#bereavement #loss #grief #funeralplanning #estateplanning #familymatters
🌟 Losing a loved one is a difficult and emotional time, and knowing what steps to take next can be overwhelming. If you’re feeling lost and unsure of what to do after your father’s passing, it’s essential to seek guidance and support. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you navigate through this challenging time and make the necessary arrangements.
Contact the Necessary Authorities and Professionals
1. Contact the hospital or medical examiner: If your father passed away in a medical facility or at home, you need to notify the appropriate medical authorities. They will assist you in obtaining the death certificate, which is a vital document for legal matters.
2. Get in touch with a funeral home: Reach out to a funeral home to make arrangements for your father’s final resting place. They can guide you through the process of planning a funeral or memorial service that honors your father’s memory.
3. Notify family and friends: Inform close family members and friends about your father’s passing to ensure that they are aware and can provide support during this time.
Address Legal and Financial Matters
4. Locate important documents: Gather essential documents, such as your father’s will, insurance policies, and any financial records. These documents will play a crucial role in settling your father’s estate.
5. Contact an estate attorney: Consider seeking legal advice from an estate attorney to help navigate through the legal aspects of your father’s estate and ensure that his wishes are carried out appropriately.
6. Notify relevant organizations: Contact your father’s employer, financial institutions, and any other relevant organizations to inform them of his passing and make necessary arrangements.
Seek Emotional Support and Guidance
7. Join a support group: Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can provide comfort and understanding during this challenging time. Consider joining a grief support group to share your feelings and experiences with others.
8. Talk to a therapist: If you find yourself struggling to cope with your father’s passing, reaching out to a therapist or counselor can help you process your emotions and navigate through the grieving process.
Remember, it’s okay to seek help and support during this difficult time. Surround yourself with loved ones, reach out to professionals when needed, and take care of yourself as you navigate through the grieving process. You are not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this journey.
I am sorry about your Dad.
First, find the will and see what needs to be done with his estate. If you don’t understand it, call a lawyer.
Second, pay the mortgage until you can get the place cleaned up to sell it. It would hire a service that does very deep cleaning, even the bio-hazard type cleaning (it may be dirtier than you are thinking). He has savings, so use that money. Luckily you have access to his bank accounts.
Third, pay his bills until you can cancel them (like utilities). Sell the car. He has savings, use that money to pay the bills.
Fourth, notify social security and his pension plan. You can call your local social security office and they will guide you.
Just take your time, it will all work out. But do get started as it is a lot to manage.
I’m so sorry.
Your options are:
– Lawyer (estate specialist)
– Wealth manager (flat fee not % worked for me)
– Financial Advisor (to invest what’s left)
Good luck to you and condolences.
Sorry for your lost . First plan his funeral. Second see if he had a will. If he did have one whoever he named executor handles all the things you mentioned with his estate after the will is filed with the probate or surrogate’s court.
If there is no will you have file with the the court to named executor.
Sorry for your loss. Plan his funeral/memorial service if he wanted one. You will need copies of the death certificate. Lots of copies. You will need to notify the SSA, his pension plan, file for his life insurance (if he has any), get named the executor (if he doesn’t have a will with one named), file death certificates with his creditors, the bank, his brokerage accounts, etc. you just got another part time job for the next 6-8 months.
You can hire an estate attorney if you think you need one, if he doesn’t have a will and you have siblings, he has an ex-wife, step children, etc you need one…
There’s no good path forward, just work. It’s good though because it will keep you busy and your mind from being in a dark place.
Sorry for your loss. If you want the easiest way without any headaches, get the death certificate and the will and bring that to his bank(s) to notify them and then go to an estate lawyer and let them handle probate. This is exactly what I did. Yes it did cost money but at the time when my father passed last year I was in absolutely no condition to deal with it myself. I also had a family member (his sister) endlessly harassing me for half of his money (of which she was not entitled to at all).
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The reason I suggest just using a lawyer is because it makes it so you don’t really have to do any work and get the time to grieve and spend time reflecting.
Condolences on the loss of your father. Great tips here, and I just wanted you to know add: get several certified copies of thr death certificate- you will need it to show banks, the phone company, and myriad other entities that your father has truly passed. Best to you.
First off, calm down….these are fixable situations. Next, if you are joint on his accounts, they are now yours. Perhaps paying his mortgage would be a good interim use, to keep out of foreclosure. Then, notify SSA, as they get nasty about collecting SSI after a death. Pension may have a contingent beneficiary clause, but you have same issue there. Lastly, unless you want house, I would interview a local realtor or two, letting them walk thru and offer suggestions about what needs to be addressed to get on market, as well as values. Is there a will? Good luck!
Just an fyi since you are also on his bank account you can access that money now for his funeral and his final expenses.
