#dumbcriminals #crimefails #criminallystupid
Are you curious about some of the most foolish criminals who have ever been caught in the act? 🤔 From bizarre heists to unbelievably stupid mistakes, there are countless stories of criminals whose lack of intelligence led to their downfall. Let’s delve into some real-life examples of the dumbest criminals in history and explore how their actions ultimately caught up with them.
### Not-So-Bright Ideas
#### 1. The Unmasked Robber
One of the most infamous examples of a dumb criminal is the case of a bank robber who thought it was a good idea to rob a bank without wearing a mask. 🤦♂️ Not surprisingly, he was swiftly identified and apprehended shortly after the heist.
#### 2. The Selfie Bandit
In the age of social media, some criminals can’t resist the urge to document their illegal activities. One such individual, known as the “Selfie Bandit,” took a selfie with the stolen items before posting it online. Needless to say, the police didn’t have a hard time tracking him down. 📸
### Facing the Consequences
#### 3. Unintended Confessions
Sometimes, criminals unknowingly implicate themselves in their own crimes. For example, a burglar dialed the wrong number while attempting to call his partner in crime and inadvertently confessed the entire plan to a police officer. Talk about a slip-up! ☎️
#### 4. The Sneaky Getaway
In a failed attempt to evade capture, a criminal tried to escape by hiding in a dumpster. Little did he know that the dumpster was due for collection, and he ended up being dumped into a garbage truck and swiftly discovered. 😂
### Practical Solutions
#### 5. Think Before You Act
Before embarking on any criminal activity, take a moment to consider the potential consequences of your actions. Is it really worth risking your freedom for a quick thrill? Think before you act, and you may just avoid becoming the next dumb criminal to be caught.
#### 6. Cover Your Tracks
If you do find yourself in a sticky situation, be sure to cover your tracks and avoid leaving behind any incriminating evidence. Whether it’s wearing a disguise or ensuring your social media accounts are private, a little bit of caution can go a long way in avoiding detection.
In conclusion, the stories of dumb criminals serve as a cautionary tale of what can happen when poor judgment and impulsive decisions take precedence over common sense. By learning from their mistakes and taking practical steps to avoid detection, you can ensure that you don’t end up on the wrong side of the law. Stay smart, stay safe, and above all, stay out of trouble! 🚓
Boy George, he called the police when a male prostitute stole his cocaine.
Locally we had a guy break into a motorcycle dealership, he used a come along to lift three motorcycles to the roof where he then dropped them(2.5 stories) onto a trailer he had parked below. When the police came he jumped from the roof and broke both arms and legs and his back. He also totaled the three motorcycles.
Definitely the BTK Killer. Dude would send taunting messages to the police for years and was never caught, and then one day he asked the police if they’re able to trace floppy disks to the computers they were used on. The police said no they couldn’t be traced, so Mr. BTK sent the taunting letters on floppies, which were immediately traced back and led to his arrest.
Reminds me of the time a high school friend tried to create an ‘ultimate pet’ by crossbreeding different animals. Started with a cat and a parrot, hoping for a flying cat or at least one that could say “hello”. Long story short, no hybrids, but he did end up with a parrot that kept hissing and a seriously confused cat. Got off easy though, the worst he faced was the wrath of his parents and an intervention from Animal Control for unlicensed breeding.
Speaking of dim-witted crimes, there was a guy in my town who decided to rob a bank wearing a mask – so far, so typical. But the kicker? He had filled out a loan application with his real information just an hour earlier. When he handed the teller the note demanding cash, she just called him by his first name and asked if he forgot to take his loan application home. He actually paused, took the application back, and fled. Police found him at home, filling out another application for a getaway car loan.
I read a story about a bank robber who in 1995 though that covering himself in lemon juice would make him invisible.
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That MAGA idiot from Utah who made public assassination threats to Biden and the FBI was like “dude, stop.” And he was like “fuck you. Just try to come get me!”
Spoiler alert: he was got.
Read about some dude the other day that robbed a bank after paying a wizzard to make him invisible. He got to be high up on the list.
I saw a video of a guy who robbed a bank. He had a mask & got away, but when police looked at the video, they saw that just before the robbery, he had ducked his face into an ATM in order to put on his mask.
Either the guy who tried to rip an ATM off the wall with his car and a chain and ended up leaving his rear bumper at the scene. Or the kids a local deputy told me about,who burglarized a house and walked home in the snow.
