#relationshipadvice #girlfriendissues #flirtingatwork #communicationiskey
Hey there! 🌟 Dealing with relationship issues can be tough, especially when it comes to navigating tricky situations like getting flirted with at work. If a girl flirted with you at work and your girlfriend is feeling upset, it’s important to handle the situation with care and understanding. Let’s break it down step by step on how to proceed in a way that respects both your girlfriend’s feelings and your own boundaries:
## Understanding Your Girlfriend’s Perspective
First things first, it’s crucial to empathize with your girlfriend and try to see things from her point of view. Communication is key in any relationship, so listen to her concerns and emotions without judgment. Acknowledge her feelings and assure her that you value her trust and respect.
### Advice from Bhagavad Gita:
“In all actions, let the motive be thy guiding principle.” – This powerful quote reminds us to always act with pure intentions and integrity, even in challenging situations. Keep this in mind as you navigate your relationship dynamics.
## Communicate Openly and Honestly
Be transparent about the encounter at work and explain your actions and reasoning behind them. Let your girlfriend know that you felt uncomfortable with the flirting and that your intention was solely to disengage from the situation. Reassure her that your loyalty lies with her and that you have no interest in pursuing anyone else.
## Apologize and Make Amends
Apologize sincerely if your actions inadvertently hurt your girlfriend or caused any distress. Express remorse for any misunderstanding and reaffirm your commitment to your relationship. Take responsibility for your actions and show genuine remorse for any unintentional harm caused.
## Set Boundaries Going Forward
Establish clear boundaries with your girlfriend about interactions with others, especially in a professional setting. Ensure that both of you are on the same page regarding what is considered appropriate behavior and what crosses the line. Respect each other’s comfort levels and communicate openly about any concerns that arise.
### Additional Tips:
– Make quality time for your girlfriend to rebuild trust and connection.
– Seek couples counseling if communication barriers persist.
– Practice active listening and validation of each other’s feelings.
– Remember that forgiveness and understanding are key in overcoming relationship challenges.
By approaching the situation with sensitivity, honesty, and a willingness to learn and grow, you can navigate through this bump in the road with your girlfriend. Remember that relationships require effort from both parties, and mutual respect and understanding are essential for maintaining a healthy bond. Keep the lines of communication open and continue to work towards a stronger, more resilient partnership.
Remember, love is a journey filled with ups and downs, but with patience and understanding, you can overcome any obstacles that come your way. Stay true to yourself, honor your commitments, and always strive to act with integrity and compassion.
Embrace the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita in your daily life, and let the wisdom guide you towards making decisions rooted in love and righteousness. May your relationship flourish with harmony, understanding, and unwavering devotion. 🌸
Wishing you all the best on your journey towards a happy and fulfilling relationship! ❤️
Date an adult.
One who, for example, understands the behavioural constraints faced by people who depend on tips. Who understands that you can’t influence people to behave appropriately when they are paying your bills. Who does not suffer from irrational and destructive jealousy. And meanwhile stop trying to appease this madwoman, it can’t be done because she is *irrational*.
You were just nice. I don’t know how you will convince your girlfriend of that but she is 1000% in the wrong here. You look good AND you work with people? You’re gonna get hit on all the time. She’ll need to deal with that.
Your gf is immature. Did she expect you to be rude to the customer because she’s ridiculously suspicious?
She needs to get over it. You’ve validated her feelings and really, the whole thing is silly and it’s time to move on. If your GF keeps on with this, it’s pretty much a preview of how she’ll behave with every little thing that makes her insecure, which doesn’t sound like it takes much.
Tell your gf to grow up.
As someone who knows I am a jealous person, this is too much. You gave someone your name, you were honest with your gf. I don’t see where you were wrong. If you had given the girl your number to avoid conflict I could see your gf being this upset. But if my husband came home and told me he got flirted with and he gave the chick his first name, I’d be annoyed someone hit on him and asked for his name after he said he was married. But I wouldn’t be mad at him for simply telling someone his name.
She is being incredibly unreasonable. Telling this person your name is hardly a sin and was just a way to get them to leave.
If someone keeps emphasizing their “feelings” over everything else, and their only argument is that you must “validate their feelings”, then I’m sorry but imo that just means “I know I’m being unreasonable, but my emotional response is all I have to go on right now, so you must accept my emotional response and therefore concede that I’m in the right.”
Dont most restaurants have name tags
My opinion
Date a girl who isn’t insecure about small misunderstandings and trusts you to not lie to her. A lot of relationships tend to struggle with building trust so maybe sit down and say, do you trust me? If she says that she does, then ask if she trusts the things that you say? If she says that she does, and you tell her about this girl and your honest feelings and how you’d like to move on, and she continues to get upset then she’s clearly not trusting you.
I understand she can definitely have insecurities. She wants you to have empathy towards sure, but you were just having a conversation at work and sometimes we can’t control the way conversations go we don’t want to to be mean to people who like us naturally we’re all social people, she’s reading too much into a small interaction because it threatens her relationship with you for some reason in her mind.
This is the dumbest thing ever. My husband tells me someone flirted with him and I’m like “seeeeeee you still got it. Hot SOB” it’s harmless and everyone needs the confidence boost. If she flipped out bc someone hit on you at a service job then you might wanna throw this one back and see if you can catch a grown one.
I haven’t really worked in food service but I do work at a hotel…. don’t we start the conversation 99% of the time with “Hello, welcome, I’m ______ and I’ll be your server! Would you like anything to start with?” Or something like that? You would’ve given your name regardless if she asked or no as it’s part of the job. And we got name tags so? Your girlfriend honestly is out of line for this ngl.
