#UnappreciatedInLongTermRelationships #MenFeelUnappreciated #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipStruggles #CommunicationInRelationships
In today’s society, men often feel unappreciated in long term relationships.🤦♂️ While it’s important to acknowledge that both partners can feel unappreciated at times, it’s no secret that men face unique challenges when it comes to feeling valued and respected in their relationship. So, what exactly makes men feel unappreciated in a long term relationship? Let’s dive into some key factors and explore how to address these issues to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Lack of Recognition and Acknowledgment
One of the primary reasons men feel unappreciated in a long term relationship is the lack of recognition and acknowledgment for their efforts and contributions. Whether it’s providing for the family, taking care of household responsibilities, or showing emotional support, men often feel that their actions go unnoticed and unappreciated. This can lead to feelings of resentment and disengagement.
To address this issue, it’s crucial for both partners to openly communicate and express their appreciation for each other. Simple acts of acknowledgment, such as saying “thank you” or showing gratitude for the little things, can go a long way in making men feel valued and recognized for their efforts.
Emotional Connection and Intimacy
Men also crave emotional connection and intimacy in their relationships, but often feel unappreciated when their needs in this area are not met. Many men struggle to express their feelings and vulnerability, and when their efforts to connect emotionally are met with indifference or dismissal, it can lead to a sense of unappreciation and loneliness.
To address this issue, it’s important for couples to create a safe and nurturing environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their emotions and needs. Building trust and open communication is key to fostering a deeper emotional connection and making men feel appreciated and valued in their relationship.
Feeling Undermined and Disrespected
In long term relationships, men can often feel undermined and disrespected, especially when their opinions and decisions are constantly questioned or disregarded. This can lead to feelings of powerlessness and unappreciation, as men struggle to assert their autonomy and feel respected in their relationship.
To address this issue, it’s essential for both partners to cultivate mutual respect and empathy. Encouraging open dialogue and actively listening to each other’s perspectives can help bridge the gap and prevent feelings of unappreciation and disrespect. Creating a collaborative and supportive dynamic can empower men to feel valued and appreciated in their relationship.
High-Search-Volume Keyword: Relationship Issues
Overall, feeling unappreciated in a long term relationship can take a toll on men’s emotional well-being and the overall health of the relationship. By addressing these key factors and actively working towards fostering a culture of appreciation and validation, couples can cultivate a deeper sense of connection and fulfillment in their relationship. It’s important for both partners to be mindful of each other’s needs and consistently work towards building a strong foundation of love and appreciation. When both partners feel valued and appreciated, the relationship can thrive and withstand the test of time.
Nagging, chore play and lack of intimacy.
Literally millions of different little resentments that will naturally build over time if not recognised, isolated, and discussed like adults before it reaches a boiling point of young people in relationship ‘unappreciated olympics argument time’.
The small things we weren’t asked to do.
Paying attention how our partners like their coffee/tea, bringing a snack they mentioned only once they like, protecting their head from open cupboards and whatnot.
Just random small things
Bringing up mistakes of the far past. Or mistakes already resolved. Fucking let it go!! Humans are by default, imperfect. If we choose to stick with our partners despite mistakes made, then we really need to move on and respect water under the bridge. When we keep holding onto it and bringing it up over and over – I definitely feel unappreciated in a long-term.relationship.
Not caring how we do things, but then telling us we did it wrong.
When she sleeps with other guys
Any sentence starting with the words “You never ….” Or “You always”
Lack of attention to needs or at least their needs never getting priority. To me a successful relationship has the balance of both sides having their needs satisfied with equal priority.
When she’s constantly putting others in front of the relationship. Sorry, I can’t go to this thing with you because I’m going shopping with my friend. Sorry, I can’t go on this date with you because my mom needs me. Sorry, I can’t wait for you in the hospital because my brother needs help. Also, when she doesn’t defend you with others put you down.
Lack of intamicy, disrespect, always telling him he is doing something wrong when there are multiple ways of doing it, talking shit about him behind his back, cheating (duh), lack of affection, when you never tell him you appreciate him, when you don’t even say thank you, when you put in little to no effort in the relationship, when you don’t include us in things, wether it be events or big decisions. There is a tone of things that can make a man feel unappreciated.
Being taken for granted. Just because I can endure a lot doesn’t mean I’m invincible. Sometimes I’d like to be heard as well.
