What makes men responsible for being good at sex? Do women unfairly blame men for their own shortcomings in the bedroom? Why is there a double standard when it comes to discussing sex? Let’s unravel the mystery behind these dynamics and explore the reasons behind these perceptions and expectations. #sex #gender #relationships #communication #doublestandard
Easy answer is men are the subject and women are the object in respect to sex.
Another part is there’s a lot of white knights and “red pilled” versions of women. Weird feminist shit and women used to being around “yes men” or “yes women”.
Women bad at sex will still get second chances with their partners. Men can get themselves off in sex. Women suck at getting themselves off and expect the dude to do it. They’re perfectly capable of rubbing themselves while being penetrated and/or explaining to their partner on what to do. Theres plenty of women that suck at blow jobs, suck at being on top, suck at doing 1/2 the work. Women are capable of doing the sex in a lot of positions. Doing it doggy style? The chick can literally do half the work and it’ll let the guy conserve his stamina
If you Google “orgasm gap”, you’ll see that straight women are less likely to orgasm than any other demographic.
So it’s not that women expect men to be good at sex. It’s more like we expect the bare minimum, and men often fail to deliver.
There is an overall expectation that men are the givers and are responsible for the woman’s pleasure. That same expectation is not the same for women. Why? I have no idea.
I have had plenty of women sexual partners that did absolutely nothing. Like barely returning my kiss. Not touching my body. Refusing to do the work. Its astounding the entitled attitude
I’ve (40f) never seen it that way. It takes 2 to be good at sex. I’ve never said my husband is bad in bed either. But he is a giver. We both are out here trying to please the other. If my husband ever said I was bad. I’d say that he should be more verbal in his wants then. . . .
Google “orgasm gap” and get back to me.
There’s an assumption (I’ll leave it to you to judge the validity) that men want sex more, and will orgasm more easily, and that if a woman is willing to have sex, it’s the job of the man to make it worth it. She is less likely to orgasm, so the man needs to step up and help her.
If you want more sex, you have make sure that she enjoys sex too. The more she enjoys it, the more you get
One time someone posted a topic asking what a woman needed to be good at sex and most responses were about being enthusiasm (if that’s not the answer, then the posters did a disservice), and, to a lesser extent, reciprocity. So it seems that men need very little to get off.
On the other hand, it takes a lot more than sticking it in to make a woman feel good, so naturally they have more to complain about.
And then there are younger guys who only learned from porn so not only they only stick it in, but also expect women to be enthusiastic and do a lot for them. Meet enough of those, and a woman is going to complain a lot about men being bad at bed. It doesn’t mean *you* are one of them, naturally.
Meanwhile, unfortunately many women are still socialized to not be too interested in sex, so they might be even embarrassed to appear enthusiastic. Or they don’t have any experience feeling good by themselves, so they don’t know what to ask for, and just let the guy lead, and then they think that’s all sex can offer. But, despite that, believe me, they’re still anxious about being bad at sex.
Because y’all get to orgasm just about every time you have sex and women often have to remind male partners we haven’t.
It’s not. Full stop. You’re allowed to have your expectations as well. Let them be mad they aren’t good in bed for you. Men get mad when women tell them they aren’t good in bed. The only time someone is at fault is when they want/expect more and are too scared to have a voice.
Cause you got an outie. She has an innie. She’s utterly vulnerable. You aren’t.
Jim Jeffries has a great bit on this.
It’s you
It’s very easy guys. 1-treat her like shes your equal beat friend. 2-Do 1% more work around the house than her. 3- Dont have a tiny dick or one that wont last for at least 30 minutes.
Best sex I’ve had the women made sure they got off, too. They wanted it and made it happen. They rode me, we’re vocal about what was good and what wasn’t. We did various positions
Bad sex, they lie on their back, didn’t want to ride because it was too much work, the expectation was on me and my thusting ability to get them get off. And the same was true for me to get off.
Basically good sex, they gotta get up and do some of the work, thrusting for 30 minutes is fucking hard too, ladies, sex is a workout, and you dont just get to lie down and take it, then complain it was bad.
If you are complaining, it’s bad, and you look back and find you are on your back most of the time. That’s a you issue. you’re the reason it’s bad.
You word that like they’re being held to some kind of standard.
With traditional heterosexual sex, it is seen as an act to be done to women, women being the “subject” or “object”. There is little to no benefit for women in the way the average/pornrot man attempts to have sex with them. Do you genuinely believe women will be happy with (traditional/pornified) heterosexual sex when it’s focus is 100% on their degradation and discomfort, and none at all on their actual pleasure? It is an act of male dominance/male ego boost.
