#CuriousCat: Have you ever burned a bridge and wondered what actually happens next? 🌉 Let’s talk about it.
You hear it all the time. “Don’t burn that bridge,” they say. But really, what’s the worst that could happen? Is there a secret blacklist out there for bridge burners? 🤔
I mean, come on, does burning a bridge really have such catastrophic consequences? Or is it just another scare tactic to keep us in line? 🤷♀️
To all you brave souls who have dared to cross that burning bridge, spill the tea! What happened next? Were job opportunities suddenly non-existent? Did the sky come crashing down on you?
I ask because let’s face it, we all know someone who plays by the rules and still can’t catch a break. So, what’s the real deal with burning bridges? Enlighten us. 🔥
Don’t be shy, hit me up with your burning bridge tales. Let’s decode this mystery together. 💬✨ #BurningBridges #JobSearch #CorporateDrama
I remember my HR manager telling me that everyone would feel better if I thought things through and didn’t quit outright. I laughed at her out loud. I’m back with the company now and might have a chance to get her fired.
If you’re in a small specialised field then it really matters, there could be less than a handful of employers inside your commuting radius. So small in fact if you join a new employer you’ve probably already know / worked with 5+ people from your past jobs.
There’s usually one main (small) recruiter firm in that area placing people into such specialised field too.
I guess with this sub and related subs it’s skewed towards software devs or analysts etc they have those jobs in every company so it doesn’t matter if you burn bridges
Depends on what you mean by “burning bridges”. Leaving a company for another job with better pay/benefits etc? That’s not burning a bridge, even if you stay only a short time or whatever. But being rude or disrespectful towards someone like a colleague or boss? Yeah, don’t do that, even if you don’t like said person. And whatever you do, don’t bad mouth your former company to clients or air dirty laundry in public. An anonymous review on Glassdoor is as far as I would go.
I fuck the companies every chance I get. I never give 2 weeks of notice and if I can make more money elsewhere, I am out the door.
Look out for number 1, because that’s how the company operates
In my experience, third party recruiters don’t last much longer than 6 months. So… not much.
It’s definitely not “corporate BS”, in fact it’s common sense. It’s a small world, and if you do something to piss someone off, then you can’t really complain if they remember and it affects you. Take a hypothetical. You’re in a city that has a big presence in a particular industry. You leave one company, and you don’t handle it particularly well, to the point where your manager (or anyone else close to you) will remember the name. In the following years, you decide to change job again, going to another company in the city in the same industry. The hiring manager is good friends/colleagues with the person you slighted back then, who advises them not to hire you.
As for real world examples, there is no official list, but people talk. My wife has a pretty extensive network and is close with an internal recruiter for the company I now work for. That company is in an industry where people will bounce between companies, so a relatively small world. She’s been asked several times on whether certain people would be worth pursuing as a hire.
Just be as professional as you can be. That’s it. You might have all these movie fantasies of giving the perfect zinger on leaving, or pantsing that boss you hate, but it really isn’t worth it in the long run. Best revenge is living well.
I always say if you’re going to burn a bridge, just make sure it doesn’t lead to a place you want to return to. I’ve burned a bridge in one place in particular. I don’t care. Fuck those people. I’m never working there again.
On the other hand, I’ve had countless interns burn bridges at my firm and try to turn around and come back the following year. Can they get jobs elsewhere? Of course. There’s no secret dossier. No naughty list. But people at my firm know who they are and wouldn’t give them the time of day. And if I ever see their name across my desk, it’s an automatic no. But their careers aren’t over.
I’ve set fire to whole motherfucking buildings and pissed on the ashes. It’s been a 50/50 outcome really – some people don’t care, others did – still working in a small town and keep moving up the ladder. Frankly, most people are too invested in themselves to carry some lifelong vendetta against you, it’s too much energy. You’ll find your tribe, regardless I think. It has cost me at times, but not to the extent I’m “blacklisted”.
There ARE times when “burning a bridge” is the best course of action.
