#MarriageFun #GettingMarriedYoung #RelationshipAdvice
What is the “fun” one misses when they get married? 🤔
Getting married at a young age is often a topic of debate among individuals, especially for those who believe they may be missing out on certain experiences by tying the knot early. But what exactly is the “fun” that one may miss out on when they decide to get married at a young age? Let’s delve into this question and explore what it really means to have fun in a relationship.
Is the fun just sleeping around? 🛏️
Many people believe that the fun they are missing out on when they get married is simply the ability to sleep around and date multiple people. However, this may not necessarily be the case for everyone. While some individuals may enjoy the thrill of casual dating and meeting new people, others find true happiness and fulfillment in a committed and loving relationship.
The fun of companionship and partnership 💑
One of the greatest joys of getting married is the opportunity to share your life with a partner who truly understands and supports you. The fun in marriage comes from building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and companionship with your significant other. Here are some of the things you may enjoy when you are married:
1. Traveling together and exploring new places as a couple
2. Cooking and trying out new recipes together
3. Building a home and creating a safe space filled with love and laughter
4. Supporting each other’s goals and dreams
5. Enjoying intimate moments and creating memories that will last a lifetime
While some may argue that these activities can still be enjoyed as a single person, there is something special about experiencing them with someone you love and care about deeply.
The fun of commitment and stability 💍
Marriage provides a sense of commitment and stability that may be missing in casual relationships. When you are married, you have a partner who is there for you through thick and thin, and who is committed to making the relationship work no matter what challenges may arise. This sense of security and stability can bring a different kind of fun and joy to your life:
1. Knowing that you have a lifelong partner to lean on during tough times
2. Building a future together and setting goals as a team
3. Creating a family and raising children together
4. Growing and evolving as individuals while supporting each other’s personal growth
5. Celebrating milestones and accomplishments together
Marriage can offer a sense of fulfillment and happiness that goes beyond the excitement of casual dating and hookups.
In conclusion, while some may believe that getting married at a young age means missing out on certain experiences, the truth is that marriage can bring a different kind of fun and fulfillment to your life. The fun of companionship, partnership, commitment, and stability can enrich your relationship and bring joy and happiness that may not be found in casual encounters. So, if you are considering getting married at a young age, remember that the fun you may be missing out on is not just about sleeping around – it’s about building a strong and loving relationship with someone you care about deeply.
It’s the babies.
You could still go out and do so many fun things, experience so much of the world, with your beloved at your side. But when you add the baby, then you get the anchor.
I think other than sleeping around, fun can just mean being spontaneous. It sounds like you and your fiancé have a lot of the same interests, but being single and being able to do whatever you want on a moments notice without having to check in is also fun.
It’s being able to go wherever and do whatever you want, when you want, without having to worry about someone else’s plans or schedule.
Want to go on a yoga retreat in Instambul? Go, without having to check with someone about whether that works for them, if that’s OK with them, etc. Want to go back to school? You can, without having to see if it fits in with someone else’s financial plan or timeline.
28F and single. “Fun” for me means the ability to be selfish and make choices for solely myself.
Found a cool job and want to move across the country? Great, I can pack up and leave. I want to go on an expensive trip with my friends? Awesome, I don’t have to consult anyone else about finances. In the mood to sleep in / spend too many hours on my hobbies / not visit in-laws on the holidays? Those are all options available to me without potentially upsetting anyone else.
I think for some people, they need to have years of being selfish before “the inevitable” (marriage, kids, blended families) happens. Then you’re permanently bound to someone and have to be considerate of their feelings/time/finances/etc.
I was a completely different person at 18 than I was at 23 and then again totally different at 26 and then a lot of changes as I entered my 30’s. For me the reason not to get married young isn’t necessarily a sexual issue but more a personal growth and self exploration. People change a lot in their 20’s and you can change, your partner can change in less dramatic ways than you may think that have a huge impact on your relationship.
He may want to spend a lot of his free time bowling and you might grow to despise bowling and something as innocent as that can be the catalyst for the realization that you got married too young and maybe weren’t as right for each other as you thought. Nobody has to cheat or become violent, just sometimes people grow into adulthood and aren’t as connected as they were in thier youth.
If you like travelling or going to nightclubs, that will be curtailed once the babies start arriving.
Don’t worry about what other people say. My wife and I got married “young” I guess. I was 24, she had just turned 25. Some people told us the same thing about “missing out,” but the reality is we had so much fun together in that second half of our 20s. We traveled a lot, went to countless concerts and festivals, tried different bars and restaurants. At 30 we had a baby and that slowed things down a bit but I don’t regret getting married at the age we did
I’m happily married, but to me it’s the ability to just “be.” Marriage adds responsibilities to and for another person. If you want to sit and do absolutely nothing, talk to no one, talk to everyone, do everything, etc, it might be tough when married. You may want to do nothing but your spouse disagrees and you have to find a compromise IF it’s a healthy marriage. Also, you most likely won’t be the same person at 30 that you are at 23. I know I’m vastly different, I’m 36, than I was in my 20s. I think most divorces happen because couples just aren’t compatible because nobody took the time to figure out who they are before getting married. I know for a fact that’s why my first marriage failed, we grew apart. We were in our early 20s and we are both very different now than we were at that time. Of course everyone and every relationship is different, but I’m teaching my daughter it’s ok to take your time.
