend’s behavior is indicative of a lack of respect for boundaries. In any healthy relationship, whether it’s with friends, family, or romantic partners, setting and respecting boundaries is crucial. When someone consistently ignores your boundaries, it can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and even a strain on the relationship.
### 2. Communication is Key
In this case, the Reddit user has already communicated her request to her boyfriend, who agreed but didn’t take any action. She then bravely approached the friend herself, yet the behavior persists. Effective communication is essential in any relationship, and it’s important to continue addressing the issue openly and honestly.
### 3. Seeking Mutual Understanding
It’s possible that the friend may not fully understand the impact of his actions on the Reddit user. By initiating a calm and respectful conversation, it may be possible to shed light on the situation and seek a mutual understanding. Explaining how his frequent visits affect her personal time and space could help in finding a resolution.
## Advice from Bhagavad Gita
In the Bhagavad Gita, there is a profound teaching on duty and righteousness. While not directly related to this specific situation, the concept of dharma, or duty, can be applied in navigating interpersonal relationships. By upholding our own boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others, we are fulfilling our dharma and fostering harmonious interactions.
### Tips for Setting Boundaries
Here are some practical tips for setting boundaries and dealing with individuals who ignore your requests:
1. Clearly communicate your boundaries: Be assertive and clear about your needs and boundaries.
2. Enlist support: If necessary, seek the help of your partner or a mediator to address the situation.
3. Reinforce consequences: Clearly communicate the consequences of continued boundary violations.
4. Self-care: Prioritize your own well-being and make time for self-care to maintain emotional balance.
5. Seek professional help: If the situation escalates or becomes too overwhelming, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor.
By addressing the issue of boundaries and communication, you can work towards finding a resolution that respects the needs and feelings of all parties involved. Remember, it’s important to prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries that uphold your sense of self-respect. #selfcare #communication #relationships
In conclusion, dealing with individuals who ignore your boundaries can be challenging, but it’s essential to address the issue proactively and assertively. By focusing on effective communication, mutual understanding, and upholding your own boundaries, you can navigate such situations with clarity and compassion. Remember, you deserve to have your needs respected and your boundaries honored.
That’s just l bizarre.
When the hell do you two spend time together?
I’d at least tell husband he needs to go meet his buddy somewhere else so you can have the house to yourself.
I wouldn’t bear to see my friends that often, but that’s how they works for 50+ years so I’m not going to project my own preferences here.
I think you need to put your foot down more firmly. Tell him that you’ve talked about not having his friend over on Sundays and he’s still showing up pretty much every week despite what he (your boyfriend) agreed to. It makes you feel like he’s not really paying attention to your needs in this situation, and you wish he would take the matter into his own hands to make sure they have that one day of full privacy just for the two of you. If possible, have the matter resolve here and then, don’t let him push back to later.
It sounds like your BF and his best friend are the ones on a relationship. Your BF is more into his friend than you. Why are you hanging around fighting for scraps? Have you no self respect? Go find someone who is not already in a relationship with someone else.
I would call it “not giving a fuck about you or the relationship”
> Does anyone have a term or name for someone that ignores a request to not come over 1 day out of 7?
This is kind of a strange question to come to as a conclusion.
Who cares what someone like this would be called? The friend isn’t the issue, your boyfriend is. You’ve asked for a single night where you can be alone just the two of you at home and *your partner* ignored it. This guy wouldn’t come over every night if your boyfriend didn’t welcome him in.
You can and should tell your boyfriend that you NEED at least half the week without houseguests. Make it clear that this is non-negotiable. It is a completely reasonable compromise. If he refuses to adjust his behavior even a tiny bit to accommodate you in your shared home, the problem isn’t his friend, the problem is that he doesn’t respect you.
Sounds like those two should be dating 😂
Dorothy, they’re gay
Yes, and it’s “man with an art room”
They’re in their 60s they’re not going to change for you or anyone else. Take it or leave it.
that would get on my nerves. i dont want anybody around that much.
It’s like they’re hanging out like I did with my bros when I was 15. Does the friend have a partner? I’m guessing not. My guess is he friend is lonely or has no one else and that’s why he’s round all the time. Maybe they just love hanging out without a Mom to tell him to go home. It won’t stop and they’re making you the Mom.
He may even be trying to oust you at which point he can say well she wasn’t there for you bro it’s just us now. I’m all you need bro. But also puts you in the position of ultimatum giver. Fun! I wonder how many times this has happened before…
Seriously tell this grown ass man to grow up and treat you and your home with some respect and tell his friend he needs to get a life. Don’t say it’s me or him. Give him the choice to stand up for you and make time and if he doesn’t just leave. The guy sounds 15 not 55. Life is too short to spend it with some random in your house 24-7 just bc your bf is an ass that won’t stand his ground for you. The term for both of them is selfish inconsiderate asshole btw. You don’t owe this guy nothing. He’s not your friend and it feels like you don’t have much of a boyfriend either.
Your boyfriend is gay
Fucking hell that’s so annoying lol
Why are you accepting such low effort from a man who clearly doesn’t value you?
The term is ‘Disrespectful’ and they both are.
Start disappearing when he comes over and he’ll start wondering why… Then you can tell him you’re no longer comfortable with this arrangement and the disrespect that comes with it.
If they aren’t gay, which they might be, maybe try setting his friend up with a girlfriend.
Why are you tolerating this behavior? Your boyfriend would rather spend his evenings with his friend.
Such a short post. How long have you two been dating? It sounds like you live there too, but how old are you? Has your bf ever been married? How about his friend? Is he incapable of making dinner for himself? Because it sounds like you probably feed him with the time he’s over. At his age, I’d be thinking that he’s actually gay and you are his beard. Do they spend time alone? Hang out in the garage all night? I think I’d try to figure out what’s actually going on at the very least.
You could always start planning activities so you guys won’t be home. Maybe a movie, gotta run to the store, let’s go grab a bite to eat, etc, and see what happens. Maybe if you aren’t home he’ll take the hint.
That said, if your BF doesn’t have a problem with it then you’re going to either have to move on or just accept it.
Is he building an art room for him?
I mean, I kind of feel like you’re going to be fighting a losing battle here. Regardless of whether or not your boyfriend and this other guy are romantically entwined (personally I don’t think it’s a sure thing like some folks here do), I suspect he’s going to pick his 50+ year relationship over a relatively newer one.
I think the word you’re looking for is partner. Boyfriend would also work.
**Does anyone have a term or name for someone that ignores a request to not come over 1 day out of 7?**
Yes, they are called assholes. Your bf and his friend are both assholes. Sounds like they have more of a relationship than you do.
>Does anyone have a term or name for someone that ignores a request to not come over 1 day out of 7?
A trespasser?
They are life partners even if it’s non sexual. It sounds like your boyfriend is just using you to satisfy whatever this existing partnership doesn’t, but he’s by no means emotionally available. Keep it non committal or find someone else if you want the relationship to ever deepen to an actual partnership (living together etc)
“Does anyone have a term or name for someone that ignores a request not to come over 1 day out of 7?”
“Boyfriend”. Your boyfriend has a boyfriend.
Sorry to break it to you but it seems that YOU are the side chick
The problem is with your bf not his friend.
This is all really good advice. I needed to hear this. I feel like my husband doesn’t value me. He goes out 4 nights a week with his friends and claims it’s good to socialize for his business. His phone will be off and he comes home after midnight. He’ll get mad at me and I feel like he picks a fight as an excuse to be with his friends.
Are they building an “art room”???