I worked for two small MSPs for a short time early in my career that were grossly unethical in conducting business. I got out as soon as I could and I refused to hire anyone who was in any sort of leadership role at either company. When asked for an MSP recommendation by a small business, I gave them my recommendation plus advising them to steer clear of those 2 organizations. They were also the only two companies I ever took the time to write up bad Google and Glassdoor reviews. I also stopped including them on my resume’, I preferred to explain the gap in employment than ever admit to working there.
You’ll find people on both ends of this spectrum, it’s not hard and fast.
For example, a recruiter in my old company told me on day four that “sometimes you’ve just got to play office politics” which was code for “you basically do as I tell you”…I snorted in her face and said do I fuck. Since then I’ve been blanket rejected from every application to said company I’ve made. This was despite leaving a DIFFERENT role, a year later, full notice served and left on good terms. That’s a bridge that got napalm bombed clearly.
That said. The role I’m in at the moment literally rejected me because of a minor customer revolt (small world kinda job, they hold more power than they should) and was actively put as do not hire on my file., now I’m back and basically running the joint. So that one clearly didn’t matter.
It just depends on value/need/etc, for the MOST part when they say that, they’re being stupid. But there’s always a chance to roll low.
YMMV. I work in a specialized field and have at times taken on the role of the hiring manager and yes, we have absolutely rejected candidates because someone in the company knew someone who knew someone who had worked with that person and who shared stories of them being a dick.
I think when it really comes bit you in the ass is when you reach certain age/seniority level. In my niche there’s a lot of engineers in their 40s who can’t find anything but poorly paid, short-term freelance work because they’ve burnt through so many companies that no one will hire them. Some of them are excellent on a technical level, too, but they’re too much of a liability to hire them. Occasionally you’ll hear they got hired by a company that took a chance on them only to fire them again before the 6-month mark because they’re more trouble than they’re worth.
In other fields that aren’t this small it probably won’t matter that much.
It really depends on the company and people I work with.. If the boss is a prick for doing shady sheit. You bet your azz imma burn all the bridges. Putting 2 weeks or not does not make a difference to me, but with great co workers and bosses? I’d giv’em heads up and help as much as I can before I leave.
Depends on the job and the community
I generally a manipulation tactic imo
It’s just the difference between possibly having someone on your side down the road and not. I have a lot of places I could have been bitter towards and reacted accordingly to, but I never have. And it turns out, I’ve been grateful more than once to be able to have used those people as references.
I used to work in the Middle East in oil and gas on the client side. My boss had a run in with one guy on a different continent about 10 years prior and he wasn’t approved for the project.
Once had a new manager who was horrible and tried everything to make eveyones work day unbearable.
Left of course, then years later i own my own business in the same industry and he came in for an interview ( i didn’t see the resumes beforehand) 🤣 he diden’t get the job.
How’s this?
Once, at work, someone came up to me, on her BlackBerry, and proceeded to tear me a new one in front of four co-workers. Then she left. She never took her eyes off her screen. One of my four co-workers said, “I can’t believe she did that.” Another chimed in, “That’s one of the most unprofessional things I’ve ever seen.”
At another job, my boss cornered me in my cubicle and started shouting at me for a project screw up. After about 15 seconds I realized she was talking about a project for which I had had not one single, solitary lick of involvement in. I said as much. “I didn’t work on that. Not in the least.” Turns out she had meant to go to the cubicle next to mine.
Both those people burned their bridges with me. If I ever end up in a position of authority with them under me, I will get rid of them as soon as I can. “Why are you laying me off?” “Remember when you tried to humiliate me in front of four people and couldn’t even extend the basic courtesy of looking at me while you did it? I can’t have someone as unprofessional as you on my team. You’re a liability.” “Remember when you actually had me afraid for my own safety because you needed to scream at me in a cubicle? I can’t let someone that erratic anywhere near this department. You’re a liability.”
You won’t always know if a burned bridge screws you over in the future. Usually if you work in a specific industry and don’t move at some point someone will know someone you worked with. I’ve seen HM reach out to people they know for insight into an applicants work.