Everything is going to be so much fun when you do it with the person you love most in this world. I don’t miss being single one bit.
Really the big thing is having a child. It’s not the actual marriage but that is commonly associated with marriage. Basically makes it 10x harder to go out for a drink or travel anywhere or really do anything
Also obviously anything involving flirting or dating people or whatever
The other valid point is that it does somewhat limit what you can do. For a lot of aspects of your life now there are two very important opinions and schedules. It’s harder to just pick up and leave for the weekend cause in a healthy relationship you should talk to your partner about it atleast and then maybe they have an event going on that weekend you are supposed to be at or you wanted to go with them but they are busy.
There’s also just a higher connotation of responsibility that comes with marriage. It’s not nescessarily real, but a lot of times people get more serious about planning their life when they get married. They are more worried about things like careers and getting a house and stuff
First off, every person and every relationship is different…so you and your fiance will create your own path.
That is good that you both are still doing things together and enjoying them: it sounds like the “fun” factor is still going strong for both of you. The more important issue is that when you both start to age/grow things can change: hobbies, interests, etc. Perhaps you both grow to like the same things but you can also both grow to like different things: and that is ok! But you have to realize that it can/will happen. So in that sense, the fun may change when you both start to like different things especially since who you are now, probably wont be who you are in 10 years. Maybe one day you decide you like staying in but your fiance is still wanting to go out…One weekend turns into multiple weekends and now you harbor resentment because they dont want to stay in with you. On the flip side, they might start wondering what happened to my “fun” wife that used to always go out with me.
The young age that you are at right now, allows you the freedom to not care, not worry about anyone else, you can be selfish, you can eat what you want, sleep when you want, do nothing if you want, etc. This is why some folks think they are missing out on “fun” by getting married too early.
Flirting, dating and partying single if that’s something you’re into.
Personally, I’d worry more about the loss of freedom: if you want your marriage to last, you will have to prioritize what’s best for your couple, and that’s not necessarily what’s best for you.
It might not seem like much, but it could mean scarifying your career, earning potential, living near your family and friends, etc. And I’m not saying this because you’re a woman (even though in practice, women do tend to sacrifice themselves more for their spouse’s career). I say that because sometimes, there is no other choice than having one of the spouse’s career and preferences take the back burner.
The other thing is that no matter how mature you are compared to the rest of your age group, you will continue to grow and change in the next few years. There is zero guarantee that you and your fiance will grow in the same direction. At least one major value or want of yours will fundamentally change in the next few years. Of course, older people also change and grow, but as you age the pace of change slows down.
Now, 23 is not _that_ young. It’s not as concerning as getting married at 18. It’s still on the young side though. It’s certainly not doomed to fail, but what’s the downside of waiting?
It’s hard enough to understand yourself and your own needs at that age, let alone a whole other person who is changing and growing as well. I think by fun, they mean the freedom to figure out the potential of what you could be. Marriage equals compromise, no matter how well you get along. Most people want a period where they can be completely devoted to their own growth first.
I got married at 25 years old. I can’t exactly answer your question directly. Honestly, I don’t miss being single or dating. I was just thinking this last night, we were having an impromptu get together with friends and my husband and I are the only ones not in the dating world right now. Our friends were all talking about their dating strategies and struggles, and all I could think was “I’m so glad I’m past all that.” I love being married to my husband and living my life with him.
When you find the right partner, you don’t need the “fun” of being single, married life is the best! I have an automatic buddy, helper, friend, lover, date, etc. in all areas of life. I have someone to share my struggles and triumphs with. Someone to eat with and clean with. Someone to help me get the house chores done. Someone to relax with when the chores are all done. Someone to do taxes and finances with. Someone to go on last minute grocery runs and random walks with.
I don’t miss the stress of finding dates, having to make conversation, or the “does he like me or not?” worries. And as for the excitement of dressing up for dates and getting lucky, it’s all still there but better when married, imo. At least it is in my marriage.
Being married to my husband has all the fun of dating him, but so much more too.
I was with someone for years who felt like a chore (and eventually became abusive) and I thought that’s what people meant when they said being attached wasn’t fun. He’s been gone for 10 years now and I’m in my late 30s with the person who was my best friend all along, and fun is back on the menu.
I think the lack of fun is either caused by losing spontaneity when you have kids and responsibilities, or just being with the wrong person. It’s not meant to be ridiculously hard.
