“What happens after a family member dies surrounded by loved ones?”
Have you ever wondered about the process that takes place after a family member passes away in the presence of their loved ones? When someone close to us leaves this world, there are certain steps that need to be taken in order to handle the situation appropriately. Here is a breakdown of what typically happens after a family member dies surrounded by family:
Immediate Steps After Death
– Confirm the person has passed away
– Notify emergency services if needed
– Contact a medical professional or hospice worker
Legalities and Practical Considerations
– Call the coroner or funeral home
– Begin making arrangements for the deceased
Emotional Support and Grieving Process
– Allow family members to say their goodbyes
– Seek support from friends, family, or grief counseling services
In moments like these, it’s understandable to feel unsure or uncomfortable about what comes next. However, by understanding the steps involved and knowing that you can lean on others for support, the process can become a bit easier to navigate. The most important thing during this time is to take care of yourself and your loved ones as you cope with the loss. #family #death #grief #support #mourning #bereavement #funeral #lovedones
You don’t have to call the coroner unless the death is unexplained. Usually in those “surrounded by loved ones” situations it’s either in the hospital or at home with a nurse.
You call the funeral home to come and get the body for embalming and stuff. And then you cry. Or do whatever is culturally appropriate for you under the circumstances.
It is in fact uncomfortable and awkward. But those feelings were fleeting in my experiences. It’s like a beat of discomfort than you separate yourself from the moment. Once you’re moving out of the room it isn’t awkward.
My dad, uncle, and I awkwardly stood in a little circle. We didn’t say much until my dad said we should get the nurse and call the family. We were in a hospice unit.
If you have the fortunate luck to know the time is near, everything is plotted and planned out before the passing of the person in question. So family generally knows what will happen when the inevitable happens. Who to call, what to have ready, phone numbers, etc. In the matter of an unknown / sudden passing, it’s sort of dependant on the circumstances as far as the next step. And as far as the people themselves? Really depends on a lot of factors, but generally it’s all the same just at different degrees (hospital vs. home envirnoment). Profuse crying, wailing, and general expressions of pain have been my experience. I have a tight knit, very large family and in the passing of our loves one we often mourn together and learn on one another for emotional and physical support especially in those first few hours.
Pub.
My grandparents were Irish, silent gen, we live in the UK. We knew my grandma was going to die, she was still at home cared for by family, so her 6 children were with her all night, she died as the sun came up.
Lots of phone calls and within 10 minutes people starting arriving. All the grandchildren from around the town first, then by 5pm we had 4 siblings over from Ireland.
Grans body was in the living room until about 7pm, enough time for her siblings who were travelling that day to get there and say goodbye “in person”.
We spent the day drinking mostly tea and talking and laughing about memories, also cracking jokes about her sitting up and asking for a cuppa any minute.
It was a “good” day, as good a day as anyone could have expected, it was therapeutic
Things become very surreal in the next moments. There’s an apprehension that hangs in the air as you wonder if it’s really over, or if the person will suddenly come back for longer. It’s too quiet, and your ears ring, and the air gets oppressive. People file out of the room, some cry, some stare, some say things to themselves to make themselves feel better, or just DO something. Long moments pass where nobody knows what to do. Even if you’ve planned it all in advance, the shock of it just creates paralysis for a time. (Obviously, this is not what happens to everyone, every time, but it’s how it has always been in my family…)
Then, when you accept what has happened, it’s time to call…someone. The funeral home, the social worker, the hospice people, the police or ambulance; whomever you think will help with what’s next. Then you wait for people to come and start attending to things. Soon enough, too soon, they take the person away and start them on their final journey. Some people stay together, others slowly disperse with tears and hugs, or just leave in solemn silence.
It is one of the strangest times we have in life.
We asked our care facility to call the funeral home we set up previously
We waited for the funeral home to send their pick up person
After they left, I didn’t want to hang out with any of my family anymore so I drove to 711 and drank coffee and soda until I was tired of that
Went home and tried to sleep
Funeral was 3 weeks later
For us it was a bit of a relief, it had followed a few weeks in hospital with a rapid decline due to cancer. I had been in the room with my mum when her mum passed, there was a few minutes when we sat with her right after and said goodbye. Then we called the nurse in to let them know and rang family to come back who had gone home not long before.