Sorry about your father. You didn’t specify what government organization was paying the pension. If the government pension was for a U.S. civilian worker, you can find information on how to notify the government of his passing here: [Notify OPM](https://www.opm.gov/frequently-asked-questions/insure-faq/life/how-do-i-report-the-death-of-an-annuitant/#:~:text=Please%20report%20it%20at%20www,%3A00pm%20(Eastern%20Time))
If the pension is for U.S. Military, you can find information needed to report his passing here:
[https://www.dfas.mil/retiredmilitary/survivors/retiree-death/](https://www.dfas.mil/retiredmilitary/survivors/retiree-death/)
For Social Security, you can call 1-800-772-1213. That number provides access to an automated system that is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Here’s a link to the relevant SS information:
[https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10008.pdf](https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10008.pdf)
Breathe. Drink some water.
Call a funeral home and they will fill in all the blanks you currently have.
You can get to the papers and estate after but right now, focus on your wellbeing, your grief, and the basics of the funeral
If he was not married and you have no siblings, then you can use his funds to continue to pay the mortgage and bills so that nothing gets behind in payments. Keep good records. If he was married or you have siblings, then you need to communicate with them so that no one feels money is being spent in secret. Ultimately a judge will appoint an executor who will dispose of the estate. This can be you or a sibling or an attorney. I went through all this two years ago when my dad passed and it was not as hard as you might think. I had a one-hour conversation with an attorney and he explained the process. I went to court and did all the actual work myself based on the instructions from the attorney. I could have hired the attorney to do everything for $300 an hour, but he suggested I save the money and do it myself.
Sorry for your loss. Take a bit of time to grieve before you tackle anything if you haven’t already done so. The funeral is all you really need to worry about at first because pretty much everything else requires obtaining death certificates. And the funeral home will usually wait a bit for payment particularly if they know there was life insurance.
Do not pay any of his bills out of your own money, especially medical bills or credit cards. Those will be paid eventually out of the assets of his estate provided there is enough to cover them which is sounds like there will probably be enough. The mortgage can be paid out of the joint banking account, which is now yours.
The funeral home should have a checklist of things to do.
There are companies who specialize in cleaning out houses of belongings. Consider hiring one of them after you go through and decide what to keep. Cleaning out a full house takes a ton of time and with a newborn at home you probably shouldn’t take that on. They are pretty quick and the sooner it is cleared out, the sooner it can be put on the market.
Social security (and probably his government pension) will retract any extra payments made after the date of his passing.
Things you should be looking for if you don’t have them are a copy of his will and contact info on any life insurance policies.
So sorry for your loss. First, some basic concept. Some money goes directly to his beneficiaries; for example, life insurance, an IRA, a 401k, possibly that jointly owned bank account. Everything else he own becomes part of his “estate” (what he used to own), and is used to pay off debts and what’s left is distributed, either according to his will if he had one, or by the laws of the state if not (usually his wife and children). Expect his estate to take a year or more to all get settled, especially if a house needs to be cleared and sold. Accounts with beneficiaries should be much, much faster.
You don’t pay any of his bills: his estate does. So you personally should not pay his mortgage. Contact the lender and tell them he has died. Eventually once the house is sold they’ll recoup the money they lent him. They’ll tell you what to do next. Do keep electricity, sewer and water on, and contact the property tax people also to tell them he died.
To clear out the house, you can hire a company that handles estate sales, if he has items that are likely to be worth selling. They can hold a giant garage sale in his house. The proceeds are split between you and them. Google estate sales in his town, have someone come out to evaluate. Or, you could go and clear the house and try to sell or donate anything worth it, and trash the rest. Or you can hire someone who will take everything and trash (most of it) and sell whatever they think they can make money out of. You have to pay this person. You can hire a real estate agent in his town to sell the house. They can help you find these people. Once it’s clear, they might recommend VERY basic work on the house (painting, fixing anything obviously very broken) if the cost of doing this will sufficiently increase the value of the house. They’ll help you find people who will do this work. (This is all assuming you’re the executor who is responsible to do all this).
