#StrangeThingsDoctorsSay #UnusualDoctorStatements #MedicalAnomalies
🏥 What was the strangest thing a doctor has ever said to you? 🤔
We’ve all had our fair share of odd encounters with medical professionals. Whether it’s a peculiar diagnosis or a bizarre comment, some doctors have a way of leaving us scratching our heads. Let’s delve into some of the most bizarre things doctors have said to their patients.
### Unusual Diagnoses: When the Doctor Leaves You Stumped
1. **”You have a rare case of ‘Alien Hand Syndrome'”**
– Imagine being told that your hand has a mind of its own! Alien Hand Syndrome is a real medical condition where a person’s hand acts independently, often making unpredictable movements.
2. **”You’re allergic to the sun”**
– Sunlight is a common trigger for many skin conditions, but being told you have an actual allergy to the sun can be quite perplexing. This rare condition, known as solar urticaria, causes hives and itching within minutes of sun exposure.
3. **”You have ‘Exploding Head Syndrome'”**
– No, it’s not a science fiction plot. Exploding Head Syndrome is a real disorder where a person experiences loud, imaginary noises in their head while falling asleep or waking up.
### Peculiar Precautions: When the Doctor Leaves You Bewildered
1. **”Avoid eating bananas on Tuesdays”**
– Yes, you read that right. Some patients have been advised to steer clear of bananas on specific days of the week due to interactions with certain medications or personal health factors.
2. **”No swimming for 72 hours after receiving the flu shot”**
– While it may sound far-fetched, some doctors recommend refraining from swimming for a few days post-flu shot to minimize the risk of infection at the injection site.
3. **”Limit your social media use for a speedy recovery”**
– In today’s digital age, this recommendation may sound unusual, but studies have shown that excessive screen time can hinder the healing process and contribute to emotional distress.
### Curious Commentary: When the Doctor Leaves You Chuckling
1. **”You have a case of ‘text neck’ from excessive smartphone use”**
– As technology becomes more integrated into our daily lives, doctors are increasingly diagnosing patients with neck pain and strain attributed to prolonged usage of smartphones and other devices.
2. **”Your laughter is the best medicine”**
– While this may not be a conventional medical statement, research has shown that laughter can have positive effects on health by reducing stress, boosting the immune system, and even relieving pain.
3. **”You have a ‘twitchy’ eye from too much caffeine”**
– Caffeine is known to rev up the nervous system, and excessive consumption can lead to various symptoms, including muscle twitches and spasms, even in the eye. Cutting back on caffeine intake can help alleviate this peculiar ailment.
In conclusion, the world of medicine is full of surprises, and sometimes, the things doctors say can be just as unexpected as the conditions they treat. From peculiar diagnoses to curious precautions to lighthearted commentary, these unusual encounters with medical professionals serve as a reminder of the complexity and diversity of the human body and mind. So, the next time you find yourself bewildered by a doctor’s statement, remember that in the world of medicine, the strange, the unusual, and the unexpected often go hand in hand with the pursuit of healing and wellness. After all, as they say, truth can be stranger than fiction.
“Sometimes when I eat eggs they give me diarrhea”
An older doctor was examining my breasts because they were lumpy and it concerned me. The doctor said ‘wow! Your breasts are just like my wifes … er I mean you both have fibrocystic breasts.’ He blushed and I just laughed.
“Do you think super heroes are circumcised? Superman? Plastic man?”
As I was getting circumcised. Made me think hard about it though.
“your guess is as good as mine”
I’m split between (both were female doctors):
“Could you move them (my balls) out of the way?”
or
“Sorry to lay on you, but I have a better access in this position”.
“Get back on that horse” (after I miscarried).
Proctologist inserting camera: let me know when this feels good
Several years ago I saw a therapist and when I mentioned suicidal thoughts to him he pulled his phone out and opened up his Facebook to show me some inspirational memes he recently shared because idk, I guess he thought they were so profound they would cure me lol
I asked him what a long acronym “FUE” the ocular oncologist wrote meant, he tried to pronounce it, shrugged, and said “We’ll just call it Fucked Up Eye”. It’s been called that ever since.
During the same weird cancer episode, a neurologist said my brain was “unremarkable”. I mean, he’s right in so many ways, but I was delighted to hear it.
She said I was a healthy person with lots of medical problems
My gynecologist said I had a “textbook cervix” and I’m still riding that high
-To stockpile my unused prescription meds instead of disposing of them because one day I might need to trade them for food or ammo.