There was one guy that robbed a check cashing place. He came in after being buzzed in at the end of one day and shoved a piece of paper in the door jamb, so the door could not re-engage and lock. He left the place and later that night just pushed the door open and came on in to rob it.
The police looked at the door and noticed the paper trick. They removed the paper and it was a receipt with his name on it.
It took them 10 minutes to catch him.
Australian man with $200m of meth in his van hit a parked police car outside the station.
[https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/jul/23/van-carrying-270kg-of-ice-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars](https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/jul/23/van-carrying-270kg-of-ice-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars)
Full disclosure: I cannot confirm or deny if this really happened, but anyways, fun little story I overhead.
There was a group of 4 ex-Rangers that robbed a bank down south. Sprayed all their equipment black, and having extensive training in room-clearing, were able to rob the bank with relative ease.
Got away with it for a few months. The reason they got caught? **Supposedly the ringleader forgot to take his name tape off his body armor.**
I’ve never been able to verify the legitimacy of the story however.
Edit: Former Army Rangers. Sorry I thought the body armor and room clearing gave that away haha.
That guy who robbed a bank without any disguise because he paid a “wizard” in the parking lot 500$ to make him invisible
there was an old story from america of a pedo who got cp delivered to him where he worked and was caught watching it at his desk because he couldnt wait until he was home
Tangential: I have a good friend who is a criminal court judge. I once asked if they ever had to call a recess for fear of laughing out loud. “Yes, all the time: most criminals are terrifyingly stupid.”
In middle school my library had a book called something like “Dumbest Criminal in America” or similar. One story has stuck with me.
Dude decides to knock off a convenience store. He runs in with a shotgun and ski mask and demands the clerk empty the register. She does. He then starts demanding cigarettes and alcohol. The clerk says she needs to verify he’s old enough to have them…Dude pulls out his ID and shows it to her.
She calls the police after he leaves and tells them the name and address.
The real-life guys that inspired the movie Pain and Gain. It’s the ultimate Florida Man story.
This one I have shamelessly stolen from “The Return of Heroic Failures”:
Racing out of a Copenhagen bank in 1978, a Danish theif flagged down a police car. Thinking it was a taxi because it had a light on top, he jumped in the back with a sackful of money and shouted out his home address.
When the bank manager rushed out seeking a policeman to catch the theif, his task could not have been easier.
I saw a video where this young guy is so drunk, he’s already been arrested and being put into the car, and then still says “what you going to do? Take me to jail?” When the cop said something to do with him being drunk driving
That guy that ran away in the dark on foot with light up shoes…classic
A guy who used to frequent our business got caught trying to cash a $40,000 check… at a liquor store. The clerk was understandably suspicious, so he called the cops.
They found him… still there in his van, with his girlfriend… who was in the back of the van with a printer, printing fake money.
This was just before I started, but the guys who were here expressed how much relief they had that he wouldn’t be coming back. He was an issue every time he came by, apparently.
The gang member that tattooed the crime scene of the murder he committed right across his chest. It was a cold case too – he would never have gotten caught if not for that pesky tat.
Maybe not the DUMBEST, but he’s up there: Atilla Ambrus, a Hungarian bank robber who committed a series of crimes after the fall of the Iron Curtain, usually while shitfaced drunk. The only reason he wasn’t caught sooner was massive incompetence from the authorities.
Was covered in an amazing non-fiction book The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber, which is more ludicrous than most fiction.
I heard of s guy who held up a business. He went up there guns drawn asking for the money in the safe. The employee told him the safe wouldn’t open until 3 o clock so the robber arranged to come back at that time with the employee. The dude actually came back to rob the place at 3 o clock and the police where waiting for him. .
Also heard of a dude who robbed a gas station and dropped his wallet during the process. He called up there to see if they found his wallet and they had it. He went to the gas station to retrieve it and the police where up there waiting for him.
I had an in-law that broke into a convenience store over night. He stole a roll of scratch off tickets and then brought all the winners to be cashed out at the same store he broke into.
A bit worse than “caught,” but several years ago I read about a guy who tried to rob a gun store. He had to walk past a marked police cruiser on his way into the store, and then he pulled a gun and fired a shot into the ceiling. He was shot a total of 12 times by 7 different people, including the police officer.
Remember the two dudes in the Walleye Competition getting busted for stuffing lead weights in their fish? Zebco Remembers.
This dude turned himself in to get his own ransom money.
