#CustodyIssues #LegalGuardianship #ChildWelfare #ParentingChallenges
Hey there! It sounds like you’re in a tough situation with your ex-wife’s 8-year-old daughter being left behind. It’s great to hear that you’re looking out for her best interests and trying to figure out the next steps. Here are some actionable steps and advice to consider:
### Seek Legal Guidance
It’s important to understand your legal rights and options in this situation. Consider consulting with a family law attorney who can provide guidance on obtaining guardianship or temporary custody for the 8-year-old. They can help navigate the legal process and ensure the child’s well-being is prioritized.
### Communicate with Ex-Wife
Try to have a frank discussion with your ex-wife about the situation and the importance of securing guardianship for her daughter. Express your concerns and the need for her cooperation in this matter. Discuss the potential consequences of not taking action for the child’s future.
### Explore Alternative Options
If your ex-wife continues to be uncooperative, consider reaching out to other family members who may be able to provide support or assistance. Involving your ex-wife’s mother, even though there may not be a strong relationship, could potentially lead to a solution that benefits the child.
### Prioritize Child’s Well-Being
Above all else, focus on the well-being and safety of the 8-year-old. Evaluate all possible outcomes and choose the option that ensures her stability and security. Consider the impact of involving child welfare services and weigh the pros and cons of each decision carefully.
### Seek Support
Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or professionals who can provide guidance and emotional support during this challenging time. You’re not alone in this situation, and having a support system can make a big difference.
I hope these suggestions help guide you in handling this delicate situation with care and compassion. Remember to prioritize the child’s needs and work towards a resolution that ensures her safety and security. Stay strong, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed. 🌟
You should have contacted the police and CPS a year ago, stating the child’s been abandoned, and went through the legal process to gain custody. With you being willing to be a guardian, as well as having custody of the child’s siblings, CPS would have been likely to keep her in your care. But right now, nothing stops the mother from showing up and disrupting the child’s life after having abandoned her for a year.
I’m not a social worker, just a medical assistant in a federally qualified healthcare center (low income clinic)… a lot of my job is social work and i’ve seen your situation unfortunately, many times.
Family services isnt going to want to remove the 8 year old from a home she’s established in, with her siblings and her step father who wants to care for her. Since she’s safe and theres no abuse concern, it’s cheaper and easier for the state to keep her in your care.
Call family services and let them know whats going on. They can help you get the paperwork sorted out. Keep her school in the loop.
Thank you for not abandoning her, this has to be so hard on her. Give her a big hug on my behalf.
Everything everyone else is saying, to add if you haven’t already you should also file for child support from your ex-wife for all 3 kids
Contact a family law professional and see what you need to do.
NAL. I would first & foremost, contact a Family Law attorney. They know better than anyone what your options are concerning the 8 yo, and how to get full, legal custody of all the children. Chances are, you will end up with custody, but you, and the court, will have to do it the correct way, which will include trying to locate the biological father.
One of my nephews recently adopted his non-biological grandson. He & his late wife (biological grandmother) had had physical custody since the day his was born. Biomom tested positive for meth & cocaine, so lost her rights almost immediately. (She had also lost her rights to two older children.) After hs wife lost her battle with cancer, CPS agreed to allow great nephew to remain with his “dad”. Nephew jumped through all the hoops, which requires lots of patience, including trying to find who they thought was the biological father. In the end, great nephew has lots of benefits through his state because of the hoops.
So, it is possible you can get custody of your stepdaughter and may possibly be able to adopt her. Only an attorney can help with that to protect your interests.
I also suggest you read up on the family code for NY state. Google any terms you don’t understand. You want to pay particular attention to parental abandonment, custody of a nonbiological child, and child support. This is for your edification & because attorneys don’t always know everything.
Keep your home tidy & clean. Make sure you have plenty of healthy food & snacks. Your home can be “lived in” but clean.
Good luck & let us know how it goes.
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> If she goes into care in NYC she’s almost certainly going to get passed from predator to predator.
I’m sorry OP, but this is a disgusting take. I’ve personally worked with loads of kids in the foster system, and it is horrifying that you’d just assume that people who take in kids are “predators.” Fucking hell.
As for the rest of your question, you should call the police and CPS, provided that you’re not able to effectively communicate with the mother. In many events, this missive usually gets people moving.
Your heart is in the right place, but you should know, once LEO gets involved there are things that they’re not allow to ignore, including the fact that a child is effectively abandoned, even if they have a roof and bed.
You can also, however, work with CPS to get the child placed with you.
EDIT – I am an attorney licensed in NYS.
I agree that you should contact family services. I’d also like to say that you are a wonderful person and even if you aren’t the biological dad, you are a great father and likely the best parent that this child will ever know.
I would get a lawyer and go from there. Tell them everything and get guardianship of this little girl! And if you don’t have full custody of the twins then I’d do so. I’m not sure if your ex wants anything to do with any of them! Your an amazing person for raising the twins by yourself but wanting to take in the older one is a wonderful thing! Wishing you all the very best!
You seems like a good dude. Good luck
You’ve been this child’s stepfather and only father figure for at least 3 years? Probably more like 5-6? The only father she has ever known; she doesn’t remember a time before you were in her life.
I would say just start thinking of her as your daughter and fight to adopt her fully. She deserves your full love!
Think about what the child would want. What your children would want. I’d imagine your toddlers are pretty attached to her? They’d be devastated if she left to foster or a relative she doesn’t know.
Write down and keep track of everything she has done. Don’t count on remembering things. You have a much better chance of custody if you can have documentation to show.
You need legal advice from lawyer who specializes in family law. Start there. They can represent you.
This is not related to legal advice but your wife was back at her job one month after giving birth to twins and also drinking? That sounds like a really bad set up for a post partum mom. Sorry for your situation and glad the kids have you.
She picks up your other two kids 20% of the time but doesn’t pick up the elder daughter during that time?
How terrible. I’m glad you’re willing to treat your former step daughter like a daughter and keep her with her sisters.
I don’t know anything about anything but I think you need to get a custody agreement for all the kids that reflects the reality of your life. Start making records for everyday that she refuses her time and go back as far as you can remember. The judge will hopefully conclude that you be granted guardianship during that process.
Call COS and report the abandonment. They will keep the kid in your home since you are amenable to, and help take care of paperwork for guardianship.
Here’s what you do: Thank yourself for loving the little girl enough to keep her. She has a p.o.s for a Mom and it’s not her fault. You are doing the right thing. All that matters in this world are those kids and you are a hero for caring for and loving them all . One day your sacrifice and love will be rewarded. Absolutely call Grandma on both sides for help. Contact the biological Dad and tell them all what is happening and that they can and should help with the new arrangements. If Mom thinks she can pull this crap she is kidding herself. Get the division of family service involved and reach out for guidance and help. Also call the cops and report the Mother for abandoning her daughter. Stop being nice to that heartless b!tch. Keep all your kids together, they are worth it and so precious…