It sucks always being someone’s emotional support animal, but it seems like whenever guys try and bring up their feelings they just get dismissed or minimized.
If the other person doesn’t initiate sex , cuz then i would stop doing first and that leads to months of no sexual stuff which makes me resent them and then breakup with them.
Lack of intimacy, and not letting me things do, the way I want to do it.
The perpetual lack of a “thank you” for random things you do because you feel protective, caring and just want to make a woman happy. It gets to a point where they feel entitled to these gestures and actually berate you for NOT doing then, as if they are owed affection and the extra mile.
Lack of emotional intimacy. I’m expected to put all needs before anything I desire for myself. For someone to take the time and demonstrate the appreciation they had for all the sacrifices made, or be there to consistently check-in and listen without judgement or take the feedback and act on it. If that ever happened, I’m pretty sure I’d fall off my chair and not know what the hell to do. For example:
– Don’t make your husband buy his own Christmas present.
– Don’t let your step kids take their new expensive gifts to their father’s house never to return.
– Don’t allow previous relationship triggers to keep you living in the past and not the present.
– Celebrate Father’s Day with as much enthusiasm and fan fair as Mother’s Day.
– Don’t let four years go by and only ask twice how you can better demonstrate love for your husband or BF.
– Don’t interrupt if you’re having a crucial conversation and you don’t like the answer.
– Don’t make him the problem when he’s explaining why something bothers him.
– If you feel your needs are not being met, stop and ask yourself when was the last time his needs were met before starting to complain. Do you even know what his needs are?
– Don’t take his big heart and generosity for granted, demonstrate your appreciation weekly.
Just to name a few, those things make us feel unappreciated…..
When the things we do never get noticed.
When our efforts are downplayed.
When the work we put into a relationship becomes an expectation.
When it feels like the relationship is all give from me and all take from her.
Never being asked how I feel. Lack of gratitude for the things I do out of love. No effort to understand me. Lack of intimacy.
When we aren’t the priority.
My mother used to do this often. She’d not take days off to take my father to hospital when he was unable to walk, but she’d take days off to take her sister’s kids sightseeing.
Lesson learnt, don’t be with a woman who doesn’t put you first.
Never complimenting them, or flirting with them.
Taking extra things I do for her as a given.
No respect. No hugs, no kisses. Being exhausted to the bone but the only thing we are confronted with after a long hard day is “did you have made this or that and this and that?” Questions about transactions from bank account, questions about money and to dos about bills and organizations.
Cold conversations. “hmms” especially.
Digs. Disrespect. Being argumentative. Being disagreeable. Rarely reciprocating. Being selfish.
Focus on what isn’t being done and completely forgetting what IS being done
When sex becomes a chore for her.
Womansplaining accusing him of mansplaining
All of the little, thoughtful things that a man has done from the beginning holding lesser value over time until it’s all expected. Showing a decrease in gratuity to those things over time.
Using sex as a currency. Example: we can have sex if you do X first. There’s no other way for me personally to feel less wanted.
Mainly not being appreciated! Everything positive you do being overlooked or ignored and getting a constant litany of things that you have not done or done wrong.
I read research once that for a relationship to be happy and continue, there have to be six good interactions for each bad one. So if you’re unhappy about something, that’s fine, you’re allowed to feel your feelings and you’re allowed to express them in healthy ways. But if that’s all you do, or even 1/4 of what you do, then you’re setting up for failure.
We get used to things working well, and come to expect them, and then stop talking about them or being thankful or expressing appreciation. Don’t do that.
I feel like I’m not appreciated. I do a lot, small and big, for my family. I almost feel invisible sometimes, like I’m a cog who’s doing what he’s supposed to do. My wife doesn’t do this intentionally but I feel women don’t see the need to be appreciative towards men, the societal standard is for them to be get all the attention. I just want a thank you or “hey you look good today” or some attention
Not being listened to. Disrespect.
The biggest one is using sex as a means to get what she wants
Paying/working for everything and being treated like a doormat.
Comparing me to her ex
This had happened to me 3 weeks ago. My girlfriend was out with her mom and I had decided to do a deep clean of our apartment. I cleaned all of the dishes, scrubbed the bathroom, dusted the furniture, did all of the laundry, vacuumed and mopped the floor and I had just finished dinner.