We had some time, maybe an hour or however long you need to contact other family and let them know, we talked a bit and cried together and made a call to the funeral home. When we were ready we let the nurses know we were leaving, packed her things together and went to her husbands place together. The nurses would prepare the body to go to the holding place for the funeral home to receive her the next day. Then we were able to make coffee and be together for a bit before I went home.
well my sister called the minister who rushed over in the middle of the night to be at the hospital with us.
as we started discussing next steps, the minister made sure we included donations in lieu of flowers – to the church – was included in the death announcements.
while we stood around my father’s still warm body.
honest truth.
pretty uneventful otherwise.
the REAL fun started after we left the hospital and she started talking about the will a few hours later.
sigh.
20 years and no contact since that adventure resolved a few weeks later.
no contact, no drama and great in laws for 16 years
Well in the nursing home, yeah. After death is confirmed they’ll hang around for a bit, maybe chat with the staff. And then shuffle off. It’s not til the next day after they’ve processed it and grieved thar they’ll arrive to clear the room of possessions. Some people really throw themselves into this bit, it’s therapeutic or putting something to rest.
From New Zealand – I was with my dad when he passed about a year ago. There was a group of about 5 of us who had been taking turns staying with him while he was passing – culturally, here, you don’t leave someone who is dying alone – my aunt, his sister, worked in a rest home, so she was familiar with patients passing, she knew when it was going to be my dad’s time, and called us in so we could be with him as he passed.
Once he passed, I called the funeral director and asked them what the next steps were, and the group of us continued to take turns sitting with my dad’s body until the funeral director could arrive.
A lot of it was a blur, but what followed was basically organising the funeral director to come and collect his body, organising people visiting him/his body, setting up the funeral, payment for the funeral etc. etc.
Using celebrities as examples, it’s probably a lot different, but from an average family, a lot of organising tends to happen afterwards.
I wish I could tell ya. My dad died surrounded by all of us in January of 2013. I honestly can’t remember 90% of anything until late July 2013. I know we did funeral, and settled the estate. But pretty much processing it is all the living can do.
We took a breath, cried a bit,had some hugs, called hospice and the funeral home, watched her body be taken away, then we had breakfast.
You call the doctor, institutions take the lead from there: they tell you call a funeral home, funeral homes tells you to call a lawyer, etc.
Emotionally, the last days are rough, because you realise you won’t have any moment of lucidity even if those got rare. The end is a weird relief and it’s new. There’s a ton of practical questions — like how long the body is going to stay there? Will it smell? that get answered by professionals who deliberately show consideration: they consistently say they are sorry for your loss, the body is shrouded, it’s all there to acknowledge what happened and give you place to process.
The experience sucks, but the professionals are helping overall. In they had assets, and the inheritance wasn’t cleared out very explicitly, that part sucks enormously.
We weren’t there when my mum took her last breathe late at night in her living room. But she was terminal, we knew it was coming. Me and my siblings were all called when it happened. I got there first but couldn’t face her alone. When one of my sisters arrived, we walked in together. My other siblings got there shortly after. We took turns at giving her forehead a kiss and had a chair next to her. Each of us kind of unspokenly held her hand for a bit while we talked about memories and how much we love her. We lit candles. (She had made them, we lit the ones she made) I stayed the night. But in another room. Her husband was in their bedroom. My husband worked away and began his 13hr drive home when I notified him she has passed. I went out for breakfast with my dad and sister. We ate and cried. Then I went back to my mums. Once my husband arrived, and got his chance to say goodbye. – My mums husband called the funeral home to come and get her. I stayed in the room and locked the door and I believe we put some music on because I was told the body can make some strange noises when it’s being moved around and I didn’t want to hear them. Then my husband and I went to pick our kids up from my in-laws where I had dropped them on my way to see my mum and explained to them what had happened.
My mum had it in her list of wishes that she wanted me to curl her hair for her open casket!
So I did. I went to the funeral home with my hair curler and I curled her hair. Which was the weirdest thing I have ever done. I didn’t want to do it. But one of my sisters came with me and it was like my one last thing I could do for my mother.
We were with my mom when she died just over a year ago, in hospital. She was in an isolation ICU bed. The nurse monitored her vitals from outside the room and shut all the machines off inside the room. We played music and held her hand. When she passed, the nurse came in and pronounced her time of death. We said goodbye to her and went into the anteroom to remove our PPE. We hugged as a family and told each other we loved each other. Then we met with a family friend who at the hospital but not in the room with her. We made a few calls to other family, then we each went our separate ways and went home. The wild part was just leaving the hospital without her.
It almost sounds like you are worried about it being awkward or something. That is the furthest from the truth it could be if that is what you are thinking.