Also people always think they are “screwing the company” for leaving abruptly but most of the time you are just screwing the immediate people you work with.
If you are talking like u work as a cashier at McDonald’s I don’t think it will matter.
Ultimately it’s up to you. If the job is a career position I wouldn’t unless staying the 2 weeks is going to cause some harm to you mentally.
If you leave normally (2 weeks notice, don’t shit talk the place unless truly messed up stuff was going down that HR needs to know) then it’s maintaining a bridge.
Depending on the company / industry / location it can be a smart move to leave normally. Word can get around and can impact your future opportunities.
But there are times it truly does not matter. Burn away, this place is just a blip on your life radar.
You stop putting them down as a reference lol
Personally I always try to build bridges and never burn them… Ive only burned 3/9 employers so far… 1st one was a layoff and the CEO said that I was the lowest performing teammember but also that they foresaw this coming when they hired me because I was “too young and naive” lol! While in truth they poached me and then lowballed the shit out of me…
Second one was a journalism job (I would say I burned the employment bridge), but got great references and future work from people in that office
Third was Walmart, FUCK WALMART. (I can give the 100s of reasons but would rather not).
Otherwise I walk into any of the 6 employers I used to work for asking for a job they’ll offer me one on the spot (whether they can or cannot afford it), because 1, they know my work ethics (Im never late, always submit my deliverables on time, will go above and beyond just to see a smile on the other person’s face) and 2 our bridges are as solid as the roman’s temples.
(UK) companies basically can’t give bad references here – the most they can do is confirm your job title, and the dates you worked there, unless you got fired for gross misconduct anything else they can say is personal opinion and if it stops you getting a job you can – potentially – sue them.
THAT SAID, it’s much more common for this to happen:
“Hey x, y just interviewed for a job here and you both worked together at z, what were they like?”
“Absolute dickhead, if they come to work here I’m quitting” or “They’re brilliant, we work together so well it’s like we’re sharing a brain”
“Alright then, that’s them binned/hired”
So, with HR departments it’s a bit of a School Permanent Record situation, but with the people you’re working with/your managers it’s very real.
I work in the games industry.
I friend of mine mentioned his boss was interviewing someone I had worked with before.
I mentioned how this person was terrible to work with and burned a bridge with me.
My friend told his boss, and thr cancelled the interview.
This shit does happen, especially in small specialized fields.
If you work in a niche role where most people know other people in that role it’s a good idea to not burn any bridges. The warehouse laborer on the other hand can take a dump on the boss’s chair and flip everyone on the way out and still get a job somewhere else doing the same job.
I worked with someone that was in a small, tight knit community job. She screwed our employer over and never worked in that particular industry again. She does have a job, but in a completely different field that probably doesn’t pay as much. She burned her bridge and at the same time burned all the bridges in the area as people talk.
There was a guy that got hired and he worked before for the org on the HR file it literally said under performed etc.. not looking good
he still got the job hahaha we were like all wtf HR said it was not an issue
remember it works both ways too, there are people if they show up in a place I want to work that I will NOT work with them anymore at all
I think as a general rule you shouldn’t burn bridges. What do you really get out of some sort of act of disrespect or calling people out or whatever? Yea I get it you may be leaving a toxic workplace but who cares you’re already leaving and nothing you say/do really matters to them anyway.
If I can maintain good or at least cordial relations with my former employers and coworkers why not? You never know who might be in a room where your name is brought up.
The only thing I have to add is a simple Disney phrase: It’s a small world after all. You NEVER know who knows who. You could “Half Baked” quit your last job, and find out 3 years later that the area manager from that company was college roommates with your potential company’s HR director.
If you burn a bridge at your local McDonald’s it may not hurt you much in the short-term, but people aren’t sims. Everyone that you just flipped off could know someone that bites you in the ass eventually.
Unfortunately it also really depends on market conditions and need.
Good example, I would say Steve Jobs did “burn a bridge” when he left/got pushed out of Apple…but the need was there so we can see how it turned out.
Currently the power has shifted back to the companies, so you have to play nice for a bit likely. But can be very situational.