Female servers get hit on 100x the amount male servers do. It shouldn’t be, but it’s definitely a “job hazard”.
Maybe your girlfriend should talk to one of her friends who works as a server to get a new perspective.
You work in customer service, if she doesn’t understand that you will be flirted with then maybe lose the job or her, whatever is easiest
Tell your girlfriend to grow tf up
Op…. What if a girl hugged you from behind? Will she call you a cheater?
Or will you carry a gun and shoot every girl who looks at you?
You need to tell her that she is your partner not your luggage
You’re a waiter, you’re supposed to give your name. This sub is throwing me for a loop lately, too many people tolerating insane shit from their insane partners. I think telling her to grow the hell up is pretty much all you can do.
Your gf clearly thinks the other woman is the witch who actually owns the restaurant and now that you gave her your real name she has power over you. It’s of utmost importance that you don’t forget your name or your soul will belong to the witch, you could maybe write it down somewhere and put it in a safe place, or ask a trusted friend to call your name regularly.
If you forget your name you might end up forever working in that establishment and never be able to return home.
Yeah op the consensus she is immature. I agree with this. Insecurity can turn into some just horrible shit like her being controlling, clingy, and that’ll build resentment. And that’s 100% of the time. You’ll say outwardly *but I love her* but inwardly will burn a seething mess.
I would not waste my youth with such a girlfriend. Not worth it .
My brother in Diety. Giving someone your name isn’t submissive. It’s being polite.
Your GF needs to order a full set of marbles from Amazon. And let her browse the site. Maybe the’ve got a good deal on common sense too.
You didn’t reciprocate the flirting, you told the woman you have a girlfriend. You did Everything you needed to do. You were their server, giving your name is usually customary. Unless your gf has a reason not to trust you in the past (previous infidelity etc) then she is over reacting for sure. All you can do is reassure her and hope that she drops it.
So, to summarize, you got flirted with at work, didn’t take advantage of it, told the gf about it and that wasn’t good enough.
Do you expect this situation to get any better in your relationship? I hope not. Act accordingly.
Giving your name to someone makes you submissive? And is submissive a bad thing? That is a question for you boo, as I make no judgment on D/s types of relationships. Actually, the fact you are letting you girlfriend tag you as a sub likely shows you do have a submissive side.
Since most servers give their names regularly, I don’t understand her issue. I have tried for the last few minutes to reason through it, but I can’t make it click. I also question if your girlfriend is being faithful, as accusing someone of infidelity is a good sign they aren’t being honest about everything. When it is over “my name is X”, it gets to a very petty level.
Jeez… to be 25 again…. 😏
Downvotes be damned, so here I go.
I’m struggling to understand why you even shared this with your girlfriend in the first place. Servers, bartenders, hosts/hostesses often are flirted with by customers. You handled this situation perfectly and respectfully, so what was to be gained by sharing it with your girlfriend.
I assume that you’ve been together for a while, so you should have had an idea of how she might react. Why open a can of worms that didn’t need to be opened? And don’t bother with the whole communication trope because that shouldn’t have any bearing on this situation.
Knowing someone’s first name is a gateway drug to cheating. Everyone knows that.
Kidding.
Your girlfriend needs to chill. You were being baseline polite to avoid a scene and get a decent tip (I hope they tipped well!) and this is an unfortunate part of the service industry: being polite to inappropriate people so you don’t get chewed out by a manager.
From a woman, what you’re saying is right however when we’re expressing specific feelings like those we moreso just want to hear you validate our emotions before defending yours. Let her know you understand where she’s coming from and how even though you only acted responsibly and professionally that you STILL understand her hurt and maybe she’ll then be more reasonable. That’s just my personal opinion based on how my (20f with medium functioning autism) brain usually works because I need to feel understood before I stop pushing my point which is typically perceived as me being mad or argumentative; in reality I just want to be understood
i know a lot of people here gonna be insulting to your gf, and be like shes too jealous so breakup.
many people are like this, and the only way to learn, to grow, and get more confident is to work out those issues, not to just break up and give up, nothing is gonna change.
you, did just right, you sensed what that woman’s intentions are, are you were respectful and very clear you arent interested. you played your part just right.
now to your girlfriend, shes obviously feeling a type of way. if women approach you by themselves, i assume your objectively attractive, and in this case, even if you do everything right, the gf can still feel threatened , because she knows there would be women who would find you attractive enough to actually make a move. so she just feels threatened and wants to keep her relationship safe, but she isnt delivering her feeling to you in an appropriate way.
so just sit down and have a conversation, dont talk just specifically about that event and who said what exactly. talk also in general, about the fact that there could be people who would try to make a move , which could feel threating and kick the response of wanting to keep your partner, and guard your relationship.
whats important here, its not whos right or wrong, you didnt do anything wrong so theres nothing to apologize for.
what you need to do is less logic and more feelings, to make her feel that you can in fact understand her feelings. its not about right or wrong, but just that you are in fact capable of understanding her and where she comes from.
and in return, ask her, that even if she feels however she does, that she would approach you differently. not aggressively, not in an accusatory way, and to now assume the worst of you. make it clear that you are willing to hear her out and cater, but she needs to change the way she approaches you with things that bother you, that you guys arent enemies, so she shouldnt approach you as if youre trying to hurt her.
she should communicate her thoughts and feeling in a constructive manner.
good luck, i hope you guys can have a good communication and avoid such situations.