-Eat more Wonder Bread.
I saw a specialist following a serious arm injury. He looked me up and down, glancing at my pink and blonde hair, and muttered with an eyebrow raised, “Huh. That’s an… interesting color.”
This wouldn’t be at all strange if his own hair wasn’t BRIGHT BLUE.
I told my doctor that I was concerned about my drinking. He asked why. I said I drank alone. He said “well so do I, that’s pretty normal”, then I went on to explain how I did it quite often and always to the point of getting drunk, to which he replied “well whats the point of drinking if you’re not going to get drunk?”. I was in my early 20s and left there relieved thinking that my habits were fine and carried on. Almost 10 years later I really wish he’d taken me seriously.
I hurt my knee recently and my doctor went from telling me that “Yeah everyone’s climbed into thier yard waste bin and it’s tipped over. Been there myself” then he figured out I was on blood thinners and did a complete 180 to “You definitely shouldn’t be doing that!…..” and then started detailing why.
Told me my vertebra looked like someone put a saltine cracker on the floor and stepped on it.
He was right, but that’s not exactly something I wanted to hear in that moment.
I broke my arm in 3 places in 4th grade. The doctor asked me if I wanted to have any pain meds before they set my arm and immediately warned me that it’d be through a huge needle that would hurt as much as setting my arm. So I passed on the pain meds and then passed out from the pain when they yanked on my arm to straighten it out.
Doctors in the 70s acted like pain meds were made out of gold
I had an MRI of my knee. Doc said two things that were unusual.
“I’ve never seen them use the word macerated to describe someone’s knee before.”
And
“How did you break your leg?” (I was not aware that I had broken my leg)
We got your blood work back and it turns out that you’re a Type 1 Diabetic!
I responded with “yes, for the last 15 years, thank goodness I came to see a specialist”
I had a female doctor bend me over and stick her finger up my butt to check my prostate. When she was done she said “Your prostate is absolutely wonderful! No enlargement at all. It’s absolutely fantastic! GOOD FOR YOU!”
She did this with the same voice and look on her face that one would give to someone who just performed a symphonic masterpiece. I felt so accomplished.
I’m sorry she left the practice.
Him – Sir you have no ACL I have no idea how you’re walking, or wrestling, or playing basketball… doesn’t it hurt?
Me – mama didn’t raise no bitch
Him – no.. it’s seems not.. but she did raise a smurf
Damnnn I’m not that short
Dr: Are you related to Dr _____ that works here?
Me: Yes, he’s my uncle
Dr: Do you like him?
Me: No he’s an absolute dick
Dr: opens door rushes down hallway and I can overhear him say “told you! Even his own family hates him” to the other docs in the office
“we think you might have lymphoma, but that’s the cancer you want, either we’ll cure it or it will just kill you, no hanging around”
“Stay here. I have to contact the state health department.”
Turns out I had Zica
“How the hell is there sand in here?”
Got really hurt at the beach and had busted an eardrum. Went to the ER was told my ear was fine. Got back in my home state and went to an ENT doctor, had about 7 pieces of sand embedded in the membrane of my eardrum.
I got a vasectomy and the female doctor said, “you’ve got really nice anatomy,” and I couldn’t believe what she had just said to me. She followed it up with “I just mean your skin (on your scrotum) is really thin…”
Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions.
‘Your problem is that you think too much.’ – said by the doctor prescribing me fluoxetine for my OCD.
To repeatedly hit my wrist with a Bible to get rid of some fluid buildup (a Ganglion)
And it worked, too. (Any heavy book or hard object could work, he just advised a Bible)
I asked my doctor, who had just performed brain surgery on me, how he got inside my head. He literally giggled, rubbed his hands together and said, “Power tools.”
In the ER about 2am, he didn’t speak English very well. Starts telling me about my CAT scan and the results of it. Me being half asleep, I stop him and him if they took me out of the bed and put me in a machine. He says yes. I said I’m 99% sure that wasn’t me. He says “are you (name)?” I said no. He flips over the next page of his note pad, “Are you Skittlecar1?” I said yes. Ok good. You’re having a heart attack.
Ended up with 5 stents and I’m all good now after some therapy.
A male doctor declared that I was about to receive the best pelvic exam in my life. He then proceeded to chatter about how horrible they are for women so he asked his wife to help instruct him on making them as painless and comfortable as possible. He did not lie, it was indeed the best pelvic exam I’ve had in my life. Weird as fuck to start out that way, but bless him for caring so much.