I tried to not burn bridges but corporate don’t care. I rejected a big telecom internship offer like 8 yrs ago to this days even with a referral it is an instant rejection.
I burned a bridge with my last company after the HR lady fired me under suspicious circumstances (long story), but then it actually ended up kind of working out in my favor because she got fired soon after for mishandling the situation. I have no idea how or if this will impact me in the future, but I have no intention of working for any of those people ever again. My boss was also on my side and has been giving me positive references since.
I will say that some companies do background checks and will contact each of your past employers asking if you’re eligible for rehire, in which case they will say no. In my experience, *most* employers do not do these kinds of background checks, but you just never know.
A company I worked for belonged to one corporation made up of multiple companies and they merged with another similarly organized corporation years ago. For the initial corp I suspect I was put on an ineligible for rehire type list after leaving. I’ve never been able to confirm or deny it. When they merged with the other corp all of a sudden my applications to any company under the new corporate umbrella were being insta denied and they used the same application process as my previous corp so I feel confident that ineligible for rehire carried over. In my immediate area in my field they are the single largest employer as well as in my entire state with all of the subsequent companies under their overall corporate umbrella. Unfortunately Im very sure I will never be able to work for another company under that overarching umbrella because I roasty toasted a bridge with one specific company. I feel it’s wildly unfair that decisions I made almost 6 years ago now bar me from thousands of jobs across multiple employers in my area but Actions have consequences and I hope theres a statute of limitations on mine. So basically play nice, do what you’re supposed to, show up, get paid, and go home. You don’t have to submit to the rat race but it doesn’t do you any favors to give yourself a black eye.
It only happened to me once and way back in the 80’s. The little shop I was working at had some IRS difficulties and since it was a crazy long commute (Stafford VA to Gaithersburg MD via the American Legion Bridge), I looked for a job and was out by the weekend.
A year or so later, when the new place’s owner headed to Florida with the business funds after a scumbag lawyer tried to screw him over, I was looking and the hiring manager said he was a friend of the previous owner (where I’d headed out) and that he’d never hire me.
(The business actually got a write-up in PC Magazine for the computer innovation. The owner hooked up with a lawyer who promised him funding and the owner started on expansion plans. However the lawyer was a scum and his plan was to fake the funding, have the shop go under, and the lawyer would buy the company on the cheap. I lost a couple of paychecks trying to stick around to the end but I also kept a laptop I was on a payment plan for so it wasn’t a total loss.)
Nothing. Thankfully due to capitalism, there are infinite opportunities out there. Every company acts like they’re the most important player on earth. The reality is, they’re all cookie cutter versions of each other.
I left a company in the best way I possibly could. I was a teacher and did leave mid year…but aside from that negative:
I gave 3 weeks notice.
I communicated with everyone.
I even let my boss know why! (I was burnt out and couldn’t teach anymore. Plus a lot more)
We even have a kid that still goes to the school and I emphatically said that she’d be staying. It’s a great environment for her, but not for me.
I work a much better job now. Make more than I could ever have hoped to do as a teacher, better QOL. I tried to come back to the school and start an internship with my company because it could be a great opportunity for a kid.
They said no.
Someone had left a bad review online, and it must have been me. It wasn’t.
They didn’t care. So a bridge was burnt even though I did it “right”.
People will be salty if they want to be.
I accepted a job while waiting for the job I really wanted. I got the job I wanted and told the other company I was backing out. I got a strongly worded email and figured that was one company I’d never work for and that’s ok. I now work for that company after multiple recruiters reached out to me with job openings. It’s all bull shit
Well, I had two coworkers, one quit and burned the bridge by badmouthing her manager to hr, which then became an open secret to everyone at the workplace. Then that manager quit and they now work in a different company together. Apart from having awkward social interactions they’re both fine, but they don’t work directly with each other, just in the same company.
Ooh, I forgot! That same manager prevented another of our coworkers (who was at a higher position than them at our place) from getting a job at that new company, because they had beef and the manager gave a really bad feedback when asked by the recruiting team if they should hire the former coworker.