Imagine being a woman during traditional sex. Every little detail of it. Does that look fun to you?
Its not. Stop taking occasional stereotypes as 100% cultural truths
Also stop thinking of groups of people as fucking monoliths. “they do this, they do that”
No, “they” fucking dont
Some dudes get off if you blow air at it. Low skill ceiling
It’s amazing how women even shirk responsibility for their own orgasms
Do you know what percentage of the population are intersex?
It’s pretty fucking low it’s like way less than 1%. I would hardly consider that enough of a demographic to consider Worthy per the article we’re talking about
It’s far easier for men to cum.
It’s not. I’ve been with women who are good at sex and i’ve been with women who are bad at Sex and I prefer the women who the women who are good at sex.
Unfortunately they are often crazy.
It’s a way to shift the blame for failing to communicate with their partner and/or their own failure to perform. The orgasm gap is a not a good explanation when the same statistics show women can’t even reliably get themselves off.
It isnt
Clerks mostly sums it up.
Honestly the real answer is that women need more foreplay than men, too much foreplay for men get them to ejaculate earlier, while women need more foreplay for them to get their orgasm, but most people just skip straight to the sex, I personally think that you gotta finger her hole or lick it or smthn or whatever before sticking it in to get her ready for it, while guys often get too much foreplay when the most a guy would need is just his penis held so that it remains erect, it’s not the sex between men and women that’s terrible, it’s the foreplay that’s terrible
Because women have far more options.
**About orgasms and pleasure**; something people are not mentioning is **for the most part men make themselves cum** rather than the woman being responsible for the orgasms. Since we are mostly the more active side of the equation we know what feels good to us and we hit those angles and rhythms. (Of course it is easier for men to do so but still the cause of the orgasm is men)
So considering this perspective a lot of women don’t make their men cum either or feel pleasure. A lot of women do not take charge of their orgasm/pleasure during sex for a myriad of reasons.
The only lady(my current gf) who has made cum once and it was with a hand job we did communicate a lot and I showed her and even then I had to get myself 95% of the way there.
I’m not speaking for everybody here, because everybody’s different. But as a general rule, even if a guy has bad sex with a woman, (like she’s boring and just lays there), he’s still likely going to get off anyway.
If a guy is bad at sex, not only will she not enjoy it, but it might even be painful. Classic PIV sex is generally more ultimatum satisfying for the man.
Its easier for a dude to get off than a woman
Worst is starfish from a woman, no foreplay, just pure put it inside
The pecker makes it happen.
Years ago Wanda Sykes did a joke where she talked about why women fake orgasms.
She said that sex is like a meal at a restaurant. Almost every time a man has a meal, it’s like “god damn, that’s the best meal I ever had. My compliments to the chef”.
For women, sometimes the meal isn’t cooked right, sometimes it takes too long to come out of the kitchen. Sometimes you are like “you know what, I can cook faster for myself!”
Basically, women are required to do less to get a guy off than a guy to get a woman off. It’s just how the biology works.
ITT: people overthinking shit.
It’s up to you to fuck well because there’s no shortage of applicants.
It’s not most women are also terrible in bed.
Most women suck at sex because so many don’t have orgasms. And yea, I know how to please a woman. Even toys don’t work. It’s rare to find a sexually competent woman.
I hope it’s not up to me
Something something equality, that’s why lol
This sounds more like a conversation you need to have with your imaginary sex life.
(You’re generalizing based on some random comments you heard. There are 8 billion people in the world. Widen your dataset)
Probably because a lot of the flirting and dating aspect is up to men as well. Men must “initiate”, and women should be able to just sit back, because they “receive”. It’s based on an outdated mindset that if a woman initiates or does anything sexual for a man she’s a slut or desperate.
Women showing effort is apparently desperation, whereas men showing effort is a requirement. It’s dumb.
Imagine, you go into a store and you bought a candybar of chocolate you really loved and you always got that one every time you went in for years. Life is great, this is the best thing ever. You only really ever tepidly sampled other stuff because this thing is just so great. You never want it to change and in a perfect world you’d have a lifetime supply of it.
Then one day the store stops selling it. You can’t get it anywhere.
You will pretty much never be able to replace it. Understandably sad.
Some people are so immature that they’re never able to get over that and they’re completely unaware that chocolate/candy is a luxury good they were never entitled to in the first place. Some people legitimately believe that chocolate is actually a need they have that must be fulfilled.
A mature person ultimately learns to appreciate a lot of different foods and eventually realizes that as nice as chocolate is, being obsessed with one chocolate product is very odd for an adult and even for a child it probably is an indicator of issues.