Is it okay to skip a wedding after being uninvited due to the bride’s hostility? Texts from friends beg me to reconsider, but is it worth it? #WeddingDrama #UninvitedGuest #ChoosingSides #FriendshipDilemma
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NTA this is wild. You’re the one being made uncomfortable after Jennifer started displaying this two-faced behavior (since she was nice before), and you’re somehow to blame? That’s some major bs.
Edit to add: also “not fighting hard enough”; part of adulthood is learning which battles are worth fighting. Kudos to you for not wasting your time and energy on this one.
NTA There’s something fishy here. Unless she’s just batshit crazy, someone must have told her something, or she must have misinterpreted something.
Anyways, it’s her wedding, if she doesn’t want you there it’s not your job to beg her. Your friend should be able to deal with his soon-to-be wife on his own.
NTA. I would not go if she apologized and drove me to the wedding herself. Total red flag. Your poor friend is going to have an awful time with her.
Obvious NTA. If Matthew wants you there Jennifer needs to come crawling back with an apology.
He also needs to draw a line in the sand and sort this out, because if Jennifer can’t get her head out of her ass he needs to choose between their relationship or your shared friendship. Expecting you to put up with this Mean Girls bullshit is unfair to you.
NTA. Clearly this Jennifer is nuts. It would be a mistake to go anywhere near this wedding! Other than speak to your friend Matthew to convince him to drop her like a stone (or at least postpone wedding a few more years) that’s your lot. If Matthew really thought about this he would realise he is making a mistake. He’s kinda stupid to still try to invite you despite what has happened
NTA – if the couple (both of them) don’t want you there, don’t go.
She will cause drama and blame you if you go, btw, so definitely also don’t go for that reason.
I guarantee there’s a piece of information you (or we) are missing. She was fine with you until around the time of the engagement, then things went sideways. Somebody said something to her and I suspect it was your friend. That he’s begging you to show up at the wedding when his fiancee is adamantly against it is really telling. Whatever. Don’t go as she’ll make a huge scene. There’s no way that marriage will last. NTA.
NTA I hope you bought the dress tho. I always like to have something nice in the closet. Your friend’s bride to be is an insecure heifer with a nasty temper and a foul mouth.
>Jennifer was angry, called me names such as a whore, a boyfriend stealing bitch, and that I was officially uninvited to the wedding. She caused such a commotion, the employee of the store asked us to leave.
I wish your friend well, good luck with that.
NTA…you are not the one who should be fighting hard enough. Matthew should be doing so on your behalf. I would not want to go anywhere where I was clearly not wanted. If you get an actual invitation, just rsvp nope and enjoy the day with your boyfriend.
INFO: why was she so mad that you found a perfect dress? Was it too close to being white or the color of the bridesmaid dresses?
NTA. She sound extremely jealous and insecure. She’s calling you names for finding a dress you like? She needs help.
If I were Matthew, I’d be rethinking the marriage.
NTA but this is crazy. Why is your friend so insistent on you kissing up to his fiancée instead of telling her she cannot disinvite you?
Nta. And If I was Matthew, I’d be seriously reevaluating my relationship after seeing my so treat a childhood friend like garbage.
NTA and I think your friend needs to reevaluate whether she is wife material
NTA Why are they angry at you for not “fighting hard enough” instead of her for creating this situation in the first place?!?
Also please tell me his sister stood up for you at the dress shop like she said she would???
NTA.
What did everyone else say who went shopping with you guys, when she started name-calling?
NTA- You’re making the correct choice for both you and Jennifer. You’ll be made miserable by her, and possibly any friends she enlists to help.
If Matthew and friends persist, message them saying the wedding day is about the bridal couple and their happiness. You don’t want to cause Jennifer distress with your presence. Out of respect for Jennifer’s feelings of insecurity and jealousy, you’ll be sitting the wedding out. And close with saying you hope her jealousy doesn’t start interfering with your friendly hangouts, it would suck if Matthew had to quit coming because Jennifer can’t handle him having female friends.