What happened in my experience is that there is crying and intense emotion that would be hard to describe.
You sit there and hold the hand of your dead loved one feeling the warmth leave their body.
Some period of time after they are cold you’ll have to leave. No idea how long that could be as time in a moment like that is strange.
You know you need to leave them but you don’t want to. However some part of you knows they’re not there anymore anyway. Once you can reconcile that you leave I guess.
I’m in Ontario, Canada. Parent had cancer and chose to be at home for his final days. We had 24×7 care provided by Ministry of Health. He passed away overnight about 1 am. We were woken up by the caregiver. Called the family. They came during the night. Covered the body, caregiver cleaned up and left.
We mourned.
In the morning, Called the funeral home (prearranged funeral) and the Family Doctor. Funeral home picked up his body by 10 am. Family Doctor went to the funeral home to examine the body and sign the death certificate. Came to our house to talk to us.
Hospital bed and other medical devices were picked up before noon.
Quite surreal.
My grandpa just died . We all knew he was dying and he was getting hospice in his apartment at an old folks community. We sat with him for about an hour after while people told stories about him and eventually called the funeral home to pick him up
Go for tacos. Everyone’s probably really hungry.
My step-dad died, overnight, on the sofa at his gf’s house. His girlfriend called me to let me know, and I went over around 9am. He had a card nearby that had a number for a local medical board (?) to take his body after death. We made several calls to them, as well as the police. We sat next to him in the living room for over 14 hours waiting for that board’s pick-up van to arrive. That’s what **we** did.
My wife was/is a hospice nurse for 10+ years and has seen this scenario hundreds of times. Everytime she went to work, it was to take care of the patient until they passed. Explain the process to the family. It might take a week, or a few hours to pass. Average time was about 2 days.
If the patient was older, 60+ years old, then it went how other people described above. She says usually the women of the family would stay in the room far longer than the men would after the patient passes.
If the patient is younger, emotions are usually higher. These are generalizations, every family is different. But she says the younger patients might have children that arent grown yet and that makes it hard.
She says about 1/3 of her cases she would end up crying with the family.
2 of her notable cases, for us at least, include her ex-husband who was 42 years old and diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. And her older sister who was 58 I think, stage 4 bone cancer.
We usually sit around the dying one and sing, goof off, cry -whatever comes naturally. When they pass, there’s a lot of crying, and someone calls the hospice nurse and they come and pronounce them, and then we make funeral arrangements.
Go to the pub usually.
When the rest of my family left I called a friend to come and sit with me and my parent’s remains until the funeral home workers arrived at the hospital after about an hour and a half later. That’s the kind of friend everyone should have.
The family then surrounds the lawyer for the reading of the will.
My grandfather passed away in a home hospice about 9 years ago. It was a very unique bonding experience with the rest of my family that made it. After he died obviously the body was removed to make funeral arrangements. We went out to a nice dinner to celebrate his life.
My mom passed recently, I was the only one there. She was on hospice so the first thing I did was call my husband and then one of my best friends to come over. Then yes, we called Hospice and just sat in the front room. I turned on her record player and let her favorite albums play while we waited for them. We sipped coffee, cried, laughed, and pet her dog who came home with me.
When the coroners got there only they were in the room, we couldn’t bear to be in there with her while they got her, well to put it crassly, loaded. They put a lovely quilted blanket over her to take her to the hearse. I kissed her goodbye one last time then broke down for about a half hour.
It’s less awkward than you would imagine, your hurting too much to care about social niceties, or keeping up conversation. It can be a mixture of joyful laughter remembering them, and completely somber. It’s kinda hard to describe honestly.
We did the same with my grandma in the ICU. Literally 15 people were there when she passed, all in this tiny ICU room. When the doctor called TOD some people left to go sit in another room, others stayed to say a few words. It wasn’t awkward because honestly you’re not thinking about anyone else around you. It’s a self consuming feeling and to me everyone just kinda faded into the background. Even if somebody had been or felt awkward, nobody noticed or said anything at all.
My mom passed recently, I was the only one there. She was on hospice so the first thing I did was call my husband and then one of my best friends to come over. Then yes, we called Hospice and just sat in the front room. I turned on her record player and let her favorite albums play while we waited for them. We sipped coffee, cried, laughed, and pet her dog who came home with me.
When the coroners got there only they were in the room, we couldn’t bear to be in there with her while they got her, well to put it crassly, loaded. They put a lovely quilted blanket over her to take her to the hearse. I kissed her goodbye one last time then broke down for about a half hour.
