#AdviceEtiquette #WhenToGiveAdvice #UnsolicitedAdvice #CYA #ConstructiveFeedback
When it comes to offering advice, it’s important to remember the golden rule: only give advice when it’s solicited. This rule is crucial in adult-to-adult interactions for several reasons. Let’s dive into why this principle is so important and how to navigate the delicate balance of sharing advice in a respectful and appropriate manner.
## Why Wait for Solicited Advice?
There are three main reasons why offering unsolicited advice can do more harm than good:
### 1. Implicit Communication
When someone doesn’t explicitly ask for feedback or advice, they are often implicitly signaling that they are not seeking any guidance. It’s important to respect people’s boundaries and only offer assistance when it is welcomed.
### 2. Personal Growth
People grow and change on their own schedules and based on their own motivations. Pushing unsolicited advice onto someone can derail their personal growth journey and hinder their ability to make changes at their own pace.
### 3. Practicing Respectful Communication
By refraining from giving unsolicited advice, you are practicing good CYA (Cover Your Ass) techniques. Offering unwanted advice can come across as judgmental, condescending, or narcissistic. It’s essential to maintain respectful communication and avoid behaviors that can be perceived negatively.
## When Is It Appropriate to Give Advice?
While the general rule is to hold off on offering advice unless asked, there are some exceptions:
– If someone specifically requests your input or guidance, feel free to share your thoughts in a respectful and constructive manner.
– In situations where safety or ethical concerns are at stake, it may be appropriate to step in and offer advice, even if it hasn’t been explicitly solicited.
– When interacting with children or individuals under your care (such as students or mentees), providing guidance and feedback can be beneficial for their growth and development.
## Tips for Offering Constructive Feedback
When the time comes to give advice, keep these tips in mind to ensure your feedback is well-received:
1. **Ask for Permission:** Before offering advice, ask the person if they are open to receiving feedback. Respecting their boundaries sets the stage for a more productive conversation.
2. **Focus on Solutions:** Instead of pointing out flaws or criticizing, frame your advice in terms of possible solutions. Encourage the person to brainstorm ideas and work towards positive outcomes.
3. **Empathize:** Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and approach the situation with empathy. Understanding their perspective can help you tailor your advice to their needs and concerns.
4. **Be Specific:** Provide concrete examples and actionable steps for improvement. Vague or generic advice is less likely to be effective in helping the person make positive changes.
5. **Follow Up:** Check in with the person after offering advice to see how they are progressing. Offering ongoing support and encouragement can help them stay motivated towards their goals.
Remember, offering advice is a delicate balance that requires sensitivity and respect for the other person’s boundaries. By following these guidelines and practicing patience and empathy, you can offer valuable guidance without overstepping your bounds.
Why are you giving us this advice? Where did we solicit your advice on giving advice?
I feel like I keep learning this lesson – everytime I follow this tip, I’m impressed at how effective it is.
OMG yes. So, I have this person in my dog-walking circle who just loves giving alternative -spiritual-batshit-crazy health advice every fucking time I see her, even if I am already signaling like crazy that I don´t want any. Please for the love of ..whatever…don´t be that person.
It is infuriating and even more so in a serene and calming environment when you try to cuddle as many dogs as possible in nature
Did I ask for this advice?