Is it possible a third agent is involved? There are certainly cases where a troublemaker tells lies to one friend, about another friend, in order to get some advantage. Could somebody be whispering to Jennifer that you are after her guy? When she said you “knew, and to not act stupid” could it be based on some story concocted and fed to her? I’ve seen that play out in real life.
NTA but there is definitely something missing in this story, presumably that you are not aware of. Maybe Matthew can clear it up when you meet, otherwise he’s marrying someone that isn’t the friendliest person.
Either she unhinged… or her guy told her that he has feelings for you. Either way, carry a friend with you if you go to meet him. In case he decides to declare his love for you.
NTA maybe your friendship has run its course. She won’t change, and he is now going to be hitched to her officially. Spare yourself the headache. And switch your phone off on the day of the wedding and maybe a day or two before.
If Matt has feelings for you, Jenn’s going to want to lash out at you on her wedding day whether or not you’re present.
NTA
She public called you a whore & uninvited you. The bride uninvited you, a friend of the groom.
This is not your fight. Bride clearly expresses she hated you and uninvites you, that’s the end of your involvement. Your only option is to respect the wishes of the bride for her wedding.
If the groom disagrees with the bride’s actions of disinviting you, that is his fight to fight with her. She has clearly altered his guest list. If he finds this unacceptable it is not your place to argue his wishes to her. If he wants you there, he has to fight harder for that, not you.
Since his sister was with you dress shopping what does she have to say since she witnessed her unruly behavior first hand? Is she one of the people trying to get you to come still?
I’m curious what your friend has to say when you meet with him.
NTA but Jennifer surely is!
NTA- Now that she has the ring she has dropped all pretense about liking his friends. She waited until after he asked her to marry him before she showed her true face because she knew that he might not ask if he knew of her hatred towards you. That jealousy has always been there, she was just hiding it.
I don’t know about anyone else but I really really need to be updated how this goes. Pleeeeease
NTA, but I wonder if Matthew is going to tell you something to explain her behavior – like he used you as an excuse or something and that’s why she’s off her rocker about you.
Nta……Something was either said to her or she pretended to like you until he proposed. Either way I bet that this marriage won’t be long lasting. Stay home do something with your boyfriend only thing waiting for you at the wedding is more drama.
NTA
This needs an update after you and Matthew talk!
NTA
But he keeps making excuses for her, so he’s never going to get to the real truth of why she sees you as such a threat. Go ahead and meet with him, it’s probably going to be the last time you do.
Here’s what you say to your friend… “ I am absolutely not going to your wedding. I don’t care how much you want me there. It’s going to ruin what is supposed to be the best day of her life, and I don’t want to be the cause of a scene. For some reason, she thinks I’m after you. Why is that? If you haven’t done anything to make her think that way, maybe somebody else spread a lie? I don’t know. Maybe she’s just a control freak.
“But, bottom line, I’m not going to the wedding and this is probably the end of our friendship. She doesn’t want me around. She hates my guts. She’s never gonna let me around your kids to play auntie. Which breaks my heart, but you just go along with her behavior it and make excuses for her, so let’s just say goodbye today.
“I wish you all the happiness in the world.”
Fight hard enough for what exactly ? Bride doesn’t want you there, Matthew has a bride/wife problem. Question will be how will be proceed? She is going to try and exclude you from anything that they are at. If they are part of your core friend group, you will have a problem.
NTA, and the only gift I would send would be numbers of divorce lawyers, cause he’s going to need it.
NTA but it sure looks to me like somebody is stirring up the situation to cause trouble. Stick to your very sensible decision to stay away from the wedding and do not meet up with Matthew. He knowsyou’re serious and meeting up is a bad idea.
I hope you bought that dress! You can go on a date night with your boyfriend instead of witnessing your friend ruining your life. You bought it, right? Right?! 🙂
NTA. Tell Matthew that you will be happy to attend his next wedding.
Updateme