Now I normally keep our place tidy, but I had spent a long time doing this deep clean. I was actually so very proud of myself. In the past I used to be a messy person, but I was very pleased with how our apartment was looking.
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My girlfriend came home an hour after I had finished all of the work and she said “Why does it smell in here? Why is it so dark in here? Why is it so messy (I had forgotten to organize the closet when you first walk in). I hate living in this messy house” imagine how that made me feel after sinking so many hours cleaning the house.
Lack of reciprocation as in not matching how much and how often I do things for her to the point it’s just transactional and it feels like I carry the relationship
Always having to be the one who makes the compromises. Our opinions accounting for nothing. Being told harsh words for things that are not worth those words and not getting any small sign of physical affection like pat/hug/kiss.
Mean comments when she gets mad. I go to great lengths not to snap when I’m upset. My ex put no such restrictions on her behavior.
for me in my marriage it was things like not being missed when id been gone all week for work, and during the times id be gone it was just like i was forgotten about completely. Also anything sexual what so ever was like a chore to her and she never wanted to do anything together but would stop everything to hang out with her friends or family. Even canceling or forgetting about plans i had made for us after being away for work all week and id finally have a day off and be home she would just forget that and make plans to be out of the house, so id just sit at home alone on my only days off work.
Lack of reciprocal affection, compliments or respect.
Criticism, a lack of intimacy (physical and emotional), negativity, assuming men have no inner emotional life.
Never apologizing when she’s wrong.
Not *denying wrongness*; literally never, ever using the words “I’m sorry.” There are several “I was wrong, but” but never any “I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
To everyone taking the time to share and respond to my post, thank you so much! I’m reading every single one of your responses
Currently going through this right now: not being heard. You focus so much time on your partner’s wants and needs but can’t express yourself without there being some problem.
For me, it was a evolution.
In the beginning / first few years of the relationship, she seemed to think I was awesome. She seemed to appreciate who I was, what I did for her, her daughter, and her family, and my future potential. She’d compare me to her friends partners and tell me how lucky she was.
As time went on, all the things I was and provided seemed to become expectations, and were no longer appreciated. So in her eyes, I wasn’t doing enough. I would do more and more, but those quickly became expectations too.
Eventually, I realized how miserable I was, feeling like I was never enough, and was never doing enough. I also started to realize how unrealistic her expectations had become, and how imbalanced our relationship had become.
Keep in mind, I was the sole income provider. Her daughter was in her teens and largely independent. In addition to working 8-10 hours a day, I took care of all the bills / accounting / admin work to keep the house going, all the vehicle maintenance, all the yard care & landscaping, all the home renovations, etc. She loved cooking but hated dishes. So I started doing the dishes each and every time. She hated driving her daughter to events and activities, so I did most of it.
When I started to show frustration, she suggested I go to therapy. I did. That wasn’t enough, so we went to couples therapy. The therapist pointed out flaws in her ways and things she needed to improve (same with me of course), and that wasn’t acceptable so we went 2 more until she found one that aligned with her.
Then sex stopped completely. Not only was I not appreciated through words of affirmation, but physical touch was then off the table.
Eventually I became miserable and it seemed like that was going to be my life. Apparently this life was so hard for her that she filed for divorce. She took half of everything (most of which I owned before marrying her), but it was worth it.
My life is so much better now.
….
I know that was a big rant, so I’ll answer the question more directly. From my experience and what I witness from friends, it seems like a lot of women who don’t work outside the home (or are much lower earners) seem to completely ignore that working / providing income is a major contribution. Is your life hard at home with or without kids? Sure, but so is putting in 8-12 hours a day at a job. We just want to be appreciated for it and have it be acknowledged.
We understand that you’re not always up for sex, but physical touch is important to a lot of us. We don’t want sex when you don’t want it, but it’d be nice for that need to not be ignored.
We want to work on ourselves and improve, but we also want to be loved and appreciated for who we are NOW, even with our shortcomings.
I honestly don’t know one male friend that feels appreciated. It’s sad.
Disproportionate effort.
At the start of relationships, men have to put in a disproportionate amount of effort. Hopefully this evens out as the relationship goes on.
However sometimes (often), women will expect men to continue putting in all the effort that they did at the start, whilst not reciprocating.