Sorry for your loss. My parents both passed a few years ago depending if they have a will. His intentions will be known. For starters with the house certain amount are exempt when sell the house some estate can be charged taxes after hitting the threshold of 5 million.. I worry if there is no will. The creditor until probate court have get a notice from the estate in the newspapers the creditors have 90 days to claim there bills if they do not with in the 90 days they are sol with the bills. What happens after the funeral get the death certificate from funeral directors. You have put the account in escrow account where it all accounted for a lawyer will help you. If executor way the pro and cons of the house. If you are only relative than it will be easy but if you have other relatives claiming on the property than you have figure if they can buy you ought or if you sell equally. After the house is sold you will get a certificate that you have show on your taxes and that after probate. Any life insurance you get soon but you do not have pay taxes. Only thing you pay taxes on is 401 k and stocks I would suggest roll it over. Some 401 k you have do automatic withdrawal and you could be paying 30 percent tax. Get a estate and family planning lawyer and only deal with them when important otherwise you be charged $200 an hour or more. Again just be grateful your father loves you and you get a inheritance. I suggest also do not tell anyone except your wife of the windfall many greedy people will try take advantage of you. And will feel entitled to your father estate and propose to start business or thinking it there when it not. I am saying this because many of my former friends scammed me and it sad that you want be there for you but not what you can offer
Losing a parent is never easy, but did you say he was 85 years old in poor health with dementia and this was “unexpected”?
Sorry for your loss. You will have a lot of little jobs, errands, things to do. They might seem impossible at the time. Remember you are grieving. Simple things will get complicated because of your trauma. Be strong. It might seem all the companies and employees are not capable and you will get frustrated. Delegate tasks if you can. It will get overwhelming. In the middle of it all remember your father. Honor him. Think about the good times and how he formed you to be a survivor. Do not give up. Estate sales are thing that sometimes help out for money.
Don’t tell the bank he died. At least in my jurisdiction, even if you’re joint, they’ll lock the account until the estate is settled.
So sorry for your loss. A living trust avoids all of the fees associated with probate and estates, hopefully your Dad had one. Either way you will need an attorney that specializes in settling estates to help you sort things out. I would quickly more his cash into your separate account. Take an accounting of all his assets.
Use his money to settle the estate, get a dumpster to empty out junk or have an estate sale company come in and assess the value of his stuff.
If you are overwhelmed with the prospect of fixing up the house to sell, there are realty firms that specialize in doing repairs and cosmetic fixes for you. You will need to have the real estate appraised to establish the value of the property at the time of death. No rush on the appraisal. I suggest clearing the house out and fixing it up since a higher appraised value becomes your basis. When you sell if for the appraised value you will pay no taxes. You will only pay taxes on the excess. The funeral home that you use will help you get death certificates, I would suggest getting at least 5. Then you can notify social security and whoever else needs to be notified like the DMV or his pension plan. Try not to be overwhelmed, eventually everything will find its place.
Did he name an executor? They are normally the first person to contact.
Do not tell any creditor of your father’s that you will make the payments on his accounts. His debts become your debts if you do bc you will have made a verbal contract to pay them. His life insurance is for his funeral, not to pay other bills. Contact the social security administration, too. I’m sorry for your loss. Best wishes.
This is going to be a process so don’t feel like you have to do it all at once. First, funeral and/or burial/cremation. Obtain 5-7 copies of the death certificate.
Secure all the financial paperwork you can find.
Take some time to reflect and mourn your loss.
If his belongings are worth anything, consider an estate sale. Let people come thru and buy his stuff. Don’t be particular, take whatever they offer because otherwise you’re paying someone else to haul it away.
Rent a dumpster and remove everything that can’t be sold. Have the house deep cleaned, lawn mowed, etc.
Did he have a will? If so, contact a probate attorney in your area who can walk you through that process. The designated personal representative will be the one to execute the sale of the house and settlement of any debts etc. If there is no will, the probate attorney can advise you on next steps.
Expect it to take a year or more to do all this.
Sorry for your loss.
Unless you have been named Executor or Personal Representative (Will) or Successor Trustee (Trust) I don’t see where you have anything to do yet.
Does he have a will in his state of residence? If so, contact the lawyer who prepared it, they will be very helpful. My parents’ attorney prepared theirs and she handled everything when I lost my mom. We had to pay a retainer for her services.
First of all, I’m so very sorry you lost your dad. I think no matter how elderly or sick they are it’s always a shock.
The first thing you should do is find yourself a good estate attorney. They will walk you through what needs to be done and also get you to a CPA or accountant that can help you with the Estate taxes. I suggest getting referrals from people you know in your area who have recently been through it.
You might be okay since you are on his bank accounts. I think since you are on them you can avoid probate? You will need to contact Social Security and give them his death certificate. You can hire an auction company to come in, categorize and sell off the items in the house, they can do this pretty quickly. And hire a real estate agent who is good with Estate property.
You might have to take some time off from work and though your wife just had a new baby, I’m sure she is capable of helping you some?
Again, I’m so sorry and I know it’s difficult but you will get through this.
My condolences. My mom passed last year and we are still dealing with her estate but I wanted to add on to something someone said. If you haven’t already, don’t tell his bank that he’s passed. My mom added my brother and I as joint owners and once we told them she’d passed, her credit union froze her account and wouldn’t let us access any money for weeks. Luckily the company she retired from had a complimentary life insurance that covered more than enough for her burial expenses.