I work in a jail. A man, about 22 years old, robbed a bank here in the Denver metro area while wearing a GPS ankle monitor on. Needless to say, he was arrested shortly after. But my goodness, how much dumber do you have to be?!?!?!
Bank robber: “Umm no, that wasn’t me at the bank.”
FBI: “Well… your GPS monitor says differently.”
Bank robber: “Damn.”
Couple of years ago, an enterprising young Olympic Athlete from my country had a great idea. He bought a crapton of drugs, put them in the trunk of his car, and drove to Sziget, Hungary. If you don’t know, Sziget is one of the largest music festivals in Europe.
When he got there he distributed flyers with his offerings and prices, and his phone number. Police tracked him down and opened the trunk of his car. Apparently it was one of the largest drug busts in Hungarian history lol
I used to work at a grocery store. A car crashed into the store at night but was able to get away. It hit a barbecue sauce display. When the cops found the car, it still had barbecue sauce on it
I remember someone tried to turn himself in for because he thought he’d get the bounty on his own head
Dude tried to rob a gun store with a baseball bat.
https://www.cnn.com/2013/07/26/us/gun-robber-armed-with-bat/index.html
A man in a city near to me killed a woman, put her body into a large piece of luggage, and dumped her in a vacant lot. Unfortunately for him he had used the luggage on an airplane flight, and his baggage ticket with his name was still attached….
Another brilliant criminal put his bank robbery note in his wallet with his other cards. At the bank he accidentally left his driver’s license on the counter when he sifted through his cards for the robbery note….
I went to college in a small town and heard this story from a local.
A car was stolen, and a local 18 year old was suspected, but they didn’t find anything to prove it. In court, the Judge decided to throw out the case.
As they were walking out, the victim looked over and realized that the kid had driven to court in the stolen car. The kid was arrested lol
Somebody tried to rob a business with a chain saw…that wasn’t plugged in.
Back when I was in college a guy dropped a $100 bill on the counter of a convenience store and asked for change. When the clerk opened the drawer the guy pulled a gun and demanded the clerk empty the till into a bag he was holding. Dude took off running, left the $100 on the counter. When the cops arrested him he had $72 in the bag.
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And one of my gf’s friends got drunk AF at a work event, hopped in the company truck, and sideswiped a state trooper on her way home.
Most petty criminals are literally just dumb. It’s well-known in law enforcement circles that when a theft or robbery is reported the first thing to do is check the social media pages of the usual ne’er-do-wells. Cops know who they are, and the chances are good someone will try to sell the goods on Facebook, Craigslist, etc.
I know someone whose house was broken into while she was on vacation. Local police found the perp had literally bragged about it on his Facebook account with pictures placing him inside the house.
A LEO friend told me a story about a foot chase at night trying to catch somebody who was running from a crime. It doesn’t matter what that person did but they were wearing shoes that lit up every step they took so it was super easy to chase this person and follow them. The alleged criminal was zigzagging left and right and the cops just moseyed along following him
My cousin ordered a taxi, asked the driver to wait outside while he ran inside and tried to rob a gas station, then tried to flee in the taxi.
I was in Reading, PA. They were having a city wide bike race. I’m not into bike racing, but apparently this one was a big deal and had been advertised for months. The day of the race, they had many of the roads in town closed. This lady with a baby carriage full of groceries – but mostly cartons of cigarettes – pushes past the crowd and a cop to cross the road and narrowly avoids being hit by two cyclists.
She makes it across. The cop waves her off. All’s well that ends well, right? No. She didn’t like that the cop even tried to tell her not to cross the street, so she crosses back to yell at him, and gets slammed by a whole pack of cyclists. The cop drags her out, and cuffs her.
Remember when LA Gear shoes had lights in the soles? Guy robs a convenience store and runs off into the woods to avoid the cops. It’s nighttime. The cops just followed the lights he strapped to his own feet.
The old guy who told his wife that he would rather be in jail than at home with her. Gave the teller a note demanding money and then sat down in the lobby to wait for the cops after receiving over $2,000.
The kicker…. the judge sentenced him to 6 months home confinement.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.kansascity.com/news/local/crime/article155936879.html
I worked at a restaurant in the early 2000’s, one day as my Manager was coming in to open up in the morning two dudes followed him and held him up at gun point, had him open up the safe and give them the weekly cash out etc.
They got the money (about 40k from what I was told) and drove away.
Their car was identified on the security cameras and they were both caught and arrested at the coffee shop literally across the same intersection about 3 hours later. Both guys. Still had the money with them in the car.