Not being responsible for anyone else’s happiness. You feel like drinks after work, but the spouse doesn’t? You nest head home most nights.
It’s the give and take. Their laziness or yours rubs off. You start doing stuff to keep the peace.
May seem like love, but that’s not what love is.
There is a constant scolding when they catch you eating chili cheese dogs for breakfast.
I think “fun” means the ability to make choices without factoring the feelings/concerns of a partner into the equation. At least, that’s the excuse my dad gave. One of those classic “I married too young, and missed out” types. But really, what it boiled down to, was he didn’t want to have to think about his kids or wife when choosing what to do with his life and money.
I’ve never been one for sleeping around or clubbing or any of that sort of stuff. I have my hobbies and me and my husband have stuff we do together. Even having kids, sure it’s hard and we’re a bit less spontaneous than we could be before, but as we’re quite home-body not a huge amount has changed.
Plus at 23 you can enjoy being DINK (double income, no kids) for a good long time before you need to worry about kids!
For me, it’s the not being beholden to anyone. I can eat whatever I want for dinner, never have to clean up other peoples messes, can take an impromptu weekend trip. I actually really don’t sleep around, I’m 32 and have only slept with three people since my last relationship ended a few years ago. I just like having my own time and space. I can’t imagine giving it up yet, let alone in my early 20s!
For me, post divorce, fun was doing things like drinking milk out of the carton. Relationship is compromise. Some do it well and get a lot of fulfillment out of a marriage. But even then it’s not quite as ‘free’ as being single.
Spontaneity and not having to fulfill traditional ‘wifey duties’ that lots of people expect of you and having children.
I got married at 20. It lasted 7 years. Married again 2 years later. Been married second time around 25 years. Had first kid at 22, third kid at 36. I’ve been a school mum for 25 years and counting.
The thing you miss out on that you don’t realise until you’re my age is the freedom to find out who you truly are. I’ve always been someone’s wife, someone’s mother. Always doing things for others. I have no idea who I am or what I want because it’s impossible for me to consider this without applying the lens of wife/mother. I feel sad when I see young people marry early because I know that they’re losing a part of themselves. Forever more you are putting someone else’s interests and needs before your own or at least having to consider them. I missed out on having the freedom to make choices for my life purely based on MY wants and needs. I don’t know what it’s like to do that. So that’s the “fun” I’d say you miss out on when you get married.
My advice? If you’re going to get married young and you want kids, (and this might sound counterintuitive to what I just said), have them really young. That way when you’re in your 40’s you’re free and can then travel and do what you want. I stuffed up by spacing out my kids. My oldest is 14 years older than my youngest.
Question— how long have you been fully independent from your parents (ie, not living with them, not relying on them financially)?
Don’t do it. I got married at 23 and divorced now at 40. Wait until at least your brain if fully matured.
Relationship are more obligations.
I’m 25. I’ve never been married, but I can say that when I was with the person I thought I might marry at your age I began to be afraid that it was all I was ever going to experience. We broke up at that age in part because of those fears. Also, I am an entirely different person now than I was then. I am absolutely shocked that I’ve changes as much as I have. Being single during this time has been both liberating and affirming. I don’t *need* a man for anything! But I also still long to find the love of my life. So it is a double-edged sword. I think no matter what way you spin it, these fears are overrated. I know a few people like you and I would never tell them that they are missing out. They are just experiencing life differently. If you’re happy now, follow it until you can’t anymore! You are statistically quite likely to get a divorce so you can experience all of those things you are “missing out on” later. Otherwise, it is impossible to say that you are missing out if you are happily experiencing life with your life partner.
Getting married at that age isn’t really much of a change from dating.
Having KIDS changes everything
For me, being married was a lot like being a kid again. If I wanted something, chances are I had to ask my spouse first, like I had to do with my parents. Want a pet? Gotta ask the husband. Want to go on vacation? Gotta ask the husband. Can’t just go by myself, because we were a team. Want a new piece of furniture? You guessed it.
The fun of being single is being able to do what you want without having to answer to anyone.
The probability of divorce in a decade or so is very high. Statistically people who marry your age will eventually divorce. So in your 30’s already divorce with a child or 2 in hand.. maybe that’s why you don’t see the issue now, because you’re young and filled with love and hope. Unfortunately life doesn’t work out usually that great and you have a higher chance of being a single divorce mom in 10 years, than still happy and in love with your partner. It’s not impossible, but probability higher chance of divorce.
Not just sleeping around, but also hanging out…around? Like, seeing what it’s like to be with someone else, or to be not with anyone at all, etc. If I’d married the person I wanted to marry at 23, my life would have been really different. Far more about that person and what they wanted than me and what I wanted/want. Not that they were a bad person or anything — more that I was still a bit of a blank slate, then. I didn’t really know what I wanted yet, and would have gone along for the ride.
This depends so greatly on WHO you marry.