It’s less awkward than you would imagine, your hurting too much to care about social niceties, or keeping up conversation. It can be a mixture of joyful laughter remembering them, and completely somber. It’s kinda hard to describe honestly.
We did the same with my grandma in the ICU. Literally 15 people were there when she passed, all in this tiny ICU room. When the doctor called TOD some people left to go sit in another room, others stayed to say a few words. It wasn’t awkward because honestly you’re not thinking about anyone else around you. It’s a self consuming feeling and to me everyone just kinda faded into the background. Even if somebody had been or felt awkward, nobody noticed or said anything at all.
It’s the most painful silence. Everyone is crying. No is speaks for a long time. Everyone processes.
Then one of us excuses themselves to begin making the calls To the rest of the family and medic team.
Food and drinks are gotten,
Stories start, and the crying continues
before the family disperses. The next week is full of funeral arrangements.
It is always painful to remember my loved ones passing and that feeling of community and love before, during, and after.
I was in the room with a good portion of my family when my grandfather passed in the hospital.
We all stood/sat there for a few moments. My uncle closed my grandpa’s eyes. My aunt asked my grandma if she wanted to pray, and the answer was “I don’t know”
Someone called my other aunt, the only one of his children that wasn’t in the room (she lived hours away) and handed the phone to my grandma.
When one of the nurses came in, we all got up and wandered off aimlessly for a bit so they could take care of the body.
Eventually we all kind of wandered back together and another nurse came over to let us know we could go back into my grandpa’s room and process everything if we wanted to. We didn’t. That wasn’t him anymore.
My fiancé passed suddenly from an epileptic seizure. He was staying at his parents house but no one was there with him. Apparently his sister found him. His family never shared the details with me so I’m left to wonder about these things. Did she call the coroner? How long was he dead and alone?
Currently in therapy and a grief support group to deal with these feelings and thoughts. I’m envious of those that get to pass peacefully with all of their loved ones around them
My mother passed away like this. You call a funeral home and speak to mortician to start “making arrangements”. They are they professionals you want at that time. The first arrangement is to come and pick up the body.
It’s not that weird. My grandma died last year in this way.
She was taken home from the hospital to receive hospice care until she passed. Hospice had her set up in the living room on a bed. She was not conscious anymore by that point, so we all kind of sat around and held her hand and talked to her. Called the priest to do her last rights (she was a devout Catholic). Literally an hour after hospice had her set up and is explaining care to my mom and aunts, she passed.
The priest hadn’t even gotten there yet. All the family showed up, my great aunts, cousins, etc. We all cried and laughed that grandma wanted to come home to die but didn’t want to leave us with the hospice bill so she made sure she passed as quickly as possible lol.
She was in the living room for a couple hours. Kind of like a wake, everyone said their goodbyes. Priest came in and prayed over her. I brought her dog over to give her a few sniffs so he knew that she was gone. Then the funeral home came to take her away.
Priest was so apologetic and concerned about her eternal soul, kept apologizing that he should have been there earlier. He seemed really distressed lol. I was like, “It’s okay Father, we thought we had more time.” He left crying.
Then we all just tried to comfort each other. My cousins and I all got drunk and played music grandma loved, mostly The Beatles. Honestly it was much more comforting than watching someone die in a hospital. I’ve dealt with a few of those and it’s difficult because you can only have so many people in the room, have people crying in the hallways and stuff. It’s easier to let everyone grieve in their own ways when you’re in a private home. Death is already kind of weird regardless but while that was one of the hardest deaths I’ve dealt with, it was also the most peaceful.
We locked the door of her senior care room and drank two bottles of expensive rum while we laughed and cried. We told the nurse who had administered the last shot of morphine and ativan that everything went how it was supposed to go so she wouldn’t carry any feelings of guilt.
yes my whole fam was in the room when my dad died. we all just kinda sat around waiting for him to be removed from all the stuff and the funeral home to come get him, then we all went home.
When my dad died I did not say much of anything (or think much of anything).
All I can describe is that he was alive, I was there, and he died. Total silence and I walk upstairs to my room next to his bedroom where he would sleep for 19 years. I got under my covers, listened to the fan. Then I was asleep and my life was changed.
How do you wake up the next day and pick it back up? I did not, though I did go to school about 13 hours after he died. Totally silent, just was moving on autopilot
My grandpop lived his last days in at home hospice care at my house.
I was a senior in HS and had my first fuzzy navel. Family all came over my house after he passed and drank and reminisced.